spinoff (again): would you believe your friend if she said your man was flirting?

subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
(that was such a great thread zaria)

many of us have had experiences where a friend's SO was flirting and the female friend didnt believe that he was.

so what if the shoe were on the other foot? would you believe your friend if she said YOUR man was flirting with HER?

Comments

  • misfitcurlsmisfitcurls Posts: 736Registered Users Curl Novice
    yes because my man is a terrible flirt! (actually we both are)
    BUT IT STOPS THERE!
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  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Posts: 4,476Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    No, my husband doesn't know how to flirt. He also can't recognize when someone is flirting with him unless it's incredibly obvious.
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  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Posts: 3,093Registered Users
    It would depend on the friend. There are some I would believe without hesitation, others, questionable.

    My SO can't flirt, but if he does when he's out with the boys, more power to him.
    2b/3a.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    Maybe not, if I was younger & not wanting to end it with my SO, but now definitely. I have some wonderful friends who I know wouldn't lie to me. I know that they would have my best interest at heart. Actually, if my SO flirted with them, they would be kicking him in the balls before they even told me. :laughing7:
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  • ZARIA**ZARIA** Posts: 706Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    (that was such a great thread zaria)

    many of us have had experiences where a friend's SO was flirting and the female friend didnt believe that he was.

    so what if the shoe were on the other foot? would you believe your friend if she said YOUR man was flirting with HER?
    :tongue5: Thank you..

    Yes, I would believe her because anyone I am willing to call 'my friend' would not lie to me..Would I break off the relationship with her, heck no! I need more friends like that.
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  • ZARIA**ZARIA** Posts: 706Registered Users
    The next spin off should be called.."Would you flirt with your friends man?" And then the next one could be.."Would you admitt to flirting with your friends man?":toothy7: Or.....
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    ZARIA** wrote: »
    The next spin off should be called.."Would you flirt with your friends man?" And then the next one could be.."Would you admitt to flirting with your friends man?":toothy7: Or.....
    :laughing7: it would be a spinoff website: naturallyflirty.com
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    No, I probably wouldn't believe her. Like Cynamin, my husband just doesn't flirt. We are friends with a few couples and the husband CLEARLY flirts, even when the wife is right there...so I would believe someone if I were her. But my husband just does NOT flirt.
    :rambo:
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Posts: 1,767Registered Users
    ZARIA** wrote: »
    subbrock wrote: »
    (that was such a great thread zaria)

    many of us have had experiences where a friend's SO was flirting and the female friend didnt believe that he was.

    so what if the shoe were on the other foot? would you believe your friend if she said YOUR man was flirting with HER?
    :tongue5: Thank you..

    Yes, I would believe her because anyone I am willing to call 'my friend' would not lie to me..Would I break off the relationship with her, heck no! I need more friends like that.

    I agree - if I can truly call her my friend, I would have to believe her. Why would she lie about a thing like that?
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    its funny because being in the situation and having a friend not believe me or not do anything about it, i thought she was an idiot.

    but if one of my friends were to tell me that my SO was flirting with them, id do the old, "he didnt really mean it like that" or some other excuse. very interesting...
  • OnyxCabeloOnyxCabelo Posts: 1,767Registered Users
    My DH really isn't a flirt either. He's actually pretty shy. Most of my friends know this about him (and they usually point this out to me - all the time, LOL), so if one of them came to me and said he was flirting, I'd probably believe that they really thought he was flirting. I'd make sure to find out exactly what he supposedly did, then I'd then go to him and ask him about it. He's also not a very good liar(lucky me:mrgreen:), so I'd know if he were telling me the truth. Either way I'd talk to him about it and if it was a big deal to my friend, see if we could come up with some sort of solution.
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'd probably believe my friend, but I would also ask the alleged "flirter" what happened. And then I'd decide whether to be mad at him or not.:wink:
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Flirting wouldn't really bother me if that's all it was (but my husband never does it.) I don't see why a friend would need to point it out since flirting to me is an innocent part of human interaction. If anything, it would make me question her intentions or at least her perceptions.
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  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    If she said it was just flirting, I would assume it was just him being friendly and her making a big deal about it. If she said he actually made a pass at her, I would ask her to explain exactly what he said/did, then ask him about it. I wouldn't not believe her, but I'd assume it was a misunderstanding because I completely trust my husband.
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  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    (that was such a great thread zaria)

    many of us have had experiences where a friend's SO was flirting and the female friend didnt believe that he was.

    so what if the shoe were on the other foot? would you believe your friend if she said YOUR man was flirting with HER?

    my friends have never demonstrated anything but respect for my marriage, my husband, and me. they aren't envious or undermining and aren't the kind of women who entertain themselves by inciting drama in others' relationships. if they are, they hide it well. i don't like to associate with people like that. so if my friend confronted me with such a serious charge, i'd probably believe that something happened and would immediately approach my husband about it.

    the reason is because my husband, by nature, is not outgoing or social even among people he's known for a long time. he's nice and friendly but complimenting another woman's hair or outfit would be completely uncharacteristic for him, let alone approaching one of my friends and saying something suggestive. and if he did flirt with another woman, it would have to be intentional and not just because "he's a social, playful kind of person."

    i hope that makes sense.

    i'll leave it at that. the very thought of it ooks me out.
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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    I would want to figure out her definition. Because I absolutely would believe she was telling me what she believed to be true, just wouldn't know what she thought that meant vs. what I thought it meant. If she said he was being inappropriate, I'd believe it, because at this point my friends are awesome and wouldn't lie about something like that.

    I've dated flirtatious guys. But they were just friendly, joking kind of guys. If that's all a guy does, I wouldn't really care. I have taken male friends with whom I spend time alone, but we don't behave any differently without their significant others than with them. Ultimately, to me the question is - do you behave differently than when the significant other is there? If so, that raises alarm bells. But guys I've dated would joke/tease other women in front of me. And trust me, it wasn't the same as how they would interact with me...
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  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It would depend on a lot of factors. I would take into consideration how much I trusted this friend, and whether she had a history of stretching the truth. Honestly most of my friends are not the type to lie or bring things up like this just to ruin things for me, so I'd more than likely believe them. I'm not one of those women who blames cheating on the other woman or whatever, I know just how guilty guys can be.
  • TwoMoonsTwoMoons Posts: 754Registered Users
    I have really good friends so yes I would believe them. I only have one exception with one of my friends who is known to flirt (among other things) with her other friend's boyfriends when she sees they're in a good relationship. I don't have a problem with her because I've never had a boyfriend but when I do start dating I know we wont be really good friends anymore,
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  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ITA with a lot of the posters.

    First of all, DH is a terrible flirt. Back when we were flirting heavily, he didn't so much as flirt himself as to respond to my flirting.

    It would depend upon the the person, their definition of flirting, and what type it was. I would want to know the whole story from both sides. And then I would judge for myself what to believe.

    I wouldn't automatically take a word of a friend over a SO. To me trust is the most important thing. If I wasn't trusting enough to give a SO the benefit of the doubt, I wouldn't be in the relationship period. Also, I've always had a friends then lovers philosophy in my relationships. I could never get serious with someone I couldn't call my best friend. So it would be no different then choosing between two friends.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    Sounds like all of the good guys are oblivious to flirting... :thumbup:
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  • midgimidgi Posts: 2,409Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think of it this way: my boyfriend has a lot of girls that are his friends and I see girls flirting with him all the time. If he flirts back, to me that's not an issue.

    Flirting doesn't mean anything to me unless it goes beyond that. BUT if my friend does come up to me and tells me because she felt uncomfortable with it or something, then YEA I would believe her and I would make sure my BF knew it so that it wouldn't happen again.

    However it depends on the situation. Say your friend isn't just innocently uncomfortable, say she's jealous of my relationship. If that's the case and that's the vibe I'm getting from her, then I'd still take it up with my man just so he knows what's going on, but of course my reaction would be a whole lot different.
    I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    If she said it was just flirting, I would assume it was just him being friendly and her making a big deal about it. If she said he actually made a pass at her, I would ask her to explain exactly what he said/did, then ask him about it. I wouldn't not believe her, but I'd assume it was a misunderstanding because I completely trust my husband.

    Ditto to this- I would definitely need to hear the details. My husband is a total flirt, I would need to know what my friend thought was so inappropriate about this instance.
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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    My husband is horrid at flirting. He recognizes when other people do it around/at him, but he just isn't very good at it himself. Or at least it comes off so goofy that I can't imagine anyone ever taking him seriously. So if someone (friend, acquaintance, whatever) came to me concerned that my husband was flirting with her? I'd have a hard time taking her seriously. I wouldn't take it out on her, but I'd probably find it pretty entertaining.
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  • .patience..patience. Posts: 537Registered Users
    Sounds like all of the good guys are oblivious to flirting... :thumbup:

    :laughing6:
    midgi wrote: »
    I think of it this way: my boyfriend has a lot of girls that are his friends and I see girls flirting with him all the time. If he flirts back, to me that's not an issue.

    Flirting doesn't mean anything to me unless it goes beyond that. BUT if my friend does come up to me and tells me because she felt uncomfortable with it or something, then YEA I would believe her and I would make sure my BF knew it so that it wouldn't happen again.

    However it depends on the situation. Say your friend isn't just innocently uncomfortable, say she's jealous of my relationship. If that's the case and that's the vibe I'm getting from her, then I'd still take it up with my man just so he knows what's going on, but of course my reaction would be a whole lot different.

    my boyfriend has lots of female friends as well and is no stranger to flirting so, ITA with everything.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    PixieCurl wrote: »
    If she said it was just flirting, I would assume it was just him being friendly and her making a big deal about it. If she said he actually made a pass at her, I would ask her to explain exactly what he said/did, then ask him about it. I wouldn't not believe her, but I'd assume it was a misunderstanding because I completely trust my husband.


    Yes, this for me too. My husband isn't very flirty, by my definition of flirty, but he is friendly and outgoing. I trust him completely to be faithful and not try to hook up with other women.
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  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    flirting 2

    Definition: playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest
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    AKA new2curls

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