Need some help/suggestions/support...

sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
My beautiful baby girl has turned into a crying monster! She cries off and on all day no matter what I do. I breastfeed and feed on demand although there are times when she feeds so frequently I don't think she is getting anything and it frustrates her. She has been spitting up frequently but no power puking or anything so I'm not sure if it is reflux, colic or just general fussiness. She cries whether or not she is well fed and clean and dry. It seems as though there is no real trigger for her crying and she will calm down at times with walking, rocking, singing, reading her a story, swaddling, being worn although there is no guarantee that any of these will work at any given time. She is held 99% of my waking hours. The funny thing is that once she falls asleep for the night, she is down for the count and wakes once or twice to eat and goes back to sleep fairly quickly.

Before yesterday, she would take a 2 hour nap once in the morning and once in the afternoon with maybe a few 15 - 30 minute naps thrown in there throughout the day. Yesterday she napped in the morning but not the afternoon and cried all afternoon and evening. I had to put her in the carseat and take her out in the car to get her to fall asleep so I could have some peace. Same with today except 1 o'clock pm rolled around today and I was at my wits end with the on again off again crying and she hadn't napped yet so I put her in the car and took a drive. She finally fell asleep which is how I'm able to get on here and type this.

I have called to get her an appt with the doctor to investigate whether it is reflux or something else I'm not clued into. She will be seen on Monday as they could not get her in today because of low staffing for their holiday party (it is a military hospital and they gave me the option of waiting until Monday or going to the ER and waiting all day to be seen). I don't feel that this is an emergency per se as she doesn't have a temperature and this has been going on for days. It isn't like she can't be comforted but when she is, it doesn't last long.

ANYWAY, is there something I'm doing wrong or overlooking or is she just a fussy baby? Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. I will be very honest in saying that I have never been around babies so I don't know if this is completely normal or not. I have tried looking online for info but find a lot of contradicting info. I feel like I'm hanging in there pretty good but feel like a complete idiot as a mom.
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Comments

  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    ((hugs)) How old is she now? 4 weeks - 6 weeks?

    Its totally normal. Might be a growth spurt/feeding frenzy, or she might just be a crabby baby. Have you tried offering a pacifier? We started with both kids at around 6-8 weeks.

    I think that the fact that she is a good night sleeper means that there really isn't anything wrong. She can't be that uncomfortable.

    A frustrating phase, but it will pass! By about 3 months, you'll see an improvement.
  • SigiSigi Posts: 2,379Registered Users
    I'm not sure if this is the case with your baby or not, but Soren went through a period where he was so tired he couldn't go to sleep. He wouldn't nurse, take his pacifier, couldn't be bounced to sleep, nothing. He'd cry (scream) for over an hour at a time. It's gotten better, but I think I'm catching on to his cues better and noticing when he's been up for a longer period that he needs a nap. But if I don't catch it in time, he gets too wound up and won't sleep or will sleep poorly. Now I find that if he's leaning towards this I have to swaddle him (after not having swaddled him for weeks), hold him a certain way and bounce him while standing while he has his pacifier (nursing won't work). So you just might need to find out which trick works for your baby if being overly tired is what's wrong with her.

    Good luck and (((hugs))).
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I had a similar problem with my first sometime around 6-8 weeks. It apparently was caused by gas the need for a pacy and overeating. His tummy hurt, so he turned to his only known comfort, nursing. Which might have momentarily made him feel better. But caused him to overeat, which made his tummy feel worse.

    I didn't think it was gas, he didn't have the symptoms. But my neighbor suggested that gas medicene and it instantly worked.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    As long as she's eating and pooping and sleeping occasionally, it sounds like "normal" fussy baby stuff to me. Or at least "common", if not normal. Babies cry. They just do. They often "wake up" at around a month old and figure out they are out of the newborn stage, and they are quite unhappy about it. Most of them settle down by about 12 weeks and fuss a lot less.

    Give yourself a few doses of patience. Hold her as much as you can, put her down when you have to. It will get better. You'll figure each other out.
  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    Sariroo - I'd love to know how old your daughter is.

    My daughter was a crying machine until we switched her formula (which was around 3 months). Maybe it was the formula, maybe the change in her age, maybe a combo - but she's definitely not the screamer she once was.

    Have you tried putting her in a swing? Or have you tried putting her in a baby wrap/carrier/sling? I could usually get my daughter to stop crying by putting her in the swing with her pacifier or putting her in the sling with her pacifier. At that point, I'd have to carry her around all day.

    Like everyone else said, be patient, give yourself a lot of breathing - walk away for five/ten minutes if you need to. I promise this phase will pass!
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ITA w/ the others about probably it being a stage that will improve around 3 months. Until then, the book Happiest Baby on the Block helped us alot understanding why she was fussy and knowing how to soothe her. We also took turns with holding the fussy baby in the evening so that it wasn't all on my shoulders.

    As long as she is growing well and giving plenty of wet diapers, I wouldn't assume that when she nurses frequently she isn't getting anything. It could be a growth spurt, like madscientist said, or she may just need the comfort of sucking.

    Here is an article on kellymom about growth spurts.

    Here is an article about frequent nursing and there are some links at the bottom to other articles about fussiness.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    It sounds normal and you sound like you're doing great! Some babies just like to nurse a lot (I have one.) Just continue to nurse on cue and do what you're doing - I know it is exhausting so see what help you can get to rest as much as possible in that little time in between feeds, and know that this too shall pass.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thanks for all the replies. I should have said my baby is 4 weeks. I kind of felt like nothing was really wrong but wanted some input from experienced moms who know more about this stuff than I do.

    My husband is really good about taking the baby and us sharing the responsibilities but it is hard when I hold the milk and that is mostly what she wants. We really are trying everything. It just seems there is not one constant thing that helps the crying spells (except for the milk) but I'm being very patient and trying to remember that she won't be this age forever.

    Thanks for the Kellymom links - they look really helpful! Since hubby is home today I will get a chance to look at them and hopefully get some good tips.
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  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    sariroo wrote: »
    Thanks for all the replies. I should have said my baby is 4 weeks. I kind of felt like nothing was really wrong but wanted some input from experienced moms who know more about this stuff than I do.

    My husband is really good about taking the baby and us sharing the responsibilities but it is hard when I hold the milk and that is mostly what she wants. We really are trying everything. It just seems there is not one constant thing that helps the crying spells (except for the milk) but I'm being very patient and trying to remember that she won't be this age forever.

    Thanks for the Kellymom links - they look really helpful! Since hubby is home today I will get a chance to look at them and hopefully get some good tips.

    I went through this, too. Things went better when I just accepted it. (this is the way it is going to be for a little while) If you know she has had a really good feeding, leave her with your husband and disappear for a short time. My kids all sensed when I was still in the house and it made it difficult for my husband to comfort them. When I left for a short while, it was better for him.
  • MagooMagoo Posts: 2,173Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My son went through this also. He was a very, very fussy baby. It started around 3-4 weeks. It's like one day he just snapped out of the sleepy newborn phase. Like your little girl, the one thing that saved me mentally was that he slept well at night and would only wake to nurse but during the day he would mostly cat nap for 20-30 minutes and then spend every waking minute either fussing or crying. I couldn't put him down at all. I was nursing so often to soothe him that he was spitting up all the time.

    I agree with one of the previous posters about the overtired thing. It was very hard for me to read his tired cues so by the time I figured out he was tired, it would be too late and he'd go off the deep end and it would be harder to calm him or get him to fall asleep. Even now at age 3 I can't let him get overtired or he's too wired to go to bed at his usual bedtime.

    I also found that he would meltdown whenever he became overstimulated. What I would do was take him into our bathroom that has no windows turn off the lights and turn on the exhaust fan for white noise and rock him in there until he calmed down. Blocking out all the stimulation seemed to calm him down.
    This phase does eventually pass sooner or later.
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  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I wanted to add, since you may not be able to look at the Happiest Baby book anytime soon, the author says that it's a combination of five things that calm babies in this stage, called the 5 S's: swaddle, laying on side or tummy, sucking (breast or pacifier), shhh (white noise), and swinging (bouncing, jiggling, or other movement). The white noise needs to be loud and the movement pretty vigorous. The goal is to mimic the environment they were used to in the womb.

    For example, I would swaddle or wear Lydia while dancing around the house and shushing in her ear. Or you could swaddle, nurse, shush, and bounce on an exercise ball at the same time.

    I found the book to be fascinating, and running through the 5 S's helped us out alot when she was upset.
  • deezee02deezee02 Posts: 1,509Registered Users
    Steven went through this also...the ONLY thing that worked was the vacume, swaddling and his swing...At the same time. I wore out a brand new vacume to keep my sanity lol.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    sariroo...I've got the happiest baby & toddler [when you get to that point! ;)] videos I'd be happy to send you..it is tough...hang it there!
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I think our babies are about the same age. I'm in a similar boat and this baby is fussier than my first. My midwife suggested that I take acidopholous / digestive enzymes and apparently they do make infant probiotics. That may help with digestive issues.

    Also it's frekin cold here sometimes and I think the baby inherited my dislike of cold. He seems to be the happiest when he's wearing his snowsuit getup where there's a hood built into the one piece. Maybe you can swaddle so it includes the head.
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  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    sariroo...I've got the happiest baby & toddler [when you get to that point! ;)] videos I'd be happy to send you..it is tough...hang it there!

    pm'ing you!
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  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    webjockey wrote: »
    Also it's frekin cold here sometimes and I think the baby inherited my dislike of cold. He seems to be the happiest when he's wearing his snowsuit getup where there's a hood built into the one piece. Maybe you can swaddle so it includes the head.

    That is funny that you mention that because putting her in her snowsuit is one of the things she seems to really enjoy! At first we thought she just liked the feel of the soft fuzzy inner layer but soon realized that she loves to be really warm.

    She did really well over the weekend with hubby and I taking turns with each crying spell. I was able to bake stuff for the holidays and we had movie & pizza night which helped to save our sanity by taking our minds off the fussiness. I think like RCW said I'm learning her and she is learning us and it is getting easier to deal with.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    sariroo wrote: »
    sariroo...I've got the happiest baby & toddler [when you get to that point! ;)] videos I'd be happy to send you..it is tough...hang it there!

    pm'ing you!
    wileeemailpic1ub3.jpg
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • naiha1naiha1 Posts: 209Registered Users
    Wow!! I really feel for you. First I commend you cause your doin great with handling it all. I have a similar problem with the exception being my baby does have the explosive throwing up at times. At around the same age my daughter was extremerly fussy too. It'slikeit wouldstart around the same time every night or late afternoon. One thing I learned was that colic is often an indication of reflux. Not saying that that's what it is, but turned out my little one has reflux. If you feel that she's not throwing up that much, I would watch her during feedings and after. Is she just fussy allday or does it revolve more around and after feedings. When you go see your doctor just havve lots of details. Doctors tend ignore all the other stuff as long as their gaining weight.
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  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    i recommend this book a lot here, because it genuinely helped me so very much, especially during those first weeks/months, so here's another recommendation for aletha solter's the aware baby.

    she talks about how babies have a biological need to cry to release stress hormones (stress can be a result of a difficult birth or pregnancy, over stimulation, being on the cusp of developmental milestones, etc.) she recommends something called the 'crying in arms' technique wherein you hold and listen to them cry with empathy (assuming you've determined nothing is physically wrong). sometimes when they need to cry and we distract them from their feelings with rocking, shushing, 'comfort' nursing, pacifiers, etc. they can suppress it but eventually the need will resurface or come out in other ways.

    this understanding has been so helpful to me, and i highly recommend the book.

    good luck,

    m

    ps - also wanted to second what webbie said - once we figured out that lydia got extra cold, and so bundled her up extra warm - always a tshirt underneath her other clothes, socks always, and hats often those first weeks, and often swaddling her she was more comfortable and cried less.
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    :( I remember that 4th week. All of a sudden, my little girl got her nights and days mixed up. It felt like she'd cry all night sometimes. I was a wreck.

    It sounds like you're doing great! Keep her nice and cozy and keep letting daddy help. Don't forget to take care of yourself! :)
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  • SisaSisa Posts: 759Registered Users
    webjockey wrote: »
    My midwife suggested that I take acidopholous / digestive enzymes and apparently they do make infant probiotics. That may help with digestive issues.

    My son was really fussy and spitting up quite a bit a few weeks ago (9 weeks old or so), so I tried the infant probiotic (and 1/2 cup plain yougourt daily for me!) for the heck of it. I really believe it's helped. He's spitting up much, much less now.

    At the very least, it hasn't hurt. :)
  • curly_keltiecurly_keltie Posts: 791Registered Users
    Big Hugs! I know it is so tough when they're crying and you have done everything you can think of. I called Health Link one night (after his immunizations) when DS wouldn't stop crying unless I was bouncing him, and they told me as long as he is consolable, he is fine and that one of us would wear out first.
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