Disappointed with body, can't lose weight

leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
Hey all,

So I am one of those who just cannot seem to lose weight.
I am a college student and at the beginning of the year my roommate and I decided to try and lose weight together. We started a work out board and he started tracking his weight. He's lost 15 lbs and I've lost about 4 (but that was after gaining 4 early)
I had started weight training ~3 times a week, and was gaining weight! Which, of course, was expected, but I noticed no fat reduction.
In October I came down with mono and stopped everything. The only thing I was doing was swimming 2x a week for a class I'm in. Maybe 2 weeks ago I joined this website to track my weight and what I was eating, and I was finally starting to lose weight! But I have gained that back now.
I don't know what to do! I can't seem to control my eating. I have generalized anxiety disorder and am on Lexapro for it, as well as bc. I know that these things work against me, but I don't want to be stuck at this weight anymore. I'm 5'8" and 174lbs. When I came to school 4 yrs ago I was 150, and then I dropped to 143 and then had a bad year and balloon out. My heighest weight was 178.
I am so sick of feeling fat all the time. I try to work out, but it's so hard, especially since I'm still recovering from mono. I have burcitis in my major joints, so running of any kind is out of the picture. I really liked weight training, but I wasn't losing weight.
Anyone have any suggestions for me?
I am a SUPER emotional eater, and snack a LOT. I don't really eat large meals, except dinner. Normally I just snack. I've been to a nutritionist and know what I need to do, but don't have the money for fresh fruit, veggies, protein....
HELP!
Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
«13

Comments

  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    leelee28 wrote: »
    Hey all,

    So I am one of those who just cannot seem to lose weight.
    I am a college student and at the beginning of the year my roommate and I decided to try and lose weight together. We started a work out board and he started tracking his weight. He's lost 15 lbs and I've lost about 4 (but that was after gaining 4 early)
    I had started weight training ~3 times a week, and was gaining weight! Which, of course, was expected, but I noticed no fat reduction.
    In October I came down with mono and stopped everything. The only thing I was doing was swimming 2x a week for a class I'm in. Maybe 2 weeks ago I joined this website to track my weight and what I was eating, and I was finally starting to lose weight! But I have gained that back now.
    I don't know what to do! I can't seem to control my eating. I have generalized anxiety disorder and am on Lexapro for it, as well as bc. I know that these things work against me, but I don't want to be stuck at this weight anymore. I'm 5'8" and 174lbs. When I came to school 4 yrs ago I was 150, and then I dropped to 143 and then had a bad year and balloon out. My heighest weight was 178.
    I am so sick of feeling fat all the time. I try to work out, but it's so hard, especially since I'm still recovering from mono. I have burcitis in my major joints, so running of any kind is out of the picture. I really liked weight training, but I wasn't losing weight.
    Anyone have any suggestions for me?
    I am a SUPER emotional eater, and snack a LOT. I don't really eat large meals, except dinner. Normally I just snack. I've been to a nutritionist and know what I need to do, but don't have the money for fresh fruit, veggies, protein....
    HELP!

    Everything you need to know is in the bolded. You can lose weight when you eat like you should, you just don't eat correctly. You have to control your eating to lose weight, there just is no other choice. I know it's harder for some than others (I think I am addicted to sugar). But if you don't change how you eat permanently, not just a temporary diet, you'll never lose and keep it off. Exercise is also very important.

    Good luck, I know it's hard!
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    Why does it seem like as soon as I stop exercising for a few days or eat poorly for a weekend I instantly gain everything back? That's what's so frustrating for me! I feel like I'll have to be on a perpetual diet or I'll always go back! :(
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm just guessing, but your metabolism is probably screwed up from dieting one week and then too much "snacking" the next. Dieting doesn't work. You have to change how you eat for the rest of your life, not just for a limited time. Of course you can still have a treat, but they need to be limited. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you are not taking any responsibility and just blaming your weight on your body, as if you don't control your body.

    ETA: Even the title of this thread makes it sound like you think your body is somehow doing something to you that you can't control.
  • AprilnUtahAprilnUtah Curl Novice Posts: 519Registered Users Curl Novice
    The bottom line is that your calorie intake must be less than your output every day. One pound of fat = 3600 calories, so if you wanted to lose 35 lbs, you need to burn or eliminate 126,000 calories. If you wanted to lose that in 6 months, you have to reduce your intake and increase your output by 700 calories a day. That really isn't that hard. 30-40 minutes of cardio each day (walking, elliptical, treadmill, swimming) could easily take care of 200 of that, so cut out the fatty snacks and eat something even half way healthy instead and you'll lose weight. Also, keep up the weight training. The more muscle you build, the faster you will lose weight.
    I'm sure you already know all of this, but I typed it out anyway because there is no passive way to do it, you have to make it happen.
    April
    3a/b, med texture, med porosity, low dews



  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Posts: 3,077Registered Users
    I agree with the above advice, but I thought I'd add my own experiences, too. I was on Lexapro for about nine months and gained 30 pounds. No matter what I did, I couldn't lose the weight and kept gaining even though I was working out and eating well. After going off Lexapro, I stopped gaining, but could not lose any weight. The thing that finally worked was the South Beach diet, which focuses on eating lean protein, whole grains, and lots of vegetables and some fruit. I don't know why only SB works for me, but I think it has something to do with the way my body was reacting to sugar and refined carbohydrates because of the Lexapro.

    DO NOT just go off Lexapro cold turkey or without consulting your doctor, but it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor or therapist about trying a different medication where weight gain is not such a common side effect.
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    I guess I should clarify some things here.

    I know that I need to change my lifestyle. And I have been for almost 3 years now. I do not eat poorly. I really try to buy healthy food. But I cannot afford health food. In case no one noticed, it's freaking expensive! I also live with my fiancee, and therefore shop for two. So things last me half as long with him as it would with myself. (and before you suggest so, I will not buy for myself only or move out :) ) So I buy fruit or yogurt or stuff like that and it's gone before I have enough money to restock. So I live on carbs. I can buy chicken and it will last us two days. I can buy pasta and it can last us 2 weeks or more!
    When I say I snack, it's like crackers, or granola bars. To me, an apple is NOT a snack, nor should it be. That's just sugar and water and gives you energy for MAYBE 30 mins. I know all about the types of foods you can eat and what will give you the right amount of energy and such. But when all I can afford is carbs because they last me long enough, you can see how it's easy to snack so much!

    I am a college student, with 2 jobs and mono and it's been a tough semester. I only have time to cook dinner. Breakfast is normally a bowl of cereal or a bagel and banana if I have some. Lunch is whatever I can grab. Then I come home and I eat eat eat! I don't gain weight ... but I don't lose it either.

    Also, I DO NOT diet. Diets are horrible. I know this. And they don't work. I know this also. But if I eat anything that I love, I instantly gain any weight tha tI had previously lost!

    When I was a freshman, I started BC. Then less than a year later, I started Lexapro. I spiraled downward quickly due to some personal issues, and gained 30lbs in about 2 months. I have since then been trying to lose that weight.
    This is not an immediate thing for me. The only time I really lost weight was after I had surgery and couldn't eat for a few days. Even when I exercise, I struggle. It is so painful for me, and therefore not fun. I only enjoy swimming and outdoor biking, both of which I am limited to due to the seasons.

    I hate my body and the way it looks. I know it is my "fault", but motivation does not come easily to me. I have always struggled with my weight. I know that I will always be curvy, and I think curves are sexy! But I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to like what I see in the mirror.

    I have a lot of problems with the meds I am on, but can't afford to switch. We wanted to get me an IUC instead of pills, but I don't have money for that. Lexapro is the only version of the drug right now because it's still under its patent. There are no generics. (last I checked)

    I have seen a nutritionist. I have worked out. I have changed my diet. And yet my weight doesn't change!

    I know that this just sounds like a bunch of excuses and you may be thinking that I'm just complaining and wishing for some miracle. The truth is, I just don't know what to do! It's so discouraging to try and try and feel like you failed. And then things get rough, you get off track, and then don't want to try again.

    I'm just looking for someone who knows what I'm going through to help me out. It's not that I don't try. It's that what I'm doing is not enough, and yet I can't seem to find a different way without killing myself (load wise, not really kill myself)
    Does this make sense? I hope so!

    OH! and just one more thing to top it off, I have IBS and so a lot of those "healthy foods" do not sit right with me. It's a pain! (literally and metaphorically :) )

    I know this is a lot and I hope I'm not coming off the wrong way. I just want to be happy! I need to find ways to take care of my body that fits into my crazy schedule. I'm trying to get into med school next year. I won't have time or energy to work out every day for like an hour. (And yes, I know that 30 mins is enough ... I'm just saying ...)

    Ok, so that's enough! HELP! :)
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • AprilnUtahAprilnUtah Curl Novice Posts: 519Registered Users Curl Novice
    Do you think you could talk to your SO about how you are feeling about your body and your goals and ask for his support? Maybe he would agree to only eat half of the good stuff in the fridge and leave some for you? I actually had a similar conversation with my DH when we first got married because he would eat everything and not leave any for me - like I would buy 8 yogurts and he would eat them all in a couple of days. He didn't learn to be considerate on his own, he needed a little help :toothy5:.
    The other thing would be to talk to your doc about your meds, as has been suggested. If it really is keeping your body in a cycle that won't let you lose the weight, then it won't matter what else you do to shift things.
    Beyond that, I'm a big believer in changing your subconscious beliefs and programs to get changes in your physical experience. Try zpoint, it's free to learn and easy to use www.zpointforpeace.com
    April
    3a/b, med texture, med porosity, low dews



  • rnconniesfrnconniesf Curl Neophyte Posts: 256Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You might want to consider a program to "reset" your metabolism. Try eating 300 kCal every 3 hours or so. If you are on a 15 hour schedule that's only 1500 kCal a day. Eating every few hours is one of the best ways to reset your metabolism. Make sure you get some good quality proteins like peanut butter or beans or such. PB and dried beans are a good, cheap source of protein. Do not attempt to restrict kCal too much or you'll slow down your metabolism. Can you go to student services for nutrition advice? I know we offer these services to our students because of the "Freshman 15" syndrome. Good luck.
    Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Posts: 3,077Registered Users
    I'm replying again because your post sounds so much like how I felt a few months ago - feeling helpless and frustrated and fed up, but not sure how to change things. Just keep in your mind that people are not offering you advice here to criticize you, they're trying to offer suggestions. Sometimes it's hard to get that through people's posts, but most of the time they are not judging you, just trying to help.

    To explain what I meant about Lexapro earlier, because I think you misunderstood me. My doctor never warned me about it, but when I talked to him about it after gaining weight, he said it was a common side effect and had seen it happen in a lot of his patients. He had several other suggestions for different drugs I could take that did not have weight gain as a common side effect. Several of them did have generics and were cheaper than Lexapro, so they might be an option for you. Your doctor may have other suggestions for you or at least may have some advice for how to deal with this type of weight gain.
  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I have to say you still sound like you are making excuses. You have one reason after another why it's too hard for you to lose weight. (And I'm sorry but to me when someone says they're "curvy" I hear "fat"), I don't understand how curvy came to be the same thing as overweight.

    You definitely sound like you have some health problems that interfere with weight loss. But the fact that you said in your original post that you were losing weight when you tracked what you were eating tells me that you CAN lose weight. Your mindset just isn't where it needs to be to do it right now. That's understandable. I have been trying to lose the same 9 pounds for 2 years. I'll eat healthy and lose 6 of it and then go right back to my old ways and gain it back. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal to you but it's frustrating to me. I have finally adopted a healthier eating lifestyle and this time I am going to stick with it, I've made up my mind.

    I am going to look at April's link and here is another with stories of women who all lost over 100 pounds by changing their lifestyles. It's very inspiring.

    I know it seems like I'm mean and picking on you, but I think telling you what you want to hear is not going to help. And if you're really not ready yet to make the changes you need to make (after consulting your doctor because of your health issues), then nothing will get you thin right now.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21186104/?pg=1#TDY_Joy_Fit_Club
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    Curvy = fat?!?!? Really??
    I have large breasts and always had an ass. I was born that way and will die that way. But I can be healthy and curvy. Being flat just to be skinny is not sexy to me.
    Besides, most men like curves! I know mine does :)

    But it is kind of hurtful, not only to me I'm sure, that you think curvy is fat. I like having a booty. It looks cute in jeans! I like my boobs, they balance out my hips and butt. I will always carry fat here, but that by NO means makes me overweight! Why do you think that women with boobs and a butt are overweight? And since when is being flat chested and hipless the definition of skinny or healthy? We are born like that, it is in our genes. It's quite natural to have this.


    I don't understand why you make this connection between fat and curvy. When a woman says she's curvy, it means she has some kind of a shape! If I wanted to say I was fat, I would say I was fat! When I was 150, I was curvy, and at the healthiest weight for my height! So how does that make me overweight?!
    I just don't understand:confused:
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    p.s. - I only tracked what I ate for a week and was weighing myself everyday. I don't really agree with daily weigh ins, I think they are discouraging and unnecessary.
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • MimsTXMimsTX Curl Neophyte Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think she might have meant that a lot of women use the term 'curvy' when 'overweight' would be more appropriate.

    Having boobs and a butt does not make you overweight, just as being overweight does not necessarily mean you have large boobs or a huge butt.

    And in my experience (which trust me, considering the amount of times my weight has fluctuated, is fairly valid) a week isn't enough time to see any kind of response to what you're doing. I do agree, daily weigh-ins aren't the best. You'll just get discouraged, as your daily weight might fluctuate as much as 5 pounds due to any number of factors. But my body does not respond quickly at all to anything I do... it takes time to see any kind of result. Maybe try tracking your food and doing several smaller meals as was suggested for a month or so, only weighing maybe once every week or every other week. That should give you a good idea of how your body responds.
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  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    MimsTX wrote: »
    I think she might have meant that a lot of women use the term 'curvy' when 'overweight' would be more appropriate.

    Having boobs and a butt does not make you overweight, just as being overweight does not necessarily mean you have large boobs or a huge butt.

    And in my experience (which trust me, considering the amount of times my weight has fluctuated, is fairly valid) a week isn't enough time to see any kind of response to what you're doing. I do agree, daily weigh-ins aren't the best. You'll just get discouraged, as your daily weight might fluctuate as much as 5 pounds due to any number of factors. But my body does not respond quickly at all to anything I do... it takes time to see any kind of result. Maybe try tracking your food and doing several smaller meals as was suggested for a month or so, only weighing maybe once every week or every other week. That should give you a good idea of how your body responds.

    I agree with this whole post and yes, the bolded is what I MEANT.
  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    sdc wrote: »
    MimsTX wrote: »
    I think she might have meant that a lot of women use the term 'curvy' when 'overweight' would be more appropriate.

    Having boobs and a butt does not make you overweight, just as being overweight does not necessarily mean you have large boobs or a huge butt.

    And in my experience (which trust me, considering the amount of times my weight has fluctuated, is fairly valid) a week isn't enough time to see any kind of response to what you're doing. I do agree, daily weigh-ins aren't the best. You'll just get discouraged, as your daily weight might fluctuate as much as 5 pounds due to any number of factors. But my body does not respond quickly at all to anything I do... it takes time to see any kind of result. Maybe try tracking your food and doing several smaller meals as was suggested for a month or so, only weighing maybe once every week or every other week. That should give you a good idea of how your body responds.

    I agree with this whole post and yes, the bolded is what I MEANT.

    ETA: I can't believe in everything I posted, the only thing you focused on was the curvy comment. Anyway, I truly do wish you health and happiness no matter what size you are.

    That last statement was supposed to be edited into the previous post. DUH!
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    I appreciate what everyone has said.
    I am just so frustrated! And my self esteem has just plummeted :(

    I don't know how to cook healthy. I live in pain everyday of my life. I'm sick. I just want to be normal, and I fear that I will never experience "normal" again!

    I HATE exercising. I LOATHE it. And therefore I struggle getting into a routine. Some suggest working out with a friend, but all my girl friends are skinny and have the endurance of a race horse. I have asthma and bad joints, and so I fatigue easily. Plus, these are the types of girls who were a size 2 and complain about being fat! How do I even compete with that?!?
    I actually had to stop working out with my best friend because I was getting so discouraged by it.

    Anyone have similar problems with exercise? Got any tips? Something that's not time consuming or strenuous but is fun and effective?

    And what about food? Know of any good recipes that are fast, easy, and not expensive?!

    I talked with my boy tonight and we're going to try and work out a weekly menu. He needs to lose weight too and both of us want to look better before the wedding :)


    Also, a big problem I have is that I don't get enough calories during the day. I dislike most breakfast protein and struggle with a balanced lunch. Dinner seems to be the only time I really have a protein, starch, and veggie. My nutritionist pointed out that if I eat a bigger breakfast and lunch I'll eat less in the evening, which is when I eat the most. But I suck at morning cooking. I like sleep!
    Any suggestions on easy breakfasts that are more nutritious and filling? What about lunch? It's normally a pizza he made or some kind of pasta.

    I know that this is going to take a while. I'm going to Mexico in May and want to lose at least 10lbs by then!
    Help!
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • HropkeyHropkey Posts: 572Registered Users
    You don't have to stay w/typical exercises. I'm similar to you, I HATE exercising. Try being unconventional. Yoga, pilates, and dance are pretty much my lifesavers, and being able to just get a video and easily do pilates at home is wonderful. Plus, they're actually really, really fun! Give it a try; you might be surprised.
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  • ShrekLoverShrekLover Curl Neophyte Posts: 2,551Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    As far as exercise I highly recommend this:

    http://www.amazon.com/Method-Body-2-...7810230&sr=8-4

    These are no impact body shaping and I am one who hates exercise also. Also, try Lotte Berk and Callanetics. All of these systems are based on Lotte Berk if you want to do research.

    There are Lotte Berk DVDs at amazon and those routines are only 25 minutes including the warm up and cool down.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    For healthy eating, I'd recommend eating more beans. They're cheap, healthy, and if you have a crock pot, really easy. There are tons of recipes online that do not require any cooking skills--just put everything in the crock pot in the morning and it's done and delicious for dinner.

    For me to exercise consistently, I have to make it a habit. That is, I have a certain time of day and a specific plan for what workout I'm going to do. Basically, I work it into my schedule and make sure (as much as possible) there won't be any interruptions. I do videos at home, and they're convenient and I don't have to worry about making it to the gym.
    ehLB.jpg
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Curl Neophyte Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    MimsTX wrote: »
    I think she might have meant that a lot of women use the term 'curvy' when 'overweight' would be more appropriate.

    Having boobs and a butt does not make you overweight, just as being overweight does not necessarily mean you have large boobs or a huge butt.

    And in my experience (which trust me, considering the amount of times my weight has fluctuated, is fairly valid) a week isn't enough time to see any kind of response to what you're doing. I do agree, daily weigh-ins aren't the best. You'll just get discouraged, as your daily weight might fluctuate as much as 5 pounds due to any number of factors. But my body does not respond quickly at all to anything I do... it takes time to see any kind of result. Maybe try tracking your food and doing several smaller meals as was suggested for a month or so, only weighing maybe once every week or every other week. That should give you a good idea of how your body responds.

    Why do people do that? Curvy to me is someone like Beyonce, Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe. Even "skinny" or "thin" girls can be "curvy".
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    I think somethings to keep in mind would be:

    You didn't gain weight overnight, or in a week, or in a month. You can't undo it overnight, or in a week, or in a month.

    You WILL plateau, and you will lose ground from time to time. Yes, it's frustrating. But if you use your frustration as an excuse to give up, you're not doing yourself any favors. You're hurting yourself. You have to accept that it'll be frustrating and stick it out. If you're going to give up at the first setback, you might as well not try in the first place.

    Is there any ONE person you talk to about your nutrition and weight goals? When I was working to lose a significant amount of weight, having a buddy (over the internet) who was in a similar-but-not-identical situation as myself, who I could talk to on a regular basis (we emailed several times a day) about the struggles we faced, the goals we had, to exchange encouragement when we needed it and celebration when we got somewhere.

    Drink more water. In all of your rather expansive posts, you don't say a word about your water intake, which probably means you're not drinking enough. Drinking plenty of water is crucial to proper nutrition and weight loss, but drinking plenty of water can help with your IBS symptoms.

    No one "instantly" regains weight. It simply isn't possible. And if that's really what you think is happening when you have a slice of pizza, then you've got a defeatist attitude and that won't get you anywhere.

    You say you know all of these important things we're telling you about proper nutrition and weight loss, but you also seem to be doing them anyhow. You know you need more than a week to see a difference, but you only gave calorie tracking a week before you gave up. You know you shouldn't diet, but by adopting what should be a lifestyle change and not sticking with it, you're dieting. You know you shouldn't weigh yourself every day, but that's what you do (or did for a while).

    Motivation doesn't come easy to you... tough sh t. You have to find it or you'll never get anywhere. And since you're clearly not comfortable with where you are, you've got to grasp at any string or scrap of motivation you can and hold the fark on for dear life. So you have it harder than some other people do, so what? There's plenty of people who have it a lot harder than you do.

    And I call BS on the "health foods aggravate my IBS" too. The RIGHT healthy foods will only help you with your IBS. You just have to figure out what they are. Yeah, that means some work and some patience. Too bad.

    You say you really liked weight training. Why don't you keep doing that? You don't have to do a whole lot more than that to be getting good exercise. I'm not a big exercise fan either, but I found that if I did 20 minutes of cardio, then as much weight training as I wanted, and then did more cardio until I felt like I couldn't anymore, that was enough.

    Baby carrots. Excellent, EXTREMELY filling snack, and cheap. I suggest getting a really big bag, and divvying it up into portions in ziplock bags the same day you buy it and stick them all in the fridge. When you want to snack, have a bag of carrots. Or an apple (yes, it's a snack, like it or not). Or some peanut butter. A yogurt (explain to your boyfriend that if he's going to eat in mass quantities, he has to eat something that isn't expensive). Or a hard boiled egg, or some low fat string cheese, or sliced cucumbers with some low fat ranch dressing, or some whole wheat crackers.

    Yes, I'm mean. I don't have any sympathy for your special circumstances because a) they're not that special and b) sympathy isn't going to help you one lick. You need a firm kick in the pants. If this thread isn't enough of one for you, then find someone IRL to give it to you or find a way to give it to yourself, because until you FIND some of that elusive motivation, stop giving yourself excuses and just start DOING what you KNOW FULL WELL WILL WORK, you're not going to get anywhere.

    Given all of the excuses you've got, I suspect you haven't reached your breaking point. I have every excuse in the world when I was gaining weight... freshman 15, huge life stress, health problems (in my case mostly CAUSED by my weight gain, but I didn't know that until I fixed it), going on birth control, coming OFF birth control, being broke, being too busy... I had every excuse in the book until I got a reality check. Mine came in the form of a picture of myself, 40 pounds overweight and wearing a wicked unflattering bridesmaids dress that I broke the clasp on 30 minutes before the wedding. Breaking the clasp had no impact on me: the tailor had made it too tight. But when I saw myself in the pictures, that was it. I was devestated and I set aside all the excuses and got right down to it. It was hard and it took a long time. I slipped up, I had weeks where I gained instead of lost. I had a lot of weeks where I came out even. Halfway through I went for a month without changing one ounce. It sucked. But I had people around me who encouraged me and supported me. I made mistakes and had setbacks, but the only time I had any success was when I dropped the woe-is-me attitude, sucked it up, remembered what it was I was trying to do and just farking did it.

    And you can do it to.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • MimsTXMimsTX Curl Neophyte Posts: 3,482Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think somethings to keep in mind would be:

    You didn't gain weight overnight, or in a week, or in a month. You can't undo it overnight, or in a week, or in a month.

    You WILL plateau, and you will lose ground from time to time. Yes, it's frustrating. But if you use your frustration as an excuse to give up, you're not doing yourself any favors. You're hurting yourself. You have to accept that it'll be frustrating and stick it out. If you're going to give up at the first setback, you might as well not try in the first place.

    Is there any ONE person you talk to about your nutrition and weight goals? When I was working to lose a significant amount of weight, having a buddy (over the internet) who was in a similar-but-not-identical situation as myself, who I could talk to on a regular basis (we emailed several times a day) about the struggles we faced, the goals we had, to exchange encouragement when we needed it and celebration when we got somewhere.

    Drink more water. In all of your rather expansive posts, you don't say a word about your water intake, which probably means you're not drinking enough. Drinking plenty of water is crucial to proper nutrition and weight loss, but drinking plenty of water can help with your IBS symptoms.

    No one "instantly" regains weight. It simply isn't possible. And if that's really what you think is happening when you have a slice of pizza, then you've got a defeatist attitude and that won't get you anywhere.

    You say you know all of these important things we're telling you about proper nutrition and weight loss, but you also seem to be doing them anyhow. You know you need more than a week to see a difference, but you only gave calorie tracking a week before you gave up. You know you shouldn't diet, but by adopting what should be a lifestyle change and not sticking with it, you're dieting. You know you shouldn't weigh yourself every day, but that's what you do (or did for a while).

    Motivation doesn't come easy to you... tough sh t. You have to find it or you'll never get anywhere. And since you're clearly not comfortable with where you are, you've got to grasp at any string or scrap of motivation you can and hold the fark on for dear life. So you have it harder than some other people do, so what? There's plenty of people who have it a lot harder than you do.

    And I call BS on the "health foods aggravate my IBS" too. The RIGHT healthy foods will only help you with your IBS. You just have to figure out what they are. Yeah, that means some work and some patience. Too bad.

    You say you really liked weight training. Why don't you keep doing that? You don't have to do a whole lot more than that to be getting good exercise. I'm not a big exercise fan either, but I found that if I did 20 minutes of cardio, then as much weight training as I wanted, and then did more cardio until I felt like I couldn't anymore, that was enough.

    Baby carrots. Excellent, EXTREMELY filling snack, and cheap. I suggest getting a really big bag, and divvying it up into portions in ziplock bags the same day you buy it and stick them all in the fridge. When you want to snack, have a bag of carrots. Or an apple (yes, it's a snack, like it or not). Or some peanut butter. A yogurt (explain to your boyfriend that if he's going to eat in mass quantities, he has to eat something that isn't expensive). Or a hard boiled egg, or some low fat string cheese, or sliced cucumbers with some low fat ranch dressing, or some whole wheat crackers.

    Yes, I'm mean. I don't have any sympathy for your special circumstances because a) they're not that special and b) sympathy isn't going to help you one lick. You need a firm kick in the pants. If this thread isn't enough of one for you, then find someone IRL to give it to you or find a way to give it to yourself, because until you FIND some of that elusive motivation, stop giving yourself excuses and just start DOING what you KNOW FULL WELL WILL WORK, you're not going to get anywhere.

    Given all of the excuses you've got, I suspect you haven't reached your breaking point. I have every excuse in the world when I was gaining weight... freshman 15, huge life stress, health problems (in my case mostly CAUSED by my weight gain, but I didn't know that until I fixed it), going on birth control, coming OFF birth control, being broke, being too busy... I had every excuse in the book until I got a reality check. Mine came in the form of a picture of myself, 40 pounds overweight and wearing a wicked unflattering bridesmaids dress that I broke the clasp on 30 minutes before the wedding. Breaking the clasp had no impact on me: the tailor had made it too tight. But when I saw myself in the pictures, that was it. I was devestated and I set aside all the excuses and got right down to it. It was hard and it took a long time. I slipped up, I had weeks where I gained instead of lost. I had a lot of weeks where I came out even. Halfway through I went for a month without changing one ounce. It sucked. But I had people around me who encouraged me and supported me. I made mistakes and had setbacks, but the only time I had any success was when I dropped the woe-is-me attitude, sucked it up, remembered what it was I was trying to do and just farking did it.

    And you can do it to.


    Michelle's my new hero. And if it didn't work for the OP, I think it did for me. :P
    CG/Mod CG (soap bars) since 8/12/08
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  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Curl Neophyte Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    No cardio or workout is really "fun" the first little while you're doing it. Hell if you're out of shape cardio is going to be a ***** and it's going to hurt. I've been a runner since the 8th grade and sometimes I have days where I hate it, some days I love it, some days I have no motivation, but I do it, not everyday, but I do it. If you don't feel like working out, sometimes you have to make yourself. You won't automatically have the energy to work out, you have to work out to GET energy.

    ETA: An apple is not just sugar and water and it doesn't give you don't "crash" 30 mins after eating one. The sugar in fruit is good for you.

    You said you were an emotional eater, next time something stresses you out, go for a walk around the block instead of eating. If you do eat, do like Michelle suggested and get carrot sticks, a banana, string cheese, etc.

    Another question, does your fiance not pitch in for the cost of the groceries he's eating? I only ask because in your post it didn't sound like he does, and he definitely should be.
  • TillyMunchyWavesTillyMunchyWaves Posts: 671Registered Users
    I don't know. 5 years ago I obsessed about my weight, worked out every day, scrutinized everything I ate, and was never satisfied.

    I thought that working out alot would make me happier, because that's the common convention--work out, it'll improve you mood/self esteem, etc. Not me. I just felt worse about myself no matter how thin or "fit" I was.

    Now I eat whatever I want, never ever go to the gym, and generally don't think about my body or anything like that. I'm much happier. I'm 10# heavier (and have been for several years) but not having the mental anguish of excercise and food torture is much better.

    I think that people would be happier if they let it go. I stopped all formal excercise years ago and I am SOOO glad I did. I'll never go back.

    (It probably does help that I have a "stand up" job, where I'm walking around/lifting things/cleaning for 40 hours a week--vet tech.)
    Wavy, curly on the ends, 2C.
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  • LiveGoldinLiveGoldin Posts: 92Registered Users
    I've been where you are.. and it's hard to hear.. but you ARE making excuses.
    I'm 43 yrs old and in Feb of last year I weighed 187lbs. I am 5'1" and have a lot of natural muscle so believe it or not at that weight I wore a size 14. However, when the clothes came off.. I looked horrible ..my knees hurt ..my face was puffy but I continued to make excuses .." i'm stressed".. "you gain weight over 40".. "i'm not fat i'm "thick" etc..etc .
    Finally I had to make a decision either I was going to love the fat or get rid of it because I was getting on everyone's nerves including my own so I chose to get rid of it.
    I have not dieted one day.. I simply chose my foods carefully I watch my carb intake (not atkins by any means) I don't eat refined sugar, flour, yeast or potatoes and today I weigh 155lbs which is still not my goal but i'm in a size 10 and I feel pretty good.
    In the midst of this I lost my job and at one point not too long ago I saw the scale starting to creep in the wrong direction .. it took me a few weeks but I've lost 8 of the 10lbs that set me back.
    I too HATE to exercise so you know what I did..I decided to use my unemployment to my advantage. My career was in field that is tanking in this economy.. so I decided to go back to school for an Associates in Exercise Studies. This will ensure that I get the correct exercise as well as it will motivate me to exercise and will also be a stepping stone to where I want to go next which is to get a BS in Nutrition .. combine the two and perhaps make a difference in the lives of our ever growing obese children. I'm rambling.. but I just wanted to tell you it's never too late to start.. if you fall .. get back up and start again.. and find something.. anything to motivate you.
    My hair and I are STILL estranged.. I think we need counseling...
    That's not my hair in my avi.. umm.. this time.. it's a weave..
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Curl Neophyte Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't know. 5 years ago I obsessed about my weight, worked out every day, scrutinized everything I ate, and was never satisfied.

    I thought that working out alot would make me happier, because that's the common convention--work out, it'll improve you mood/self esteem, etc. Not me. I just felt worse about myself no matter how thin or "fit" I was.

    Now I eat whatever I want, never ever go to the gym, and generally don't think about my body or anything like that. I'm much happier. I'm 10# heavier (and have been for several years) but not having the mental anguish of excercise and food torture is much better.

    I think that people would be happier if they let it go. I stopped all formal excercise years ago and I am SOOO glad I did. I'll never go back.

    (It probably does help that I have a "stand up" job, where I'm walking around/lifting things/cleaning for 40 hours a week--vet tech.)

    I wouldn't be happier. Exercise keeps me sane, not because I'm stressing about what size I am, how many calories I've burned or what I look like. I don't feel like myself if I don't run for a long while. It helps me deal with stress, I get out excess energy. I honestly don't see how people can't workout, I'd feel like I had too much time on my hands!
  • tashtash Posts: 112Registered Users
    have you had blood tests done to make sure it isn't something else? it probably isn't. but it might be worth looking into. hypothyroidism can cause symtoms like anxiety, depression, not able to loose weight (or gain despite diet and exersize), gi issues, faitgue, stiff joints, breathing issues, sugar issues which can increase desire to snack and/or carb cravings, cold intolerence, dry skin and/or hair, and lots of other things.

    I have a lot of those symptoms and my dr suggested I get my thyroid tested so I am doing that next week.
    I wouldn't be happier. Exercise keeps me sane, not because I'm stressing about what size I am, how many calories I've burned or what I look like. I don't feel like myself if I don't run for a long while. It helps me deal with stress, I get out excess energy. I honestly don't see how people can't workout, I'd feel like I had too much time on my hands!

    I can't work out. between my ashma and the extreme fatigue I have had recently I can barely walk upstairs, forget exersize. :lol: I do get very very bored though. how many reruns can one person watch!? :confused2:
    2b/c with some 1 and 3a tendencies. fine-medium, still searching for the HG..... Hair Bio
  • leelee28leelee28 Posts: 137Registered Users
    I have had a lot of tests done. Earlier this year I felt like crap everyday and finally went to the doctor. They tests for thyroid, anemia, mono and rheumatoid (for my bursitis) Turns out I had mono :( which is better than any of the other choices, but still really sucked.

    My doctors have been concerned about me for a while. My bursitis keeps getting worse and showing up in new places. I've had MRIs and XRays just to make sure my joints are ok. Everything looks healthy bone wise.
    My asthma is out of control, but I have a really hard time getting it back under control. EVERYTHING I do gets me out of breath, and if you don't have asthma, then you don't have a CLUE about how painful it really is. You know when you breathe in deep in the winter, when the air is really cold? That hurts, right?
    It's like that ... ALL the time.

    Apples are starch - sugar and water. There are hardly any nutrients (there are some, but not a ton). I've talked to 2 different nutritionists and they agree that an apple alone is NOT a snack.
    If you do not now anything about foods, do not talk about it. A starch like an apple will only give you energy for ~30 mins, a whole grain, an hour or 2. Protein is about 3 and fat is 4. That's why you are supposed to eat no later than every 4 hours.
    If you get full on an apple alone, you are crazy or weird or something.

    I KNOW i make excuses. But some nice encouragement might have helped.

    My fiance and I split every food bill, so he pays his fair share.

    If you do not have bowel problems, do NOT Tell me that I am BSing about how things affect me. That's not fair, especially since you probably will never experience what I experience.
    Foods high in fiber have one of two effects on me, they help bulk up my poop, or they give me mucus. I have TERRIBLE SMELLY gas all day long, and a constant urge to go. But I all I is pass mucus. It is disgusting and awful and embarrassing. I do not remember the last time I went a DAY without having really bad gas. It's awful.
    And foods do one thing one day, and the complete opposite the other.
    It's like giving yourself diarrhea food poisoning at random. You don't know? Then please don't comment.

    I understand that sometimes you need a good kick in the butt. But being a jerk about it does not help. I am looking for good alternatives to help me with my lifestyle. Not just criticism.

    I may seem defensive, and maybe I am. I just switched anxiety meds as well. But I feel the need to defend myself right now. Think what you want.
    Type: 3b with a little 3a f/m mix, ii

    A "Mrs." as of June 26, 2010 :love3:
  • Who Me?Who Me? Posts: 3,181Registered Users
    leelee28 wrote: »
    I have had a lot of tests done. Earlier this year I felt like crap everyday and finally went to the doctor. They tests for thyroid, anemia, mono and rheumatoid (for my bursitis) Turns out I had mono :( which is better than any of the other choices, but still really sucked.

    My doctors have been concerned about me for a while. My bursitis keeps getting worse and showing up in new places. I've had MRIs and XRays just to make sure my joints are ok. Everything looks healthy bone wise.
    My asthma is out of control, but I have a really hard time getting it back under control. EVERYTHING I do gets me out of breath, and if you don't have asthma, then you don't have a CLUE about how painful it really is. You know when you breathe in deep in the winter, when the air is really cold? That hurts, right?
    It's like that ... ALL the time.

    Apples are starch - sugar and water. There are hardly any nutrients (there are some, but not a ton). I've talked to 2 different nutritionists and they agree that an apple alone is NOT a snack.
    If you do not now anything about foods, do not talk about it. A starch like an apple will only give you energy for ~30 mins, a whole grain, an hour or 2. Protein is about 3 and fat is 4. That's why you are supposed to eat no later than every 4 hours.
    If you get full on an apple alone, you are crazy or weird or something.

    I KNOW i make excuses. But some nice encouragement might have helped.

    My fiance and I split every food bill, so he pays his fair share.

    If you do not have bowel problems, do NOT Tell me that I am BSing about how things affect me. That's not fair, especially since you probably will never experience what I experience.
    Foods high in fiber have one of two effects on me, they help bulk up my poop, or they give me mucus. I have TERRIBLE SMELLY gas all day long, and a constant urge to go. But I all I is pass mucus. It is disgusting and awful and embarrassing. I do not remember the last time I went a DAY without having really bad gas. It's awful.
    And foods do one thing one day, and the complete opposite the other.
    It's like giving yourself diarrhea food poisoning at random. You don't know? Then please don't comment.

    I understand that sometimes you need a good kick in the butt. But being a jerk about it does not help. I am looking for good alternatives to help me with my lifestyle. Not just criticism.

    I may seem defensive, and maybe I am. I just switched anxiety meds as well. But I feel the need to defend myself right now. Think what you want.


    From reading this it sounds like you have issues with:
    • Anxiety
    • Joint pain
    • Asthma/lung capacity
    • Bowel problems
    Excercise and healthy eating are PROVEN to help all of these issues. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. And you're going to have to do it consistently and often for weeks, if not months, likely before you see much results.

    People here can likely not give you the best ideas of what to eat, what kind of exercise to do, or how much of either--your situation isn't simple. But the thing that we can tell you is that excuses are NOT going to help. Do it ("it" meaning help yourself, your pain, your discomfort and your body), or don't. That's it. Decide in you mind right now that you will do it, and then start doing it. Or don't, and just continue complaining about it. But we all know that's not helping you.
    "I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Mims: I doves you too.

    LeeLee: if you've got so many serious health issues, I'm not sure what advice you hoped to get from a layperson website such as this that would help or satisfy you. We've given you the best advice we can, and you've shot every bit of it down-- except for the bits you ignored (namely, the tracking of your food-- do you really understand that it takes more than a week for a lifestyle change to really take effect, and yet you claim that it didn't work even though you only did it for... a week!!). So if what we've given you isn't good enough, then there's nothing we can do for you. And I'm not sure what you expected.

    I know you think my other post was me being a jerk, but it wasn't. I meant it when I said everyone's breaking point is different, and you may not have reached yours yet. You may need to be in worse shape still, unhappier still with your body before you get to a point where ou stop making excuses and get on the right track. Yes, you have special circumstances that are going to make it more difficult, and maybe that's why you haven't hit your breaking point yet. Maybe you'll never get there. I hope you will, though, because personally? The most confidence boosting thing I ever did was lose weight (that needed to be lost, of course).

    It's tough to hear this stuff, and I'm guessing you weren't ready for it. Which is the suck, because I feel like (and I suspect some others here would agree with me) I wasted my time trying to help you. Which, despite how you interpretted it, WAS my goal.

    Anyhow, I'm done wasting time. Good luck. I hope you sort it out. And I hope you stop using your admittedly special circumstances as an excuse not to bother. Because I really think you'll be happier if you find a way to get moving.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.

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