ABSOLUTE Strangers touching your baby!

SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
:angry3:

Ok - I remember the rants about strangers coming up and touching pregnant bellies. I was actually one of those who didn't mind (I liked the attention :cheese:). But strangers touching my baby is another story.

I was out the other day with my daughter (Jonna's 5 months now) and waiting at the bathroom to change her diaper. A woman comes up to Jonna chatting, and then proceeds to start rubbing her head! Another lady in line said something sarcastic to the woman - pretty much like "stop touching the baby, she doesn't know you." I played it off and switched Jonna to my other side, but smiling all the while.

Has anyone else experienced this??? If so, how did you handle absolute strangers touching your child?

Comments

  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    People touch my babies/toddlers and I don't mind. A little pat on the head, or touching their hands or feet doesn't seem like a big deal to me, provided these were just normal people and not like homeless people/druggies.

    I am a little more strict about little kids touching my baby because she has contact allergies and little kids tend to aim for the face. I just bring baby out of reach or tell the little one not to touch her face.

    With adults, I guess I would just hold her close to you and hope they get the message!
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm usually wearing Dylan when we're out and people love to touch his feet if he doesn't have socks on. I guess I can't blame them, his feet are pretty darn cute, especially when they're the only thing hanging out of a wrap. I wouldn't like them to touch his face or even hands (because he sticks those in his mouth), but I haven't had it happen.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I only got that with old people and little kids. Unless the kid was especially snotty or grubby, I didn't worry too much. My daughter has always loved other children so it was fun for her. As for old people, it depends. I used to take my daughter to the nursing home pretty much everyday to visit my grandmother. I was pretty hardcore about NO TOUCHING unless it was someone I knew because a lot of these people could be violent (dementia) and you just never know.

    Now my daughter's old enough to tell people not to touch her or back away or whatever. If she's ever acted uncomfortable, I've asked people to back off. I'm nice about it unless they want to get snitty, but I don't care. Their feelings are not my priority and I've always wanted her to understand that it's ok to tell people not to touch you, to back away, etc.

    It may make your skin crawl a bit and I HATE being touched by other people so it's hard for me to loosen up but really, sometimes you have to get over yourself. We live in the world, y'know? People have to put up with a lot from random kids and the world in general might be more welcoming to children if we as parents didn't act like our Little Gifts are just too precious for the world to look upon them :happy5:

    That said, I always listen to my gut and if someone strikes me as weird or just off I don't mind saying something and I think it's a good thing.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I had my infant daughter in a sling and was waiting in line at an airport public restroom. A tiny old foreign woman came up to admire her, said something in her language, chucked her under the chin like old people do with babies, then she licked her own finger and made a cross sign on my daughter's forehead with her spit. I assume she was making some sort of blessing on my daughter...so I just smiled and she left and then I washed my baby's face. I didn't get all bent out of shape about it. I really think she meant well. I got more concerned about snotty sick little kids sticking their dirty fingers in my babies' faces. That will make them sick...but a little old lady's spit on a forehead...probably not a huge risk.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't worry about it as long as Lydia isn't bothered, and so far she's usually not.

    However, people like to touch her feet when I'm wearing her and she's sleeping, so then sometimes I say something. I might step away slightly and say in a playful voice, "Oh, she's trying to sleep right now." That doesn't happen so much anymore because she doesn't nap much while we're out.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I had my infant daughter in a sling and was waiting in line at an airport public restroom. A tiny old foreign woman came up to admire her, said something in her language, chucked her under the chin like old people do with babies, then she licked her own finger and made a cross sign on my daughter's forehead with her spit. I assume she was making some sort of blessing on my daughter...so I just smiled and she left and then I washed my baby's face. I didn't get all bent out of shape about it. I really think she meant well. I got more concerned about snotty sick little kids sticking their dirty fingers in my babies' faces. That will make them sick...but a little old lady's spit on a forehead...probably not a huge risk.

    Oh lordy, I would get woozy if someone spit on my child. I try to keep in mind that when people are trying to be nice, it's not good to freak out on them but that's really REALLY outside of my comfort zone.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    TO me, it's not as much about the chance of getting a disease as much as it is about respecting other people's personal space. I am very sensitive to people invading mine without being invited into it somehow. I get uncomfortable if people talking to me are closer than like 2 feet. If they were to get in my child's face, I would feel they are not only being disrespectful of his space, but if he is on me, also mine.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I never minded.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i didnt like strangers touching my pregnant belly and i dont like when strangers try to touch her now.
    when she was an infant and a stranger would try to touch her, i would just move her. its rude and like kaia said, disrespectful of personal space/boundaries.
    now that shes older, she bobs and weaves to avoid strangers touching her. shes the friendliest little person out there and loves to talk to anyone and everyone but when people reach out to touch her she usually moves so that they cant.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    I don't really like it much, but I try not to make a big deal about it. Most people are pretty harmless, and I give a wide berth to anyone who pings my "mommy" radar.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
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  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    i didnt like strangers touching my pregnant belly and i dont like when strangers try to touch her now.
    when she was an infant and a stranger would try to touch her, i would just move her. its rude and like kaia said, disrespectful of personal space/boundaries.
    now that shes older, she bobs and weaves to avoid strangers touching her. shes the friendliest little person out there and loves to talk to anyone and everyone but when people reach out to touch her she usually moves so that they cant.

    Same sentiments with Subrock and Kaia - it's an issue of personal space, not of me being so enamored of myself or my child (well, I am in love with my daughter - but that's besides the point). I'd have a problem with a stranger stroking and caressing my head/hair, I don't care how cute they think I am. And since my baby cannot assert herself, it is my job and obligation to defend her person and boundaries.
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    i didnt like strangers touching my pregnant belly and i dont like when strangers try to touch her now.
    when she was an infant and a stranger would try to touch her, i would just move her. its rude and like kaia said, disrespectful of personal space/boundaries.
    now that shes older, she bobs and weaves to avoid strangers touching her. shes the friendliest little person out there and loves to talk to anyone and everyone but when people reach out to touch her she usually moves so that they cant.

    Same sentiments with Subrock and Kaia - it's an issue of personal space, not of me being so enamored of myself or my child (well, I am in love with my daughter - but that's besides the point). I'd have a problem with a stranger stroking and caressing my head/hair, I don't care how cute they think I am. And since my baby cannot assert herself, it is my job and obligation to defend her person and boundaries.

    This is also how I feel. My baby isn't community property and a stranger doesn't need to just come up and start touching my kid. Ask me and I will probably say yes, but don't just assume.
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  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't like strange kids touching my baby or anything of the babies. As for adults, it all depends on the person and where they touch. If they touch her on the face and hands I usually wipe them down after they leave.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I don't mind. They do it because he's cute and he melts hearts. There's enough cruelty and pain in the world - it's nice to have strangers doing something positive like loving a baby.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    Amneris wrote: »
    I don't mind. They do it because he's cute and he melts hearts. There's enough cruelty and pain in the world - it's nice to have strangers doing something positive like loving a baby.

    Yeah, but they can do it from afar.
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    FieryCurls wrote: »
    Amneris wrote: »
    I don't mind. They do it because he's cute and he melts hearts. There's enough cruelty and pain in the world - it's nice to have strangers doing something positive like loving a baby.

    Yeah, but they can do it from afar.

    haha thats what i was thinking. it reminds me of those old commercials--please dont squeeze the charmin!
  • PoPo Posts: 2,607Registered Users
    It doesn't bother me at all. I'm a touchy-feely and so is my son. I don't touch other people's children because I know how some people are. My father is the guy that is always playing with little kids in the grocery store. He really doesn't mean any harm. He didn't grow up in the U.S., and as much as I try to tell him that people don't like it, he really doesn't get it.
    3c/4a
  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Amneris wrote: »
    I don't mind. They do it because he's cute and he melts hearts. There's enough cruelty and pain in the world - it's nice to have strangers doing something positive like loving a baby.

    I totally agree and was going to post the like. but was lazy haha. There is such a disconnect. Every now and then i try to smile at stangers. I get crazy looks.

    When I was pregnant, It weirded me out that people touched my belly. At first. And then I thought about the REASON. One time, in particular, stands out in my mind. I was waiting to be seated at a IHOP and this older lady walked up, placed both hands on my belly. I think I was seconds away from giving her a WTH look. Then she said "You are so blessed" and I looked into her eyes. It was so pure and sweet. I almost cried.

    Touch is a wonderful thing.

    Now, that being said, if it's just not comfortable for you, that's totally cool. I just wanted to say that I don't feel that touch is always a bad thing.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Strangers touching me can make me uncomfortable too sometimes, so as I said above if Lydia ever would seem uncomfortable, I would back away from a stranger. For example, if a friend wants to hold her and she shrinks away, I let her stay with me. I'm not going to force her to be held or hugged by people if she doesn't want to.

    I think touch tends to get a bad rap these days. Of course, awareness of how touch can go wrong is a good thing, but as some of the others pointed out, touch can be beautiful too.

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