You know, there are times when I wish I was not a parent...

WileE-DeadWileE-Dead BannedBanned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
My apologies, I'm just being honest here...
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  • KaiaKaia Registered Users Posts: 8,815 Curl Connoisseur
    (((HUGS)))
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Registered Users Posts: 31,259 Curl Connoisseur
    It passes. Eventually, you get to a point where you don't remember what it was like to not be a parent.

    Then, you get like me and wish they would just grow up and move out already. Sometimes, I just can't wait to be an empty-nester.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    I think we all have those times (at least, I do).

    Hugs!
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    :boxing: Days like this are tough. Hang in there, WileE. Big hugs to you.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Hugs Chicky
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • fuzzbucketfuzzbucket Registered Users Posts: 996 Curl Connoisseur
    We've all been there and probably all will be there again at times. Hugs! (and maybe a glass of wine?)
    Hair type: 3A/B
    I lurk, therefore, I am.
    My Blog
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    I am right there with you. Doesn't mean you are a bad mother--in fact I think we should be able to say this out loud just as much as when we discuss the good, fun and rewarding parts of being a parent. It's not all puppies and rainbows. ;)

    Hope you're feeling better today.
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    I adore my kids, but a little tiny part of me will always wish I wasn't a parent. I know all the things I gave up/am giving up to have kids. It's all worth it to me, but that does not mean I don't miss those things. I don't think anyone is a bad mother for feeling that way.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • Aphro-DeeziacAphro-Deeziac Registered Users Posts: 983
    count me in too. youre just sometimes sooo friggin tired and pulled sooo many ways you forget you were a woman before you were someones wife and mother. I know i really wish i had given pre- married/motherhooded up (lol) afro more of a chance. I think she would have been awesome. Not that im not awesome now, but Id have liked to see who she would have become with a lil more growing time.
    26560_1412644406072_1531382664_31035658_3971206_n.jpg
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Banned Users Posts: 24,963 Curl Neophyte
    Thanks everyone :)
    I've just got a lot on my plate right now. It seems to have snowballed. I'm ready for things to calm down a bit.
    I'm grateful to be able to come here to vent & get the support I need.
    I do long for before & am glad to know it's normal & not feel like I'm a bad person for saying it out loud, ya know?
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Registered Users Posts: 4,476 Curl Connoisseur
    Totally normal and ok. I have those days, too, and sometimes they stretch into a couple days. Then it gets better again.
    There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
  • ruralcurlsruralcurls Registered Users Posts: 2,574
    I feel the same way, some days are harder than others.
  • CaleilaniCaleilani Registered Users Posts: 728
    Count me in too.I've said this to my BFFs many times this year(alot going on).But,I guess it's normal for us to feel this way too.
    3B-3C, alittle past tailbone length,age:41 years
  • webjockeywebjockey Registered Users Posts: 2,786
    You're only human. (((hugs)))
    hello.world.
  • cajuncurlscajuncurls Registered Users Posts: 270
    Sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing here in baby mode again ... I was almost home free with a 14 year old and an 18 year old!
    Then I started all over again and now I'll have two babies 17 months apart!
    But when I see Elli's gap-toothed baby smile and smell her sweet freshly-shampooed (still) bald baby head, I know I wouldn't miss this for the world.
    Did you do it for love? Did you do it for money? Did you do it for spite? Did you think you had to, honey?
    - Eagles

    age.png


    age.png
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Ah, there are times I want to put the kiddo and all the cats in a box marked "free" and leave them in front of Walmart. *hugs*
  • realisticrealistic Registered Users Posts: 2,222 Curl Novice
    Yeah, totally normal Wile. I hope things look up soon.
    Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not;
    and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board.
    -Henry David Thoreau
  • wavezncurlzwavezncurlz Registered Users Posts: 1,814
    I've seriously thought of putting my girls on e-bay some days. I totally understand what you are saying.
    HAIRCOLLAGE2010-1-1.jpg[

    mini-album w/ various styles for the past 10 years of natural hair:
    http://s29.photobucket.com/albums/c252/wavezncurlz/hair/
    password: curlzorwavez
  • usedtobeDayzieusedtobeDayzie Registered Users Posts: 78
    Ditto to a lot of what's been said. Kids are great fun to have around, but boy do they make life difficult. Sometimes I too pine for the kidless days again.
    ...but you can call me Dayzie.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    I do long for before & am glad to know it's normal & not feel like I'm a bad person for saying it out loud, ya know?

    It is nice to be able to say it out loud.

    During the first month after Lydia was born, I told DH that I felt like I'd finally gotten my dream job only to find out that I hated it. It made it even worse that when I went to the store (a colossal effort it seemed then) that all the mags showed Jamie Lynn Spears holding her baby with the headline "Being a mom is the best feeling in the world."
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Registered Users Posts: 3,778
    I'm sorry, Wile. I hope things get better soon.
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    It is nice to be able to say it out loud.

    During the first month after Lydia was born, I told DH that I felt like I'd finally gotten my dream job only to find out that I hated it. It made it even worse that when I went to the store (a colossal effort it seemed then) that all the mags showed Jamie Lynn Spears holding her baby with the headline "Being a mom is the best feeling in the world."

    Well, the mags are not gonna say "I slept for 2 hours last night, I am wearing a maxi pad the size of a diaper, and this is the 4th outfit I put on this morning because the first three are covered with projectile baby cheese, and all this WITH a full-time nanny" but you know that's what she was thinking anyway.

    It's like there is this conspiracy to only talk about the puppies and rainbows part of parenting, and the more people talk about the puppies and rainbows, the suckier you feel for feeling mole rats and thunderclouds instead. So you make a big show of talking about only the good stuff, and the cycle goes on.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    Felicity Huffman did an interview with 60 minutes a few years back and I will never forget this (it was at the very end of the piece):
    Huffman has two little girls, but gives a surprising answer when asked if motherhood is the best experience in her life.

    "No, no, and I resent that question," Huffman says. "Because I think it puts women in an untenable position, because unless I say to you, 'Oh, Lesley, it's the best thing I've ever done with my whole life,' I'm considered a bad mother. And just when I said no you, you went back."

    Does she think she is a good mother?

    "I don't know if I'm a good mother," Huffman says.

    "You're not there enough or you're not patient enough or …" Stahl says.

    "I'm there enough. I don't know if I'm patient enough, though, you know, I don't know if I'm teaching them the right things," says Huffman.
    I was so glad to hear someone famous give an honest answer and call out the interviewer for asking a loaded question.
  • geekygeeky Registered Users Posts: 4,995
    I remember that interview, gemini. And remember being thrilled with FH.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    It was so refreshing. Along that line, shortly after we announced I was pregnant, my father-in-law said, "well, are you just thrilled?" As if motherhood was the pinnacle of my existence.

    I wanted to bonk him on the head. I think my answer amounted to, "probably as thrilled as you were when you first learned about (DH)." My husband was unplanned and he and MIL were very young and not married at the time. :lol:
  • MagooMagoo Registered Users Posts: 2,173 Curl Neophyte
    With all the big deal made over baby bumps and celebrities having kids, it's like motherhood has been turned into this glorified, almost god like status. Not fair for the rest of us that are just trying to get by day to day and do the best that we can.
    I feel like nobody every really tells you how incredibly difficult parenting can be.
    We're in the throes of full blown horrific 3's right now(terrible 2's were nothing compared to this) and somedays I can so relate!
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
    Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

    Experimenting with BRHG

    "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Registered Users Posts: 1,353 Curl Neophyte
    geeky wrote: »
    Well, the mags are not gonna say "I slept for 2 hours last night, I am wearing a maxi pad the size of a diaper, and this is the 4th outfit I put on this morning because the first three are covered with projectile baby cheese, and all this WITH a full-time nanny" but you know that's what she was thinking anyway.

    :laughing1:

    I try to be honest when people ask me how I like being a mom, telling them I like it most (not all) of the time, but that it's the hardest adjustment I've ever made.
  • marielle448marielle448 Registered Users Posts: 1,823
    Only fellow moms (or parents) understand. The last thing you need is to vent and get, "well then why'd you have them?" or a "there there it can't be that bad".

    Independent of everything else the age of three almost broke me. ;-)
  • MagooMagoo Registered Users Posts: 2,173 Curl Neophyte
    Only fellow moms (or parents) understand. The last thing you need is to vent and get, "well then why'd you have them?" or a "there there it can't be that bad".

    Independent of everything else the age of three almost broke me. ;-)


    OMG! I totally agree!
    3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
    Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

    Experimenting with BRHG

    "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
  • StarmieStarmie Registered Users Posts: 7,169 Curl Virtuoso
    Hearing you loud and clear. Things have been good around here for quite a while then suddenly it all goes pear-shaped.
    3b in South Australia.

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