Spinoff: Changing last names...

sariroo

The thread about being old fashioned had me wondering what other people did/would do if they got married? I didn't change my last name and will probably hypenate my kids' last name (in the event that we have any). What did/or will you do?

I hope this poll shows up correctly, I have never posted one before. Sorry in advance for any mistakes.

Amneris

I currently just kept my last name, but I intend once there are children to follow the Hispanic tradition of premier apellido/segundo apellido (first name maiden name husband's last name, no hyphens.)

SCG

I'll probably change it. I see no reason why I would need to keep my maiden name.

Sarah

PartyHair

I took my husband's last name. I didn't even keep my maiden name as my middle name because I happen to adore the middle name my parents gave me and I didn't want to give it up. Also, this way, all three of my names have 5 letters, and both of my husband's names have 5 letters (he doesn't have a middle name at all). And I just like that symmetry, as silly as it seems.

Amneris

PartyHair wrote:

I took my husband's last name. I didn't even keep my maiden name as my middle name because I happen to adore the middle name my parents gave me and I didn't want to give it up. Also, this way, all three of my names have 5 letters, and both of my husband's names have 5 letters (he doesn't have a middle name at all). And I just lik that symmetry, as silly as it seems.

Why would you have to give up your middle name? Wouldn't you just be first name middle name maiden name husband's last name?

Rain

I changed to my husband's last name. It was easier to spell and pronounce.

msjoker

I kept my last name and I have my husband's last name. It's really cool because my last name is English and his is French. It goes really well together.

PartyHair

Amneris wrote:

PartyHair wrote:

I took my husband's last name. I didn't even keep my maiden name as my middle name because I happen to adore the middle name my parents gave me and I didn't want to give it up. Also, this way, all three of my names have 5 letters, and both of my husband's names have 5 letters (he doesn't have a middle name at all). And I just lik that symmetry, as silly as it seems.

Why would you have to give up your middle name? Wouldn't you just be first name middle name maiden name husband's last name?

The harsh-sounding, 3 syllable, 8 letter, highly Germanic maiden name just doesn't flow, with or without my "real" middle name.

mad scientist

I took my husband's last name and changed my middle name to my maiden name.

At work I hyphenate. Both my last names are short and so hyphenated they are still shorter than many other peoples one last name. I did this because I publish in my field and so I wanted a connection to my work/thesis that were pre-marriage and those after.

Scarlet

Had I married younger, I without question would have taken my husband's name. Now, being 37 and still single I think that if I ever marry, I'll keep my maiden name. Afterall, I've had it for a looooong time.

I'd never hyphenate. My Eastern European last name is difficult enough on its own.

geeky

I hyphenated. I was not really fully satisfied with any of the choices, I would probably have just kept my last name, but my husband is a big traditionalist and wanted me to take his name. So, I compromised. I still go mostly by my maiden name at work, and in social situations it depends.

Poodlehead

Amneris wrote:

PartyHair wrote:

I took my husband's last name. I didn't even keep my maiden name as my middle name because I happen to adore the middle name my parents gave me and I didn't want to give it up. Also, this way, all three of my names have 5 letters, and both of my husband's names have 5 letters (he doesn't have a middle name at all). And I just lik that symmetry, as silly as it seems.

Why would you have to give up your middle name? Wouldn't you just be first name middle name maiden name husband's last name?

That's me!

But it gets to be pretty long, so I only use it on official documents. I'm known as firstname husband's last name, and when I sign I'm first name middle initial husband's last name, and the maiden name gets completely dropped.

Sigi

I voted keep my maiden name. I have been married almost four years and haven't changed it yet. I plan to add his last name to mine. So I will be first name middle name maiden name married name. That way, I can use which ever I want. If my credit cards still have maiden name on them, no problem. Checks with married name, no problem. I like both names and would hate to give up my maiden name. We'll see. Maybe by the time I get around to changing my name, I'll have changed my mind.

Josephine

I would keep mine..don't see any reason to change it.

Mip

I'm not sure what I would do. I personally would not want a double barrelled name. I wouldn't mind getting rid of my surname (for personal reasons) but if my husband had a surname that was horrible/embarassing or rhymed with my name, I would keep mine.

mad scientist

Sigi wrote:

I plan to add his last name to mine. So I will be first name middle name maiden name married name. That way, I can use which ever I want. If my credit cards still have maiden name on them, no problem. Checks with married name, no problem. I like both names and would hate to give up my maiden name. We'll see. Maybe by the time I get around to changing my name, I'll have changed my mind.

That's what happened with me. I've been married for 6 years and I still have stuff in my maiden name, including my passport. When things expire then I think about getting the name changed... I'm just always sure to carry my marriage certificate with me when I travel.

I was ambivalent about DH and I having the same name. But I do really like the fact that my son and I have the same name.

Amneris

Poodlehead wrote:

Amneris wrote:

PartyHair wrote:

I took my husband's last name. I didn't even keep my maiden name as my middle name because I happen to adore the middle name my parents gave me and I didn't want to give it up. Also, this way, all three of my names have 5 letters, and both of my husband's names have 5 letters (he doesn't have a middle name at all). And I just lik that symmetry, as silly as it seems.

Why would you have to give up your middle name? Wouldn't you just be first name middle name maiden name husband's last name?

That's me!

But it gets to be pretty long, so I only use it on official documents. I'm known as firstname husband's last name, and when I sign I'm first name middle initial husband's last name, and the maiden name gets completely dropped.

Girl, I already have five names, and they're all long!

System

I changed my middle name to my maiden name and took my husbands name. 8)

dia99

Changed it. I don't think there's a right/wrong answer for this. I did it as symbolic that I believe he should be head of the household and "the two shall become one." I could still view him as head of household and keep my name, though. I guess I'm old fashioned about that, too.

SuZen

I would keep my own name. It's easier to spell and pronounce than my BF's name. And I've had it for a long time. And we don't have kids.

PartyHair

SuZen wrote:

I would keep my own name. It's easier to spell and pronounce than my BF's name. And I've had it for a long time. And we don't have kids.

Yeah, it does help that my husband's last name is far easier to spell and pronounce than my maiden name, plus it's just prettier. I was just telling him over the wekeend that if he'd had a last name like Echevarria I wouldn't've been able to take it because I can't say it right.

gemidevi

Although I plan to hyphenate my husband's name with mine, our children will most likely take on his last name. It just seems easier that way.

Poodlehead

Guano question for people who DON'T take their husband's name. What are my kids supposed to call you? If your kid has a different last name, are you Mrs. husband's last name, or Ms. maiden name?

Amneris

Poodlehead wrote:

Guano question for people who DON'T take their husband's name. What are my kids supposed to call you? If your kid has a different last name, are you Mrs. husband's last name, or Ms. maiden name?

Ms. Maiden Name.

Poodlehead

Amneris wrote:

Poodlehead wrote:

Guano question for people who DON'T take their husband's name. What are my kids supposed to call you? If your kid has a different last name, are you Mrs. husband's last name, or Ms. maiden name?

Ms. Maiden Name.

See, to me that's confusing.

I don't mind calling you Jane Smith, but if your son is Joe Jackson, I'd rather my kids call you Mrs. Jackson, so they know who you are in relation to your child, who they already know.

jeepcurlygurl

Not a big surprise, since I'm one of the non-old fashioned folks - I did not would not will not change my name. My names go together well and I 'look' like my last name (if I looked like my mother's side and it went well with my first name I would have changed my last name to her maiden name).
I can be introduced as Ms. So and so. And once I have met someone (adult or child) I do prefer to be addressed by my first name. I don't find it disrepectful at all.

SCG

Since we're already (sort of) on the topic...

I have a friend whose mother was recently divorced because her husband was abusive. My friend still goes by that last name, but I have no idea if her mother does. She's now dating, so should I call her Mrs. Last name of ex-husband, or what?

I'm always sort of embarassed to ask people how I'm supposed to address them.

Sarah

Po

Keep my maiden name.

I have a very Hispanic name and an English name sounds horrible with my name. I also already have 4 names and don't want to give any of them up. Five names is too much for me.

Children will have my last name as one of their middle names. For example my son's name is Daric Jose mylastname dadslastname.

Amneris

Poodlehead wrote:

Amneris wrote:

Poodlehead wrote:

Guano question for people who DON'T take their husband's name. What are my kids supposed to call you? If your kid has a different last name, are you Mrs. husband's last name, or Ms. maiden name?

Ms. Maiden Name.

See, to me that's confusing.

I don't mind calling you Jane Smith, but if your son is Joe Jackson, I'd rather my kids call you Mrs. Jackson, so they know who you are in relation to your child, who they already know.

Right, but my kid would be Joe Smith Jackson, so they would get the connection....

Who Me?

I don't agree with a woman changing her name when she gets married. It's my opinion, and obviously a lot of you don't agree with me, and that's fine! I think a name is more important that what sound pretty or flows the best: to me, a name is a symbol of your identity. (and my name is pretty darn common, which I don't like, but I still think of it this way). In my views, changing your name is giving up/changing your identity. When a woman gets married I believe she should still be her, but more and better....not different and/or less. I know a lot of you who believe in name changing agree with this, but to me the name thing is representative of it.

So, that being said, I will keep my own name. My children can hyphenate or take both (my last name is very simple, so if I marry someone with a simple last name we will likely do one of these), or take the husbands name. I will know my kids are mine, I don't feel the need to stamp them with the label of my name.

And now, and when I'm married, if your child or any other human being needs to address me formally they can call me "Ms. MyLastName".



Aside: I also don't like the use of "Mrs." or "Miss". I don't think it's anyone's business if a woman is married or not, and it should therefore not be used as part of your name!

SuZen

Since we're already (sort of) on the topic...

I have a friend whose mother was recently divorced because her husband was abusive. My friend still goes by that last name, but I have no idea if her mother does. She's now dating, so should I call her Mrs. Last name of ex-husband, or what?

I'm always sort of embarassed to ask people how I'm supposed to address them.

Sarah

Why not ask your friend what to call her mother?

Sometimes divorced women do keep their ex-husband's last name if it's the same as the name of the kids.

I always thought my friend's girlfriend was Irish because of her last name, but it turned out to be her ex's name, and she was actually Russian.

Edited to quote the post I was referring to.