Halloween and Politics - S*cks

OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
I normally don't participate in politics because it just gets me so stressed out. But I just had to vent here - if no one comments - that's fine i just needed to get it off my chest.

So, I'm shopping in Target today trying to pick up some last minute Halloween candy. I happened down the costume isle to see if the prices had been marked down, I thought perhaps i could pick up something cute for little one for next year (too small this year). I'm in the middle of the isle and there are three other people there - a family - husband, wife and older son (I guess).

The husband and wife are at one end of the isle looking at costumes - I'm in the middle - the older son is at the other end of the isle.

The father shouts to the son - "What about this costume?", the son replies, "No thanks, I've already got my Obama costume!". I didn't look up I just froze - I felt my face get hot, but I refused to be provoked. Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle.:evil5:

I kept looking at the costumes for another minute or so then walked away. I wasn't sure what to do. I live in a predominantly white area, and I guess I felt a little threatened that the three of them felt so comfortable - and seemed to be speaking the way they were for my benefit (I think most people can tell when someone is speaking differently just to get your attention). Perhaps I shouldn't let it bother me.

Given my background, I try not to point out things like race, but it just seems that it's become SUCH a strong and disturbing part of this election.
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Comments

  • eche428eche428 Registered Users Posts: 2,782 Curl Connoisseur
    Oh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry they made you feel bad. Pigs. People can really be pigs!
    < member since 2006 (no idea where 1969 came from :toothy10:).

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  • SarcasmIsBeautySarcasmIsBeauty Registered Users Posts: 5,640
    :pukeleft::thumbdown:

    Sorry that happened, some people are just idiots and think they are above the rest. I really don't understand what they get out of it. :angry7:
    Turtles: omg please don't put that in your moo moo

    Nej: too late... moo moo has been infiltrated.
  • alacurlalacurl Registered Users Posts: 1,199 Curl Novice
    I'm so sorry that happened to you. People like that are scum.
    shoulder-length 3a/b, depending on weather and products (or lack of products!)
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    Thanks for responding. Yeah, these people were idiots:goofy:, and the parents have obviously been teaching the kid to be this way:sad1:.

    You know, i actually do have some conservative views, but it's people like this who make it so hard to vote Republican. I know there are rac*sts on sides - believe me I do. But, it just seems like the Republican side is in your face about it. The Democrats seem to reach out to all - whereas the Republicans separate themselves, so that even if someone else (another race)is for their side it's just hard because it's as if they don't want you. I'm not speaking for all Republicans, but the ones I've listened to - at least the Hannities and the Limbaughes, seem hell bent on it being an us versus them kind of thing.
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  • CottonCandyCurlsCottonCandyCurls Registered Users Posts: 344
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »
    Thanks for responding. Yeah, these people were idiots:goofy:, and the parents have obviously been teaching the kid to be this way:sad1:.

    You know, i actually do have some conservative views, but it's people like this who make it so hard to vote Republican. I know there are rac*sts on sides - believe me I do. But, it just seems like the Republican side is in your face about it. The Democrats seem to reach out to all - whereas the Republicans separate themselves, so that even if someone else (another race)is for their side it's just hard because it's as if they don't want you. I'm not speaking for all Republicans, but the ones I've listened to - at least the Hannities and the Limbaughes, seem hell bent on it being an us versus them kind of thing.

    Yeah, your generalizations are just that. I wasn't there and can't glean from your post how nasty this guy was but don't let one knucklehead ruin your day or your political affiliations. Limbaugh and Hannity are bad examples because they lean more towards entertainment than representatives of the party. There is a full range of opinions and people on both sides of the aisle. And an us vs. them thing is anywhere and everywhere. It's just an unfortunate defense mechanism built into most all human beings. Focus on doing you, and forget about the knuckleheads amongst us.
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    Yeah, your generalizations are just that. I wasn't there and can't glean from your post how nasty this guy was but don't let one knucklehead ruin your day or your political affiliations. Limbaugh and Hannity are bad examples because they lean more towards entertainment than representatives of the party. There is a full range of opinions and people on both sides of the aisle. And an us vs. them thing is anywhere and everywhere. It's just an unfortunate defense mechanism built into most all human beings. Focus on doing you, and forget about the knuckleheads amongst us.

    My generalizations are just what? I'd rather you explain this to me than make an assumption about what you mean.

    Before you reply - let me just make one thing clear. I am not a debater - there are plenty of people here that you can argue back and forth with who will give you a real run for your money and probably keep you pretty entertained in the process. I'm not one of those people. If i ask a question, I ask it because i really want an answer, not because I'm being sarcastic. I do not resort to insults if I disagree with something you say, and I won't tolerate being insulted. If we aren't on the same page and can't get on the same page, I'd rather agree to disagree and be done with it than to argue back and forth. I'm no political science major and I normally keep my political views to myself - I just felt the need to get some things off my chest, which i did.

    Now regarding the rest of your comment. After rereading my post, I suppose it does seem that I'm generalizing, though I was trying to keep my remarks as balanced as I could (i.e. I know there are rac*sts on sides - believe me I do" (I meant to say, I know there are rac*sts on both sides...); "it just seems like"; "it's as if"; "I'm not speaking for all Republicans" (what I meant to say was, I'm not speaking about all Republicans) ).

    Regarding the guy's comment - I was there - it was nasty.
    ... but don't let one knucklehead ruin your day or your political affiliations.

    And I agree that i shouldn't let one "knucklehead" ruin my day (I consider myself an independent), and I didn't, but I was still insulted and bothered by what took place. I have no idea what the costume looked like, but the tone was sarcastic and snide, so I assumed that the costume probably wasn't anything positive or "cute". I figure the parents taught this kid to be this way, and if they didn't teach him to be this way, they certainly didn't correct him either. I can only assume they are Republicans, as I doubt a Democrat would make a joke about an Obama costume in that manner - though, I could be wrong:dontknow:.
    And an us vs. them thing is anywhere and everywhere. It's just an unfortunate defense mechanism built into most all human beings.

    When will we learn that as a country we all go up together or down together? We have a common enemy out there that wants to see us all crash and burn, we should be putting our energy into fighting together against that enemy vs fighting each other. It is an us vs them - it's an us - as in Americans, and a them - as in anyone who wants to see this country destroyed.
    Focus on doing you, and forget about the knuckleheads amongst us.

    I will definitely focus on me and vote the best way I see fit. My comment about Republicans comes only from my own personal experience. When I watched the DNC, I saw people of all walks of life, every color, etc. standing side by side. When I watched the RNC, I didn't see the same thing. That's all.

    What happened today was just a bad thing, it really shouldn't be about Republican or Democrat, but I made it that way. My comment came from feeling like my choice of voting is limited because one party acts as if they wouldn't want my vote anyway. I'm not saying I would vote Republican in this election and I'm not saying I won't (I'll keep that to myself), but if I wanted to vote republican because I shared similiar beliefs, it seems as if my vote would be unwanted. I think many people of color have conservative beliefs too but they just don't feel connected to a party that seems to favor homogeneity. Democrats really do seem to know how to pull all kinds of people together - I think that's pretty cool.
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  • CottonCandyCurlsCottonCandyCurls Registered Users Posts: 344
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »
    Yeah, your generalizations are just that. I wasn't there and can't glean from your post how nasty this guy was but don't let one knucklehead ruin your day or your political affiliations. Limbaugh and Hannity are bad examples because they lean more towards entertainment than representatives of the party. There is a full range of opinions and people on both sides of the aisle. And an us vs. them thing is anywhere and everywhere. It's just an unfortunate defense mechanism built into most all human beings. Focus on doing you, and forget about the knuckleheads amongst us.

    My generalizations are just what? I'd rather you explain this to me than make an assumption about what you mean.

    Before you reply - let me just make one thing clear. I am not a debater - there are plenty of people here that you can argue back and forth with who will give you a real run for your money and probably keep you pretty entertained in the process. I'm not one of those people. If i ask a question, I ask it because i really want an answer, not because I'm being sarcastic. I do not resort to insults if I disagree with something you say, and I won't tolerate being insulted. If we aren't on the same page and can't get on the same page, I'd rather agree to disagree and be done with it than to argue back and forth. I'm no political science major and I normally keep my political views to myself - I just felt the need to get some things off my chest, which i did.

    Now regarding the rest of your comment. After rereading my post, I suppose it does seem that I'm generalizing, though I was trying to keep my remarks as balanced as I could (i.e. I know there are rac*sts on sides - believe me I do" (I meant to say, I know there are rac*sts on both sides...); "it just seems like"; "it's as if"; "I'm not speaking for all Republicans" (what I meant to say was, I'm not speaking about all Republicans) ).

    Regarding the guy's comment - I was there - it was nasty.
    ... but don't let one knucklehead ruin your day or your political affiliations.

    And I agree that i shouldn't let one "knucklehead" ruin my day (I consider myself an independent), and I didn't, but I was still insulted and bothered by what took place. I have no idea what the costume looked like, but the tone was sarcastic and snide, so I assumed that the costume probably wasn't anything positive or "cute". I figure the parents taught this kid to be this way, and if they didn't teach him to be this way, they certainly didn't correct him either. I can only assume they are Republicans, as I doubt a Democrat would make a joke about an Obama costume in that manner - though, I could be wrong:dontknow:.
    And an us vs. them thing is anywhere and everywhere. It's just an unfortunate defense mechanism built into most all human beings.

    When will we learn that as a country we all go up together or down together? We have a common enemy out there that wants to see us all crash and burn, we should be putting our energy into fighting together against that enemy vs fighting each other. It is an us vs them - it's an us - as in Americans, and a them - as in anyone who wants to see this country destroyed.
    Focus on doing you, and forget about the knuckleheads amongst us.

    I will definitely focus on me and vote the best way I see fit. My comment about Republicans comes only from my own personal experience. When I watched the DNC, I saw people of all walks of life, every color, etc. standing side by side. When I watched the RNC, I didn't see the same thing. That's all.

    What happened today was just a bad thing, it really shouldn't be about Republican or Democrat, but I made it that way. My comment came from feeling like my choice of voting is limited because one party acts as if they wouldn't want my vote anyway. I'm not saying I would vote Republican in this election and I'm not saying I won't (I'll keep that to myself), but if I wanted to vote republican because I shared similiar beliefs, it seems as if my vote would be unwanted. I think many people of color have conservative beliefs too but they just don't feel connected to a party that seems to favor homogeneity. Democrats really do seem to know how to pull all kinds of people together - I think that's pretty cool.

    Oy vey, I should probably bold and quote more to avoid confusion. When I said your generalizations are just that, that's all I meant. I didn't say they were hasty or faulty just general conclusions you came to about the people you encountered and how you perceive the parties. It's true that there are racists and numbskulls on both sides of the aisle. And I can see how someone would perceive one party being for rich old white men because that is most of what you see.

    I didn't respond to your post looking for an argument or because I thought you were sarcastic. I'm not a political science major either. I only posted because I was actually hoping you might feel better and not take it personally. I have no idea if that kid was a Democrat or not but I've heard some seriously unsavory things from Democrats who I thought were cool or progressive. They weren't. These parties are big tents with lots of voting blocks all vying for clout and power. I learned some time ago to avoid making assumptions about whether people's political affiliations jibe with their social behavior. I'm not implying you do this just speaking about my own personal experience.

    As for the us vs. them I don't think it's that simple. And unfortunately evolution doesn't care much for Enlightenment or Egalitarianism. And I understand the warm fuzzy feelings of looking into a multi-culti DNC crowd. I get it. Your vote wouldn't be unwanted by the Republicans but who wants to be odd man out. Those are not strange sentiments at all. I find it interesting that a number of black conservatives are always indepedent conservatives, or libertarian conservatives. I don't know what all that is about because they tend to vote Republican anyway. Either way focus on doing you, and ignore the rest. It will all be good in the New Year. When politics is done, everyone has put on holiday weight, and everyone gets a clean slate.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »
    I kept looking at the costumes for another minute or so then walked away. I wasn't sure what to do. I live in a predominantly white area, and I guess I felt a little threatened that the three of them felt so comfortable - and seemed to be speaking the way they were for my benefit (I think most people can tell when someone is speaking differently just to get your attention). Perhaps I shouldn't let it bother me.

    Given my background, I try not to point out things like race, but it just seems that it's become SUCH a strong and disturbing part of this election.

    I'm so angry for you. I don't even know what to say to you. I'm also a brown-skinned woman living in an all white community. This election has made me hyper-aware that at the end of the day, I am different. Like you, I tend not to focus on race. But this election has highlighted how racist people can be and now whenever I'm out, I wonder if people are feeling threatened and resenting my presence. I'm not sure that even makes sense. Well, I guess all I'm saying is that now I am even more aware of the racial divide in this country and it makes me feel self-conscious at times. Particularly if someone acts like I'm invisible or is outright rude to me.

    My husband is white and Republican. He isn't a racist. But he has the luxury of giving people the benefit of the doubt when they're rude to him or are snickering in his presence. He'll always know that it isn't because of the color of his skin.

    Anyway, I am really sorry that happened to you.
  • wavycurly40+wavycurly40+ Registered Users Posts: 2,017 Curl Neophyte
    I'm really sorry this happened to you, too. I don't know what makes people think it's ok to act like this in a public place. And it's not JUST disrespectful and rude. If it was intentionally said for your benefit, that's a personal attack and attempted intimidation. People like this will hide behind the banner of free speech, but that's not what this is. The only thing I can think of to make you feel better is to say that scum like this are so far beneath you, they're not worth your time. But I hesitate to put it that way, because that can trivialize what they did. You're stronger than them -- I guess I'll put it that way.

    Wurly and proud!
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  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

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  • Myradella3Myradella3 Registered Users Posts: 2,481
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    Thanks so much for saying that. I don't either. I came to thread thinking it was about Palin dressing her baby as Dumbo. I don't get the offense. Not saying it wasn't there, I just don't get it.
  • gentleragegentlerage Registered Users Posts: 15
    I take it this way: SOME kind of costume was compared, in an unflattering and racist manner, to Barack Obama.

    My imagination is able to fill in the rest.
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Registered Users Posts: 628 Curl Neophyte
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?
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  • roseannadanaroseannadana Registered Users Posts: 5,633 Curl Connoisseur
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.

    I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Registered Users Posts: 628 Curl Neophyte
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.

    So he could have told her he had a Karl Marx outfit at home...? Why is the assumption it is something racial?
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  • mad scientistmad scientist Registered Users Posts: 3,530 Curl Neophyte

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.

    So he could have told her he had a Karl Marx outfit at home...? Why is the assumption it is something racial?

    I think that if it was a Karl Marx outfit, there wouldn't have been a "shush and a giggle" response from Mom.

    But you guys do bring up an interesting point. Politicians are mocked/lampooned/caricatured all the time (even the last Batman movie had its criminals wearing Nixon masks). Will doing the same to "President" Obama be off limits?
  • roseannadanaroseannadana Registered Users Posts: 5,633 Curl Connoisseur

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.

    So he could have told her he had a Karl Marx outfit at home...? Why is the assumption it is something racial?

    Because you can't look at someone and know they are a Marxist.

    I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    I didn't either. It was like there was a piece of very important information missing in the first post or something...?

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.



    In that case I probably would have assumed they were just McCain supporters.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Registered Users Posts: 628 Curl Neophyte

    I think it was probably "Then the mother walks by me to her son and says, "What costume is that?" - the son snickers and talks to her under his breath - she shooshes him with a giggle."

    To me it sounds as if there may have something sinister in their little inside joke.

    So he could have told her he had a Karl Marx outfit at home...? Why is the assumption it is something racial?

    Because you can't look at someone and know they are a Marxist.

    I guess I still don't get it. Maybe the kid said he had a terrorist costume at home. Who knows. Whatever it was, to assume it had to do with something racial is really to project your own issues on it IMO. Unless, like I said, there is a crucial element to this story missing, that would make everyone else understand (I'm not the only one who didn't get it).

    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:
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  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    I have been popping on and on the site I when I can find a minute (babysitting). I have every intention of coming back later and responding to everyone here when I have more time. But,I one quick thing I just had to do was to give you all a bit information about my background.

    My background is very much like Obama's, my mother and father divorced when I was 5 yrs old, and my mother got remarried to a white man - my stepfather. A man that I have been calling "dad" since i was 5 yrs old. I Do NOT go out of my way to find racial innuendos. In fact, I try very hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and try not assume that they are being racist - and if I have concerns I simply talk about it with them if i can. My "dad" taught me that.

    Truth be told if these people had said the same thing in a lower tone of voice, I probably would have just thought it was a slight against Obama - people do that - it's been happening on both sides of the fence - so whatever. The problem I had with what happened was that it was just the three of us in that aisle - and for crying out loud - they were not 100 yards away from each other. They were purposely talking loudly to get my attention. Keep in mind, they were talking to each other in a normal tone of voice when I first came around the corner and walked down the aisle. It was not until I was standing there that they started to shout past me. Now you can take it for what you think it was, but I was there, and I know when someone is talking in such a way to get my attention - there is no other explanation for their overtly obnoxious behavior. But you can call it something else if you'd like. I fear that they did what they did because they looked at me - assumed I was an Obama supporter - and (I deduced from their tone of voice) wanted to insult me:dontknow:.

    I have to run - I'll be back.
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  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Registered Users Posts: 628 Curl Neophyte
    medussa wrote: »
    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.

    I was not the only person who said they didn't get it.

    Seems to me that asking questions like this isn't appreciated, so I apologize. Obviously I wouldn't understand because when I hear people talking to themselves like that, I don't take it personally and assume they are doing it to antagonize me. Regardless of what color their skin is.
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  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    medussa wrote: »
    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.

    I was not the only person who said they didn't get it.

    Seems to me that asking questions like this isn't appreciated, so I apologize. Obviously I wouldn't understand because when I hear people talking to themselves like that, I don't take it personally and assume they are doing it to antagonize me. Regardless of what color their skin is.

    No, no, no. I just wonder why you didn't take her word for it. I read the original post and read the social situation as Onyx did. They were whispering and the young man's mother shushed him (ie; he was saying something he shouldn't have been saying in mixed company). He wasn't saying something totally innocent and benign or mom wouldn't have been trying to shut him up.
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    medussa wrote: »
    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.

    I was not the only person who said they didn't get it.

    Seems to me that asking questions like this isn't appreciated, so I apologize. Obviously I wouldn't understand because when I hear people talking to themselves like that, I don't take it personally and assume they are doing it to antagonize me. Regardless of what color their skin is.

    It seems to me that after explaining the experience - at least a few times - that if you still don't understand it's because you simply don't want to. And that's perfectly fine.
    Currently:Alaffia Shea & Coconut Enriching Shampoo, Alaffia Virgin Coconut & Shea Enriching Hair Lotion, Qhemet Amla Olive Heavy Cream, Qhemet Honeybush Tea Gel.

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  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    medussa wrote: »
    Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.

    "...to assume it had to do with something racial is really to project your own issues on it IMO".

    Perhaps this is an example of projecting one's own issues.
    Currently:Alaffia Shea & Coconut Enriching Shampoo, Alaffia Virgin Coconut & Shea Enriching Hair Lotion, Qhemet Amla Olive Heavy Cream, Qhemet Honeybush Tea Gel.

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    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome". ~ Albert Einstein
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Registered Users Posts: 628 Curl Neophyte
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »
    medussa wrote: »

    Was there something in the OP's post that made you react this way? Why not take Onyx's word for it; that she did not misinterpret her experience and that it was hurtful to her? By trying to explain various other scenarios, you simply invalidate her experience.

    I was not the only person who said they didn't get it.

    Seems to me that asking questions like this isn't appreciated, so I apologize. Obviously I wouldn't understand because when I hear people talking to themselves like that, I don't take it personally and assume they are doing it to antagonize me. Regardless of what color their skin is.

    It seems to me that after explaining the experience - at least a few times - that if you still don't understand it's because you simply don't want to. And that's perfectly fine.

    Um, you explained it after I asked.

    I apologized for offending you. If you don't wish to accept the apology, that is your choice. But don't put this off on me for asking.

    And that is all I have to say about that before you get me banned.
    [FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]
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  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    babywavy wrote: »
    Please don't think I'm a total jerk, but, I don't get it.

    I don't think you're a jerk at all. If you don't get it - that's fine. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough - hopefully after explaining it a few times it makes more sense, but if not, that's ok - I still don't think you're a jerk;).
    Currently:Alaffia Shea & Coconut Enriching Shampoo, Alaffia Virgin Coconut & Shea Enriching Hair Lotion, Qhemet Amla Olive Heavy Cream, Qhemet Honeybush Tea Gel.

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    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome". ~ Albert Einstein
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Registered Users Posts: 5,297 Curl Neophyte
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »
    I have been popping on and on the site I when I can find a minute (babysitting). I have every intention of coming back later and responding to everyone here when I have more time. But,I one quick thing I just had to do was to give you all a bit information about my background.

    My background is very much like Obama's, my mother and father divorced when I was 5 yrs old, and my mother got remarried to a white man - my stepfather. A man that I have been calling "dad" since i was 5 yrs old. I Do NOT go out of my way to find racial innuendos. In fact, I try very hard to give people the benefit of the doubt and try not assume that they are being racist - and if I have concerns I simply talk about it with them if i can. My "dad" taught me that.

    Truth be told if these people had said the same thing in a lower tone of voice, I probably would have just thought it was a slight against Obama - people do that - it's been happening on both sides of the fence - so whatever. The problem I had with what happened was that it was just the three of us in that aisle - and for crying out loud - they were not 100 yards away from each other. They were purposely talking loudly to get my attention. Keep in mind, they were talking to each other in a normal tone of voice when I first came around the corner and walked down the aisle. It was not until I was standing there that they started to shout past me. Now you can take it for what you think it was, but I was there, and I know when someone is talking in such a way to get my attention - there is no other explanation for their overtly obnoxious behavior. But you can call it something else if you'd like. I fear that they did what they did because they looked at me - assumed I was an Obama supporter - and (I deduced from their tone of voice) wanted to insult me:dontknow:.

    I have to run - I'll be back.


    OKAY - so I guess what I was missing from the story was the overall tone - tones of voice, snickering, body language, volume.......you were THERE, you probably could figure out what they were getting at.

    That really sucks. This election does have people all worked up. I think it hits some people to their core, and others who are less emotionally involved, think they can make jokes and be obnoxious.

    I get worked up over little things like someone saying they're still undecided at this point, or the comment that 'they're both idiots, so I'm trying to pick the lesser of the two evils' etc, etc - I've practically started bar fights over it!

    Some people just have their heads up their ass. We are truly seeing the reference to 'sheep' in this election.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • geminigemini Registered Users Posts: 3,325
    Sometimes things happen like this and it's an intangible, can not be proven type of thing. For example my husband (6'0, chocolate skinned former college linebacker) had a series of phone interviews for a job. He did well enough to be flown out for a face to face (it was within his company, but in a totally different part of the country). He noticed that when he walked into the room, the facial expressions of the people interviewing him changed, and not in a good way. Even before he got home that day, they informed him that he didn't get the job. Now this is his perception, but his first guess was that they didn't connect his voice/demeanor to his appearance. Would he ever be able to prove this? Of course not, it's a gut feeling and something I'm willing to bet most minorities in this country experience and understand. If you can go through life never feeling as if you were treated with disrespect or unfairly solely due to the color of your skin, consider yourself lucky. Sometimes it really is just a rude person, but sometimes, yes, it is racism.

    I understood that feeling in the first post and much of the reasoning behind not wanting to vote Republican. Even if it's not an official campaign issue, I am seeing race to be a very big issue this year.
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Registered Users Posts: 1,767
    OnyxCabelo wrote: »

    I was not the only person who said they didn't get it.

    Seems to me that asking questions like this isn't appreciated, so I apologize. Obviously I wouldn't understand because when I hear people talking to themselves like that, I don't take it personally and assume they are doing it to antagonize me. Regardless of what color their skin is.

    It seems to me that after explaining the experience - at least a few times - that if you still don't understand it's because you simply don't want to. And that's perfectly fine.

    Um, you explained it after I asked.

    I apologized for offending you. If you don't wish to accept the apology, that is your choice. But don't put this off on me for asking.

    And that is all I have to say about that before you get me banned.

    Before I get you banned:goofy:?? If you get banned that has nothing to do with me - I have no control over what comes out of your heart.

    Regarding your apology - where did you apologize for offending me? I must have missed that.

    All I saw were your posts stating you didn't understand and comments on how you would have taken it differently or wouldn't have assumed, blah, blah, blah. Hmmmm, where was the apology? I'm being totally serious here - not being sarcastic.

    Honestly, oreosmakemehappy, you not understanding didn't offend me at all - you weren't there - you didn't see it or hear it. What bothered me though was you creating different scenarios to justify their behavior - as if you were questioning my motive for posting this thread in the first place. Why would i go out of my way to post something like this if it didn't really affect me.

    I certainly wouldn't compare my experience to s*xual harrassment, but it's like this:

    A secretary goes to her HR Dept to make a report that her boss is harrassing her. HR asks her what her boss did and she says, "Well he didn't really do anything to me, but it's the way he talks to me, there's just a tone in his voice that makes me feel uncomfortable, like he's coming on to me or something". The HR person's response, " Well maybe he was really just saying this or maybe he was really just doing that". Or perhaps the HR person says, " Well if he had said those things to me - I wouldn't have let it bother me or I wouldn't have assumed he was coming on to me". It completely invalidates her experience and makes it appear as if HR is defending behavior that is obviously questionable and uncomfortable in the secretary's mind. You seemed to be defending behaviors that you didn't even clearly understand - at least that's what you originally said. You said you didn't get it, then you went on to give examples of what the people may have been doing - in other words invalidating my feelings. And then you go on to add, "Of course, I'm white. So what do I know. :roll:". I mean why was this comment even necessary? There were other white people on here who seemed to understand. I wasn't looking for them to apologize for behaviors they had no control over, but they did. Perhaps that was compassion, perhaps in their own lives they've had something similar happen - I don't know - perhaps they were able to step outside of their own heads and try to see the world just for a split moment through someone else eyes. I said in my initial post - given my background i don't usually bring up race, but the scenario that happened happened - I didn't create it. It bothered me and I put it out here.

    Now if you want to comment on this post you're welcome to. If you think you'll get banned - well whatever.
    Currently:Alaffia Shea & Coconut Enriching Shampoo, Alaffia Virgin Coconut & Shea Enriching Hair Lotion, Qhemet Amla Olive Heavy Cream, Qhemet Honeybush Tea Gel.

    Last Texturizer: March 12, 2008
    BC: July 21, 2008
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    "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different outcome". ~ Albert Einstein

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