Ok Tell me if I am wrong for feeling like this...

KeeweeKeewee Posts: 1,376Registered Users Curl Neophyte
As you seen my last post about the SO, I have been having a really hard time, I recently went off my A/Ds and So he knew this as well, I thought I was doing ok but apparently not, I got very depressed and what not, so I became kind of mean and say mean things. I have given him the cold shoulder I guess also because alot of stuff that I wrote in the other thread were bothering me. Anyhoo the last two weeks have been bad crying spells just a bitt of a mess. Am i wrong for feeling he should have come to see me, I mean he is only one hour away.

Today was an exceptionally very bad day I cried wrote him that I didn't want to see him any more and crap. now you think he he gave a crap he would get in his car and come and see what the hell is wrong with her, but apparently BOWLING is the more important thing to do...Please tell meif i am feeling wrong for this, the only thing that seems to count in his life is his part time job at the Home Depot (godforbid he takes off and his 3 times a week bowling and of course his daughter... Am I wrong Where the F**k do I fit in..

Oh yea and I had to go to the dr. today to get new meds and the dr even called my sister to make sure that I stayed ok...
3A some 3b Total Product Junkie
P/Wmarissa
http://public.fotki.com/Keewee

Comments

  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    Sounds to me (based on this post and your other) that you're better off without this guy. Of course I have a skewed view, only knowing what you've posted in the last couple of days, but from these posts it doesn't seem like you're a) particularly happy with this guy or b) getting much out of it.

    I know that sucks and is hard to deal with, but I suspect you'll end up in a better place without him.
    "And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
    Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
    Stolen.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,754Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    No, you're not wrong.
    montage-3.gif No MAS.

    I am the new Black.

    "Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I'm sorry you're having a rough time of it right now.

    If you want him to come see you, ask him to come see you. Sure, you'd think he'd just know but apparently he doesn't. If you want someone who just knows what you need, this is not your guy. If you ask he doesn't see any reason to come see you, this is not your guy.

    Honestly, it sounds like he's just not willing to rearrange his life for you, and you don't like him very much anyway.

    If you have something important to say, tell him. Don't write a letter, text, or send an email. Don't leave a message. You're not a kid. If you find yourself dating someone and you feel you can only tell them big things without actually SPEAKING, either it's the wrong person or the wrong time for you to be in a relationship.
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    It sounds like there's a lot of complicated feelings within you right now.

    Give yourself some time to get used to the new medication; until then, please give yourself a break. It sounds like you made the right decision, but it's easy to have doubts, especially when you're going through medication changes. Can you get some extra sleep? That might help.

    The best advice I got when going through a (big, horrible) breakup was to let your most painful emotions just wash over you.....they will pass if you let them.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts. Please let us know how you're doing, okay? You can PM me, too.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    What is it going to take to realize this is not the man for you? Look, he is a new bf, right? I had been in a 3 year relationship with a man, who totally blew me off when my Father died. I really needed him, but he had better things to do. PLEASE! PLEASE stop tormenting yourself & learn to live alone & take an interest in YOUR life and YOUR child's. Why isn't this guy history for you? Are you so afraid to be without a man, that you will subject yourself & your child to this?
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hey, g-string, please give her a break. We're not in her shoes, and she's really struggling. Plus there's a medication issue.

    Can't we just try to help her through it without judgment?
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    ninja dog wrote: »
    Hey, g-string, please give her a break. We're not in her shoes, and she's really struggling. Plus there's a medication issue.

    Can't we just try to help her through it without judgment?

    I'm not judging her....

    I've been in her shoes & I have seen how it has affected my children & my well being. That is why I am so strong with her. I do really care & that is why I am doing the tuff love with her. If there is a medication issue, then she needs to take care of this with her Dr. I think this is a different issue.
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    ninja dog wrote: »
    Hey, g-string, please give her a break. We're not in her shoes, and she's really struggling. Plus there's a medication issue.

    Can't we just try to help her through it without judgment?

    I don't think anyone is judging.


    I think we can all see our own past mistakes in keewee, and see that she is very clearly NOT getting what she wants out of this relationship.

    I've never been as lonely as I was when I was with a fantastic man... who was completely wrong for me. No one should feel this miserable over a relationship.
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    My concern is not only with Keewee, but her daughter. That is probably why I sound like I am coming on too strong to her. Keewee is making choices that are affecting her daughter & she has no say so about it. She has been thru enough with the divorce. She shouldn't have to suffer.
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls
  • KrazyblondegurlKrazyblondegurl Posts: 1,008Registered Users
    I think you need a really good friend (man or woman) in your life who will be there for you through all this.

    Doesn't sound like he's the one. And like somebody else said, it's very apparent you really don't even like this guy. You just need somebody.

    Work on feeling better. Find some good girlfriends. A good guy will show up eventually.
  • IlovemycurlsIlovemycurls Posts: 49Registered Users
    I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time :sad7:

    It does sound like he is not offering the kind of support you need right now, but I would be wary of making any hasty decisions long-term purely as it sounds as though you are still battling your depression.

    I completely sympathise with you, as I have also battled depression and anxiety many times over the years.

    Although the general consensus does seem to be that this man is no good for you, I get the impression that he probably isn't aware of the pain you are going through and I still think you need to tell him. From experience, when you are depressed everything can seem much much worse to you than it does to other people and it is easy to assume that people know what you are going through, but quite often they don't. He perhaps thought that because you were coming off your medication, that the problem was solved, so he might not know that's not the case.

    Of course, being in an unhealthy relationship will make you feel even worse so if you think that for 1 second he is contributing to your depresson then you need to break it off with him, for both you and your daughter's sake.

    The best thing you can do right now is take time out for yourself to get better - this will not be easy, especially as you have a daughter to look after, but these things take time.

    I have tried to come off antidepressants many times before, because I never liked the idea of being on medication long-term and always liked to think I was in control of my emotions, however this time I stayed on them under medical advice and am slowly coming off them under supervision - the difference is huge and I now see that trying to come off them too soon actually made me worse. I hope that your new meds help you to heal and remember that we are all here for you :)

    xx
    _________________________

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  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    No you are not wrong. A loving, caring, supportive boyfriend will be there with you through the good, and the bad.

    And I guess I missed something, because is this the same man who you found out was visiting his EX in another state?? If so, I was under the impression you had broken things off with him?
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Posts: 6,252Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    To say your feelings or what you are feeling is wrong is to invalidate them, and you never want to do that. You have to look at why you feel the way you do. Is it because you stopped your antidepressants? Or were these frustrations with your SO there before you got off the pills? I've learned people rarely change and so you have to figure out if you want to be with your SO with his bowling and other obligations or you don't want to bother with it. I hope it all works out and I really feel for you in your situation.
  • maria_imaria_i Posts: 1,765Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Keewee, is this the same man who supposedly was going to propose in Toronto?
    If so, please stop seeing him.

    Anyway, listen to what the good people are telling you here.This is a time when you are suppose to be happy, yet you are far from it.

    I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. <<HUGS>>
    3a/b.
    Mexico City.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Fair enough, g-string. I understand your point.

    Keewee, we all want you to take care of yourself and feel better.:sunny:
  • journotravelerjournotraveler Posts: 2,816Registered Users
    i hope you're feeling better today. and i hope that you'll be able to get some perspective on things soon & find some peace. :angel10:
    3B corkscrews with scatterings of 3A & 3C.
  • KeeweeKeewee Posts: 1,376Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hey Guys, thank you all for your support, I love you all.. today I had a little bit better day and yes I am still angry about all the stuff with him, I am starting to realize that maybe this is wrong for me, I just want to be happy... This relationship seems to be causing me alot of unneeded stress which is not good.. I mean he is really a great guy but it really just seems to be all about him ans his.... For once in my life IT HAS TO BE ABOUT ME.......
    3A some 3b Total Product Junkie
    P/Wmarissa
    http://public.fotki.com/Keewee
  • LAwomanLAwoman Posts: 2,949Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    For once in my life IT HAS TO BE ABOUT ME.......

    YES!

    And once you put your thoughts and actions start backing that thought up, you have no idea how happy and fulfilling your life will become.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    Keewee wrote: »
    Hey Guys, thank you all for your support, I love you all.. today I had a little bit better day and yes I am still angry about all the stuff with him, I am starting to realize that maybe this is wrong for me, I just want to be happy... This relationship seems to be causing me alot of unneeded stress which is not good.. I mean he is really a great guy but it really just seems to be all about him ans his.... For once in my life IT HAS TO BE ABOUT ME.......


    You still seem to be unsure. Say this last sentence & really mean it. Yes, I know I am riding your ass pretty hard, but please believe I'm doing it because I care.
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls

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