Another Girl Trying to Set up My Husband!

KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
So....my hubby's brother has a girlfriend same age as me (I'm 25). She's very spoiled....loudly deems herself a "princess," but very sweet and kind to people's faces.:angel5: Proclaims that she never cooks or cleans, doesn't want a full-time job (which is fine).

However, she has been very nice to me, given me things, and I reciprocate the kindness cause I feel (well I did) she is geniune. For some reason, hubby doesn't think too much of her and thinks she's a b*tch. I ignore this cause he has his own opinion and I have mine.

Not too long ago I went out of town to visit my family for a couple weeks. Hubby goes to a bar with his brother and 'princess.' One night hubby calls me to inform me that she spent the entire night trying to set him up!!!!:eek: She calls another girl to their table and says, "Hey this girl would be a great match for you! Don't you think he's cute?" Apparently she had been trying to get them to hook up all night!! :banghead: And it didn't stop their, she INVITED one of her friends out to his place as a potential.

Of course hubby tells her to cut it out and tells the girl he's married. But WHY would she does this?? WHY???

I have yet to see her....I don't WANT to see her.
But the next time I see them will be the family xmas dinner.

I call her a girl, cause in my mind she is clearly not a woman. I can't believe the immaturity and rudeness she displayed when I leave for just two weeks. WTF???

How would you handle this? I'm thinking of not saying anything as she was not sucessful in her attempts. What goes around comes around. But I may flaunt the fact that me and hubby are married and she's just a GF.

Even better...hubby's brother is taking her to Jamaica in a couple weeks. He's taken her to Cuba, Dominican, Mexico. Talk about spoiling her more than she needs. He's pretty stricken over her.:rolleyes:

Any thoughts? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

NetG, since you were so damn blunt on my other thread what would YOU do?? lol
Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
«1

Comments

  • pooks1213pooks1213 Posts: 211Registered Users
    I don't know what you should do, but I know if it was me, it would take A LOT of restraint to not punch her lights out...:angry3: I just can't get over the audacity of some people..
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Is there more to the story? Who does stuff like that? To a married man?

    Me? I'd talk to her...a nice long talk. You don't like me? You don't like Black girls? Too bad, sweet pea. Don't try to sabotage my marriage. And then throw in that karma bit.

    AND I'd warn hubby's bro to watch out too. If she'd pull this on his bro, what would she do to him? How could he be smitten with someone who'd do that? Tell him to leave her in Jamaica.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    Phoenix wrote: »
    Is there more to the story? Who does stuff like that? To a married man?

    Me? I'd talk to her...a nice long talk. You don't like me? You don't like Black girls? Too bad, sweet pea. Don't try to sabotage my marriage. And then throw in that karma bit.

    AND I'd warn hubby's bro to watch out too. If she'd pull this on his bro, what would she do to him? How could he be smitten with someone who'd do that? Tell him to leave her in Jamaica.

    That's what baffled me the most. We're married for almost a year....why the hell would she or anyone do this?? I guess in this day and age, marriages fall apart very often, so maybe she would ruin mine??

    More to the story....my husband never cared for her from the beginning. He always told me something did not sit right with him about her. So it's plausible that he told me the story to get me to agree with him. But I fully trust him and he has always been honest with me. And I would want to know if someone did something like that to me.

    She has confided some things to me. Like she drives a really nice car. Instead of buying it, she told me she worked for an investment banker that bought it for her....cause his 9 yr old son had a crush on her.

    Other than that, that's it...not sure if anyone pissed her off that day or what...
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • hmkennyhmkenny Posts: 1,467Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I think you should call her right now and confront her about it so as to avoid a confrontation at the holiday gatherings. Setting up your husband? WTF? I've never heard of such thing. Your DH is a keeper though. Bless his heart for telling you about it right away.
    3a/medium texture/normal porosity
  • briccagrlbriccagrl Posts: 540Registered Users
    hmkenny wrote: »
    I think you should call her right now and confront her about it so as to avoid a confrontation at the holiday gatherings. Setting up your husband? WTF? I've never heard of such thing. Your DH is a keeper though. Bless his heart for telling you about it right away.


    I agree. Call her or send her an email. This needs to be addressed before the Christmas gathering. That is just not the place to address this and would be very awkward.
    .png
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    NetG, since you were so damn blunt on my other thread what would YOU do?? lol

    I dunno. Are you going against a doctor's orders in this situation, too? :-p



    Personally, she sounds like a nutjob and I can't understand why your hubby's brother would want to date someone that disrespectful of others' relationships. I'm hoping he doesn't see her as someone to ever be more than a girlfriend, or even faithful, because someone who thinks that little of other people's vows surely wouldn't remain faithful herself.

    I have no clue what you do. I suppose attempt not to start WWIII, but I can see where it would be tempting...
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    She has confided some things to me. Like she drives a really nice car. Instead of buying it, she told me she worked for an investment banker that bought it for her....cause his 9 yr old son had a crush on her.

    Not buying that story. No boss buys his employee a car because his 9yo likes her. A boss buys his employee a car because they're sleeping together and he's paying her to keep her mouth shut (and her legs open).

    I see why she did that to you and your husband now. She's evil. Simple.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • melloweermelloweer Posts: 2,308Registered Users
    This is probably not what you want to do....and I'm not a fighter at all I swear, but just to scare the **** out of her I'd probably end up calling her up and telling her I knew about it and if she ever pulled that **** again I'd personally come over to her house and knock her the hell out. You shouldn't take my advice thought :) And honestly I would never go over and actually hit her, but I sure as hell would said it to mess with her. So spiteful....
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Is there more to the story?



    That's what I'm wondering too.

    Why wouldn't your husband and his brother put her in her place at the time?

    Somehow I think there was more involved, and just maybe your husband is slanting the story to his benefit and told you about it to either throw you off the track, or to get you on his side before someone else told you about his behavior.

    My husband is responsible for his own behavior. If someone were to disrespect our marriage like that, I would expect him to handle it at the time.
  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    Is there more to the story?



    That's what I'm wondering too.

    Why wouldn't your husband and his brother put her in her place at the time?

    Somehow I think there was more involved, and just maybe your husband is slanting the story to his benefit and told you about it to either throw you off the track, or to get you on his side before someone else told you about his behavior.

    My husband is responsible for his own behavior. If someone were to disrespect our marriage like that, I would expect him to handle it at the time.

    Well as I said in my original post...hubby told her to cut it out. So I'm not sure where you thought or read that he sat by the sidelines not doing anything....??

    I agree that he may have told me for his own benefit since he never cared for her....but, he has always been honest with me, and me with him. I fully trust him, fully secure in our marriage, and am glad he told me. He won't have me walking around like boo boo the fool thinking everything's peaches n cream when it's not.
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Just don't get involved. You and your husband need a mutual plan of just kind of ignoring her and being blandly nice then leaving if she gets out of hand. Think of her as the child she is. You wouldn't get all worked up at some child trying to start stuff, you'd look at each other, roll your eyes, and joke about it later. She's just a **** stirrer, don't encourage her. If you start calling her and acting crappy to her, you're just going to start a lot of family misery and if the brother is going to date her for a while, you do not want that. Rise above it.
    Why wouldn't your husband and his brother put her in her place at the time?

    Because the brother is in luuuuv and most of us try not to start major **** with our sibling's new SO if we can avoid it. Also, wouldn't you just be sort of in shock? Other than, Um, no thanks, I'm married - what can you do?
  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    I truly appreciate everyone's input.

    I thought about outing her in front of the family at the xmas dinner....

    Or just flaunting my being married to my hubby, or that we're close to our down payment on a condo, or that I'm raking in good money as a financial analyst for a major corporation.

    My hubby is half white, half latino (I'm mixed black/white) and she hates spanish culture and music. I could play the same game she did and bring a hot spanish girl over to meet hubby's brother. "Hey, just thought I'd return the favor."

    But, with my personality, I'll end up ignoring her. :-(

    At least I know not to trust her as far as I can throw her.
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I thought about outing her in front of the family at the xmas dinner....

    Or just flaunting my being married to my hubby, or that we're close to our down payment on a condo, or that I'm raking in good money as a financial analyst for a major corporation.

    My hubby is half white, half latino (I'm mixed black/white) and she hates spanish culture and music. I could play the same game she did and bring a hot spanish girl over to meet hubby's brother. "Hey, just thought I'd return the favor."

    But, with my personality, I'll end up ignoring her.

    That's good. All the other stuff is so childish and so exactly like what she's doing that you two would really deserve each other. And you don't want that.
  • CurlyQ LinkCurlyQ Link Posts: 36Registered Users
    You are married and go out of town to visit family for a couple of weeks w/o hubby?

    J/W
    my boyfriend's thang
    is not very big around
    but damn !
    it sure is short
  • BoomygrrlBoomygrrl Posts: 4,940Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Getting a car from her ex-boss seems strange. This woman is irresponsible and doesn't seem to care about anybody's feelings but her own.
    You and hubby need to talk about disassociating with her on a social level (i.e., don't go to parties or bars with her). Only associate with her in the context of family get-togethers.
    I think it would be a good idea to have a talk with her. Tell her that you know what happened. See what her response is. Does she admit to it? Does she deny it? Does she try to explain herself out of being responsible for it (i.e., I was drunk, I don't remember, it was a joke, etc.). Either way, see what she says...no matter how much she might sweet talk, do not try to be friends with her. Let her know you don't trust her, and walk away from that conversation.
    After that point, hold your husband to his dislike from her at the very beginning--which means he needs to take responsibility to not hang out with her either.
    Since her husband's brother was there when it happened, he's a big boy, if he still wants to date her, that's his own business.
    That's right, I said it! I wear scrunchies!!

    I am a sulfate washing, cone slabbing, curly lovin' s.o.b. The CG police haven't caught me yet.
    :blob8:

    3a/3b
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm very curious about your BIL's reaction also. What did he say?

    And the GF couldn't have POSSIBLY thought your DH would appreciate her matchmaking. Did she really think he wouldn't tell you? Or that her BF would be happy about it?

    It makes me wonder what she was really trying to accomplish. Is she trying to get the BF to break up with her?
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    Phoenix wrote: »
    I'm very curious about your BIL's reaction also. What did he say?

    And the GF couldn't have POSSIBLY thought your DH would appreciate her matchmaking. Did she really think he wouldn't tell you? Or that her BF would be happy about it?

    It makes me wonder what she was really trying to accomplish. Is she trying to get the BF to break up with her?

    I honestly don't know what my BIL was thinking. He IS the type to stay out of people's business and keep conflict to a minimum....and he will defend her to the core. So he probably just left it alone and decided to let my hub deal with it.

    I don't know what she thought she was accomplishing....more conflict and confirming her position on my husband's bad side maybe.

    Sigh....we'll see what happens at the xmas dinner....will keep posted.
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    Also Phoenix, I do think she wants to be with my BIL (not trying to get him to break it off), I think she loves him. He makes good money, decent looking guy, family oriented, intelligent. But I think she's the type to feel he is lucky to have her, not the other way around. She is pretty selfish....

    And I agree about the car story....that was a story she should not have told me...
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • bushyheadbushyhead Posts: 1,676Registered Users
    That would enrage me to the point that I would HAVE to say something to put this b*tch in her place or it would eat me up inside. I might also find a way to casually let the family members know what she did prior to the x-mas dinner.

    That is beyond messed up. If you and your hubby were dating, and she didn't like you for whatever reason, I MIGHT be able to comprehend how someone could do that. But the fact that you are married makes it absolutely unforgivable.
    tt2b5cc.aspx

    "Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift . . . that's why it's called the present." - Unknown
  • egyptiancurls89egyptiancurls89 Posts: 607Registered Users
    you know what i think you should do? lol.....next time you see her find a few mins to pull her aside....just say hey can you come here for a sec i gotta talk to you in private....then just explain that you dont really appreciate the fact that she tried to set your husband up with another woman...well this is what id say lol...
    well i just wanted to tell you face to face that i really dont appreciate you trying to set my husband up with another woman. im not sure who you think you are trying to break up a marriage or whatever it is you think your doing but its not appreciated or welcomed by me or my husband and im sure your boy friend, seeing is how he's close to his brother, wouldn't appreciate your behavior either.
    ya know something like that lol...but dont be afraid to confront her...you have nothing to be intimidated or scared by..
    3B~Fine, porus, and really long
    HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB :toothy10:
    :farao:Proud To Be Egyptian!
    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
  • mandyvmandyv Posts: 2,437Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    very sweet and kind to people's faces.:angel5:

    Why does she do this? You said she's very nice and sweet to people's faces, but those kinds of falsely overly nice people are the first ones to practice treachery. She may mildly psychotic. She sounds nutty as heck to me.

    I wouldn't know how to tell you how to handle her. Let your husband handle her and you could just be coldly polite to her but call her on her bs when you experience it, firmly and politely.
    3c
    Poo: KBB shampoo bar or Shikai moisturizing shampoo
    CoWash: VO5 kiwi
    Cond: Robert Craig, Tresemme Natural, or Fekkai Shea Butter
    Leave in/Styling: Grapeseed oil, KBB milk, KCCC, and Aveda Confixor
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Posts: 628Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You weren't there, but your husband was.

    He should have put her in her place. Immediately. Nipped it in the bud before she brought a woman over to your house when you were not there.

    He did not (if he did, the woman wouldn't have been at your house when you were not there).
    [FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]
    [/FONT]
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    However, she has been very nice to me, given me things, and I reciprocate the kindness cause I feel (well I did) she is genuine. For some reason, hubby doesn't think too much of her and thinks she's a b*tch. I ignore this cause he has his own opinion and I have mine.

    Maybe you should heed your husband's opinion in the future...
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I would have to say something to her before the holiday gathering. If she, your BIL, or husband gets upset, then that's their problem. She was so in the wrong & it says a lot about who she is. At least she will know that your husband told you about this. Why tippy toe around this woman. The BIL should have seen her for who she is, but it sounds like he is too whipped to want to see it. As Barney Fife would say, "Nip It In The Bud."
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • TillyMunchyWavesTillyMunchyWaves Posts: 671Registered Users
    Why put so much stock in what this crazy b-- does? Your husband blew her off and told her to knock it off. That would make me pretty happy.

    Other than that, why even acknowledge this immature, bored, "princess" PITA.

    Some people aren't worth the time. Confronting her isn't going to change anything. You're better than she is. Your husband acting respectfully and appropriately. Forget about her.
    Wavy, curly on the ends, 2C.
    Coarse to medium textured, porous, dry, and lots of it.
    Shampoo--HSH Pumpkin, Abba Pure Moisture
    LVPNG, HSH Pumpkin, Walgreen's Knockoffs--Condish/Cowash
    AOHR, Nexxus, EO--LI
    CK & ReCoil--Activator
    Suave Max Hold, Alagio Curl-Gel
    For inquiring minds who want to know:
    http://www.public.fotki.com/TillyErnissee
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    Why put so much stock in what this crazy b-- does? Your husband blew her off and told her to knock it off. That would make me pretty happy.

    Other than that, why even acknowledge this immature, bored, "princess" PITA.

    Some people aren't worth the time. Confronting her isn't going to change anything. You're better than she is. Your husband acting respectfully and appropriately. Forget about her.
    ITA
    I have been thinking about if hubby would even tell me if this happened to him b/c he knows I'd wanna clock the itch! :toothy10: :boxing:
    0004.gif

    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
    Let’s just stay together and tell the world to kiss our ass. ~P


  • KindredsTwin1983KindredsTwin1983 Posts: 347Registered Users
    Yea...I saw her the other say and subtely flipped on the b*tch switch. :-(

    Princess was excitedly telling me about her soon trip to Jamaica. She said, 'I hope this is the trip...maybe flip the big question!!!'

    I said with sincere concern, "I don't think so....he's not the type to commit."

    Then I proceed to flip my hair over my shoulders and flash my diamond....

    Eek....that's it though. Done, finito, I am through! All forgotten now. :-)
    Hair Type - 3c, with a touch of 4a and a touch of 3b

    Favorite Detangler - Any conditioner with high amount of behentrimonium mehtosulfate

    Favorite Leave-in Conditioners - Suave Coconut, Giovanni Smooth and Silk and Giovanni Direct Leave-in, Pantene Relaxed and Natural

    Favorite Hair Moisturizers - Silk Elements Hairdress
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    your husband did what he was supposed to do. i would have nothing else to do with her. meaning, she would be invisible to me at any future encounters.

    and where was your brother-in-law while she was throwing another woman in your husband's face? he wasn't checking his girlfriend? was he laughing and encouraging her behavior?

    if brother-in-law supports her antics, i'd put him on ignore too.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I may not be the best to address this, but I don't put up with **** like that. I would tell her off and possibly knock her on her ass. I think your DH should make a plan to only spend time with his brother when she won't be around.
  • BrewCrewGrlBrewCrewGrl Posts: 442Registered Users
    Well here is my past situation and the results that followed. Take it for what it's worth, just my two cents.

    My husband and his younger brother would go out for a boys night, I didn't have a problem with this at all. One night BIL was at our house and DH was taking a shower. BIL makes the comment to me that he is going to "hook his brother up with a hottie tonight" I told him that his brother, my husband has all the hottie he can handle waiting for him at home. Then promptly disregarded the conversation as him being his usual immature, drunk self.

    The next time it happened again, with more explicit comments. I stopped him, explained that it was not appropriate and did not appreciate the disrespect to our marriage, then explained to DH what had been said. Dh talked to his brother that night and told me it would never happen again, and that his brother never did anything like that when they were out anyway. 3 months ago DH went out with his brother, and his brother had a woman waiting for my DH, who told him she didn't care that he was married. My DH called me and I went and picked him up, he hasn't spoken to his brother since.

    I have never cared for my BIL, but am glad that I confronted him. I do think it is sad that my BIL thinks so little of his only brother that he would do that to him. Some people are not going to change, I gave the benefit of the doubt to my BIL for years, but he went too far and is not welcome in our lives anymore. Good luck, if your BIL marries her at least you know who and what she is.
    http://public.fotki.com/BrewCrewGrl/

    The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth can ever be- Konrad Lorenz

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file