How do you balance family and time for self?

SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
After recent events of catching pneumonia, I realized that I just haven't been taking care of myself at all. Everything revolves around my baby and keeping the house in order. So now it's time to change all that. I can't be a good mommy or partner if I'm sick; therefore, I will consciously make time for prayer and to do things that serve me solely.

How do you balance your family and time to yourself? Do you do pamper yourself haphazardly or do you schedule in an hour each day, or appoint one day out of the week to just be to yourself? What do you do to keep yourself joyful?

Comments

  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I value nap time and after bed time as gold. Sometimes that means napping with my baby to catch up on sleep or watching a movie in the evening. Most of the time that means working on my master's project (which I love, so to me that counts as me time). I try to never do something during those times that I could easily do while she plays on the floor or is in her wrap on me. I've found that I can do most chores while wearing her. It may be somewhat awkward, but I'd rather get it done awdwardly while she's awake than waste naptime on it.
  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I'm working on it too. If you're BF - pump and have others feed. Ask for help. Often. Be shameless.
    hello.world.
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Posts: 3,778Registered Users
    On weekends, DH stays home with DD so I go out for lunch and run errands. It's a nice chance to be quiet and read for a bit.

    During the week, DD goes to bed early, so I read or am on-line for an hour or so before I go to bed.

    DH and I have lunch once a week. We call it our date. :) Since DD goes to bed so early, DH and I usually have dinner together every night.
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • naiha1naiha1 Posts: 209Registered Users
    I have renamed the upstairs attic :"The Sanctuary!" What ever time I get when my baby's not screaming her head off (acid reflux :( ) I go up there to meditate, pray read amagazine anything. Life is so drastically differnt when you have a child. I am learning that some semblance of peace can be obtained in 15 minutes. As far as time with the hubby I can give no advice on that as of now:disgust:
    Happy, Nappy, and Kinky 24/7!!
    4/b very coily
  • MagooMagoo Posts: 2,173Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It is definitely hard to find time for yourself once you're a mom. My advice is whatever you decide to do for yourself, don't let yourself feel guilty. Mommy guilt is awful. I sometimes find myself beating myself up for taking the time to work out or do something that's just for me but I remind myself that I need it in order to be a better/happier mom and wife. I get pretty crabby when I don't get my me time.;-)
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
    Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

    Experimenting with BRHG

    "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
  • mayimmayim Posts: 2,301Registered Users
    once a week or once every two weeks, i pump a bottle and have her papa take her out and about for a few hours on the weekend ... i do yoga, do my toes, vacuum naked, whatever - as long as i'm alone and it's quiet!

    i also grocery shop alone, and stake my claim on a few hours of exercise alone a week.

    i take a long bubble bath before bed a few nights a week.

    sometimes the house gets a bit crazy looking during the week, but then we both pitch in and get it shipshape together on the weekends. i also find that if i am really economical with my time, it gets easier to squeeze the 'me' time in where i need to.

    if i shop, eat, sleep and exercise well, take my vitamins and care for myself, i have more vitality to take care of all the meeeeelions of things life requires of me.

    i sometimes have to really demand this time to myself, but as i work (in a giving profession), nurse, and am the chief household manager, i really need and deserve it (and quickly become a wreck without it) so i do.

    i have to get better at getting to bed earlier, though.

    m
    coarse, thick 3a
    modified cg



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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    cup of coffee, 30 minutes of reading, and taking a deep breath

    soak in a hot tub

    go for a 30 minute walk, eat right, and take your vitamins - sleep enough even if the house work doesn't all get done. You'll always have dirty socks to pick up but won't be able get back the lost sleep.

    have dad/grandmother/friend babysit and go out for a few hours - get a massage/pedicure or something as equally relaxing
  • mad scientistmad scientist Posts: 3,530Registered Users
    Its a constant struggle.

    With my first, we were flexible about bedtime but I would get some time to myself either in the morning or at naptime. I would also take care of my needs first (take a shower, eat a meal etc... and then tackle any housework that needed to be done.

    By the time my second was born and my first started preschool, bedtime became much more structured: 7:30pm and both kids are in bed. That gives me at least a couple of hours of me or us time every evening.

    On Saturday night, after the kids are in bed, DH and I cook a nice grown up dinner with wine and watch a video.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    the munchkin spends the night at her grandparents house on saturdays, so i get at least 18 hrs of time to recharge.

    enlist the help of daddy (or the grandparents again).

    make myself go to bed early.

    sometimes i hide. seriously. i'll tell my SO i have to go to work and hide at my parents house. or i'll tell my parents i need to run some errands and then go home and take a nap. i find that if i tell them what im really doing, then they interrupt or rush me along.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    I love to read, so when DD goes to bed, I usually pull out a good book. Sometimes I take a nice bubble bath, too.

    Occasionally, I do have days when I'm really frazzled. That's when I hand DD over to DH after dinner and go to Barnes and Noble. I get a mocha, browse for a bit, and feel much better.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • SimbathekatSimbathekat Posts: 140Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    the munchkin spends the night at her grandparents house on saturdays, so i get at least 18 hrs of time to recharge.

    enlist the help of daddy (or the grandparents again).

    make myself go to bed early.

    sometimes i hide. seriously. i'll tell my SO i have to go to work and hide at my parents house. or i'll tell my parents i need to run some errands and then go home and take a nap. i find that if i tell them what im really doing, then they interrupt or rush me along.

    This is a really great idea!!! Sending your daughter to her grandparents for the weekend! My mom has kept Jonna since last Wednesday and she told me that she'd be will to keep her a lot. So maybe every other weekend I can drop her off at my parents' or my sister's house and have some down time that way! I'm really excited about this!!!
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    I hear you - it is tough. Solomon often needs me to nurse/lay with him while he sleeps, so sometimes I feel like I can't even take a long bath or go out while he's sleeping, for fear that he'll wake up still tired and won't be able to get back to sleep without me.

    That said, what I do for myself without him: I teach Yoga two nights a week, which has me out of the house for about 1.5 hours. DH plays with him and gets him his bath, and I'm home just in time for bedtime. I work a floor shift at my gym on Saturday mornings for 4 hours, during which time I leave DH with some pumped milk. I also make it a priority to catch a workout on Sunday mornings, also when DH can be home with him. I'm in and out of the gym pretty quickly, so I'm not gone for too long.

    Also, I'll admit that I'm not very good at keeping house and sometimes rank "me time" above getting things done, when Solomon naps during the day (hence, me playing on the internet right now when I could be cleaning).
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    Usually I have to leave the house for substantial "me" time. Or else my husband will take our daughter to his parents' for the day or overnight and I get a break then. We also left our daughter with her grandparents for a weekend and that is a nice break. But mostly I have to leave the house. And it was much harder to make a break for it when I was still nursing.
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    I'm really good at this....

    - At least once a month, I skip out to a movie. All. By. Myself.
    - Once a week, I go to a yoga class, it might be on the weekends and SO will watch DD or I'll go while DD's in preschool.
    - 4 or 5 days a week, I walk or run with my dog for at least an hour, rain or shine, snow or sleet - I was out in 7 degree weather day before yesterday. This is my most important time, because I love the dawn of a new day
    - Once every few months, I skip out for a massage, then I'm gone for a half day, I'll visit the book store, have a coffee, relish the peace
    2b/3a.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    Also, I'll admit that I'm not very good at keeping house and sometimes rank "me time" above getting things done, when Solomon naps during the day (hence, me playing on the internet right now when I could be cleaning).

    Yeah, me, too. I'd rather read than mop any day.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    mayim wrote: »
    i also grocery shop alone, and stake my claim on a few hours of exercise alone a week.

    Funny you mention that because that's one of the demands I've made lately. I used to always take Dylan with me, but now that he's more mobile, he's no longer happy just hanging out on my back the whole trip and I end up being rushed. So Monday evenings, I go to the grocery store and take as much time as I want.

    On weekends, DH gets up with the baby and they go to Dunkin Donuts to get coffee before they come back and wake me up.

    I really need to get better about creating "me" time because between this pregnancy, being sick a lot, and the increasing demands of an active toddler, my mental health is really suffering lately.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • inheritedcurlsinheritedcurls Posts: 2,954Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Wow, this is so good to hear...I need to make more me time. I find it harder now with two kiddos. I'm back at work as of today...so it's going to be even harder. I now know why my sister works out at 5:00 a.m.....this is when I'm going to have to do it as well. :)

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