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How to deal with a REALLY painful break up?

egyptiancurls89egyptiancurls89 Posts: 607Registered Users
any advice? i'm dying over here :sad10:
3B~Fine, porus, and really long
HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB :toothy10:
:farao:Proud To Be Egyptian!
"Your head is like a crown on you.
It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
I am captured by your flowing curls."
Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
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Comments

  • cyndicyndi Posts: 3,341Registered Users
    Honestly, there's now way to "deal." I've learned that you just have to keep going.
    I think that I deceive genius.:happy10:
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    Sorry to hear about your breakout...:sad10:

    Did you break up with the older guy?
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • egyptiancurls89egyptiancurls89 Posts: 607Registered Users
    Windflower wrote: »
    Sorry to hear about your breakout...:sad10:

    Did you break up with the older guy?


    yep :sad10:
    3B~Fine, porus, and really long
    HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB :toothy10:
    :farao:Proud To Be Egyptian!
    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
  • NarniaNarnia Posts: 1,770Registered Users
    Sorry :( I WISH there was a potion to make the pain go away, but there isn't. The cliche is true, time heals all wounds.
    "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Unfortunately, no matter all the ways your brain can rationalize a break-up, it never really helps your heart feel any better. And there's no specified amount of time either. I'm sorry. :(
    Just do things that make you feel good. Cry if you want to, as much as you want to, but once you've done that, occupy your time with something you love. It's good to keep the mind from being idle when you're dealing with a break-up.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    I'm so sorry you're hurting.
  • hmkennyhmkenny Posts: 1,409Registered Users Curl Novice
    any advice? i'm dying over here :sad10:

    So, so sorry you're hurting. That really sucks. I only had one bad, heartbreaking breakup. It hurt so bad for a long time but I felt much better after taking a vacation by myself. Is that a possiblity? Other than that, allow yourself to mourn the relationship and spend some quality time with your girlfriends. Keep busy. Read a lot. Take up running (the endorphins give you some relief from the trauma of the breakup). Keep busy. When you're feeling really bad, just tell yourself that it will get better, 'cause it will.
    3a/medium texture/normal porosity
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    I Googled "break ups" and found some online advice which helped me when I went through it. And a lot of people on NC were very supportive.

    And....I spent more time with one of my dogs, the one who most enjoys sleeping beside me.

    I hope you're okay :)
  • curlylew66curlylew66 Posts: 1,685Registered Users
    We are here for you.
    And most of us have been thru it. Some on both sides.
    Hurts being broken up with and hurts ending it sometimes with someone.

    Just remember you will always have friends and family and you won't ever be alone.
    Keeping busy was key for me.
  • SpiderSpider Posts: 3,380Registered Users
    Sorry you're sad and hurting. My only advice is to appreciate the lessons you might have learned from this person/relationship but realize things happen for a reason, and better things await you.

    Just don't rush things if you don't feel like it, surround yourself with loved ones and take each day at a time.
    Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

    Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself. A good book, a massage, making over your bedroom (for your new, future lover, hehe), a movie... even if it makes you sob, it's less tears you have for DUDE.

    Time and self-care, egyptiancurls. Unfortunately there's no magic pill to take. God I wish there was!!!
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    Discover the art of distraction and a fabulous bottle of wine.
    2b/3a.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    I am sorry that you're hurting. It's true, time heals all wounds and keep on keepin' on. :)

    ((hugs))
    :rambo:
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    meryn wrote: »
    My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

    Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself. A good book, a massage, making over your bedroom (for your new, future lover, hehe), a movie... even if it makes you sob, it's less tears you have for DUDE.

    Time and self-care, egyptiancurls. Unfortunately there's no magic pill to take. God I wish there was!!!
    :lol:
    I think curlylew said it best...we are here for you! His loss...(((hugs)))
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,499Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    meryn wrote: »
    My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

    Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself.

    to be honest, i don't think i was over Drew until last weekend with Cameron. and it will be YEARS before i am completely over Drew. if i'm really lucky, 6 more months of madly passionate sex with Cam will have me saying "drew who"...

    :(
    My blog:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Flabellatestarossa.blogspot.ca%2F" class="Popup

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • EternitycurlsEternitycurls Posts: 337Registered Users
    I find the best way is to cry it out then start to organize your life to keep busy. Clean/organize your living space. Set out some health, fitness and life goals. Find something to look forward too.

    Get back into a routine that doesn't involve him. Change the ring tone on your cell phone so that when it rings it doesn't remind you of him. Hide reminders. Call friends/family and confess you are sad and need help getting through it.

    Another thing that has helped me before is to make a list of what you don't want in a boyfriend. One that includes all the bad or negative stuff he did. Only start the sentences with " I really want a boyfriend who... "For examples
    I really want a boyfriend who never calls on time
    I really want a boyfriend who leaves my apartment messy.
    I really want a boyfriend who breaks my heart.
    Sounds silly but reading it when you miss him will remind you of all the things you won't miss about him and all the things that you really don't want in your next boyfriend.
  • sharon5152sharon5152 Posts: 207Registered Users
    Sorry you're hurting so...surround yourself with nurturing people and do things to nurture yourself--a bubble bath, facial, a massage can do wonders for a stressed out body and heart. Take care...
    3a/b
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    Co-wash/Condish: Curls Coconut Sublime Moisturizing Conditioner
    LI & Styling: KBB milk, CJ Beauticurls LI, CJ Coffee-Coco Curl Lite cream, CJ CIAB
    DT: CJ Hibiscus & Banana Deep Fix, Shea Butter

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fsharon5152%2F" class="Popup
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    rouquinne wrote: »
    to be honest, i don't think i was over Drew until last weekend with Cameron. and it will be YEARS before i am completely over Drew. if i'm really lucky, 6 more months of madly passionate sex with Cam will have me saying "drew who"...

    :(

    :love2:

    In my heart and thoughts, A.
  • Naveed00Naveed00 Posts: 193Registered Users
    I agree that it helps a lot to keep busy and do things you enjoy. This way you can think to yourself, "who needs men? Life is fun with OR without them." :thumbup:
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    meds
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    meryn wrote: »
    rouquinne wrote: »
    to be honest, i don't think i was over Drew until last weekend with Cameron. and it will be YEARS before i am completely over Drew. if i'm really lucky, 6 more months of madly passionate sex with Cam will have me saying "drew who"...

    :(

    :love2:

    In my heart and thoughts, A.

    Couldn't respond to the PM, rou.
    You deserve nothing less.

    xxoo, me.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    I find the best way is to cry it out then start to organize your life to keep busy. Clean/organize your living space. Set out some health, fitness and life goals. Find something to look forward too.

    Get back into a routine that doesn't involve him. Change the ring tone on your cell phone so that when it rings it doesn't remind you of him. Hide reminders. Call friends/family and confess you are sad and need help getting through it.

    Another thing that has helped me before is to make a list of what you don't want in a boyfriend. One that includes all the bad or negative stuff he did. Only start the sentences with " I really want a boyfriend who... "For examples
    I really want a boyfriend who never calls on time
    I really want a boyfriend who leaves my apartment messy.
    I really want a boyfriend who breaks my heart.
    Sounds silly but reading it when you miss him will remind you of all the things you won't miss about him and all the things that you really don't want in your next boyfriend.


    This is fantastic advice, IMO.
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    To me, breakups happen for a reason.

    Having people who truly love you and ALWAYS will around makes it better.


    I remember my most painful breakup - we had been discussing possible wedding venues, and time of year, etc. It was very serious. But when we broke up, I told one of my friends I hadn't seen in a while and she responded "I can't get there until the weekend, but if you need me there, I'll go book a ticket now."

    That was when I realized he never truly loved me. He wouldn't have been there for me like that when I needed him, but this friend I hadn't seen in a long time would have, because she truly did love me.

    It just made it so easier to realize how much energy I had for the people who DID love me, now that it wasn't being sucked up by someone who didn't.

    Just realize what you have around you, and be grateful for it.

    Like everyone else, I'm really sorry you're hurting. It stinks, but hopefully you'll come out better on the other end for it.
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Cry. alot. and cry again. letting all your hurt and emotions out is a lot healthier and more healing them holding them in.

    you'll then stop crying and realize it's not worth crying over anymore and go on with your life.
  • egyptiancurls89egyptiancurls89 Posts: 607Registered Users
    thanks you guys for all the advice......im usually a very happy person, but this has been one of the hardest times in my life.......and that's saying an awful lot..............................i just hope i made the right choice...i would hate myself if i found out later i was making a huge mistake
    3B~Fine, porus, and really long
    HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB :toothy10:
    :farao:Proud To Be Egyptian!
    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    im sorry youre hurting. break ups suck. but they do happen for the reason, no matter what side of the break up youre on.

    i think what speckla said was right on target.
    Cry. alot. and cry again. letting all your hurt and emotions out is a lot healthier and more healing them holding them in.

    you'll then stop crying and realize it's not worth crying over anymore and go on with your life.

    allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel for as long as it takes.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    Phoenix wrote: »
    meds

    Really?

    Nice. :roll:
    :rambo:
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,499Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ^^^when Mr. R left me, i was on anti-depressants and had to take sleeping pills for the better part of 6 months - it was that bad.

    the fact that i haven't had to do that with everything that went on over the past year is pretty amazing to me. it shows i've made some progress as a person.
    My blog:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Flabellatestarossa.blogspot.ca%2F" class="Popup

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users
    rouquinne wrote: »
    ^^^when Mr. R left me, i was on anti-depressants and had to take sleeping pills for the better part of 6 months - it was that bad.

    the fact that i haven't had to do that with everything that went on over the past year is pretty amazing to me. it shows i've made some progress as a person.

    I don't doubt that meds help in many different situations.

    I was more alluding to the irony of the person who posted it, her current and past posts/threads regarding relationships and dating, and how she once was in a magazine talking about how she went off of her meds.
    :rambo:
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,499Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    oh....

    i miss so much skipping so many threads...

    :oops:
    My blog:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Flabellatestarossa.blogspot.ca%2F" class="Popup

    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
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