Another S/O: Teaching "gentle"

Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Curl NeophytePosts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
Lydia likes to pull hair and noses and grab big chunks of skin. I know this is normal because she's just exploring, but I was wondering what you all did at this age.

For a couple months, I've been practicing "gentle" with Lydia, by showing her how to stroke my face or pet the dog. So whenever she starts getting rough, I take her hand and we practice "gentle."

Any other tips? What about when she gets rough with other people? Do you think it confuses her if I let her play with my hair and only redirect her when she yanks it? TIA!

ETA: I know it will take a very long time for any of this to sink in!

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Curl Connoisseur Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    She's only 6 months...she just barely learned to grab things. I think prying your hair out of her fingers is just about all you can do at this age. That and maybe get a short haircut or keep it up. Oh, and don't wear dangly earrings too often.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    I agree with RCW. Its too young to really teach her anything, I think.

    I'll add, keep her fingernails short.
  • KaiaKaia Curl Connoisseur Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Just keep practicing gentle, but don't get too frustrated if it doesn't work for a long time. I've been really working with Dylan on "gentle" mostly for the sake of the cats. He likes to yank their fur and ears, so I'll tell him gentle and show him how to pet them. Usually at this point, he starts whacking them with an open palm instead. I think he thinks that's petting. Oh well, as long as he's not coming up with fistfulls of fur, I guess we're making progress.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    Aidan definitely understands 'gentle'- he'll stroke my face when I say it- but what he doesn't understand is that he's to replace rough behavior with gentle (I wouldn't expect him to). I try to minimize his contact with my hair, but he also grabs skin and bites. If he does something like pull hair or pinch, I will redirect him with a "gentle"; I don't think he's hurting intentionally. When he bites though, I tend to put him down and give a firm 'no' just because it really hurts. It doesn't seem effective though, he just laughs. I'm careful to unlatch him when he's finished nursing because if he starts to play, I probably will be bitten.

    Anyway, I'd keep on teaching gentle, eventually she will realize that she's supposed to be gentle and not be rough.
  • FieryCurlsFieryCurls Posts: 2,904Registered Users
    I feel you. It sucks constantly having to pry my hair out of her hands, but I know it's part of the process.
    2qhtm5.png

    WNckm6.png
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Curl Neophyte Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thanks for the replies! It's hard to see others hurt by her. I don't mind as much, partly b/c I'm more practiced at anticipating her grabs and pulls. As much as I miss my big earrings, I haven't worn them in months. I do need to work on clipping her nails more often though.

    Kaia, my parents have a big dog. He's not mean, but he just gets excited, so their interactions are so orchestrated, it's funny. My mom holds the dog still, and I hold Lydia's hand and help her pet him.

    Cosmicfly, I've just started getting some face pats, and some sort of open-mouth "kiss" on my cheek, and those are so fun! :love7: Then she gets excited, and it's all over.
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Karan would do what we used to call "the joyous headbutt". When you picked him up, he was super happy, he'd start flapping his arms and then WHAM! his forehead meets your mouth and it hurt like a mo-fo. I got more than one fat lip that way.

    It seemed to make other people happy when I said "Gentle touch!" and did the patting thing. Even if I knew he didn't understand me, it made me look like a good Mom because I was disciplining/guiding my child.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    It seemed to make other people happy when I said "Gentle touch!" and did the patting thing. Even if I knew he didn't understand me, it made me look like a good Mom because I was disciplining/guiding my child.

    Yeah I think when they're that little, it's less about actually disciplining the child and more about showing others that you're not just letting the child's "behavior" slide.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Curl Connoisseur Posts: 996Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    It seemed to make other people happy when I said "Gentle touch!" and did the patting thing. Even if I knew he didn't understand me, it made me look like a good Mom because I was disciplining/guiding my child.

    Yeah I think when they're that little, it's less about actually disciplining the child and more about showing others that you're not just letting the child's "behavior" slide.

    I totally agree with this. Especially under age 2.
    Hair type: 3A/B
    I lurk, therefore, I am.
    My Blog
  • KaiaKaia Curl Connoisseur Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Kaia, my parents have a big dog. He's not mean, but he just gets excited, so their interactions are so orchestrated, it's funny. My mom holds the dog still, and I hold Lydia's hand and help her pet him.

    Cute! I don't worry about my dogs. Now that they're used to him walking, they walk around him pretty gingerly and barely ever knock him over. The worst that happens is he gets smacked in the face with a wagging tail, which I can't really blame the dogs for as they don't seem to have a clue what their back half is doing. :roll: It's really cute when there's a dog in his way and he tries to shove them to the side with his little hand.

    But just this morning, a cat bit him leaving a big red mark on his hand. :( It was my fault. He was yanking her tail really hard and I didn't get over there fast enough. Then of course he went right back for the same cat. *sigh*
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    Cosmicfly, I've just started getting some face pats, and some sort of open-mouth "kiss" on my cheek, and those are so fun! :love7: Then she gets excited, and it's all over.

    Oh, I love those kisses. Unfortunately now, Aidan is biting just as much as he kisses and he goes in the same way, there's no way to anticipate if I will be loved or attacked. He has top and bottom teeth, so those bites hurt!
  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    my lydia is almost 10 months, but she's been trying the nipple pinch while nursing for a good long while now. i just firmly told her 'no' and moved her hand away or put mine in the way to shield it from harms way.

    i think they understand a lot more than we think. even if they don't comprehend fully the words or logic, they get the spirit, and the feeling. i just explained to her that it hurts me, and that i love her but i can't let her do that. i was just really consistent, and she stopped. same thing went for hitting the face, grabbing my glasses, pulling daddy's hair, etc. just a firm, consistent, loving, 'no' and then redirecting (and a brief explanation of why). i didn't do it in a punitive or reproving way, just matter-of-factly, because i understand that she is just exploring her world, but that exploration has a limit when it hurts someone.

    i try to help her find other things to do with her busy fingers. keeping the nails short is a definite help as well.

    m
    coarse, thick 3a
    modified cg



    weight.png



  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    Mayim,

    That is the cutest photo of Lydia in your avatar.
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    Windflower wrote: »
    Mayim,

    That is the cutest photo of Lydia in your avatar.

    hee - i just saw this. thanks. (:

    i have a ton of new photos, i just have to download them from the camera. i need to make one of those fun slideshow thingamajigs. i'll post it here once i actually have time!

    m
    coarse, thick 3a
    modified cg



    weight.png



Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file