CurlTalk

My beloved Samson is gone, died on 8/25/08

CurliLocksCurliLocks Posts: 10,572Registered Users Curl Dabbler
My Samson is gone. :cry:



I'm back. I'll probably still be on and off. It's hard because he used to lay by my feet while I used the laptop (which I took to using when he didn't go downstairs much, to be with him). My desktop computer is not up and running yet after dh's last upgrades. It's very quiet and lonely here now, with hubby at work and son back to school today. I had to get out of the house for a while today.

Life seems so much darker for me now. When I enter a room, I have to turn on the lights, even if it's daylight and sunny. Like the light has gone from my life. I'm kind of numb now, in limbo.

I'm going to ramble here, but I need to get this all out. It’s very emotional so feel free to skip to the end if needed.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Samson died at about 9:30 AM on Monday, August 25. We had planned to take him in at 2 PM, but I think he was dying and suffering during the night. He had a rough day Sunday, but we all spent time outside with him (most of the afternoon). He wanted to be outside, he kept regurgitating water, he was getting weak. He hadn't had much food for a few days already, didn't want to eat, but was so thirsty. The worst part was that he couldn't keep the water down anymore. I made him chicken broth and gelatin cubes, which he gobbled up, but they came back up as liquid later. He was dying of starvation and especially thirst.

Sunday night, he wanted to stay in the living room all night, so I set up to sleep on the couch by him. He didn't sleep, I held him and cuddled with him at times. Samson was so thirsty, he chewed on ice cubes and I sometimes held a cube in my palm and he would lick it. I tried to get a little sleep in between because I knew I'd have to take him in. I was so exhausted after not much sleep for the last week or so, getting up with him when he'd regurgitate (frequently, stupid megaesophagus). He could have overcome that again, if he could have stood upright after eating and drinking, but his hind legs were getting too weak. He was just too old to beat it this time. :sad8:

I don't know if he had aspirated pneumonia at this point, as his breathing was labored. I prayed that he would just fall asleep and pass away in my arms in his sleep. I'm angry that those prayers weren't answered. I didn’t want him to have to suffer at all, he deserved so much better. But it seemed that he was suffering and I couldn’t help him. His vet was closed, the local emergency one didn’t have a vet on hand to euthanize (tech said she couldn’t), I didn’t want to take him to the next farthest one where he didn’t know anyone. He loved going to the vets and visiting everyone there, they all loved him!

When my husband got up for work, he came out and found us. I told him it was time, and he lay down with Samson and held him for a while. First thing when they opened, I called the vets to bring him in. They did not have an opening, but his doctor loved him and said she’d fit him in if we came in. So we got dressed and went in. My dad and hubby had to get him onto a blanket to carry him down the stairs and into the car. They brought out a gurney to bring him into the vets when we got there. He was just too weak to even stand. He was so dehydrated that his poor nose was shriveled and dry.

We were all there on the floor with him: me, hubby, son, my dad. The doctor came in to see us and check him, told us to take our time staying with him and saying our good-byes. She left to come back later. The tech came in to make the arrangements for cremation, etc. My son and I cried our eyes out, we held Samson and told him we loved him. The vet came back, started the shot and he started to relax, gave a big sigh. My son looked into his eyes and held his paw, I held him from behind and buried my face in his neck. His head drooped to his paws as he left us. We stayed with him for a long time afterward.

He was cremated on Wednesday, and we should get his ashes in the wooden box this week, along with his paw print in ceramic (for our son).



Samson had a long wonderful life, lived abroad and traveled to many places with us. He was loved by everyone he met. Even the staff at the vets all said he really was their best patient, so friendly and happy all the time, even after shots, etc. :) He was 13 years old, and loved by all.



(I'll see you again someday, my baby.)




~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have updated his fotki album with more photos. There are some puppy pictures on the second page. /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fpublic.fotki.com%2Fcurlilocks%2Fmy_dog%2F" class="Popup
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] -- gone, but never forgotten.
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Comments

  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I'm so sorry for your loss, Curlilocks.
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  • bushyheadbushyhead Posts: 1,676Registered Users
    I'm very sorry for your loss. :-(

    {{{Hugs}}}
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  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    This was heartbreaking for me to read and I didn't even know him.

    I hope with time you will feel the light come back, and maybe eventually adopt another pet. Not a replacement, of course, but a new friend.

    I am sorry for your loss.
  • battinlashbattinlash Posts: 1,850Registered Users
    This made me cry. I'm very sorry for your loss.
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Posts: 3,778Registered Users
    I'm so sorry, Curlilocks. I looked at his photos, and he looked like I imagined he would. I love the picture of him in his boots. What a sweetie pie.

    It must be very hard to miss him. Please take comfort in the fact that Samson isn't suffering anymore and is now at peace. He obviously had a wonderful life and was loved much.

    Peace and blessings to you. ((HUGS))
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    Oh my God......your tribute to Samson brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry he's gone.

    For me, the hardest part of loving an animal is losing him so quickly, no matter what age they go.

    I will keep both you and Samson in my thoughts.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    I'm so sorry.:sad8:
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  • briccagrlbriccagrl Posts: 540Registered Users
    This made me cry as well because I know how much it hurts to lose a pet. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • gekko422gekko422 Posts: 4,869Registered Users
    I am so very sorry for your loss.
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users
    I'm crying too. I'm so sorry!
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  • RawrSallyRawrSally Posts: 1,388Registered Users
    I'm so sorry. Your post made me cry, it's so heartbreaking. I had a very similar situation with my dog a few years back though he had Lymphoma.
    But really, I am so sorry.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Words cannot express how sorry I am for you, that must have been heartbreaking to write, and live through.

    That made me cry as well. I do hope that you will be able to, in time, find peace.:sad8:
  • badgercurlsbadgercurls Posts: 3,077Registered Users
    I am so sorry for your loss, Curlilocks. I know Samson knew even at the end that he was loved dearly. I am glad that you were able to be with him in his last moments. Someday that will be probably be comforting to you, but I can understand how raw the emotions are right now.
  • 2happy2happy Posts: 5,138Registered Users
    I'm so sorry.
    Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away.
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  • YolyCYolyC Posts: 3,758Registered Users
    I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  • KeeweeKeewee Posts: 1,376Registered Users
    AWWWW I am so sorry....
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    *hugs*
  • anonnymouseanonnymouse Posts: 1,340Registered Users
    I'm so sorry. :(
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  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users
    :( I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a Samson once, too.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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  • Curly Girl FlaCurly Girl Fla Posts: 1,834Registered Users
    I am crying, too. I am so, so sorry for your loss. My sister is going through the same thing now-it will happen soon, and I can't be there. Your post expressed the emotions so well...
  • curly66curly66 Posts: 161Registered Users
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Your post made me cry. Samson was so lucky to have people that really loved him.:cry:
    Curl Type: 3B/C thick shoulder length brunette
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  • curlylew66curlylew66 Posts: 1,685Registered Users
    :cry: I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your pup.
    Losing them is so hard. They are family. Take care and I hope you find comfort knowing you gave him wonderful years in a happy loving home.
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

    It sounds like Samson was a sweetheart who had a wonderful life with you and your family. What a lucky dog. :)
  • lauraloolauraloo Posts: 2,121Registered Users
    Oh man, I just sobbed into my dinner plate. What a wonderful fur-baby mom you were!

    Just know that you helped him pass peacefully and not in pain... you had the intuition to know when it was time. I'm sure he loved you for that, and he absolutely knew that you loved him.
    Not all who wander are lost.

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  • guinnessguinness Posts: 351Registered Users
    I'm so sorry about Samson :( ....losing our pets is just about the worst feeling ever, it's just so sad to be apart.
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users
    I am so sorry. Reading that made me cry.
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users
    What a wonderful mother you were to be there with him through his suffering. I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for sharing his last day. I just hope I can be as present for Willie when his time comes, and in the meantim enjoy every moment of his neediness and love.
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  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,806Registered Users
    :( I'm so very sorry.
  • fig jamfig jam Posts: 2,555Registered Users
    Oh, the time always, always comes too soon. I am so sorry for your loss, but I do believe you will, as you say, see him again one day. Thank you for sharing his last day with us, even though it made me cry for him, and in remembrance of days like that I've been through with my beloved ones.

    RIP, Samson. And hugs to you.
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  • yogawavesyogawaves Posts: 368Registered Users
    So very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family.
    yogawaves, formerly known as yogagirl
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