Spinoff About Our First Relaxers

msjokermsjoker Posts: 1,658Registered Users
I started thinking about kids who are very young (3 & 4) whose parents relax their hair. Do you think this is a form of child abuse because the kids are so small? I had my first relaxer at 11 and the burns hurt sooo much. I can't imagine a 3 or 4-year-old experiencing that amount of pain. I know some most likely don't get burned, but what about the ones that do?
"It moisturizes my situation... preserves my sexy."
Failed to load the poll.
Failed to load the poll.

Comments

  • jazzijenni81jazzijenni81 Posts: 529Registered Users
    i voted yes, this is child abuse. no baby, no matter how nappy the hair, needs a relaxer! all it takes is mama braiding, picking, or throwing in a few ponytails! if she cant do it, im sure theres someone who can! i think its UTTERLY RIDICULOUS to put any chemical on a baby's head! water, softener, and a brush is all thats needed!

    *no offense to anyone that does this to her childs hair or had this done to her own, but these are my thoughts.
    loose 4a, silky meets cottony
    routine: co-wash, add leave in or plain water, shake & go
    staples: elucence poo & conditioners, V05 & suave naturals, jessicurl too shea, AO.
  • jazzijenni81jazzijenni81 Posts: 529Registered Users
    dp
    loose 4a, silky meets cottony
    routine: co-wash, add leave in or plain water, shake & go
    staples: elucence poo & conditioners, V05 & suave naturals, jessicurl too shea, AO.
  • An AkashaAn Akasha Posts: 175Registered Users
    I agree. I think it's a form of child abuse.

    Relaxers are not like the fake 'Just For Me' it's so fun & easy relaxer kits. It's a caustic chemical being applied to a child's delicate scalp.

    It's damaging physically and emotionally. Girls have a hard enough time growing up being bombarded with images of how they are supposed to look: hair color, skin color, etc.

    And to have their mother/ parent to confirm that straight hair= beauty or the BS that straight hair= easy, care-free hair is awful.

    Parents need to counteract the brainwashing that children receive from outside forces (media, friends, negative family members), not to concur with the lies.

    A child was created with hair perfect for them, regardless of the texture.
    BSL of thick 4a/ 3c coils.
    Member since 1999.
  • CheleighCheleigh Posts: 552Registered Users
    I don't think it's abuse per se, because I don't think they are intentionally trying to harm their children. But it's a real problem for our community. I think the problems black women are having with their hair now (the damage, the thin, scraggly relaxed hair and the over abundance of weaves and extensions) stem from the fact that "my" generation of girl children got relaxers when we were 7-12 years old. As such, many of the girls from my generation haven't a clue how to style natural, kinky, coily, curly hair because our hair was relaxed about the time we would start caring for our own hair. So now, as soon as their daughters (I'm old enough to have kids in this generation) start to lose that "baby fine hair," they don't know what to do with it but relax it--just like their own hair.

    I guess it really solidified an industry though--because of the legions of black women who can basically no longer care for their own hair (nor the hair of their daughters) there's a black hair salon on every corner just like a nail shop, in some areas. It's sad. Very, very sad.
    Natural pics: http://picturetrail.com/shelacious
    pw: kinky
    Hair type: Spongy & kinky texture. Coily & curly strands.
  • DocDoc Posts: 367Registered Users
    Cheleigh wrote:
    I don't think it's abuse per se, because I don't think they are intentionally trying to harm their children. But it's a real problem for our community. I think the problems black women are having with their hair now (the damage, the thin, scraggly relaxed hair and the over abundance of weaves and extensions) stem from the fact that "my" generation of girl children got relaxers when we were 7-12 years old. As such, many of the girls from my generation haven't a clue how to style natural, kinky, coily, curly hair because our hair was relaxed about the time we would start caring for our own hair. So now, as soon as their daughters (I'm old enough to have kids in this generation) start to lose that "baby fine hair," they don't know what to do with it but relax it--just like their own hair.

    I guess it really solidified an industry though--because of the legions of black women who can basically no longer care for their own hair (nor the hair of their daughters) there's a black hair salon on every corner just like a nail shop, in some areas. It's sad. Very, very sad.


    very well said; ITA :)
    Dense kinky-curly; healthy and growing strong!
  • msjokermsjoker Posts: 1,658Registered Users
    Cheleigh wrote:
    I don't think it's abuse per se, because I don't think they are intentionally trying to harm their children.

    I don't think they're intentionally trying to harm their child either, but when a 2, 3 4-year old girl has patches of hair missing, a receding hair line (that is not natural) and scalp burns, I have to wonder if the parents realize that they're harming their child. If a doctor knew this, I'm sure they wouldn't condone it. I also read somewhere that pregnant women shouldn't relax their hair because it may harm the baby.
    "It moisturizes my situation... preserves my sexy."
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    msjoker wrote:
    Cheleigh wrote:
    I don't think it's abuse per se, because I don't think they are intentionally trying to harm their children.

    I don't think they're intentionally trying to harm their child either, but when a 2, 3 4-year old girl has patches of hair missing, a receding hair line (that is not natural) and scalp burns, I have to wonder if the parents realize that they're harming their child. If a doctor knew this, I'm sure they wouldn't condone it. I also read somewhere that pregnant women shouldn't relax their hair because it may harm the baby.

    My hair was healthy when I had a relaxer. I've experienced my only bald spots when I've been natural, actually (from stress - grad school and since moving here).

    My hair was down my back, thick and beautiful when I was young. It is shorter, thick and beautiful now that I'm natural, and when it grows I'll think that's great, too.

    I got a relaxer at 4 or 5. That was not abuse. My mom beat me with frying pans, vacuum cleaner cords, brooms, and wet belts in the shower. That was abuse.

    If a parent is doing anything to their child (including relaxers, spanking, time outs, yelling), sees that there are preventable negative affects and continues to do them, I think that's abuse. Some women don't know enough to attribute all those problems you described to relaxers, though. It's all they've ever known to do. This is something that should be decided on a case by case basis. *Your* experiences with unhealthy, straggly permed hair is not the experience of every child, teenager, or adult.

    eta: I agree wholeheartedly with this statement...
    A child was created with hair perfect for them, regardless of the texture.

    I still don't have a problem with perms, extensions, color, earrings, etc., if it is a choice and not seen as a necessity. As curlyarca said, "It's all the same to the clam."
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • msjokermsjoker Posts: 1,658Registered Users
    I'm not writing about small children who had relaxers and there was nothing wrong with their relaxers. I'm talking about the very young girls with scalp burns, patches of hair missing, receding hair lines, etc.
    "It moisturizes my situation... preserves my sexy."
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    msjoker wrote:
    I'm not writing about small children who had relaxers and there was nothing wrong with their relaxers. I'm talking about the very young girls with scalp burns, patches of hair missing, receding hair lines, etc.

    :oops:

    Yes, I think that's abuse. :lol:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • msjokermsjoker Posts: 1,658Registered Users
    dia99 wrote:
    msjoker wrote:
    I'm not writing about small children who had relaxers and there was nothing wrong with their relaxers. I'm talking about the very young girls with scalp burns, patches of hair missing, receding hair lines, etc.

    :oops:

    Yes, I think that's abuse. :lol:

    LOL, ok...I have seen little girls that I consider to still be babies look like similar to this, but with smaller bald patches:

    i2.jpg
    "It moisturizes my situation... preserves my sexy."
  • PsychePsyche Posts: 90Registered Users
    dia99 wrote:
    My mom beat me with frying pans, vacuum cleaner cords, brooms, and wet belts in the shower. That was abuse.

    :shock: Oh my, that is abuse.

    I voted yes. 4 yrs old is way too young to be exposed to such a harsh chemical on a tender scalp.
  • PsychePsyche Posts: 90Registered Users
    An Akasha wrote:
    I agree. I think it's a form of child abuse.

    Relaxers are not like the fake 'Just For Me' it's so fun & easy relaxer kits. It's a caustic chemical being applied to a child's delicate scalp.

    It's damaging physically and emotionally. Girls have a hard enough time growing up being bombarded with images of how they are supposed to look: hair color, skin color, etc.

    And to have their mother/ parent to confirm that straight hair= beauty or the BS that straight hair= easy, care-free hair is awful.

    Parents need to counteract the brainwashing that children receive from outside forces (media, friends, negative family members), not to concur with the lies.

    A child was created with hair perfect for them, regardless of the texture.

    ITA. Well said.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file