Do you hate your mother-in-law?

TK*TK* Posts: 885Registered Users
Got any horrible mother-in-law stories you wish to share to help me vent? Share them here!

I'm not married yet, but last weekend I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and...omifriggingawd! I HATE HER GUTS!!! She treated me like crap the whole time I was there...I can already tell that she's going to be a huge problem for the rest of my life! I never thought I'd have to deal with sort of thing until now! UGGHHHH!!!! :thumbdown:
I'm "TechKnockout" now.
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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    I'm so not helpful... I love my in-laws. Well I love my husband's immediate family, there are some crazy a55holes in the extended family, though. But my husband's parents and brother are all fantastic. I can't imagine being married to someone who's family I didn't at the very least like. That's a really really tough situation to put yourself in. Hope it works out for you!!
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  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't hate my husband's mother but I don't like her enough to call her my mother-in-law, if that makes any sense. My husband is not even that crazy about her so it really isn't an issue in our household. Thankfully, we don't live anywhere near her so I see her on average of about once a year for a few hours. If I had to live near her or deal with her on a regular basis, I would probably hate her. But like I said, my husband doesn't even see her or talk to her that much so it is a non-issue.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    My husband's mother was very engrossed in her own hypochrondriac health issues in her later years, to the extent that she tried to use her "allergies" as a weapon of control in any and every family social situation. She'd rail against perfume or cosmetics if anyone dared to wear any...she'd accuse them of trying to kill her with "headaches". She was "allergic" to most foods and woe to us if there was corn or wheat or dairy or soy or vinegar or potatoes or (the list goes on forever) in any of our holiday meals. We mostly all just rolled our eyes and ignored her. I think her allergies were all in her head, an excuse for her to abuse prescription drugs to sleep off her daily "headaches". She died about 6 years ago. It was sad, but not that sad.

    Apparently, she was a fun person when she was young, and a loving good mother. But after one of her daughters died (hit by a truck at age 5 while walking home from Kindergarten), she was never the same. It was a shame...because she alienated and hurt all her remaining four children in her grief over one child.
  • LikeAustraliaLikeAustralia Posts: 2,812Registered Users
    I'm not married yet, but my boyfriend's mother has become a bit overbearing and irritating lately. We just bought a house in March and because we weren't expecting to find something we wanted and was affordable so soon, I chose to not move in until the end of the year as I have some work obligations where I am now. Anyway, so he's living there alone until I move in. The house is close to where his parents live. When we first bought it, we gave her a key for emergencies or whatever as he travels frequently for work. She also volunteered to help clean it up/paint for us and did so while neither of us were there. This was all fine and good until she started just showing up...and leaving things in our 'fridge/closets/etc...and then starting to pick fights with my boyfriend (her son) over me. It's like she's trying to test who he'll pick....her or me. It's very frustrating for me because I feel like it's my fault and doubly stressful for him as family is very important to him, despite her ludicrous, childlike behavior.
    Not Cindy or Sindy or Syndey or any other such abomination.
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  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I don't hate my MILs, plural. Yes, I have two, I'm so lucky like that. But I dislike them to varying degrees, depending upon how they are acting. They can be cool, but I never drop my guard because they can turn psycho at the drop of a hat.

    Step-MIL is an extreme neat freak and shopaholic of epic proportions. I've been accused of negligence because my baby's face got while eating and I didn't stop and I chose to wait until he was finished before cleaning it. And to compensate not only her spending but his own, FIL steals work from DH. Apparently getting an unscratched washer and classic muscle car #5 is far more important then replacing outgrown clothes for the boys. And plus, it really pisses me off when a person who has everything under the sun complains about being broke. Freaking make better choices! You can survive without 3 (yes 3) $200 unlimited cell phone plan.

    Other MIL: She is unbelievable. Drama queen, co-dependant, and a hypochondriac of epic proportions. A person calling her that she doesn't want to talk to is worthy of a 3 am call asking what she should do. She got really drunk once while taking prescribed narcotics, and started vomiting (duh!), went to the ER claiming someone poisoned her, and told us to come over ASAP because she was dying. Most recently, she left her long-term SO, but didn't actually say anything. For the 3 weeks following, they refused to talk to each other, instead attempted to use us as a message service, despite saying we didn't want in the middle several times. They were calling so much, we had to stop answering the phone. So they called even more, peaking at once an hour one day.

    Ok, I'm done ranting.
  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    I don't hate her. We have little in common and some of the things she does and says really irk me, but I don't hate her.
  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I have quite a few. But for me, it's hard to hate someone who is the way she is because of decades of physical & emotional abuse, surviving WWII in Germany, poverty, neglect and mental illness.

    I just try to not excuse bad behavior, but I do understand where it comes from.
    hello.world.
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    i don't hate her. i love her and my fil to pieces. now, there are extended-family in-laws who leave much to be desired, but my parents-in-law are gems! :)
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • hopetocurlhopetocurl Posts: 1,280Registered Users
    Not that you asked, but if you really don't like your boyfriend's mother I'd ask myself the following questions.

    1) How much influence does she have in his life?
    2) Can I learn to tolerate her?

    If she has a lot of influence in his life (her opinion matters, he's her little boy, etc) or if you can't learn to tolerate her...then I'd stop the relationship.

    To answer your question, I really can't stand my MIL. I have NEVER liked her. The time that she came to my house, and pee'd and poop'd all over my house didn't make me feel any different about her. NO< she wasn't sick. But, it's a loooooong story.
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I hate the biological MIL! In fact, I had a thread recently when she came to visit and practically yelled at me for not cooking for her, not entertaining her enough, and being mean to her dog. Uh, ok... And she wants to move here to be closer to us. WHY??? You only make us miserable I told my husband if she moves here, I want to move somewhere else. He excuses her wanting to move because her house has been broken into a bunch of times. OK, I'm sure there's low-crime areas somewhere in HER STATE. No need to move halfway across the country.

    I love my other MIL (FIL's second wife) though. She is wonderful. They are both helpful and unintrusive, which allows us all to get along splendidly even though we have differing opinions on many things. I don't know what FIL was thinking the first time, but he did much better choosing a wife the second time around.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    hopetocurl wrote: »
    The time that she came to my house, and pee'd and poop'd all over my house didn't make me feel any different about her. NO< she wasn't sick. But, it's a loooooong story.

    OMG! You have to share!!!!


    I've had 2 MIL's, and love them both to pieces. I still love my X-MIL and we hug and visit whenever we run into each other.
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
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  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Bailey422 wrote: »
    I hate the biological MIL! In fact, I had a thread recently when she came to visit and practically yelled at me for not cooking for her, not entertaining her enough, and being mean to her dog. Uh, ok... And she wants to move here to be closer to us. WHY??? You only make us miserable I told my husband if she moves here, I want to move somewhere else. He excuses her wanting to move because her house has been broken into a bunch of times. OK, I'm sure there's low-crime areas somewhere in HER STATE. No need to move halfway across the country.

    I love my other MIL (FIL's second wife) though. She is wonderful. They are both helpful and unintrusive, which allows us all to get along splendidly even though we have differing opinions on many things. I don't know what FIL was thinking the first time, but he did much better choosing a wife the second time around.

    Was that the one that said the dog was "just talking" to the baby when he was growling at them? What would she say if it bit the baby, it was only giving it a kiss?
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    2happy wrote: »
    hopetocurl wrote: »
    The time that she came to my house, and pee'd and poop'd all over my house didn't make me feel any different about her. NO< she wasn't sick. But, it's a loooooong story.

    OMG! You have to share!!!!


    I've had 2 MIL's, and love them both to pieces. I still love my X-MIL and we hug and visit whenever we run into each other.

    I'm seconding that, you have to share!
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Bailey422 wrote: »
    I hate the biological MIL! In fact, I had a thread recently when she came to visit and practically yelled at me for not cooking for her, not entertaining her enough, and being mean to her dog. Uh, ok... And she wants to move here to be closer to us. WHY??? You only make us miserable I told my husband if she moves here, I want to move somewhere else. He excuses her wanting to move because her house has been broken into a bunch of times. OK, I'm sure there's low-crime areas somewhere in HER STATE. No need to move halfway across the country.

    I love my other MIL (FIL's second wife) though. She is wonderful. They are both helpful and unintrusive, which allows us all to get along splendidly even though we have differing opinions on many things. I don't know what FIL was thinking the first time, but he did much better choosing a wife the second time around.

    Was that the one that said the dog was "just talking" to the baby when he was growling at them? What would she say if it bit the baby, it was only giving it a kiss?

    Yup, that one. And I wasn't giving it a chance to get used to the baby when it wanted to sniff him. Um, yeah, lemme risk my kid getting his face mauled off, just so your dog can get used to babies. :roll:
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    2happy wrote: »
    hopetocurl wrote: »
    The time that she came to my house, and pee'd and poop'd all over my house didn't make me feel any different about her. NO< she wasn't sick. But, it's a loooooong story.

    OMG! You have to share!!!!


    I've had 2 MIL's, and love them both to pieces. I still love my X-MIL and we hug and visit whenever we run into each other.

    I'm seconding that, you have to share!

    i'm thirding it. you can't bring up an adult-peeing-and-pooping-in-the-house story and not share it.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • pooks1213pooks1213 Posts: 211Registered Users
    After reading a few of these, I don't feel so bad for seriously disliking my MIL!!! Her and DH don't have a great relationship, at all, to begin with, but she believes they do. He avoids her at all costs. She is VERY nosy, always asking about our money situation (not in a way to make sure we're ok, but to hound us on "You really did not need to buy that couch" or "You went to the movies? Well, you can't afford that!" She makes fun of me from being from the South ( I live in WI now) and tells me I had a deprived childhood....how would she know, she didn't know me as a kid!

    She talks about me being plus sized,Which I kinda am, but she's bigger than me....

    My husband knows how much I don't like her, so we ignore her at all costs. His step mother is WONDERFUL though, so it makes up for it in the end.
  • PixieCurlPixieCurl Posts: 5,656Registered Users
    My MIL is pretty good, as far as MIL's go. We're not super-close and she certainly gets on my nerves sometimes, but for the most part we get along fine.
    Faith, 3Aish redhead
    Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy :love5:
  • cinnaboncinnabon Posts: 80Registered Users
    rainshower wrote: »
    2happy wrote: »

    OMG! You have to share!!!!


    I've had 2 MIL's, and love them both to pieces. I still love my X-MIL and we hug and visit whenever we run into each other.

    I'm seconding that, you have to share!

    i'm thirding it. you can't bring up an adult-peeing-and-pooping-in-the-house story and not share it.

    I'm fourthing it, please share.

    I don't have a MIL, but my brother's wife and our mother don't get along at all. Fault lies on both sides, though. Mom and her DIL both have issues.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    My MIL is a very kind and caring person, and she's been a great help to us with the kids, especially helping with our older son when the new baby was born. However, she can get on my nerves because she has a tendency to try to be so nice that it becomes annoying. Like, asking you over and over if you want something to drink, until you finally have to say yes to make her stop. And she gushes enthusiastically about every little thing so much that it seems fake. My husband always says, her flaws are good qualities that she takes to the extreme.
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Fifth here.
  • twirlacurltwirlacurl Posts: 100Registered Users
    DH and I have been married 22 years and we lived near my MIL for the first 11 years. She drove me NUTS!

    Since we have been over 700 miles from her for the last 11 years I have enjoyed her more and more. MIL loves to insert herself in every family situation she can find, but living far away has helped tremendously.

    She visits us once a year now and I truly enjoy her company. Without all of our family situations constantly at her attention she is MUCH easier to deal with.

    This woman has owned 2 daycare centers and has tons of input, but sometimes her input has been very intrusive.

    She has learned from me that I truly appreciate her opinions and advice, but will not tolerate any unsolicited parenting advice from her.

    Like I said, it has been much nicer since we have moved far away!
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    When I was married my MIL treated me terribly. She was only concerned that I was taking care of her son. She visited right after I had my hysterectomy even tho' I told her it wasn't a good idea, because I was healing & couldn't do much. She expected me to wait on her hand & foot. My husband was at work all the time, so I wasn't getting any help from him, plus he was also expecting me to wait on him when he was home.

    It took many years for us to get close, but when we did, she ended up being my friend for life. I really love her now. I've been divorced for almost 18 years & we still keep in contact.

    The Mother & son relationship is weird to me. My own Mom was a ***** to her DIL & expected to be in their business & to this day still judges her. They've been married over 20 years.
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  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Posts: 4,476Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I don't hate my MIL, she's a decent person. I have a lot of respect for her. The only thing we have in common is her son.
    There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
  • IlovemycurlsIlovemycurls Posts: 49Registered Users
    I didn't get on with my ex-MIL. Well, I tried, and she would always be nice-ish to me to my face, but then I'd find out she'd said horrible things about me behind my back. I just couldn't connect with her, kinda felt like I was never good enough for her "little boy".

    Thankfully she lived abroad so it wasn't such an issue, but she did have a lot of influence on my ex and it kinda worried me at times.

    To sum up, I had a lot of issues with my ex (verbal abuse etc, lead to domestic violence in the end) and his mum actually admitted that he'd had an anger problem since he was a child (gee, thanks for letting me deal with that :disgust:) but after he attacked me and I ran home to my parents, she spoke to my mum on the phone to find out what happened and actually told my mum that I was obviously to blame and caused it to happen....

    In my experience, the kind of relationship you have with your MIL can be a sign of how your good your relationship is with your SO, I guess it just depends how much influence the MIL has on your SO (as Hope said).

    My future-MIL (bf's mum) on the other hand is fab - I am soo tempted to call her mum, we just get on so well it's like chalk and cheese with my ex-MIL lol.
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    My BF's mother was a lovely person and I really miss her. She reminded me a lot of my own mother.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    My MIL and I don't have a whole lot in common and she can be a little annoying at times, but she is overall a lovely person and we get along fine.

    To the OP, if you are serious about a future with this boyfriend, then you have some thinking to do. What did he do while she was treating you like crap? Did he stand up for you? Will he stick with you, even if it means going against her, when you need him to? You need to sort that out, and you need to find a way to deal with her, even if your way of dealing is dealing with her as little as possible. And that solution needs to be acceptable to both you and your BF. Because she will always be his mother and will always be a part of his life, and yours if you are with him.
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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    I really got lucky in that dept....
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  • kcckcc Posts: 681Registered Users
    I don't hate her, but she is so opinionated about every single thing. She likes to tell me about ways to clean hardwood floors when I've never brought up cleaning and never talked about our floors. She is very critical of my husband. After spending time with her, I felt bad that my husband had to deal with her when he was growing up. She talks over people, shoots down your ideas and talks down about her kids to other people. She is big on comparing her kids' lives with her friends' kids' lives. Drives me crazy.

    Also I feel like I'm being interviewed whenever we see her. She asks me a question, and as I answer she interrupts me to tell me what she thinks. Then moves on to another question and does the same thing. Over and over. I'm exhausted by the time I leave. I ignore her ideas most of the time.

    I worked with her for a week and learned my lesson. I realize why my husband doesn't open his mouth when we are with his parents. He answers everything with yes or no and doesn't call her very much. Now I know why. Makes me appreciate my own mom much more.
    And you know, I'm really not totally sold on the sandwich idea. They're kind of traditional, I know I said that, don't question me about that, but they aren't really all that chic, you know? --fig jam
  • KeeweeKeewee Posts: 1,376Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    WHY YES I DO!!!!!!!! LOL LOL BUT SHE"S NOT MY MIL ANYMORE OH THE PLEASURE of DIVORCE........:blob2:
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  • TK*TK* Posts: 885Registered Users
    geeky wrote: »
    To the OP, if you are serious about a future with this boyfriend, then you have some thinking to do. What did he do while she was treating you like crap? Did he stand up for you? Will he stick with you, even if it means going against her, when you need him to? You need to sort that out, and you need to find a way to deal with her, even if your way of dealing is dealing with her as little as possible. And that solution needs to be acceptable to both you and your BF. Because she will always be his mother and will always be a part of his life, and yours if you are with him.

    I have done some serious thinking about my boyfriend after meeting his mother, actually. He didn't stick up for me, but at the same time he didn't side with his mother either. He just sort of let it happen without doing one or the other. I'm the first girl he's ever brought home before so he was like a deer in the headlights the entire weekend I was there. He did call his mother after we had left to ***** her out and THIS is why his mother was treating me like crap:

    1. She told him that black people from Memphis, TN had a "bad culture."
    2. I'm too young to be living with my boyfriend.
    3. Because I'm a vegetarian and he's not, she thinks we're "too different to be compatible."
    4. She's pissed because she's not the #1 female in his life anymore and I don't fit her "perfect plan" she had envisioned for her son.

    UGGGHHH!!!!!
    I'm "TechKnockout" now.

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