My child is 2 and still doesn't say "no" yet. Should I be worried?

Yes, Still PaulaYes, Still Paula Posts: 485Registered Users
Upon my daughter's recent 2-year-old pediatric checkup, I happened to bring up the subject that she doesn't actually say the word "no." But, she does say a lot of other words and even a couple of phrases...probably a typical amount for her age. Just that the word "no" is not a part of her vocabulary yet. She doesn't respond well to "no" either, although I think that's part of going through the terrible 2's and that she insists on being naughty sometimes. But, she does say "uh oh", "wow", etc. and has a clear understand of what these words mean.

Because of the fact that she isn't saying "no" yet and isn't really combining words together to make sentences yet (ex: "mommy...milk!...and instead she goes "milk milk milk" when she wants some)....her pediatrician suggested that I take her to a neurologist to check for possible autism just to make sure there's nothing wrong with her.

I was going to take her just for the hey of it, but since the neurologist is located way out of my area in a large city and it would be quite a hassle to take her there, I'm not going to bother. Apparently there isn't one that's local that accepts our insurance.

Am I making a mistake to NOT take her? Does it sound like something is indeed wrong with my daughter? When I asked her pediatrician what percent of 2-year-olds tend to say "no" once they turn 2, he told me about 80 to 90 percent do by now (as I figured....)

All honest feedback is welcome.

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    From what you are saying here...that she communicates appropriately, I wouldn't take her. Unless you feel there is something wrong, then, of course, take her.

    Have you tried teaching her the specific word "no"? Can she repeat it? Why are you in such a hurry for the no word?

    My oldest son didn't speak at all til he was 3. He communicated in grunts and points. This was back before everyone was so autism-trigger-happy so the ped treated it as no big deal. He started speaking in full sentences with perfect pronunciation at age 3. He's grown up fine (he's 22 now), with no residual effects of not speaking those first 3 years. I think he was just too busy to talk before then.
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    My first daughter didn't really talk until well into her 2nd year. I taught her lots of signs and that is how we communicated for a long time. In fact she still signs some things as she says them.

    You said your daugther can and does say other things, that is good. "No" is definitely on my list of words I would rather not hear for as long as possible. icon12.gif

    But if you are worried, and if it will put your mind at ease, take her.
  • WurlyLoxWurlyLox Posts: 4,858Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Unless you have some other reason to think something's wrong, I say enjoy it while you can. She'll learn it all too well soon enough, LOL!
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    I agree with RCW - it sounds like she is communicating with you appropriately.

    My son didn't speak more than 10 words before age 2, and then suddenly took off. I think that speech is need-based. If kids are satisfied communicating in other ways, then there isn't much motivation for them to talk.
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    If she's communicating with you fine then I wouldn't worry about it. But if your going to worry over this decision then I would take her just so you can relieve the worry.

    I know I got very tired of hearing Chas say No. Chas' vocabulary didn't explode until he had ear tubes. She hasn't had a lot of ear infections or water on her hers has she??
  • WurlyLoxWurlyLox Posts: 4,858Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Sometimes if there's an older sibling, they'll let them do a lot of their communicating . . . .
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  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    That's it? Just not saying the word "no?" Be thankful. My daughter started saying it a month ago. She even says it when she has every intention of complying. :clown:

    Has your daughter been developmentally delayed in other areas? Does she wave bye-bye? Does she point? Does she call out to you by saying mommy, mama, etc...? Does she look at you when you talk to her?

    I just wish doctors wouldn't scare people with throwing out the Autism word. They make it sound like a death sentence and it's certainly not. It's a spectrum disorder, so there are many levels of functioning. Speech therapy is invaluable and can yield quick results. Also, a slight speech delay is not always an indicator of Autism.

    My husband, like RCW's son, did not speak for 3 years. His first words were a complete sentence: "gimme peanut butter jelly sammich."

    But I am a big advocate of "follow your gut." If you are concerned, take her in for an evaluation. I followed my gut with my son and it's the best thing I ever did for him.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I'm a speech pathologist and I work almost exclusively with children under the age of 5. I'm going to agree with everything Medussa said and add that the questions she asked in her post are what I look at when I evaluate a child. There are a fair amount of late talkers, but late talking doesn't necessarily indicate an autism spectrum disorder or even a clinically significant speech delay. If you are concerned but not inclined to go to the neurologist just yet, why don't you pursue an Early Intervention evaluation. In my state, that means a team of early childhood specialists (teacher or psychologist, speech psthologist, maybe a motor therapist) will evaluate the child and produce a comprehensive report that includes recommendations for any therapy services or referrals that are necessary.
  • SigiSigi Posts: 2,379Registered Users
    My second son was speech delayed. He never cooed or babbled as a baby. Never made a peep (unless he was mad), so we got a referral to an early intervention program where he received developmental and speech therapy. By his 3rd birthday he was speaking.
  • Yes, Still PaulaYes, Still Paula Posts: 485Registered Users
    Thanks everyone so much for the feedback. And, to answer's Medussa's key questions....my daughter does in fact wave bye-bye, points, says "momma", looks me in the eye when I speak to her, etc. So...I guess all these things are good signs then, huh?
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    medussa wrote: »
    She even says it when she has every intention of complying. :clown:

    I have one of those, too. My brother swears that was the only word he heard her say for at least a year.
    Him: "Do you want ice cream." Her, "No." Puzzled look on face, then "Yeeeessss" throws herself down in tantrum. Thanks dear brother for torturing her. (she does it for me, too.)
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Posts: 996Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I am really glad this came up and thankful for Medussa and Cosmic's thoughtful replies. We have Harry's 18 month appointment next week, and he only has 2 real words, Mama and Dada. Otherwise, he has sounds he makes that we know are words and does really well with signs. He also babbles a lot and waves, makes eye contact and GREAT comprehension (we've been spelling certain things for a while now). I waiver between being concerned and thinking that he's just taking his time. We might do the EI evaluation, because it couldn't hurt and might help.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    This is a sensitive subject w/ me.
    Definitely do an eval if you feel it is warranted. What would it hurt, right? :)
    You don't want the child to be behind then have to catch up, you know?
    Go w/ your gut. Mine has never steered me wrong.
    Mine didn't say no for a long time...of course, now has made up for it big time! lol
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i think everyone has given great advice. my little girl doesnt say the words "no" or "yes" but shakes or nods her head instead. i never tell her no (i tell her no, i just dont use the word "no"), so im guessing thats why she doesnt say it.

    but anyway, if your child is meeting all the other developmental milestones, then youre probably fine. i remember my sister being in major denial about her youngest son and didnt acknowledge that he had any sort of developmental delays until at least 2 or 3 yrs later. he was eventually diagnosed as autistic. but even before he was one he showed a significant signs that something was going on.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    I love the moms on this board. You are all so wise and reassuring. I think I remember having a big freak out on here when my son wasn't crawling yet and you all helped me put it in perspective....and before long he was crawling and then walking, and I missed the days when I could set him down somewhere and he would stay there.

    I agree with listening to your instincts as a mom. My son also just turned 2, and I've worried occasionally about his talking. He knows a lot of words, but he hasn't used two-word sentences and phrases very much yet. But when I look at the big picture, he can communicate, he's learning more words all the time, and he's (I think) advanced in some areas, like he knows and can identify most of the alphabet, capital letters at least.

    As for using the word "no," he was another one who liked it so much he used it all the time, even when he clearly meant yes. Example: "Connor, do you want a cookie?" He'd say, "No!" as he was reaching for it. Kids can have such a wide variation in their development and not have anything wrong.
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  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    Paula, how does she let you know she doesn't want something/ doesn't want to do something? Honestly,from your answers to Medussa's questions, it doesn't seem like an autism spectrum disorder is likely, but I've obviously never seen her and I can't make a medical diagnosis.

    To encourage her to combine words, show her how, in little steps. For example, if she says milk, you can model "want milk" or "milk please". She may or may not imitate right away, but she's more likely to process the little chunk and have an aha! moment sooner.

    Fuzzbucket, does Harry say his 'words' the same way every time? When he babbles, is he making different sounds or the same ones over and over? Your description makes him sound like a good communicator, albeit mostly nonverbal. When he signs, do you say the word back to him? That's what I do with the kids I treat and also with Aidan. If he's signing to other people (including you), he's got two important prelinguistic skills: communicative intent and symbolic communication.
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Posts: 996Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    cosmicfly wrote: »
    Fuzzbucket, does Harry say his 'words' the same way every time? When he babbles, is he making different sounds or the same ones over and over? Your description makes him sound like a good communicator, albeit mostly nonverbal. When he signs, do you say the word back to him? That's what I do with the kids I treat and also with Aidan. If he's signing to other people (including you), he's got two important prelinguistic skills: communicative intent and symbolic communication.

    His "words" are the same every time and have been for months. Every time he says them, we say back the correct word. Same when he signs; we always say the word. If we ask him to say (sign) "more, please" he will do it (unless having a meltdown). His babbling has gotten quite varied over the last month or two. It used to be just the same sounds (diddle da, mostly) over and over, but he is using more varied vowels and consonants now. That is why we waited to do the eval. They can still take off on their own at this age. His doctor suggested an eval at 15 months because he wasn't saying Mama, but said there was no harm in waiting to 18 months. Since then, he's gained "Mama" and a lot of new sounds and signs. I'm still leaning towards doing it, since it may help me and DH learn new ways to encourage new sounds with him.
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  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    An eval can't hurt and it will probably be fun for him. Your description of him makes me think he won't qualify for therapy (but it's possible), but you're right in thinking you'll be able to get specific suggestions from the evaluators. Obviously, I've never met him, but I think the fact that he's begun to make more sounds and that his word approximations are always the same are pretty strong indicators that he's about to take off.

    On another note, I'm glad your dr. is on top of these developmental milestones. So many peds blow off parents' concerns.
  • Yes, Still PaulaYes, Still Paula Posts: 485Registered Users
    cosmicfly wrote: »
    Paula, how does she let you know she doesn't want something/ doesn't want to do something? Honestly,from your answers to Medussa's questions, it doesn't seem like an autism spectrum disorder is likely, but I've obviously never seen her and I can't make a medical diagnosis.

    To encourage her to combine words, show her how, in little steps. For example, if she says milk, you can model "want milk" or "milk please". She may or may not imitate right away, but she's more likely to process the little chunk and have an aha! moment sooner.

    Fuzzbucket, does Harry say his 'words' the same way every time? When he babbles, is he making different sounds or the same ones over and over? Your description makes him sound like a good communicator, albeit mostly nonverbal. When he signs, do you say the word back to him? That's what I do with the kids I treat and also with Aidan. If he's signing to other people (including you), he's got two important prelinguistic skills: communicative intent and symbolic communication.


    Hi cosmicfly, she usually points to things when she wants them. She also holds my hand to try to "drag" me to wherever she wants to go. Although she hasn't put 2 words together on her own, she sure babbles a lot of things I don't understand and I've clearly heard her repeat "peanut butter" and own her own "wild, wild west' (which she's overheard numerous times from watching Elmo). Elmo is of course her favorite word. Last time we counted before she turned 2, we figured that she was able to say about 40 to 50 words. I'm sure she says more by now.

    Well, I'm not so worried anymore, but if I can find a neurologist in our town who accepts our Blue Cross insurance (you would think that wouldn't be so hard...), then I might take her for the heck of it. But, I'm not in a hurry just yet and I feel I can wait till she's closer to 3 and see how much she progressed first.
  • curlygirlymecurlygirlyme Posts: 1,340Registered Users
    Paula

    My daughter isn't much older than yours and we got her an eval and she was delayed (this was around her 2 b-day). Since then we've figured out that new, exciting experiences bring out the talker in her, talking about things that her excite her helps her learn more words, and we got a lot of tips from her speech pathologist that helped us a lot.

    I think an eval helped us, and she is doing a lot better now (her new favorite thing to say is "drive fast" LOL). Try new things and get creative, it just might help. Good Luck.
  • Yes, Still PaulaYes, Still Paula Posts: 485Registered Users
    Thanks again everyone. Just wanted to add that I got her to repeat after me when I said "no" earlier tonight (because I kept repeating it over and over, though I use it on a daily basis). Of course, she repeated after me and said "doe" "doe" so obviously she was trying to say it. I just hope she understands it. Well, I know I've seen her shake her head "no" in the past (though not frequently when she actually didn't want something) so she appears to have a concept of the word.

    Funny...like I said earlier she says "wow" and "uh oh" frequently" and even "oooh oooh" when her finger gets hurt and she comes to me to kiss it.

    Thanks curlygirlyme, at this point I would consider looking into a possible speech delay she could have before possible autism, if anything at all. But...all in all I do think it's too soon.

    Maybe I should have a better understanding of "baby talk"- no? She just might be saying more than I can understand!
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Paula, also try playing lots music, singing and reading to your daughter. Check your local library for music programs or Mother-Goose classes for tots. Also, talk to your daughter about everything you're doing and think out loud whenever you can.

    My 18 month-old has an extensive vocabulary, even though her articulation needs improvement (which is normal). Matthew is "attyu." I love you is, "I la loo." I want yogurt is, "I wa go-go." She also babbles a lot. It's like she's trying to have a conversation; talking without real words. My daughter has two older siblings who are outgoing and talk non-stop. But I also take her to library programs 3 times a week, where there's a strong emphasis on reading and singing/dancing. And it helps that I don't shut up, either. I'm always talking to her. I even tell her when I'm going to the bathroom and why. :lol:

    With regard to an evaluation, it's fine to take a wait-and-see approach. I think once you spend enough time around your daughter's peers (is she in any playgroups?), you'll get a better sense of what's typical for your daughter's stage of development. If at that point, you still have concerns, get the evaluation.

    By the way, you should not have to pay for an evaluation or have to drive out of town to see a neurologist. Many states provide free services up until the age of 3, when the school district takes over. The summer my son turned two, an evaluator came to my home and tested my son. Within a few weeks, there was a speech therapist coming to my home twice a week for almost a year. Same for a friend of mine (whose daughter had a speech delay). You might want to look into that if you want to get an evaluation for peace of mind.
  • AprilnUtahAprilnUtah Posts: 519Registered Users Curl Novice
    I just wanted to say that all kids are different and progress in different areas at their own pace. It doesn't mean something is wrong with them if they're behind the curve on something. Let your kid be who they are and progress at their own rate and they'll be fine.
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  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    My DS didn't say "No" for the longest time...he did, however, shake his head. So he was still saying no, but through his gestures.

    Does your DD do this?

    It sounds like she is doing just fine. Eventually, there'll be a day when she starts talking and doesn't stop.
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  • Yes, Still PaulaYes, Still Paula Posts: 485Registered Users
    My DS didn't say "No" for the longest time...he did, however, shake his head. So he was still saying no, but through his gestures.

    Does your DD do this?

    It sounds like she is doing just fine. Eventually, there'll be a day when she starts talking and doesn't stop.

    Hi...yes...she's shaken her head "no" infrequently in the past, so at least she's done it before. Just that I haven't seen it much lately. Oh well...I guess the day will come when I will wish she'll stop saying no :shock:
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    Then she's probably fine - she knows what it means.

    Now I'm working on getting DS to say "No thank you" He says it about 75 percent of the time. It's a little easier to tolerate when he's being polite.
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