Questions re: conception while nursing, tandem nursing, and having 2 kids

AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
I'm a planner so I have started thinking about having baby #2 (I would like 4, I think - my husband says 3 and we'll see about 4.)

There are several issues to be considered.

#1: I'm still nursing, with no signs of stopping, and I would rather not initiate weaning because my baby loves it so much. I would ideally like a break of no nursing before getting pregnant again but it's not looking like that is likely to happen and I guess that is selfish of me anyway.

I have heard that some people are able to get pregnant while nursing and others are not. What have been your experiences? I started charting and while I'm not sure the temps are accurate due to night nursing, I have more regular cycles than I did before and I think I am ovulating (I'm going to check with ovulation tests this month) but I don't have the cervical fluid I had before. Could that be a problem? I have heard things like grapefruit juice, green tea and Robitussin can increase CF - has anyone had luck with that? We want to try for a girl which means trying days before O but I need enough CF to keep the sperm alive in that time.

#2: Assuming I am able to get pregnant while nursing, what are some of the issues with tandem nursing? Is it likely that my supply will dry up and/or JJ will taste the hormones and self-wean? If not, I'd be nursing a probably 3 year old and a newborn - what do I need to know for that?

#3: The timing of this pregnancy is crucial, since I am now a student. I'm getting the itch for a baby now and if I were not in school I'd probably want to try (except I know my husband prefers a bigger spacing between babies.) However, my school year is September to April. Next year in my second year, there are mock trials in November, exams in December, and if I am eligible, clerkship interviews in Feb/March and then exams in April. There's also the issue that most second year law students have summer law jobs the summer after their second year. I would rather not do that which is why I am really hoping for a clerkship which would eliminate the need for articling and summer jobs, but I need top marks for that so need to concentrate a lot on school before then. I also have singing gigs lined up this summer, and I would like to go to Trinidad for Carnival in spring break 2010.

So I was thinking that having the baby in May/June 2010 would work best, assuming I am able to conceive in Aug/Sep of this year. I could then take summer 2010 off and have a 3-4 months off before my last year, which is going to be the easiest one, especially if I have a job lined up (I know there are a lot of "ifs" along the way.) However, that means if I got a clerkship interview, I could be 5-7 months pregnant and I'm not sure how that would look. Also, last pregnancy I was really sick and tired so I would have to get through an important semester for my marks possibly dealing with that, and getting less rest than I did the first time because of JJ and school.

How did you guys decide when to have #2?

#4: What is it like being pregnant with a VERY active toddler, and then having an active toddler and a newborn? Is it really, really hard? Any suggestions/tips?

I feel unsure because I don't want my kids spaced too far apart and if I don't have one at the timing I mentioned I'm not sure when it would be - and I still hope to have hopefully 2 more. I have a classmate who has 3 kids and is pregnant, but her husband gets a year paid paternity leave and her career goals are different from mine, plus she's had a really easy pregnancy. What are you guys' thoughts?
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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Comments

  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Amneris wrote: »
    #4: What is it like being pregnant with a VERY active toddler, and then having an active toddler and a newborn? Is it really, really hard? Any suggestions/tips?

    This is the only issue I can address. When baby #2 was born, I had a very active and rowdy 18-month-old. My husband was working for the first two weeks after his birth and not able to take vacation time. So we had my MIL stay with us for those two weeks to help. I couldn't have done it on my own. I had a very quick and uncomplicated birth, and I was just fine taking care of a newborn, but I couldn't have taken care of both. MIL mostly took care of our older son and freed me up to concentrate on the baby.

    The first time I was on my own with both kids, I was nervous and apprehensive of whether I could really take care of both of them, but it got easier. I've developed routines that help. For instance, in the morning, I almost always get Connor up, dressed, give him a cup of milk, then get the baby up and take care of him. Wearing the baby also helps me get things done.

    The hardest thing for me has been sleep deprivation from the little one waking up at night. We're getting better and better on that issue. My older son is a very good night sleeper, which is important--I don't think I could do it if I had two kids waking up at night.
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  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    Amneris wrote: »
    #4: What is it like being pregnant with a VERY active toddler, and then having an active toddler and a newborn? Is it really, really hard? Any suggestions/tips?

    This is the only issue I can address. When baby #2 was born, I had a very active and rowdy 18-month-old. My husband was working for the first two weeks after his birth and not able to take vacation time. So we had my MIL stay with us for those two weeks to help. I couldn't have done it on my own. I had a very quick and uncomplicated birth, and I was just fine taking care of a newborn, but I couldn't have taken care of both. MIL mostly took care of our older son and freed me up to concentrate on the baby.

    The first time I was on my own with both kids, I was nervous and apprehensive of whether I could really take care of both of them, but it got easier. I've developed routines that help. For instance, in the morning, I almost always get Connor up, dressed, give him a cup of milk, then get the baby up and take care of him. Wearing the baby also helps me get things done.

    The hardest thing for me has been sleep deprivation from the little one waking up at night. We're getting better and better on that issue. My older son is a very good night sleeper, which is important--I don't think I could do it if I had two kids waking up at night.

    +1 except Lex was 19 months old. I'm rarely with both kids by myself except in evening so it's not super stressful. MIL takes the 19 month old during the day while I'm on materinty leave so I can focus on the baby. The hard part was nursing during early pregnancy. I felt all the nutrition being sucked out of me. I especially felt it in my teeth. I can't stress enough proper nutrition and taking vitamins if you're going to BF while pregnant.

    DH's already talking about #3 but that one, if we go there, will have a 2 yr gap at least.
    hello.world.
  • shellibeanshellibean Posts: 4,500Registered Users
    We are also thinking of #2 but have 2 vacatiosn already planned out that I would prefer not to be pregnant for! So, it looks like we will start trying next November. i would have liked to try a little earlier, but already have stuff going (cruise,etc). I am also nervous a/b a wild man toddler and a newborn.
    A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

    "...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

    "I had an imaginary puppy, but my grandpa ate him."~Bailey
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    Amneris wrote: »
    #1: I'm still nursing, with no signs of stopping, and I would rather not initiate weaning because my baby loves it so much. I would ideally like a break of no nursing before getting pregnant again but it's not looking like that is likely to happen and I guess that is selfish of me anyway.

    How did you guys decide when to have #2?

    #4: What is it like being pregnant with a VERY active toddler, and then having an active toddler and a newborn? Is it really, really hard? Any suggestions/tips?

    I don't think it's selfish at all to want a break of no nursing before getting pregnant. That was how we spaced our two. To be honest, I did not even want another child while I was still nursing Ben, and even sex was pretty far from my mind. I weaned him at 25 months with very little resistance. He and his sister ended up being 3 1/2 years apart, which is working out OK so far. Ben had gotten to the point that he could really understand things like "Mommy needs to feed the baby right now and will play with you when she is done"
    Pregnancy #2 sucked for me. It was low risk, but was just much harder on my body in general. And all those things I did the first time to really enjoy the pregnancy like sleeping as much as possible and taking long baths and prenatal yoga, with a three-year-old you don't get to do that. With working full-time I found I had just enough time to get my work done, do the necessary household and childcare chores, go to my appointments and then collapse of sheer exhaustion. And that is with a very hands-on spouse who does more than his fair share.
    Also a little crazy with a baby and an active kid, but I just wore Nadia all the time and I could keep doing things around the house, and still take care of Ben.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Posts: 2,574Registered Users
    There are so many questions, I am not sure what to address. icon7.gif This is only my experience....

    I got pregnant twice while I was nursing toddlers, so yes it is possible.

    My first loved to nurse, and even though it is said your supply will dry up while you are pregnant, I swear there was milk every time she nursed. Being pregnant did not slow her nursing down at all. My second did not like to nurse as much when I was pregnant the third time. She was too busy trying to keep up with big sister. My oldest was 3 when I got pregnant with #3 and I had to start to draw the line, it was too much to be pregnant and nursing a 1 and 3 year old.

    If you can plan your babies out that is great. When we were first ready to "try" nothing happened. When we were not trying we ended up with 3. How did that happen? icon12.gif More power to you if you can time it the way you want.

    I found it difficult being pregnant with a toddler, active or not. If there is any possible way, line up help.

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