CurlTalk

Guy just needing a bunch of advice

Popnfrsh24Popnfrsh24 Posts: 14Registered Users
Hey there. My name is Joey and I am needing a bunch of help. I believe I have type 4a or 4b hair, and I have always not been a fan of it. All the time I get references as to looking like Screech from saved by the bell, or Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World. Because of that, My self confidence with the ladies is not too high because what girl really finds Screech attractive!?

I have always been wanting to change the style of my hair, but I thought that I just had to deal with what god gave me. Is this true?

I have heard about relaxing, and I think that might just be pretty cool. I think having straight hair would just be a really cool change for once. I have also heard about some products (curlisto?) that may relax the intensity of my curls a bit. I would love to have just a more relaxed hair style instead of this tight wound up ball on my head. Do you know if any of these products would work for my hair? Or how long would my hair have to be for a relaxer to work?

Here is a very small picture of what my hair looks like. I would post more, but does anyone know how i can post bigger pictures without going over the 19kB limit?


Thanks,

Joey

Comments

  • CurlLeeCurlLee Posts: 221Registered Users
    well first if your getting compared to screech or cory matthews you def are not a 4a/b. can't tell from your pic becuse your hair is to short, but you maybe a 2c 3a. but before you think about permanently straighting your hair have yo tried the CGuy method or something like it. maybe if you took a different approch to you hair you might find that you like it curly. you should read some of the boards here and try some of the stuff out.

    permanently straighting you hair should be your last option.

    as far as bigger pictures, you could either resize your pics or uploading them to a site like photobucket and then putting them here.
    3b here 4a there 3c everywhere
    talk about a mix up :toothy10:

    elevator doors open...

    random girl: ohhh, you have curly hair

    elevator doors begins to close...

    random girl's friend:i think he knows that already

    elevator doors close...
  • AG.AG. Posts: 1,519Registered Users
    Welcome!



    Have you heard/read about the CG method?




    .
    Northern Colombia.
  • Popnfrsh24Popnfrsh24 Posts: 14Registered Users
    CurlLee wrote: »
    as far as bigger pictures, you could either resize your pics or uploading them to a site like photobucket and then putting them here.

    Well thats the thing...that picture originally was a really big picture, but when I tried to upload it on here, the size limit is 19 Kb. So i REALLY had to shrink it alot. Anyone know what else to do about that?
  • BotticelliBabeBotticelliBabe Posts: 1,574Registered Users
    Actually, it depends on the file type. If it's a .jpeg, .bmp, or .gif, then your limit is 19.5 kb. But if it's a .jpg, then you have up to 97.7 kb. Try resaving it in your photo program with .jpg as your file extension, and as long as it's no bigger than 97.7 kb, it should work.
    BB

    35ncsigpic-vi.jpg
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.BotticelliBotanicals.etsy.com" class="Popup
    BSL/Mid Back, thick 3a/b

    Botticelli Botanicals Meringue
    Botticelli Botanicals Smoothie
    Botticelli Botanicals Styling Mudd w/ double avocado oil and double agave
    Botticelli Botanicals Lime in the Coconut Butter
  • BotticelliBabeBotticelliBabe Posts: 1,574Registered Users
    I'm sorry - I didn't even try to answer your hair question! :silent:

    Ok, first, if you're getting compared to Screech and Corey Matthews, you for SURE are not a 2c/3a - I'm a 2c/3a, and my hair is nowhere near that curly. I'd say (from that comparison and what I can see in the pic you posted), you're probably closer to a 3b/c, maybe leaning into 4a territory.

    PLEASE don't do a relaxer! You'll hate the texture, and the only way to get rid of it is to cut it off (think of it like a reverse perm). I'm not sure how long your hair is when pulled straight, but maybe you want to try a homemade caramel treatment. From what I understand, it loosens your curls a bit and really softens your hair. Just be sure to either liquefy the bananas, or better yet, use banana baby food from a jar. Otherwise you'll be pulling banana chunks from your hair for two days. *lol* It looks like BugEyeZ has a recipe for a good one in her fotki, here:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2FMicheli07%2Fhomemade-concoctions-1%2Fcarmel-treatments%2Fcarmel-treatmens%2F" class="Popup

    Follow the main recipe she has in the first pic, and then tweak it like she did for the second pic. Bananas are the key, I think!

    But I would try this before doing something as permanent as a relaxer, because this will eventually "wear off" and return your hair to it's natural state. Bottom line is you don't have to shave your head or straighten your hair to be sexy! You can pull this off! :toothy3:

    ETA: Here's a thread discussing what the homemade caramel treatment does, and a few different recipes for it (it's not written in stone - no homemde treatment ever is!).

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=58642
    BB

    35ncsigpic-vi.jpg
    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.BotticelliBotanicals.etsy.com" class="Popup
    BSL/Mid Back, thick 3a/b

    Botticelli Botanicals Meringue
    Botticelli Botanicals Smoothie
    Botticelli Botanicals Styling Mudd w/ double avocado oil and double agave
    Botticelli Botanicals Lime in the Coconut Butter
  • Popnfrsh24Popnfrsh24 Posts: 14Registered Users
    I'm sorry - I didn't even try to answer your hair question! :silent:

    Ok, first, if you're getting compared to Screech and Corey Matthews, you for SURE are not a 2c/3a - I'm a 2c/3a, and my hair is nowhere near that curly. I'd say (from that comparison and what I can see in the pic you posted), you're probably closer to a 3b/c, maybe leaning into 4a territory.

    PLEASE don't do a relaxer! You'll hate the texture, and the only way to get rid of it is to cut it off (think of it like a reverse perm). I'm not sure how long your hair is when pulled straight, but maybe you want to try a homemade caramel treatment. From what I understand, it loosens your curls a bit and really softens your hair. Just be sure to either liquefy the bananas, or better yet, use banana baby food from a jar. Otherwise you'll be pulling banana chunks from your hair for two days. *lol* It looks like BugEyeZ has a recipe for a good one in her fotki, here:

    /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2FMicheli07%2Fhomemade-concoctions-1%2Fcarmel-treatments%2Fcarmel-treatmens%2F" class="Popup

    Follow the main recipe she has in the first pic, and then tweak it like she did for the second pic. Bananas are the key, I think!

    But I would try this before doing something as permanent as a relaxer, because this will eventually "wear off" and return your hair to it's natural state. Bottom line is you don't have to shave your head or straighten your hair to be sexy! You can pull this off! :toothy3:

    ETA: Here's a thread discussing what the homemade caramel treatment does, and a few different recipes for it (it's not written in stone - no homemde treatment ever is!).

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=58642

    So, what will happen to the texture of my hair when I relax it? Will it get really dry or what? Already my hair is very coarse to the touch....most people just compare it to a brillo pad =( =(. So I mean would it make it any worse than it is off now?

    And for that caramel treatment....hmmm i might have to try that out soon. I was wondering though....are there just like products (shampoos, conditioners, gels?) that I can buy that can loosen up my curls? I don't care if I dont have straight hair...I really just want wavy hair thats not just like a brown q-tip on the top of my head.

    Joey
  • CelebrationCelebration Posts: 134Registered Users
    Hi, Joey,
    Please be sure to check out the Curly Girl/Guy method if you are concerned about your hair's texture. The basic premise is that you don't use regular shampoo on your hair because it has sulfates in it. Sulfates dry out your hair. You'll understand once you look around some more at the board. Follow the links from other posters and you will find ways to take care of you hair, which makes your curls smoother (not straighter) and shinier.
    The thing about using products in your hair is that you can use them to sort of clump together your curls and make them more defined. This eliminates the look of one big mass of hair that is stuck together! I promise, once you stop using shampoo everyday, and start properly conditioning your hair, and start using the right gel or cream on it, you will be much happier.
    I can't suggest the right gel for your hair because there are too many options. Just look around the board and find someone who has curls similar to yours, and follow what that person does.
    One final thought about relaxers/straighteners. Your hair looks pretty short. If you spend the $$$ to relax it, then get it cut again in 6 weeks, you are going to have to relax it again. Trust me, that would get expensive.
    Hope this helps. I hope you learn to love your hair the way many of us here do. Eventually, you will have so much pride in your curls that the negative comments will roll off your back!

    Good luck!
    CG Since 2/06
    3a/3b, Coarse, Very thick, bra strap length and growing!
    Fotki Album

    Mary Kay Beauty Consultant

  • DtoidaDtoida Posts: 1Registered Users
    Hey Joey hows the search going? any progress?

    Im partly bumping your thread to get more responses and partly highjacking it, sorry man!

    I have a similar dilemma, my hair is very curly and very course but unlike type 4 hair it is thick thick thick!

    More or less it coils into a ball almost like a caucasian version of an afro :afro:, its unmanageable. I have to wear a hat while it transitions from wet to dry in order to keep it down and not fluff out to uncontrollable.

    any ideas besides getting it buzzzzed off?
  • Popnfrsh24Popnfrsh24 Posts: 14Registered Users
    Umm im just trying to get some product and do some no shampoo stuff. My sister works at like a high end salon so she is asking the people there what i can do, but yeah im still pretty clueless right now. Do you have any suggestions on what i shoudl do?

    I just looked at your pictures...and i really have like the EXACT same hair as you! its super thick and is just a white afro. What do you do to your hair to make it not just a frizzy poof ball? I would post my picture again but i think i lost the file on my computer...if you search for my other posts you can see what it looks like!
  • CrazyCurlyHairedGuyCrazyCurlyHairedGuy Posts: 151Registered Users
    Hey Joey! I would really suggest you try to CG method! It might help alot with the texture. I'm 3b/c..and I use to have the same problem with mine going afro-ish..but luckily my hair fixed it's self because the longer it got the more it separated and hung down instead. So maybe you should just let it grow out a little and then start using some products to define your curls. I think it's all about definition when you have poof-prone type hair like ours lol. And PLLLEASE don't get a relaxer!!! I praise god that i talked my mom talked me out of it when i was frustrated with my hair..so i just got my friend to flat iron my hair...and I didn't like it AT ALLL!! I was so glad to be able to wet my hair and have my curls back! lol

    Before(this was back in January..it makes me CRINGE..and I thought I was having a "good" hair day..eEEK!!)
    m174088322.jpg

    Before(When I had it straightened..EEEKx2)
    m174090967.jpg

    After(I think i was using sunsilk leavin in cream..but it's not CG so i can't use it any more)
    m173019804.jpg

    Trust me..if MY hair could go from that mini afro thing i had to some definition...yours can too! Just experiment with some products and find what works best for you!
    CG Since Nov 2008 and Currently using:
    Co-wash: VO5 strawberries and cream
    Conditioner: Suave Fresh Mountain Strawberries
    Gel:Fantasia IC Gel w/ Sparklites(only use when pulling my hair back in slick ponytail)

    Follow Me on Twitter~~~~~>www.twitter.com/CourtneyAllenW
  • CurlLeeCurlLee Posts: 221Registered Users
    Dtoida wrote: »
    Hey Joey hows the search going? any progress?

    Im partly bumping your thread to get more responses and partly highjacking it, sorry man!

    I have a similar dilemma, my hair is very curly and very course but unlike type 4 hair it is thick thick thick!

    More or less it coils into a ball almost like a caucasian version of an afro :afro:, its unmanageable. I have to wear a hat while it transitions from wet to dry in order to keep it down and not fluff out to uncontrollable.

    any ideas besides getting it buzzzzed off?


    have you tried like a moose or gel for more definition? becuse that seems to be the problem your having
    3b here 4a there 3c everywhere
    talk about a mix up :toothy10:

    elevator doors open...

    random girl: ohhh, you have curly hair

    elevator doors begins to close...

    random girl's friend:i think he knows that already

    elevator doors close...
  • Froggie427Froggie427 Posts: 19Registered Users
    My bf has 4a/4b hair (if it grows out you can touch it and leave a hand print in it!) and he has the same problem. We've resorted to mostly keeping his hair short since it has definition, its just "screech-y". It curls, but only straight up and out...

    When he grows it out, he usually uses Infusium-23 and my Herbal Essences Long-Term relationship conditioner and that seems to help some, but it's not ever going to make it "curl down" (his term) like 3a/b hair.
  • CurlLeeCurlLee Posts: 221Registered Users
    Froggie427 wrote: »
    My bf has 4a/4b hair (if it grows out you can touch it and leave a hand print in it!) and he has the same problem. We've resorted to mostly keeping his hair short since it has definition, its just "screech-y". It curls, but only straight up and out...

    When he grows it out, he usually uses Infusium-23 and my Herbal Essences Long-Term relationship conditioner and that seems to help some, but it's not ever going to make it "curl down" (his term) like 3a/b hair.


    the fact that the hair does not grown down does not make it 4a/b hair.

    having a tight curl pattern is what makes 4a/b hair.

    screech & cory matthews do not have 4a/b hair. their actual curl pattern is much looser. they just have a afro texture

    this is 4a/b hair and last time i checked screech & cory's hair didn't look like this...


    4a.jpg

    AshleyMcKenzie.jpg
    3b here 4a there 3c everywhere
    talk about a mix up :toothy10:

    elevator doors open...

    random girl: ohhh, you have curly hair

    elevator doors begins to close...

    random girl's friend:i think he knows that already

    elevator doors close...
  • sillyelliesillyellie Posts: 63Registered Users
    CurlLee wrote: »
    Froggie427 wrote: »
    My bf has 4a/4b hair (if it grows out you can touch it and leave a hand print in it!) and he has the same problem. We've resorted to mostly keeping his hair short since it has definition, its just "screech-y". It curls, but only straight up and out...

    When he grows it out, he usually uses Infusium-23 and my Herbal Essences Long-Term relationship conditioner and that seems to help some, but it's not ever going to make it "curl down" (his term) like 3a/b hair.


    the fact that the hair does not grown down does not make it 4a/b hair.

    having a tight curl pattern is what makes 4a/b hair.

    screech & cory matthews do not have 4a/b hair. their actual curl pattern is much looser. they just have a afro texture

    this is 4a/b hair and last time i checked screech & cory's hair didn't look like this...


    4a.jpg

    AshleyMcKenzie.jpg


    wow surprisingly i have never seen 4a/b that was long
    or wasnt straightened before. Maybe i need to go out more. lol Their texture super cute.

    :love5:
  • Froggie427Froggie427 Posts: 19Registered Users
    I know that thier hair texture is different, I was just giving it an example of how it looks when it grows out. When his is grown out, the curls are about pencil circumference, maybe a little smaller. And very, very dense. His hair is beautiful, but I can understand why he cuts it-he has to use 1/3rd of a bottle of shampoo on it, and people can be SO cruel about it.
  • curlydanicurlydani Posts: 45Registered Users
    If your saying that your hair texture is the same as Dtoida, then just using a sulfate free shampoo, conditioning, and then adding some mousse or gel might really help.

    But please to not get a relaxer. there will only be tears.
    trust me.
    i dont want to bring race into it or seem racist, because i am the furthest thing from it, being biracial myself, but most caucasian people dont need to get relaxers.
    Learn to embrace your curls. Most curly hair'd guys that i know dont even do that much to their hair and it comes out better than mine!! and i spend hours on it.lol.
    HTH
    ~Danielle:toothy8:
    3B/Cish- thick, just above shoulders


    Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50 Balanced
    Conditioner:Suave Daily Clarifying Conditioner
    Leave-In: still looking...
    Styler: KCCC


    event.png
  • catchthewavecatchthewave Posts: 2Registered Users
    based on the picture you put in, I like the way your hair looks
    :)
    but you could also try cutting it a little shorter, not completely buzzed off, but maybe so that it has deep waves rather than complete curls, if your hair will do that, and it would still look nice :)
    Poo & Co: VO5 moisture milks, Palmers c.nut oil formula
    Stylers: Pantene Breakage Defense, Epsom salt spray, Aussie Sprunch, SS Scrunching Spray, GF Surf Hair, Charles Worthington Big Waves def. creme, HE Mousse for Curls, Method of Style Curl Activator Styling Gel
    Hair: ~2 inches below BSL, curly on underside, wavy on top, straight at roots, can't handle a lot of products at once, use either creme, gel or mousse, 2nd day= generally loses wave, some can be revived with water & more product
  • jam6352jam6352 Posts: 99Registered Users
    Dude...both of ya'lls hair is adorable so just embrace it :) Relaxing is definitely not the way to go as it will PERMANENTLY change your har texture and will need even more care because of the damage it will cause. I would suggest the CG method ofr both of you. You should first start by getting rid of sulfate shampoos or products as those are the big biatches sucking the moisture out of your hair. Start to moisturize the crap out of your hair too. Wash with conditioners, deep condition weekly, and after you get done washing it put some oil or a moisturizer in your hair (preferably with no cones). Your hair will thank you. You might also want to try a protein treatment as well. Hope that helps you two!
    Low-Poo: Hairveda's Shampoo Bar
    Co- Wash: Suave Professionals
    Rinse-out Conditioners: HE LTR , GF Triple Nutrition, Lustrasilk Shea/Mango Cholesterol
    Deep Conditioner: Lustrasilk S/M Cholesterol + honey, EVOO, coconut oil

    Moisturizers:
    Hairveda's 3-n-1 Creme & Blended Beauty's Curl Styling Lotion