CurlTalk

If someone classified you average looking

hipchickhipchick Posts: 350Registered Users
would you be offended? I think my youth made me more attractive and now as time has passed I have become more average looking. Is it okay to you to be considered average looking? What exactly is average looking? I think average is kind of flexible as if you put in the mix nice clothes, good grooming and confidence and it can bump you up to a higher level. It still seems even in the modern age there is much pressure on women to be attractive and a woman's value and status is still linked to the amount of beauty she possesses. That is not the case with all people but I do think our world has become more shallow.
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Comments

  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Posts: 983Registered Users
    most people are average looking. very few people are truly ugly or truly beautiful in my opinion.

    so being called average looking wouldnt offend me
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,258Registered Users
    Average is a big bell curve. Very few on the ugly and beautiful ends. Even those on the beautiful end of the spectrum don't get to stay there forever. We all end up ugly in the end.

    That said, I do think there are a lot of things one can do through grooming to get more towards the beautiful end.
  • Fuschia DreamsFuschia Dreams Posts: 38Registered Users
    It's all subjective, right? (or at least I hope)
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    This reminds me of 2 sisters I met when I was 16. They were cousins of one of my friends & they were a year apart. One was drop dead gorgeous & the other one was average. The gorgeous one didn't feel she had to work for anything, so her attitude & personality actually made her less attractive. The more average looking sister had a great sense of humour & everyone wanted to be around her. They were visiting for the Summer & the average one had more boys asking her out.

    I have met men that at 1st I wasn't attracted to, but once we talked & his personality came out I was very attracted. I think that's why I can't do the online dating. Pictures are not the true self of the real person.

    Hey, I love Richard Dreyfus. Most people would say he is average, but his personality (in his movies) makes him hot to me.

    Did someone say you were just average?
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • hipchickhipchick Posts: 350Registered Users
    Well they didn't exacty say I was average. I was having a downer looks day and they said most people are average and I perceived that to mean I was average. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and average is okay I suppose. We really need to have a steady, strong, positive sense of self as our looks do keep changing.
  • CurlyEyesCurlyEyes Posts: 2,983Registered Users
    If someone classified me as average-looking, I'd punch them in the face.

    Not because I don't agree (most people are average, that's why it's called average) but because that's really rude.

    I think that average-looking's a really broad range; one person's idea of average is gorgeous to someone else.
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  • chicagocurly78chicagocurly78 Posts: 463Registered Users
    Depends on how it was said. I remember feeling crappy after a guy I really liked told me I was the average girl- next-door. He said that to me right after he described his best friend's girlfriend - she was Scarlett Johannessen's (sp) long lost twin.
  • MimsTXMimsTX Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Not everyone can be 'gorgeous'. It's the average people that sets them apart :) I'd say I'm quite average looking, and I'm perfectly fine with it, but I can see how going from above average to average would come as a bit of a shock to someone.

    The person's comment didn't sound like they were calling you average to me though. I wouldn't worry about it too much. To the right person, even the most average woman is beautiful anyways :)
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    Depends on how it was said. I remember feeling crappy after a guy I really liked told me I was the average girl- next-door. He said that to me right after he described his best friend's girlfriend - she was Scarlett Johannessen's (sp) long lost twin.

    Men are so into the looks & sex appeal at 1st, but these relationships usually don't last, because these women have no substance. I wouldn't worry about what these losers are attracted to.

    Above average looks don't usually keep a relationship together. It has more to do with who you & he are in the inside.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    I had used my computer to hook up one of my friends for a date from AOL personals. com. She wanted me to go with her. The guy decided he would bring his cousin along so I wouldn't be the 3rd wheel. He emailed me a pic of him & I wasn't interested at all. When we met & talked I was really interested in him. We were together for 3 years. Looks are 50% & personality is 50%.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    I don't think I'd really value the opinion of someone who just up and decided to "classify" my looks (or anything else) in any way. It's one thing for someone to pay you a compliment but quite another to just offer up the info, "Oh, btw, you're average, hth!" Who does that.

    However, it sounds like you were fishing for compliments and no one took the bait. Maybe they didn't know what you needed to hear or maybe "hey, most people are average" sounded reassuring in their head. Or maybe they are like me and they just don't react well to fishing. If you're honestly having a bad day and you need to hear something good about yourself, ask a GOOD friend and TELL them...hey, I need to hear somthing good! Even my cold, dead heart could come up with the right thing to say!
  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    i was actually looking at images today for a marketing campain and was talking about average looking people.

    nothing wrong with looking average - some people consider average to mean a 'commercial' look vs. exotic high fashion. average tends to be more approachable - and if someone in marketing says to you that they highed you for your looks because you were average - it's because you look approachable.

    *takes a breath.*

    to me there's a difference between average and ugly.
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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    I don't think I'd really value the opinion of someone who just up and decided to "classify" my looks (or anything else) in any way. It's one thing for someone to pay you a compliment but quite another to just offer up the info, "Oh, btw, you're average, hth!" Who does that.

    However, it sounds like you were fishing for compliments and no one took the bait. Maybe they didn't know what you needed to hear or maybe "hey, most people are average" sounded reassuring in their head. Or maybe they are like me and they just don't react well to fishing. If you're honestly having a bad day and you need to hear something good about yourself, ask a GOOD friend and TELL them...hey, I need to hear somthing good! Even my cold, dead heart could come up with the right thing to say!

    You know, I really hate to say this :sad6:, but ITA with you.

    On another note, if you are insecure with your looks or maybe feel the need to be encouraged that you are above average, then your friends will probably not see you as above average.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,937Registered Users
    You know, I really hate to say this :sad6:, but ITA with you.

    I know, I know. It's uncomfortable at first but they all come to the dark side sooner or later.
  • M2LRTooM2LRToo Posts: 446Registered Users
    CGNYC wrote: »
    You know, I really hate to say this :sad6:, but ITA with you.
    I know, I know. It's uncomfortable at first but they all come to the dark side sooner or later.

    Resistance is futile. I eventually caved. ;)
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    :angryfire: I'm going to burn in hell.:laughing5:
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Everyone wants to be thought of as better-than-average in looks. I would be a little hurt if someone said I was average-looking. Although if I'm honest with myself, I probably am. I like to think that I'm on the high end of average, and I try to put an effort into looking decent.

    I love Lotsa's story about the two sisters. Even if someone is not movie-star gorgeous, they can surely make the most of what they have and cultivate their personal qualities to be very attractive to others.
    ehLB.jpg
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,494Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    if someone called me average, i'd be happy - but i think i'm grossly ugly, so there you go.
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  • hipchickhipchick Posts: 350Registered Users
    I think the big issue around average being a negative is that it might mean that you are not "special" but simply ordinary. Of course we can be special in many other ways but I still think for women in our society beauty, femininity,value, power and status are all intertwined. The media unfortunately reinforces these connecting elements.
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    Lotsawaves wrote: »
    I had used my computer to hook up one of my friends for a date from AOL personals. com. She wanted me to go with her. The guy decided he would bring his cousin along so I wouldn't be the 3rd wheel. He emailed me a pic of him & I wasn't interested at all. When we met & talked I was really interested in him. We were together for 3 years. Looks are 50% & personality is 50%.

    This is so true. Although I am very shallow and like good looking men (handsome, pretty, it all works), if intelligence, personality and confidence aren't present, the looks are wasted in my view (unless I'm looking at GQ). I feel about the same for women although have known beautiful or stunning women to get over on their looks and not have to work as hard, being paid lots of attention socially and at work, etc.. But your other story about how beauty can affect personality tells that story well. And age does have a way of equalizing at least female beauty and male beauty too (think Redford). Best of all is beauty plus smarts, kindness, personality = the complete package.
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

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  • PigletPiglet Posts: 1,451Registered Users
    rouquinne wrote: »
    if someone called me average, i'd be happy - but i think i'm grossly ugly, so there you go.


    I've seen your pic and you are WRONG wrong wrong.
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  • katieheinekenkatieheineken Posts: 15Registered Users
    A person's looks is very subjective. Someone who is average looking to one person can be beautiful to another. Who really decides what makes a person ugly, average or beautiful? Society? The media? I think there are more factors that go into a person's "beauty" than just their looks. My boyfriend, for example, would not be considered above average looking, but to me he's extremely attractive because of his personality.
  • Dancing QueenDancing Queen Posts: 247Registered Users
    I think anyone whose opinion I value won't care what I look like, because they'll know me well enough to look beneath the surface.
    Psalm 30:11 "You have turned my mourning into dancing."

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  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 8,660Registered Users
    I once dated a man who none of my friends or family thought was attractive at all. He was losing his hair, was overweight & had bad teeth. I found him to be the sexiest man I had ever dated. He had charisma. My friends thought I had lost my mind, but when he would walk into the room, my knees would go weak.

    I also had a male friend who when I first met him thought his looks were below average. He was a chick magnet. I even found myself drawn to him after I was around him more. One day we went to lunch & he told me that women are attracted to men who are sexy & confident. Men are attracted to women who have these same qualities. He said a woman can be overweight & not that attractive, but it's the way she carries herself & in her actions. Men also like a woman who can laugh & has a positive attitude.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Piglet wrote: »
    rouquinne wrote: »
    if someone called me average, i'd be happy - but i think i'm grossly ugly, so there you go.


    I've seen your pic and you are WRONG wrong wrong.
    ITA
    And I'm sure Cam would agree..
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • wanderlustwanderlust Posts: 650Registered Users
    hipchick wrote: »
    I think the big issue around average being a negative is that it might mean that you are not "special" but simply ordinary.

    I definitely think that this is true of myself. I feel like if I am not extraordinary in most of the things that I do, then I am nothing and there is no point. This is something that I have recently learned of myself and is the one thing that holds me back from achieving my true potential because I am afraid of failure.

    Back to the looks thing though, I KNOW that I am not beautiful, and no one other than my husband has ever told me that I am. I honestly think that I am on the high end of ugly. Most people would probably consider me average, but it really doesn’t matter. Since I am not beautiful, to me, average means nothing and I may as well be ugly, so that is what I consider myself. I don’t use this same standard when judging other people and when it comes to others, I definitely have a very broad standard for beauty and most of the people that I have met in my life fit into it (unless they have a nasty attitude). Somehow I cannot apply that same standard to myself. I try not to think about my looks and I don’t fish for compliments. If someone tells me that I am beautiful I assume they are lying and I think I’d be hurt if someone described me as average, although I think I’m ugly. I know…it’s strange and confusing.
    Formerly ladyjag123
  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users
    While agree with what has been said- most people are average- very few people are what I would consider beautiful or ugly, and that different people find different looks attractive, I do have to say that saying 'you are average' to someone's face isn't particularly polite or kind. It is quite a dismissive word when it is said like that. Yes, most of us are just average, but each of us have something about us that is beautiful/attractive. A good friend, or simply a kind person wouldn't say to someone 'you're average' they would say, 'you have beautiful eyes' or a 'lovely face structure'. I cannot be around people who deliberately make people feel self conscience about themselves- we get enough of that from the media industry. Making people feel happy/special about themselves isn't hard to do- just a few little words will set someone on a high for the day.

    So for me personally, yes, I would be a little upset if someone said that to me, even though I know I am no beauty. If you cannot find anything redeeming about someone- why comment on them at all?
  • SpunkyCurlsSpunkyCurls Posts: 1,523Registered Users
    I wouldn't feel offended because not everyone is attracted to the same person/look (and thank goodness for that!) There will be people who think you are beautiful or love you for the entire package and there will be people who just aren't attracted to you.


    It almost sounds like you're looking for acceptance from someone else or maybe there's more to the story in that you might want this person to like you?
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  • nadinanadina Posts: 640Registered Users
    CE wrote: »
    If someone classified me as average-looking, I'd punch them in the face.

    Not because I don't agree (most people are average, that's why it's called average) but because that's really rude.

    my thoughts exactly. to me that's a euphemism, for, hey, you're not cute. i don't get offended when someone tries to insult my looks though, i feel confident enough to brush it off for the most part. i totally laugh if someone calls me ugly, cause it's just not true. :glasses7:
  • TwoMoonsTwoMoons Posts: 754Registered Users
    I wouldn't mind at all. I used to be called ugly in Junior High which is WAY worse than being considered average looking. It's weird how much confidence can turn someone seen as undesirable beautiful.
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