CurlTalk

the grass is always greener on the other side

subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
i was at my sister's salon the yesterday...well i was there today too but thats not the point. anyway 2 girls were filling out applications for employment, one had a relaxer and the other one was natural (about 4b, styled in a fro hawk that was braided on the sides). so when i came in my sister (who also has a relaxer) introduced us. the rest of the conversation went a little something like this:

my sister: this is my sister, subbrock. shes natural too. see subb, i told you there were other naturals who came in here!
me: i didnt believe you but i guess youre right!
my sister: fro hawk girl said she goes to the natural hair website, is that the one you go to? or do you go to the curly one?
me: umm...ive been there before but i really just go to the curly one now.
my sister: why?
me: *trying my best not to offend fro hawk girl* umm, well...they can be not so nice sometimes. from what ive experienced i dont think curlies are really welcome to much over there...
fro hawk girl: uh-uh. we dont like y'all.
*sister and fro hawk girl start laughing*
me: see i told you!
my sister: why not?
fro hawk girl: they got it easy...
me: easy?!
fro hawk: yeah, your hair is easier to deal with. ours is alot harder. you dont have naps, so you dont know.

the moral of the story is: apparently our hair looks so good we've tricked the world into thinking that we wake up with beautiful luscious curls! and some of us do, but im not one of them. it just made me laugh thinking about how many threads there are about frizz, plopping, products, tools, cones, styles, etc etc etc. how frustrated we get and how much money we've all spent looking for the perfect products. so much so that this website had to be created! but it just goes to show you that the grass is always greener on the other side. :D

Comments

  • =~ohura~==~ohura~= Posts: 255Registered Users
    Yes, it is true that the grass is usually greener on the other side. :lol: that she said that she didn't like "y'all".
    .jpg
    Do a better job of covering your stinky aliass.
  • runrunrunnerrunrunrunner Posts: 196Registered Users
    wow,

    she can speak for herself!!!!
    i'm a regular over there,
    and i believe no such thing about curlies

    no one has it "easy"
    every hair type and every individual person
    has their problems and annoyances
    when it comes to their hair.

    how ridiculous some are.

    hooray for hair!
    mine and yours.

    :P
  • BraziliancurlsBraziliancurls Posts: 231Registered Users
    runrunrunner, I think you may be the exception (and i am sure that there are other people who think like you). However, I can say, from personal experience that this is the attitude of a lot of naturals. i notice it even here, from 1 very vocal, and rude person who continues to hate. It is quite unfortunate, but it is true. We all have beautiful hair! From wavy to kinky and everything in between.
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fbraziliancurls%2F" class="Popup
    pw:wondercurls
    HG: CURLS Pure Essentials, Naturally Enhanced curl lotion, and Curl Ecstasy conditioner, DevaCurl OneC, Cream of Nature Shampoo
  • *Ani**Ani* Posts: 351Registered Users
    wow,

    she can speak for herself!!!!
    i'm a regular over there,
    and i believe no such thing about curlies

    no one has it "easy"
    every hair type and every individual person
    has their problems and annoyances
    when it comes to their hair.

    how ridiculous some are.

    hooray for hair!
    mine and yours.

    :P

    I agree.

    I'm kind of disturbed by the way some of us supposed "3C's" (many of us with chemical assistance on the d/l) keep trying to separate ourselves from the rest of black hair types.

    This hair typing nonsense is divisive and foolish.

    btw., 3c, 4a, 4b, whatever it's still all curly hair.
    On Rush Limbaugh: Rather than engage in the admittedly difficult task of justifying GOP policies rationally, the key to Limbaugh’s success is attracting an audience that actually yearns to be lied to.
  • CherishCherish Posts: 1,847Registered Users
    From what I know about nappturality (and similar black hair boards), the only andre natural hair type that is not represented there is type 1.

    That said, I hope this thread gets to 20 pages discussing a mythical "them" vs "us".
  • *Ani**Ani* Posts: 351Registered Users
    discussing a mythical "them" vs "us".

    :lol: :wink: :oops:
    On Rush Limbaugh: Rather than engage in the admittedly difficult task of justifying GOP policies rationally, the key to Limbaugh’s success is attracting an audience that actually yearns to be lied to.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    note: i didnt post this to start a "them" vs. "us" war, i just took it as a backhanded compliment. and i know ive been guilty of the grass is always greener syndrome too! :D
  • runrunrunnerrunrunrunner Posts: 196Registered Users
    subbrock wrote:
    note: i didnt post this to start a "them" vs. "us" war, i just took it as a backhanded compliment. and i know ive been guilty of the grass is always greener syndrome too! :D

    ______________

    yeah, certainly!
    i think we all have at one point
    about SOMETHING
    even if it's not hair.
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    Is it referenced as natural site/curly site assuming that "curly-haired" women (I'm assuming black) are not naturally curly? The name of this site leads me to think that all of the women here are natural, with the exception of the ones who say they're using chemicals in search of a natural "look", whatever that is.

    Primpin' ain't easy, regardless the texture or curl pattern. That's why I'm back to the ponypuff for the most part. 8)
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    dia99 wrote:
    Is it referenced as natural site/curly site assuming that "curly-haired" women (I'm assuming black) are not naturally curly? The name of this site leads me to think that all of the women here are natural, with the exception of the ones who say they're using chemicals in search of a natural "look", whatever that is.

    Primpin' ain't easy, regardless the texture or curl pattern. That's why I'm back to the ponypuff for the most part. 8)

    dia, you are so cool. im going to have to use that in my sig line now....
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    subbrock, I thought I was being clever. Turns out from a quick google search you can even get t-shirts that read that. If you buy one, be sure to add a pic to your fotki. :lol:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    hahaha, i told myself i would stop buying shirts that say things, but i may have to make an exception!
  • CherishCherish Posts: 1,847Registered Users
    dia99 wrote:
    Is it referenced as natural site/curly site assuming that "curly-haired" women (I'm assuming black) are not naturally curly? The name of this site leads me to think that all of the women here are natural, with the exception of the ones who say they're using chemicals in search of a natural "look", whatever that is.

    I think this might be referred to as the curly site (i.e not natural site) because this site explictly supports relaxing, texturizing, etc (I don't know if you've scrolled through to see what other boards we now have), while theirs does not.
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    Cherish wrote:
    dia99 wrote:
    Is it referenced as natural site/curly site assuming that "curly-haired" women (I'm assuming black) are not naturally curly? The name of this site leads me to think that all of the women here are natural, with the exception of the ones who say they're using chemicals in search of a natural "look", whatever that is.

    I think this might be referred to as the curly site (i.e not natural site) because this site explictly supports relaxing, texturizing, etc (I don't know if you've scrolled through to see what other boards we now have), while theirs does not.

    That's a good guess. There are no filters here for the chemical fire cream. :lol:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • SisaSisa Posts: 759Registered Users
    dia99 wrote:
    subbrock, I thought I was being clever. Turns out from a quick google search you can even get t-shirts that read that. If you buy one, be sure to add a pic to your fotki. :lol:

    I still want "TURN OR BURN" across my chest. :twisted:
  • SisaSisa Posts: 759Registered Users
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    Sisa wrote:

    haha i think my mom or my sister have that set!!!!
  • CreationCreation Posts: 48Registered Users
    What makes no sense is that if your hair is naturally curly. That is still natural. It doesn't make sense that people from the mindset of fro hawk would have a prejudice against curlies when curlies go through prejudice from straight heads. Its seems so hypocritical. You would think that she would be supportive to you also for going natural. Curlies are encouraged to straighten their hair just as much as fro hawk.( I hope this is not being interperted in the wrong way. I guess my point is that it upsets me that fro hawk is a person who you would think would be so proud of her hair and feel good about her hair and encourage others in their quest for naturally being whoever they are.) I hope this makes sense

    I am a member of one of the other boards as well as this board and what I got from both boards is that however your hair is natural its beautiful. Unfortunatley, some women who want to say they don't buy into the good hair/bad hair stigma are still thinking that there kinky or coiley hair is bad. When its NOT its all beautiful! Curly, Kinky, Coily, Straight whatever. Women should encourage each other to be comfortable with themselves regardless of hair texture.

    Its the stupid media and hollywood that puts these ridiculous ideas of beauty standards in our heads.

    Oh, and by the way subbrock your hair is beautiful.. Sounds like fro hawk might have had some hateraid. Her hair is probably beautiful too. But she might still have some issues with her mindset.

    Just some thoughts.
    Righteousness isn't what you do it's a gift!

    I'm still trying to find out what my hair type is!!
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    Creation wrote:
    What makes no sense is that if your hair is naturally curly. That is still natural. It doesn't make sense that people from the mindset of fro hawk would have a prejudice against curlies when curlies go through prejudice from straight heads. Its seems so hypocritical. You would think that she would be supportive to you also for going natural. Curlies are encouraged to straighten their hair just as much as fro hawk.( I hope this is not being interperted in the wrong way. I guess my point is that it upsets me that fro hawk is a person who you would think would be so proud of her hair and feel good about her hair and encourage others in their quest for naturally being whoever they are.) I hope this makes sense

    I am a member of one of the other boards as well as this board and what I got from both boards is that however your hair is natural its beautiful. Unfortunatley, some women who want to say they don't buy into the good hair/bad hair stigma are still thinking that there kinky or coiley hair is bad. When its NOT its all beautiful! Curly, Kinky, Coily, Straight whatever. Women should encourage each other to be comfortable with themselves regardless of hair texture.

    Its the stupid media and hollywood that puts these ridiculous ideas of beauty standards in our heads.

    Oh, and by the way subbrock your hair is beautiful.. Sounds like fro hawk might have had some hateraid. Her hair is probably beautiful too. But she might still have some issues with her mindset.

    Just some thoughts.

    1st- thanks for the compliment!

    2nd-i completely agree with what youve said and it made me think why there is sometimes a division between "curl hair" and "natural hair". i think alot of times people dont realize that alot of us curlies used to relax our hair. i know plenty of people who were shocked that i used to relax. theyve said things like "why would you ever relax your hair??? youve got "good hair"..." *i do not believe in good/bad hair for the record*

    just my 2 cents...
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,495Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Your hair looks great, subbrock.

    But why are you straightening now? I love it curly!

  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    no need to worry, that 'do only last for 8 hrs...if that!

    i woke up in the morning after trying to sleep pretty and my curls were back!
  • jazzijenni81jazzijenni81 Posts: 529Registered Users
    i agree w subbrock. there is a division between "natural" and "curly" hair...the difference being curly hair doesnt qualify...whenever we take issue w our hair...it isnt taken seriously...little do they know that alot of curlies go through hell and high water to achieve that ever so envied look! a 10 step styling program hardly screams "ease!"


    the problem isnt curly vs kinky...its overall acceptance. if both kinkies and curlies accepted their textures, there would be no room for good vs. bad.

    so the grass may be greener on the other side, but there are tons of brown spots that need watering... on both!
    loose 4a, silky meets cottony
    routine: co-wash, add leave in or plain water, shake & go
    staples: elucence poo & conditioners, V05 & suave naturals, jessicurl too shea, AO.
  • kinanamo1kinanamo1 Posts: 49Registered Users
    so the grass may be greener on the other side, but there are tons of brown spots that need watering... on both!


    LMAOTF......that can be said for more than hair!!!!!!
  • CurlilocsCurlilocs Posts: 821Registered Users
    Creation wrote:
    What makes no sense is that if your hair is naturally curly. That is still natural. It doesn't make sense that people from the mindset of fro hawk would have a prejudice against curlies when curlies go through prejudice from straight heads. Its seems so hypocritical. You would think that she would be supportive to you also for going natural. Curlies are encouraged to straighten their hair just as much as fro hawk.( I hope this is not being interperted in the wrong way. I guess my point is that it upsets me that fro hawk is a person who you would think would be so proud of her hair and feel good about her hair and encourage others in their quest for naturally being whoever they are.) I hope this makes sense

    I am a member of one of the other boards as well as this board and what I got from both boards is that however your hair is natural its beautiful. Unfortunatley, some women who want to say they don't buy into the good hair/bad hair stigma are still thinking that there kinky or coiley hair is bad. When its NOT its all beautiful! Curly, Kinky, Coily, Straight whatever. Women should encourage each other to be comfortable with themselves regardless of hair texture.

    Its the stupid media and hollywood that puts these ridiculous ideas of beauty standards in our heads.

    Oh, and by the way subbrock your hair is beautiful.. Sounds like fro hawk might have had some hateraid. Her hair is probably beautiful too. But she might still have some issues with her mindset.

    Just some thoughts.

    Wow, I found this post to be so insightful and I couldn't agree more. I know I'm coming in all late and wrong, but I can testify to being dismissed as a natural because my hair is curly. It happens almost everytime I set foot in an ethnic BSS. Having curly hair doesn't automatically give you a pass to styling ease. All hair textures have their good charactersitics and their bad, so to reiterate on what creation said, we all have to make do and accept what the creator gave us.

    It's funny though....most people, myself included, always want what we don't have. :wink:
    Free your Mind and your Hair will Follow :)
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    album pw: bangz
  • curlylittlemommycurlylittlemommy Posts: 16Registered Users
    Man oh man, I went to a popular natural hair site (I will not mention the name) some time back and made the mistake of using "Alishia Keys" trying to describe my hair texture. Did I ever get flamed! It was so obvious that this particular place did not want me there because I do not have hair that is as kinky as everybody else's. It ended up geting so nasty (days after I beat my hasty retreat) and they went on and on and on, the moderators eventually removed my thread.

    so sad.

    I have not been back there since.

    Shook me up so bad, it was with great hesitance and reluctance that I eventually drew up enough nerve to come here. I desperately need to talk to people about my hair to gain insight, but was so afraid that I would get flamed again for trying to go into details as to exactly what hair type I have.
  • babyphat21babyphat21 Posts: 124Registered Users
    i think i know what site you are talking about... they have been known for that kind of reaction....

    but i constantly get dismissed by people!!!! if only they knew! my hair is sooooooooooo thick and it gets a little hard to comb if i don't wet it everyday! when i spent the night at my friends house, i left all my hairstuff at home and i was freaking out b/c i was gonna look crazy in the morning. she goes "you better just brush that up in a ponytail, you got that good hair" ok..... what does that mean? i mean, i know what it means, but it's stupid. she has naturally straight hair (but she is all black) and she braided it once to make it look curly like mine. she came upstairs saying "it's harder than i thought". all i could say was "i told you so!"... it's not so easy once you have to do it yourself.
    SUPER THICK 3C zig-zags, blackish with random natural brown/red highlights. Searching for my exact heritage, 'cause I don't have a clue...