CurlTalk

Stop Touching My Hair!!!!!

TheFabFanTheFabFan Posts: 6Registered Users
I am getting sick of everyone grabbing at my hair. every time i turn around somebody is yanking at it. Just today at the mall i had 7 people do it without even asking, its like they think that just because it's curly it's their own personal playground! does this ever happen to you?
"Why do I always have the feeling everybody's doing something better than me on Saturday afternoons?"
- Jerry Seinfeld
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Comments

  • ReddishRocksReddishRocks Posts: 779Registered Users
    Yep. It happens a lot to me, but more often when I was younger. In my case, I think it has more to do with the color - it doesn't photograph especially well, but there's something about mall lighting that makes people want to touch it, LOL!

    If your avatar pic is you, you have beautiful, fluffy curls. I would want to touch your hair too. :D

    17May09GlenEyriecrop-1.jpg

    Hair is best when wabi-sabi.
    2b/2c at this length, more 3a when shorter
    M/C ii

    Mod CG: Sept 08
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  • Ms. CloudMs. Cloud Posts: 10Registered Users
    What the f***? I don´t understand these people , they have no respect. Your hair is very special and beautiful, but you just don`t touch other people like this! It didn`t happen often to me, but this one time i went shopping,i remember this salesgirl staring at my head, while i wanted to pass her and try on some t- shirts, she just babbled: "Oh, this hair is real? Unbelievable!" Then she grabbed some of my locks and made them frizzy while i was standing there, stunned. Ehhh...?
    Next time i´m just going to reach out my hand, grab this person`s hair, make it a real mess and say. "Oh your hair`s so special i may touch it, don`t i !?" harhar...:blob:
    Big 3b/c hair in Germany
    Hair loves natural cosmetics!

    Curly since Jan 2008 :afro:
  • ParatyParaty Posts: 394Registered Users
    Yeah, this has happened to me twice since I went natural. Once by a friend and once by a co-worker (I work at a professional firm so it can happen there too;-) ). Both times, neither of them asked, just reached for my hair and touched? It has also happened to a couple of friends and relatives of mine by complete strangers. It's like an epidemic lol! I wonder if they would ever reach out and touch the straight hair of a woman. I personally wouldn't since I know it takes some people hours to straighten their hair and have it lay perfectly the way they want it. Yet, I also know that people work hard to style their textured hair 'just right'. That's the reason I would never reach out and grab curly/coily/kinky hair without asking and without making sure my hands are clean first lol! I also think it may happen more frequently among people with afro textured hair since that's seen less by the majority, and is more foreign to people. That's changing of course.
    Hair • Wellness • Style Blog

    Routine: Cleanse Kenra Clarifying, Deep Co with Matrix Biolage Balm + oil (EVOO, avocado, KCPP or Wild Growth oil),:glasses1:Style with Matrix Biolage Balm + KCPP; or Aloe water + KCPP + KCCC; or CR Almond Jai + styler (KCCC, KCPP or Treluxe Hi Def gel); or Treluxe combo (Treluxe UK leave-in, KCPP, Treluxe Hi Def gel); or Eco gel alone (Argan or Olive). Avoiding Buildup with low glycerin, coconut, shea, honey, non-keratin protein.
  • irishlass1029irishlass1029 Posts: 15Registered Users
    Thank goodness that has lessened as I have aged, but it used to happen ALL THE TIME. It's a very unusual color red and very curly (4a) so people were constantly pawing at it. Talk about violating your space! It's SO rude, but yet they think if they are saying something "nice" it makes it okay. Wonder how they would feel if I went up and grabbed their "love handles" or belly fat or something?
  • MissTissMissTiss Posts: 3Registered Users
    Thank goodness that has lessened as I have aged, but it used to happen ALL THE TIME. It's a very unusual color red and very curly (4a) so people were constantly pawing at it. Talk about violating your space! It's SO rude, but yet they think if they are saying something "nice" it makes it okay. Wonder how they would feel if I went up and grabbed their "love handles" or belly fat or something?



    Ha! Hey Irish, glad to see you in here...I mostly lurk, but had to post after I saw you.
    Your curls are lookin' good.

    Anyhow, I was just griping at my own mother for this. She started relaxing my hair (3c) at age 7 or so and I didn't stop until over 20 years later...so now that there are they pretty curls, she can't keep her mitts out of it. LOL!

    My friends do it too and I cringe. Bah!
  • cherubcurlscherubcurls Posts: 29Registered Users
    but I had to post to this topic...Since going natural this has become a source of frustration. I'm not sure why people think it's okay to touch a grown person's hair. The funny thing is I can always see the glint in their eyes...you know, that twinkle that says, "I just gotta touch your hair..."

    I'm wondering if we should touch their hair in response...or should I turn the other cheek...LOL....if anyone has a premptive measure that will stop folks from touching hair without premission, please post...
  • MissTissMissTiss Posts: 3Registered Users
    but I had to post to this topic...Since going natural this has become a source of frustration. I'm not sure why people think it's okay to touch a grown person's hair. The funny thing is I can always see the glint in their eyes...you know, that twinkle that says, "I just gotta touch your hair..."

    I'm wondering if we should touch their hair in response...or should I turn the other cheek...LOL....if anyone has a premptive measure that will stop folks from touching hair without premission, please post...

    Hahaha, premptive measures...I see that glint too. I've resorted to looking them straight in the eye, one fingers raised and I say, "Don't even think about it".

    That usually works. I've been blasted from behind once, but most people are bold enough to touch your hair in front of your face. Blows my mind. That and when people touch pregnant bellies without permission. If someone ever does that to me, they're pulling back a bloody stump. I take no prisoners when it comes to my personal space.
  • southrncurlssouthrncurls Posts: 152Registered Users
    I can remember very well when I was about seven and I had cotton white hair (of course it was curly) and I lived in TX about 5 miles from the border of Mexico. I use to have tons of people come up to my mom and I and ask if they could touch my hair because they weren't use to seeing such hair. It use to bother me when I was little but hey at least they asked. This was way before I worried about frizz.
    But if anyone touched my hair at random (besides my husband) I think I would go crazy!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]3B
    Beginner CG.
    Currently using; MOP C-System Hydrating Conditioner (once a week), Aloeba Conditioner,CHS Curl Keeper, Jessicurl RR and CCSS, KBB Hair Milk (Sometimes)
    Hopelessly Devoted to: My diffuser
    Northern New Jersey by way of the South.

    "In a perfect world every dog would have a home and every home would have a dog."
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Admiring is one thing but touching is another.

    Hey, you have a really cute hiney - *pinch* I could get arrested for that! :disgust:
  • SarcasmIsBeautySarcasmIsBeauty Posts: 5,640Registered Users
    This happens to me EVERYDAYYYYYY, it's beyond annoying and makes me want to kick people! I really hate when people touch my hair, everyone sees my hair curly all the time (I rarely straighten my hair, and have been natural all my life) but yet people still like to touch. I don't understand!
    Turtles: omg please don't put that in your moo moo

    Nej: too late... moo moo has been infiltrated.
  • mrl234mrl234 Posts: 548Registered Users
    Yeah, it's happened to me. If it's a friend it's a little annoying but I can deal with it. I had a few strangers do it when my hair was super long. SO annoying.
    :happy10:
    fia 2C/3A-F-iii, sensitive to some proteins
    CGish since 10-16-08
    Low-poo: Yes to Carrots Daily Pampering Shampoo (1-2x/week)
    Rinse outs: Yes to Carrots Pampering Mud Conditioner
    Styling: a little bit of leave in and a little bit of KCCC, diffusing
    Olive oil DTs, honey rinses in the summer :)
  • Lil'curlsLil'curls Posts: 275Registered Users
    I thought I was alone in this problem, but I'm slowly starting to learn, I'm never alone in any of my hair problems.

    This kid who sits behind me in class is constantly touching my hair, and it makes me so angry. I'm friends with him, but still. I try to just relax and say "it's just hair" but it kills me. He never does something simple, he has to mess it up completely. He plays with it as if he is planning on putting it in a bun.and comments on how it makes me look Greek. One time, I gave him a hair tie to try to keep it like that, and it actually looked pretty good. Then, he tells me "I'm going to come over and do your hair for you. I'll straighten it out. " That's when he really starts to get to me.

    Now I'm really tense and angry just thinking about it.
    Teenage curly with 3a-3b course curls
    Shampoo: DCLP
    Rinse Out: GVP conditioning balm in winter. Devacurl One Condition in Summer
    Co Wash: Suave
    Styler: LA Looks Curl Gel
    Leave in: Devacurl One Condition

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  • rnconniesfrnconniesf Posts: 256Registered Users
    Happens all the time. I liken it to being pregnant and having strangers touch your belly. No respect. But I did have a fun experience last weekend with this. I was waiting in line to buy tickets to State Band Championships and I feel this tug on the back of my hair, right behind my ear (it hurt too!). I turn around guns blazing to find this little old lady with still curly, pure white hair. She smiles at me and says " I always wanted to do that to another curly top but you hardly ever see them now a days". She goes on to tell me that she's been curly since the late 20s "When it was all the rage". I just had to laugh. My husband was just waiting for the explosion he knew was coming by the look on my face but I just couldn't do it. How does one blast a 4 foot tall lady who has to be in her 90s? I let her slide, but no one else better try it or they'll get an ear full.
    Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • curlygirly9507curlygirly9507 Posts: 11Registered Users
    my friends do that ALL the time i will be like taking a test and i will feel someone touching my hair lol it gets really annoying after a while plus they make it all frizzy!!:p
    I'm pretty new to CG and im so excited to see how this works! 3a/3b hair.

    im a huge fan of taylor swift's hair :happy3:

    currently using: tresseme moisture rich conditioner and leave-in, herbal essences totally twisted conditioner and gel, and garnier fructis sleek and shine anti-humidity smoothing milk

    want to try: ???

    curls are a gift from God:love5:
  • finchfinch Posts: 333Registered Users
    My kids are constantly messing with my hair now that I wear it curly (I used to straighten). The baby has a thing for grabbing my curls when he's on the changing table, especially. :binky:
    Medium texture, normal-high porosity, wavy-curly 2c to 3a-ish hair that is MOISTURE HUNGRY!!!
    Currently recovering from a protein hair crisis. :( My hair hates protein, apparently.

  • cherubcurlscherubcurls Posts: 29Registered Users
    MissTiss wrote: »
    but I had to post to this topic...Since going natural this has become a source of frustration. I'm not sure why people think it's okay to touch a grown person's hair. The funny thing is I can always see the glint in their eyes...you know, that twinkle that says, "I just gotta touch your hair..."

    I'm wondering if we should touch their hair in response...or should I turn the other cheek...LOL....if anyone has a premptive measure that will stop folks from touching hair without premission, please post...

    Hahaha, premptive measures...I see that glint too. I've resorted to looking them straight in the eye, one fingers raised and I say, "Don't even think about it".

    That usually works. I've been blasted from behind once, but most people are bold enough to touch your hair in front of your face. Blows my mind. That and when people touch pregnant bellies without permission. If someone ever does that to me, they're pulling back a bloody stump. I take no prisoners when it comes to my personal space.

    Perhaps we could have a button that we wear with our pointer finger on it with the saying, "No one messes with these tresses! Please don't touch without this curly's permission". I believe this could work with the take no prisoners approach :laughing1:
  • Twilight AngelTwilight Angel Posts: 28Registered Users
    I take it as a huge compliment. It means your hair looks so silky and soft people want to touch it. But after that it tends to get frizzy :p
  • Eilis19Eilis19 Posts: 44Registered Users
    I've never had a stranger touch my hair, when I was little people used to ask my mom if she permed my hair and she'd look at them, then her hyperactive 3 year old. back at them and go "are you kidding?" I have a friend who will isolate one curl and pull on it and let it go saying "curly, straight! curly, straight!" Her hair is stick straight so it's all entertaining for her. I don't mind it, I really quite like having my hair played with, you know, by friends and family and stylists who I'm paying, but I don't know what I'd do with a stranger o_O
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Waiting for the day when the man who wears the combat boots at the foot of my bed comes home.

  • pinkwolfpinkwolf Posts: 430Registered Users
    I've never had a stranger come up to me and touch my hair. But when I was a little girl, people would ALWAYS touch it.
    *Natural 3C/TWA* :toothy7:
    Wash: BS/ACV, ABS, KC Come Clean
    Conditioner: Garnier WB Honey Treasures
    , Garnier WB Apple & Green Tea
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    DC: Garnier WB Honey Treasures Mask, SM 10-N-1

    PT: Super Mayo Deep Conditioning Treatment
    Styler:
    KCCC, Eco Styler
    Leave-In: KCKT, Garnier WB Coconut & Cocoa Butter LI
    Moisturizer:
    Whipped Shea Butter
    Oil/Sealant:
    EVCO, Jojoba
  • curlieforlifecurlieforlife Posts: 38Registered Users
    Usaully people ask me first. Usually. My old Aquitaines, who unfortunately have this inferior complex about there own curly hair(the black people good/bad hair belief) would think that putting there hands thru my hair and brushing it dry was fun. Then they would laugh and see HA! i its tangled. OF course it is, the curls curl into each other over and over again, its not straight hair. You can't comb the it over and over again when dry!!! But these people never wear the hair curly unless there taking their weave out or unbraideding it*rolls eyes*. It's sad that only 1or 2 out of hundred black women in my school wear there hair natural. Anyways i undertsand how you feel. It's fine when someone asks me and hold my hair gently, but its not cool with they try to brush my hair with there greasy comb or nasty hands.
  • JerriJerri Posts: 30Registered Users
    Sometimes I'm okay with the boinging if they do it the right way. But some people just grab a chunk of my hair, yank, and *poof* frizzy hair that appears after all my hard work. I have to get up early to take a shower, and people just feel free to ruin it.

    I think I'll just prepare a spray bottle and whenever a person pulls, I'll spray them. Works with pets. And if it's a straight head, they'll be extra mad cause it'll ruin their hair :laughing5: Honestly, people do not know their manners anymore!
    3b/c Curly since Feburary 2008, CG since June 2008, Lurking for a long time

    Co Wash: Trader Joe's Refresh
    Conditioner: Trader Joe's Nourish
    Leave in: Trader Joe's Nourish
    Styling: Loob, Loreal Melting Gel
    Distribute and Detangle with Denman
  • Froggie427Froggie427 Posts: 19Registered Users
    I had this exact problem with my best friend! She has pin straight, fine hair that won't hold any sort of curl (not even a perm!), so she's constantly telling me how much she wishes she had my hair. Its nice to hear compliments, but she doesn't understand curly hair at all! She'll play with my hair and touch it when she compliments it and end up making all frizzy. I try to tell her, but she just doesn't get it all (it doesn't help that she's a little air headed on top of it...)

    Besides this, I've had people in tons of stores touch my hair, and people set behind me in classes (all the way into college!) pull my hair "to see it bounce back up"! One women even walked up to me tonight with her friend, grabbed a chunk of my hair and loudly told her friend "I want a perm like this girl's"! 1. Just ask and maybe you can touch, 2. my hair is not a perm! Too many people assume that it has to be!
  • ondreaondrea Posts: 12Registered Users
    I currently work as a cashier and sometimes after customers compliment my hair they ask if they can touch it. No idea why, but as long as they ask, it's totally okay with me. (Assuming they aren't raking their hands through it!) I take it as a compliment, my hair apparently looks healthy and shiny enough so that someone would WANT to touch it. I doubt that people would want to touch a frizzball mess. :wink:
    Thick, dyed dark brown, 2c/3a in long layers to mid back

    Shampoo:
    Suave Sleek

    Conditioner:
    Organics Hair Mayonnaise or Suave Sleek

    Leave in:
    Herbal Esscenses None of Your Frizzness leave in creme
    Luster's Pink Original hair lotion
    Smooth 'N Shine Hair polisher
  • nutterbutterflynutterbutterfly Posts: 137Registered Users
    this. happens. all. the. time.

    first, there are the girls in my class. who just like to touch it, play with it, and make it frizzy. and i'm like, okay, you can stop now.

    second, little old ladies. I love them. but sometimes they just TOUCH. and depending on my mood, it's mostly okay.

    third, little kids. ohmygoodness. Last week I was babysitting and 2 of the little girls decided they wanted to play "doctor." that quickly turned to "stylist." And they took out this little plastic brush that might work on Barbie's hair but certainly not mine. Then, once I was at Target and a little 3 or 4 year old girl stands up in her carrt and *boing* the hair goes. Her mom apologized a lot, though.

    lastly, SISTER. with straight hair. who entirely messes it up, I mean I can't tell you what she does to it. Oh, well.

    goodness. If curly hair is so fun to touch, why don't more people grow it for themselves :tongue:
    I am a 3a/b with normal-coarse hair that is medium-thick and fairly porous.

    Currently using:
    ~VitaminShampoo (CG :mrgreen: )
    ~L'oreal Vive Pro Nutri Gloss for medium to long hair that's curly/wavy
    ......wow that is a mouthful.
    ~Garnier Fructis curl-shaping spray gel
    *or*
    ~Pantene curl defining mousse
  • OperaCurlsOperaCurls Posts: 1,101Registered Users
    I generally don't mind when people touch my hair, but then again I've never had someone walk up to me and deliberately grab my hair or make a big deal out of it. Standing in line at the grocery store and feeling a light tug from behind doesn't bother me. I'll either ignore it or turn around and smile at the person.

    HOWEVER.
    I have this one friend (God bless her, I love her dearly) who has thick, pin-straight hair and doesn't understand curls at all. And she thinks it's hilarious to make me frizzy. So, while almost everyone else has the common sense to gently take a curl between two fingers and "boing" it, she starts fiddling with the ends and combing her fingers through it! :angry5: And then she wonders why I yell at her. (she has been warned. Multiple times.)

    But, I did get my revenge. :toothy3: She sometimes curl-irons her hair into these big loopy wave-curls, so one day I just went up to her and started raking my fingers through it, and all the curls immediately fell out. She flipped, and I said "Wow, it must suck having someone run their fingers through your hair without permission and ruining your curls!" *pointed look*
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fopera-curls%2F" class="Popup (I cut my own hair)
    Pacific Northwest girl, color-treated fine 3B, med-low porosity

    Products: Suave Coconut condish, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, FSG or KCCC, AfroVeda Shea-Amla Cream
    I LOVE HENNA!
  • TillyMunchyWavesTillyMunchyWaves Posts: 671Registered Users
    You ladies must have pretty fantastic curls if people are irresistably drawn to touching your hair!

    This has never happened to me. Okay, one time I wore my hair down at a wedding, and an aunt who is a hairdresser touched my hair and complemented me on the waves. But that's it.
    Wavy, curly on the ends, 2C.
    Coarse to medium textured, porous, dry, and lots of it.
    Shampoo--HSH Pumpkin, Abba Pure Moisture
    LVPNG, HSH Pumpkin, Walgreen's Knockoffs--Condish/Cowash
    AOHR, Nexxus, EO--LI
    CK & ReCoil--Activator
    Suave Max Hold, Alagio Curl-Gel
    For inquiring minds who want to know:
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  • GoldenCurlyGirlGoldenCurlyGirl Posts: 1Registered Users
    I'm in highschool and I have a teacher who loves to pet my 4b hair. She acts like it is the most amazing things she has seen or felt in her life! it's actually kinda funny. People do it to me all the time. My hair is actually very short 1/2" so i can imagine how it will be when I grow out my hair and start wearing an afro.
    *(GoldenCurlyGodess)*
    :afro:HAPPY to be NAPPY!!!:afro:
  • jasminetoshjasminetosh Posts: 6Registered Users
    People don't touch my hair but they often say to me "We're not in the 80s, you know!". And I even heard this once (the person that was saying it didn't know I was there!): "I think Jas is so uncool, just look at her hair. Uh, like, who has a poodle hair like that nowadays?" That makes me mad! Since when did it became fashionable to have flat, thin and ironed hair? I thought that volume was more feminine and sexy than lack of volume. By the way my hair is 2c.

    Just see how things have changed:
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fskycelebs.co.uk%2Fpicture.php%3Fg%3DTina_Caspary%26amp%3Bp%3D02" class="Popup
    A picture form "Can't Buy Me Love" movie (1987), a year before I was born.

    And now...
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.todaystylist.com%2Fturban_hair_hat_magic.jpg" class="Popup

    Excuse me but the hair of the second picture looks as dry as straw.
    2010s: Curly hair's comeback in fashion!
    Tina_Caspary_18.jpg
  • AlicektnAlicektn Posts: 64Registered Users
    Straight hair can be nice too (but not as nice as wavy/curly hihihi).

    Anyway, in general I can't stand people who are stuck to what the media say is beautiful. Don't pay any attention to what they say, please!

    The less "trendy" and more open minded people are the ones that feel the urge to boing my hair and the ones who tend to love it.
    Medium textured,porous, fragile 3b/3c :cherry:

    Currently liking:
    Shampoo
    Lavera /Almond milk
    Leave ins
    Yalia / Coconut-Stringing nettle Conditioner
    Jojoba oil
    Coconut oil
    Hair styling
    Lavera / Styling mousse

  • angela3213angela3213 Posts: 74Registered Users
    It happens to me all the time. Mostly my friends though. It is so annoying. I hate when people touch my hair.
    About once a week - Condition with Curls Milkshake. Comb in Kinky Curly Leave In Conditioner & Kinky Curly Curling Custard after squeezing most of the water out of my hair. Use table top dryer for 10 minutes. Use diffuser for 10 minutes.
    Daily - Lightly wet hair. Comb in a little Kinky Curly Curling Custard if needed. Use table top dryer for a few minutes or let air dry.
    Shampoo - Only before straightening.