CurlTalk

i don't want to be a size 6

fraufrau Posts: 6,130Registered Users
so of course i couldn't hold my tongue forever. so as my daughter is approaching size 16 (oh lawrd) i mentioned that she should go to the gym with me.

she explained that she knows she's gained weight but that she's happy as she is. that in high school no matter how thin she was she always thought she should be thinner. that yes, she knows she was 120lbs in her freshman year of college but that she doesn't like being that size. she likes her curves and she doesn't feel like she looks bad at all. she says she doesn't want to be a size 6.

:disgust:

i'm kind of speechless about the whole thing.
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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Leave her alone, Frau. It's her life and her body, and you need to butt out.
  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It's her life *shrug* if she's happy at her weight, leave her be about it. So long as she's living a healthy lifestyle and it's not causing her any issues, I don't see what the problem is.
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  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Leave her alone, Frau. It's her life and her body, and you need to butt out.

    At this point, Frau, you're making it impossible for her to lose weight, even if she'd like to. Maintaining her weight, or gaining, is probably something that she feels she needs to do in order to assert her self-respect and her independence from you. And I don't blame her. If what you've posted on this subject is accurate, you're not exactly being constructive.



    newcurly wrote:
    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    Hey everyone this was posted later on in the thread. Everyone keeps misinterpreting it and then getting really angry at newcurly. She's talking about weight, not size. More specifically, she is talking about a woman who is 5 feet tall and weighs 230 pounds, which is very obese. Just wanted to clear that up so we can get through the thread without repeatedly flaming a new member for no good reason.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    6.8..if+u+had+any+decency+u%5C%27d+delete+this+post+and+hide+the+proof+of+your+ugly%2C+ignorant+intolerance.png
    this won't go well...
    
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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  • sew and sewsew and sew Posts: 3,443Registered Users
    MimsTX wrote: »
    It's her life *shrug* if she's happy at her weight, leave her be about it. So long as she's living a healthy lifestyle and it's not causing her any issues, I don't see what the problem is.

    Agreed.
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  • Nappy_curly_crownNappy_curly_crown Posts: 4,162Registered Users
    6.8..if+u+had+any+decency+u%5C%27d+delete+this+post+and+hide+the+proof+of+your+ugly%2C+ignorant+intolerance.png
    this won't go well...
    


    Agreed. I can feel the trouble brewing.....
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  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    Clearly you've missed frau's other ramblings on her daughter's weight gain.

    As to the bolded...well, nevermind.

    Frau, leave your daughter alone. ITA that you're pretty much sabotaging this issue with her.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Frau,
    You need a size mind-your-own-business and stop advertising every few months what size your daughter wears.


    Yeah, you can post what you want and yes, we don't have to respond but enough is enough. Her life, her body.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    Yeah, it's definitely not healthy to have excessively high body fat.

    However, Frau's behavior toward her daughter, as documented on this board, is not healthy either.
  • 1Joy1Joy Posts: 355Registered Users
    Ok maybe I am about to get flamed but oh well. Am I hearing this correctly? A mom wants to make sure her daughter is healthy and people are telling her to "butt out". Are you kidding me? Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy. Studies show that by 2015, 75% of Americans will be overweight/obese! But nobody wants to discuss it openly and be honest with one another!? You did not encourage her to become a size 6. You are encouraging her to live a healthy lifestyle and know that whether she listens right now or not that you are planting seeds....they may blossom later and become full blooms of better choices.
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  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users
    I have missed Frau's other posts...so I guess that's why I don't understand the harsh responses. My first reaction after reading the OP is, well if your daughter is healthy (and yes someone can be healthy at a bigger size), then don't worry about it. Let her be.
    But it seems like this has been an on-going issue. Likely a bigger issue than what is on the surface here, so there's not going to be an easy answer.
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users
    She was 120lbs her freshman year in college and now she's a size 16?

    Has anyone gone over theory that she's at this weight to spite you? I mean, if she's college age, mid twenties, she could very well be at that stage in her life. And if you focused on this as much when she was in high school as you do now, she may feel free and independent enough to through it back into your face.
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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    This is not the first time Frau has posted about her daughter's weight.

    I say this with as much kindness as possible, but Frau, it should be none of your business what your daughter's weight or size is. Even if she's becoming overweight and you're concerned about her health, you can't make the decision for her to lose weight. It's her life and her body, and she is an adult who is responsible for herself.
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  • MiseMise Posts: 346Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

    Sorry, but unless you're a very short woman, I would never consider this is fat!
    Think I'm 3b-ish...maybe some 3a there too...plus wavy roots....I'm just a mixed bag!:D CG since August '05
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    1Joy wrote: »
    Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy.

    Believe me, you missed a hell of a lot. We get posts like this from Frau a few times a year, and they indicate some pretty cruel behavior on her part.

    I, for one, really hate it when people downplay the health risks of obesity, opting instead of a feel-good message. However, Frau is very concerned with her daughter's appearance. Self-hatred, and feeling justifiably angry toward your mom, do not promote healthy eating habits!
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    This was the only thread I could find, but clearly it's something that frau has brought up before:
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=22649&highlight=weight%2C+size%2C+daughter
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    1Joy wrote: »
    Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy.

    Believe me, you missed a hell of a lot. We get posts like this from Frau a few times a year, and they indicate some pretty cruel behavior on her part.

    I, for one, really hate it when people downplay the health risks of obesity, opting instead of a feel-good message. However, Frau is very concerned with her daughter's appearance.

    And I completely agree with this statement. The threads that frau starts about her daughters weight barely (if ever) touch on the health aspects of it and more focus on "being seen with her" and the like...how frau is so small and her daughter isn't and so on.

    I don't think that anyone here is downplaying obesity at all...I think that we are merely considering the source and the past threads on this very topic.
  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    Mise wrote: »
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.



    I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

    Sorry, but unless you're a very short woman, I would never consider this is fat!

    No, I said she was twice my WEIGHT, not twice my size. I'm 5'0" and weighed about 115 lbs (which is not THAT skinny). She was 5'0" and weighed 230.
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    So, going back and re-reading:

    You say:
    I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves."

    Then you say:
    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS."

    So, which is it? You can see how some admire their curves at a size 8, yet someone twice your size has fat rolls? Nice.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Mise wrote: »
    newcurly wrote: »
    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves."

    I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

    I think she meant weight, not size! If someone wears a size 4 at 115 pounds, then twice that weight is certainly obese (if we're not talking about a pro athlete etc. etc.).
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    No, I said she was twice my WEIGHT, not twice my size. I'm 5'0" and weighed about 115 lbs (which is not THAT skinny). She was 5'0" and weighed 230.

    Well I made my post on the subject without reading this post (hey and I guessed your weight accurately!!).

    Newcurly, I STRONGLY suggest that you edit your original post to highlight that you meant "weight." Otherwise, this entire thread will be people posting about how hateful you are.
  • wanderlustwanderlust Posts: 650Registered Users
    Mise wrote: »
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

    Sorry, but unless you're a very short woman, I would never consider this is fat!

    I'm glad I'm not the only one that was wondering about this. I'm a size 8, and yeah, I have a bit of extra padding, but I am not fat by a long shot and I ain't got rolls! Either you don't know what a size 8 really looks like and she is not a size 8, or you have a distorted view of her body.

    Anyway, I agree with the other posters that Frau you are probably making things worse....

    ETA: Newcurly, just saw your post. That makes more sense!
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  • battinlashbattinlash Posts: 1,850Registered Users
    Frau, you are right to be concerned and I think you should (gently) keep after your daughter. That's a big jump in weight and it's not healthy. Encourage her to eat better, ask her to go to the gym with you, etc. - show her you care without being mean. Maybe if more moms gave a crap about their kid's health, and their sizes, we wouldn't have 60 million obese people in the US.
  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Mise wrote: »
    newcurly wrote: »
    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves."

    I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

    I think she meant weight, not size! If someone wears a size 4 at 115 pounds, then twice that weight is certainly obese (if we're not talking about a pro athlete etc. etc.).

    That makes more sense.
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  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    ladyjag123 wrote:
    Either you don't know what a size 8 really looks like and she is not a size 8, or you have a distorted view of her body.

    Oh boy I'm right again HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

    A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

    thats the craziest thing ive read today. size 16 doesnt mean you have issues. thats like saying size 2 people have issues. theyre anorexic and malnutritioned. you can be a healthy 16. you dont even know how tall her daughter is. what if she were 5'11"??? and if someone loves their rolls, whats the problem with that (granted 200 lbs at 5'0" is a bit much, but a roll or two wont kill you)? being in the double digits in clothing isnt a death sentence.

    but anywho, frau leave that girl alone. the damage youre doing to her self esteem isnt worth it.
  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users
    On one level, I would agree with Battinlash; however, I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with your daughter. She might be rebelling and resenting you...if you've been on her case about this before. And from your avatar, you seem like a smaller size person...maybe a size 6 yourself?? Your daughter might need to lose weight. I just don't know how you can go about doing this, or if you should be doing anything about this. It might be one of those things that the more you push, the more she pulls away. Is there anyone else in her life that might can help her with this? Sometimes it's good to not look so involved.
    That's right, I said it! I wear scrunchies!!

    I am a sulfate washing, cone slabbing, curly lovin' s.o.b. The CG police haven't caught me yet.
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  • TrenellTrenell Posts: 3,562Registered Users
    battinlash wrote: »
    Frau, you are right to be concerned and I think you should (gently) keep after your daughter. That's a big jump in weight and it's not healthy. Encourage her to eat better, ask her to go to the gym with you, etc. - show her you care without being mean. Maybe if more moms gave a crap about their kid's health, and their sizes, we wouldn't have 60 million obese people in the US.

    I agree that she should take a more sensitive approach. From past posts it didn't appear as so. I can totally understand not wanting your child to become overweight.

    To the bold, it's not about parents not giving a crap. It's not understanding the ramifications of a unhealthy lifestyle or not knowing how to BE healthy. And gaining that much much over such a short span of time in not healthy. Yes, many people gain the freshman 15. That doesn't mean it's good.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    size 16 doesnt mean you have issues...you dont even know how tall her daughter is. what if she were 5'11"???

    While I agree that you can't guess someone's health based on their clothing size alone...I think it's safe to assume that Frau's daughter isn't an extremely tall powerlifter.