Freaking out over the potty?

KitathenaKitathena Posts: 1,666Registered Users Curl Neophyte
My son turned 2 in September and we have actually pooped in the potty twice...very small amounts, but still. He will ask to sit on the potty sometimes, and he has a book that he "reads" while on it, but he never does anything. The two times I got him to do it were about a month ago when I caught him in the act and was able to rush him to the potty in time.

Lately, about the last 2 weeks, whenever I see him pooping in his diaper and suggest we go to the potty, he freaks out, screaming and shaking his head. We still sit on the potty probably about twice a day when he asks, but it's never when he has to go. I don't want to force him to go to the potty, as I'm afraid I will make him hate it.

However, I'm rather stumped on what to do next? Do I just leave him be and keep doing what we're doing? Also, DH and my MIL watch him about 2-3 days out of the week and I don't think they really do the potty with him, so could that be an issue too? Or am I just overreacting? TIA!
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Comments

  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    I have no idea, I just wanted to sympathize with you! My son turns 2 in a week and I'm going to try to start potty training him while I'm home for a few weeks for Christmas break.

    Maybe RedCatWaves will chime in--she seems to be the resident potty expert.
    ehLB.jpg
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    He may not be ready just yet. I would back off a little, and try again in a month or two. In the mean time, talk it over with DH and MIL about certain times to take him to the potty so he will know what to expect all the time. For example, he always sits on the potty after breakfast, after lunch, and after nap if he takes one. Pick one or two times that work best for you all. It will come.

    When it does start to come a little more, make a big deal about it. Take him out for a special day, let him pick out big boy underwear, his own potty or potty seat, take him for ice cream or something really special.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    It's just something different and he's probably afraid of it because it's not familiar. My son would pee in the potty since the age of two but would not poop. He was terrified the first time he was on the potty and pooped and was crying for his diaper. He was a few months from turning three. Right after he turned three, he went into the bathroom by himself and pooped after he saw my niece be a big girl and go. I heard him call my name for help to wipe. I was shocked he had gone and I took him out of Pull-Ups because he started using the potty regularly after that. It'll come with time as he gets more comfortable.
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    Kitathena wrote: »
    My son turned 2 in September and we have actually pooped in the potty twice...very small amounts, but still. He will ask to sit on the potty sometimes, and he has a book that he "reads" while on it, but he never does anything. The two times I got him to do it were about a month ago when I caught him in the act and was able to rush him to the potty in time.

    Lately, about the last 2 weeks, whenever I see him pooping in his diaper and suggest we go to the potty, he freaks out, screaming and shaking his head. We still sit on the potty probably about twice a day when he asks, but it's never when he has to go. I don't want to force him to go to the potty, as I'm afraid I will make him hate it.

    However, I'm rather stumped on what to do next? Do I just leave him be and keep doing what we're doing? Also, DH and my MIL watch him about 2-3 days out of the week and I don't think they really do the potty with him, so could that be an issue too? Or am I just overreacting? TIA!

    we skipped the potty with our daughter. most of them are so colorful and with buttons and toys that they are more like toys than functional devices.

    we taught her on the real toilet because she didn't seem to like the idea of the "toy" potty. we didn't even use the toddler seat. she eventually learned to lean forward and support herself. she didn't like the potty and we never forced it.

    also, you really need everyone on board to make this work, especially since your son is showing that he wants to do it, even part of the time.

    i wouldn't ask him if he has to go, and wouldn't wait until he asks you. every 15 minutes, we told our kids "it's time to sit on the pot/toilet." if we'd asked them, they would almost always have said "no." when you make them go with that frequency, you are more likely to catch them having to urinate or make a bm. if you wait hours in between to ask or wait until they ask you, quite possibly, they've already gone on themselves.

    ETA: it only has to be an issue if you make going to the potty an option, then end up forcing him to go. if you assert that this is what you are going to do (with the same tone that you'd use when announcing that it's time to sit and eat), he'll probably be more receptive to you.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Kitathena wrote: »
    My son turned 2 in September and we have actually pooped in the potty twice...very small amounts, but still. He will ask to sit on the potty sometimes, and he has a book that he "reads" while on it, but he never does anything. The two times I got him to do it were about a month ago when I caught him in the act and was able to rush him to the potty in time.

    Lately, about the last 2 weeks, whenever I see him pooping in his diaper and suggest we go to the potty, he freaks out, screaming and shaking his head. We still sit on the potty probably about twice a day when he asks, but it's never when he has to go. I don't want to force him to go to the potty, as I'm afraid I will make him hate it.

    However, I'm rather stumped on what to do next? Do I just leave him be and keep doing what we're doing? Also, DH and my MIL watch him about 2-3 days out of the week and I don't think they really do the potty with him, so could that be an issue too? Or am I just overreacting? TIA!


    I'm no expert, but I have trained 4 kids. One thing I've learned is that you can't force a kid to pottytrain til s/he is ready to do so. They have the ultimate power. And, yes, forcing him to sit on it will be counterproductive.

    Showing him is a great thing, but actual pottytraining only takes a few days, not months and months. You'll only bore him and aggravate yourself by constantly putting him on the potty when he's not doing anything while on it. I like to use the all-or-nothing method. When you know you'll be home for a few days, try no diapers, just training pants, and see how it goes. If he uses the potty, wonderful, jump up and down and do a happy dance and shower him with praise. If he doesn't and messes his underwear a few times, then no pressure, no punishment, just back to diapers and try again in a few weeks.

    Most kids do not train at age 2. A few do, but they're rare. Most train by age 3. You really don't want to spend a year doing this. He'll do it when he's ready.

    The best training is just showing him while you're using the potty. They want to be big like mom and dad. It's scary though. They don't like the insecurity of "losing" part of themselves into the potty. So, if he's adamently refusing to even try, I would just stop for a while.
  • anonnymouseanonnymouse Posts: 1,340Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    RedCatWaves said it all.
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  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    The past couple days, Connor will say, "poo poo," then a few minutes later he has a poopy diaper. So he said it just now, and I rushed him in to the potty chair, but he wouldn't sit on it. He just whined and cried and didn't want to sit down, or on the big toilet either. :sad3: I guess maybe he's not ready.:confused:

    And now he's got a poopy diaper. :roll:
    ehLB.jpg
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    sarah42 wrote: »
    The past couple days, Connor will say, "poo poo," then a few minutes later he has a poopy diaper. So he said it just now, and I rushed him in to the potty chair, but he wouldn't sit on it. He just whined and cried and didn't want to sit down, or on the big toilet either. :sad3: I guess maybe he's not ready.:confused:

    And now he's got a poopy diaper. :roll:

    Wait until he brings you a diaper because he has to poop and wants you to change him afterwards. That's a sure sign he's ready to use the potty and it's just a control issue. We lost the PullUps shortly after my son started to do that. I told him he could poop in his pants or use the potty but the PullUps were a thing of the past. He decided the potty wasn't a bad thing because poopy pants weren't too appealing.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Agreed that they have the ultimate power to control this situation. And as far as I'm concerned, why not let them? I mean, we control everything they do, I think they should be allowed to control going to the bathroom.

    Whatever way you decide to go, they will do it when they're ready. If you try to force it, you're only going to cause more stress for yourself.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.

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