Does anyone feel that their curly hair makes them look frumpy?

medusamopheadmedusamophead Posts: 12Registered Users
Please don't bash me for saying this. I am trying to stop flat ironing my 2b,2c type hair. I cut it short when I was pregnantand had to flat iron it to make it look good but it is now getting long enough to wear curly. My hair is just not as curly as it once was. Some strands are straight and some wavy and some have curl so it looks blah. Maybe the problem is the length...maybe it is too short and not long enough for the curls,waves to really form. I just feel kind of frumpy with curly hair but I am trying to over come it. Just wanted to know if anyone else feels this way? I also wonder if I am getting too old to have long hair? I am 37 yrs. old. I wonder how I will wear my hair when I am in my 40's? Will I look older to have long hair? I would love to hear anyone's input. Thanks!
2b/slightly 2c
Growing out my hair-currently all one length....reaches just above my shoulders
Former flat iron junkie
Modified CG since 9/3/08
New regime:
California Baby Tea tree & Lavender shampoo (sulphate free shamp)when needed, Suave Tropical coconut condish, honey rinse, Biosilk Rock hard Gelee, plop, and add more gel, diffuse for more curly look and fuller results. I have to work to make my hair curly. My hair loves honey! Plopping and pineapples rule!
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  • KynnibKynnib Posts: 999Registered Users
    hmm. i dont feel that way but maybe its the cut. Have you been to a curly girl salon to get a curly cut. From what I hear, a good stylist can cut your hair in a certain way to encourage the curl. It could also be the products your using or not using on your hair. A lot of curlies with your hair type say they like AG:recoil to encourage curl or maybe you need to clarify. Or have you dyed your hair recently. I lost a lot of my curl due to me dying my hair one day and dying it back a few days later. It could also be the heat, make sure your flat iron isnt getting too hot and your using a heat protector. Its all good if you want to wear your hair straight. Its your hair and you can do whatever you want with it. Dont let anyone bash you for it, but if you want to wear it curly i wouldnt give up in it.
    4a hair. MOD CG routine.

    Present Loves
    -Back on the (rajasthani) henna train! My hair is so much better now.
    -KBB hair butter mixed with Hairveda Cocasta oil
    -Spiral Solutions Deeply Decadent
  • CurlyHairedFarmerCurlyHairedFarmer Posts: 3,079Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I actually feel really sexy when I diffuse my hair upside down and wear it curly. It has umph!
    Currently Loving:
    Shampoo: Giovanni 50:50

    Conditioners - CJ Strengthening, CJ Beauticurls Argan and Olive Oil, CJ Rehab, CJ Curl Fix

    Leave-in: CJ Smoothing

    Deep Conditioner: CJ Hibiscus and Banana Deep Fix

    Stylers - Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier, AG:Recoil, KCCC, Mop-C Curling Cream, Paul Mitchell Sculpting foam
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    How long ago did you have your child? Pregnancy can change your hair texture, at least temporarily.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • gemini12gemini12 Posts: 146Registered Users
    I actually think my curls make me look and feel younger and I don't feel frumpy at all (well, unless my hair is having a REALLY bad day...LOL!).

    I'm 43 and my hair is currently about shoulder-length, but I'm contemplating letting it grow a bit longer if my hair continues to improve with the CJ routine. I agree with the others that maybe your cut is the issue more than the curls?
    CG as of 8/28/08
    thin/fine 2a/3a hair

    Still searching for my HG's, but currently loving:
    Rinse out: AOHR
    Leave in: Giovanni Direct
    Styling: KCCC, LOOB, TW, TT, HESMU
  • lebanesecurlylebanesecurly Posts: 161Registered Users
    To be honest, I think it's about how you carry it. I mean, two girls could have the exact same curly hair, but if one thinks 'I look so sexy with my big, exotic hair!' and the other appears to be trying to hide behind it...it's going to portray very different things.
    claiming a 2c/3aMiii
    growing my hair out to BSL
    & mod-CG as of 9/1/08 :blob5:
    Low-poo: VitaminShampoo pomegranate+blackberry
    'Poo to clarify: BTZ Noodlehead
    Condish: GVP Conditioning Balm
    Stylers: LOOB! GVP Detangler, HESMU
    Put away for winter: PMRT, TW, LVPNG

    On the rare occasion that I straighten: leave-in V05 vanilla mint, 3-in-1, and Tizz no Frizz
    Pineapples, clips, diffusers, and paper towels are my hair's best friends.
    .I'm a PJ.

  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I think my hair does look frumpy when my bangs are too short and curly. My head looks like a box or like the kind of curls that Naomi on Mama's Family had.
  • whatsercurlwhatsercurl Posts: 4,049Registered Users
    I actually feel really sexy when I diffuse my hair upside down and wear it curly. It has umph!


    ITA!

    I have my hair straightened when I get it coloured. Had it coloured yesterday. I usually love the change once every 3-4 months. But first time ever, I washed out the straight this morning. It seemed really boring to me.

    And OOMPH is exactly what I felt I was missing. :)

    I can understand if you have shorter hair that isn't curling well, or you're getting the aztec look that you'd feel frumpy. But that might be remedied by letting it grow. My curl doesn't really form till shoulder length. Before then it's just big. Of course, I've never had it shorter than that on CG so it could be different now.

    I'm 44 and started growing my hair out when I was around 40. It's now BSL straight. Most people (including some on this forum) have told me I look younger with longer hair than short. There are pics that are 5+ yrs old in my fotki of me with short hair and helmet hair.
    Current Products: CJ Products: CF, DF, CT, SG, AFG, CIAB AND CK is back!
    Current Experiment: S&C by D

    Curl Fix and Daily Fix are my HGs :love4:


    Sulphate and cone free since July 2007

    wavy/curly fine texture/medium porosity/medium-low density

    http://public.fotki.com/whatsercurl/

    PW: wavycurly

    Seek not to change the world. Rather seek to change your mind about the world.
  • medusamopheadmedusamophead Posts: 12Registered Users
    Wow, Whatsercurl, you look like a totally different person with short hair. You look much younger with curly, long hair. I myself was concerned that I am getting too old (I'm 37 yrs old) to have long hair but now I realize that age is just a number and it really comes down to what looks good on you. Whatsercurl, you have awesome ringlets!

    I want you all to know that I am doing so much better with my curly hair these days and I am getting really good results. I think the problem is that I need to grow it longer but in the mean time, it is starting to look better. Better clumping, less frizz, and better curl formation. The fact that I learned about how to clip my part at the roots so that my hair dries out of my hace and stays that way all day has really helped. My shoulders and neck used to hurt from my hair hanging in my face. I know that sounds crazy but it really used to happen. I am really excited about what my hair will look like after it grows out a bit more. Thanks everyone for all of your comments and advice!
    2b/slightly 2c
    Growing out my hair-currently all one length....reaches just above my shoulders
    Former flat iron junkie
    Modified CG since 9/3/08
    New regime:
    California Baby Tea tree & Lavender shampoo (sulphate free shamp)when needed, Suave Tropical coconut condish, honey rinse, Biosilk Rock hard Gelee, plop, and add more gel, diffuse for more curly look and fuller results. I have to work to make my hair curly. My hair loves honey! Plopping and pineapples rule!
  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Whatshercurl, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you look so much better with your curls! Just younger, livelier, and almost more sophisticated (which I know people don't associate with curly hair).
    I think the only way curls can make someone look frumpy is if they're looking lifeless.
    por-que-no-te-callas.jpg
  • RawrSallyRawrSally Posts: 1,388Registered Users
    I'm the complete opposite. I always felt frumpy when I straightened my hair. It was long and just weighed me down. I always felt boring and ordinary. I only did it because I had no clue how to work with my natural hair.
    I love my hair now though. I love how it's voluminous and a source of entertainment for me and all my friends. [My friends named my curls the other day. I had two curls that had come together, so they named it Felix the Double Helix. xD] But yeah, I've always loved and wanted curly hair. I thought it looked so romantic and beautiful, so I'm not opposed to my hair in any way.
  • whatsercurlwhatsercurl Posts: 4,049Registered Users
    Thanks medusamophead and sairis for your kind words. :D
    Current Products: CJ Products: CF, DF, CT, SG, AFG, CIAB AND CK is back!
    Current Experiment: S&C by D

    Curl Fix and Daily Fix are my HGs :love4:


    Sulphate and cone free since July 2007

    wavy/curly fine texture/medium porosity/medium-low density

    http://public.fotki.com/whatsercurl/

    PW: wavycurly

    Seek not to change the world. Rather seek to change your mind about the world.
  • smo6767smo6767 Posts: 409Registered Users
    Annarie, I totally agree with you! Straight hair, aside from looking totally ridiculous on me, makes me look boring. And whatsercurl, you look completely different with long hair. Much younger and more alive. Curls just make us all 'spring' back to life, don't they?:tongue5:
    ICONATOR_bb56511c0b5e53f5d21289611d11a822.gif
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Posts: 628Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I feel much "frumpier" with curly hair because when my hair was straight, it had shine.

    However, it was also getting damaged by heat and would only grow to a certain length before it started to look ratty and needed to be cut off. And it is very fine/thin on top, and I didn't want to lose anymore. So I had to give it up.

    I know though that if I grow it out it will look better, so I'm holding out.

    PS I will be 40 in a few weeks.


    paris.jpg
    shiny

    213.jpg
    frumpy
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    [/FONT]
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I feel much "frumpier" with curly hair because when my hair was straight, it had shine.

    However, it was also getting damaged by heat and would only grow to a certain length before it started to look ratty and needed to be cut off. And it is very fine/thin on top, and I didn't want to lose anymore. So I had to give it up.

    I know though that if I grow it out it will look better, so I'm holding out.

    PS I will be 40 in a few weeks.


    paris.jpg
    shiny

    213.jpg
    frumpy

    Your curls show your cheek bones off more and make you look younger (way younger) than 40.
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Posts: 628Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    awww speckla you're always such a sweetie :-)

    I don't have any pics of my curly hair down because I somehow manage to look like I just had a romp in the sack when I don't put it up, regardless of what I do to it. ;-)

    but it will grow and someday (BSL?) it will look good down. I have faith :-)
    [FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]
    [/FONT]
  • twiggylovetwiggylove Posts: 7Registered Users
    I feel much "frumpier" with curly hair because when my hair was straight, it had shine.

    However, it was also getting damaged by heat and would only grow to a certain length before it started to look ratty and needed to be cut off. And it is very fine/thin on top, and I didn't want to lose anymore. So I had to give it up.

    I know though that if I grow it out it will look better, so I'm holding out.

    PS I will be 40 in a few weeks.


    paris.jpg
    shiny

    213.jpg
    frumpy

    You do look frumpier in the curly hair pic but I think it has to do with how you're dressed and your makeup.
  • eche428eche428 Posts: 2,782Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    twiggylove wrote: »
    ... You do look frumpier in the curly hair pic but I think it has to do with how you're dressed and your makeup.

    :shock:

    I don't agree. The second shot is just at a different angle but not frumpy.

    Try looking at your hair in different types of lighting. I always think my curls are more dull and straightened my hair is much shinier. But this weekend we stayed at a friends house and I was shocked at how shiny my curls were in her bathroom mirror. Just a thought.
    < member since 2006 (no idea where 1969 came from :toothy10:).

    [FONT=&quot]Med/high porosity; color treated; med [FONT=&quot]d[/FONT]ensity 2c/3a.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]Summer: (high dew point) co-wash [FONT=&quot]& leave-in [/FONT]Matrix Biolage Cleansing Conditioner for Curly Hair[FONT=&quot]. [/FONT]Ouidad Climate Control Heat & Humidity Gel.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Spring and Fall: (perfect dew point) co-wash & leave-in Curl Junkie Repair Me! or [FONT=&quot]CJ [/FONT]BeautiCurls Strengthening Hair Conditioner; f[FONT=&quot]ollo[/FONT]wed by [FONT=&quot]CJ Pattern Pusha & [/FONT]Curl Queen.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot] W[/FONT]inter: (low dew point) add in [FONT=&quot]CJ [/FONT]Coffee-Coco Curl Creme Lite[FONT=&quot].[/FONT][/FONT]
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    eche428 wrote: »
    twiggylove wrote: »
    ... You do look frumpier in the curly hair pic but I think it has to do with how you're dressed and your makeup.

    :shock:

    I don't agree. The second shot is just at a different angle but not frumpy.

    Try looking at your hair in different types of lighting. I always think my curls are more dull and straightened my hair is much shinier. But this weekend we stayed at a friends house and I was shocked at how shiny my curls were in her bathroom mirror. Just a thought.

    Yeah, go to Eche428's friend's bathroom and admire those shiny curls. :wink:
  • tigerlily63tigerlily63 Posts: 8Registered Users
    I agree with Annarie. I felt frumpy when my hair was straight. I just started doing a modified CG method about a week ago and my hair looks and feels so much more lively. My hair isn't very thick so when I straightened it, it was pretty much lifeless and boring. When it's curly it looks much thicker and it moves more. I've always wanted long curly hair but up until recently I just didn't know how to maintain it and keep it looking nice.
    3c/ with a little 4a
    mid back length
  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    awww speckla you're always such a sweetie :-)

    I don't have any pics of my curly hair down because I somehow manage to look like I just had a romp in the sack when I don't put it up, regardless of what I do to it. ;-)

    but it will grow and someday (BSL?) it will look good down. I have faith :-)

    :shock:

    So you think it looks frumpy when you put it up vs. when you have it down, not curly vs. straight? Because looking like you just had a romp is most definitely NOT frumpy...
    The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
    -Speckla

    But at least the pews never attend yoga!
  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Posts: 628Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LOL yeah I think bedhead looks frumpy. Although BF says its sexay...

    In those pics, the first one was in the desert, where I can straighten my hair and it won't turn into a big ball of frizz.

    The second one was in the jungle, where the humidity is literally just about 100% (cloud forest).

    Since I'm not moving to the desert any time soon, I'd better learn to live with curls! Thats why I'm growing it out. Otherwise I'd go back to my cute super-short spiky haircuts.

    Just that inbetween stage is so... uh... frumpy.
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  • VerityVerity Posts: 616Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I feel extremely frumpy with curly hair. I have tried and tried with different styling methods and cuts to like my curls, but I always feel old and unattractive with them. I recently started straightening my hair, and I feel like a new and younger person.

    I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I think it's harder for women over a certain age to wear curls. On young women, they can look wild and sexy. On older women, they tend to look dated and grandmotherly.
  • mpgirlmpgirl Posts: 1,163Registered Users
    When I straightened my hair I think my styles looked more sophisticated and I had more styling options. I started straightening my hair because I was bored with the limited styles that were available to me with such a tight curl.

    I got tired of the damage, the time involved and the dread I lived with every day that somehow my hair would get wet and I would have to put a bag over my head until I could get to a blow dryer and flat iron! Yikes! My curls were like a secret from everybody who knew me.

    Now, I don't think my curls make me look frumpy (I'm 50) because overall, I'm NOT frumpy. I dress well and look put together even with curls! Yup, I have very curly hair and there is no more denying it. However, I think I look kinda' cute and pretty ageless as I am. So there!
    3b spirals, fine texture, normal porosity, dense
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    Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. -wabi-sabi

  • TillyMunchyWavesTillyMunchyWaves Posts: 671Registered Users
    Well, I am a 2C through and through and even when I am having a bad/frizzy/no definition day, I love having big, curly hair and it DOES NOT make me feel frumpy at all. The bigger the better baby!!!

    I will always remember this, which happened many moons ago when I was 21...

    I had gotten my hair cut the day before and the stylist blow dryed it straight when she was done (something I would never & have never done myself.) I liked it because my hair looked so much longer than it usually does with the wave & body I usually have. And I thought it was softer (which it probably was.)

    That night I drove 4 hours to see my good (male) friend and we went out to dinner with a (female) friend of his. I was kind of excited about my hair, but no one made a comment.

    The next day, I washed my hair and it went back to normal. We saw his friend--pinstraight, blond friend-- again, and she said, "OMG, you have beautiful hair. It's so pretty." and my good friend said, "Oh, I know, doesn't she? You look gorgeous" and he looked at me in a way I'll never forget.

    So that was the first and last time I've ever straightened my hair, and I've never wanted to, either.
    Wavy, curly on the ends, 2C.
    Coarse to medium textured, porous, dry, and lots of it.
    Shampoo--HSH Pumpkin, Abba Pure Moisture
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    For inquiring minds who want to know:
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  • xtxscarletxtxxtxscarletxtx Posts: 21Registered Users
    I love my curly hair after almost my entire life of hating it. When it's straight it's so thin looking and so lifeless. I hate the way my face looks with thin hair...people that know me usually remember me by my BIG hair and i like that...i think big hair is sexy no matter what age and as long as you take care of it, it's not going to look frumpy.
    3b/3c =) Finally loving my curls!
  • curlybrunette5curlybrunette5 Posts: 264Registered Users
    Yes yes yes! I thought it was just me. I feel very frumpy with my curls. I figured out why: my face shape just doesn't go with my tight curls. I love curls. I see girls everywhere with beautiful curls- tight and loose- yet I could never figure out why I hated my own. They just don't look good on me! Like halter tops and boyshort bathing suit bottoms, tight curls just don't suit me. Straight hair looks nice, wavy loose curls looks better, but tight, not so much. Here's the problem though, my hair will either go straight or curly there is no wavy option. You wavy/loose curled girls don't know how lucky you are!
    3a on top and sides/3b underneath...lots of hair

    My HG: Sabino Lok & Blok
  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Verity wrote: »
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I feel extremely frumpy with curly hair. I have tried and tried with different styling methods and cuts to like my curls, but I always feel old and unattractive with them. I recently started straightening my hair, and I feel like a new and younger person.

    I know it's not a popular opinion here, but I think it's harder for women over a certain age to wear curls. On young women, they can look wild and sexy. On older women, they tend to look dated and grandmotherly.

    I feel the same right now but I'm only in my 20s. I think I would look better and not 'frumpy' if my hair was less curly or wavy. I'm going to buy a straightener this week.
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • eweniqueewenique Posts: 1,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oreo, you don't look frumpy with curls! It's a beautiful soft look that brings out the curves of your face.
    2C wavy with some spirals. CG since April 07. Medium texture and porosity.
    COs: Yes to Cucumbers
    Stylers: Miss Jessies Coily Custard, KCCC

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Live Simply. Use Soap
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  • winifredwinifred Posts: 295Registered Users
    I think women of a certain age look frumpy if they have either super short and tight poodle hair or frizzy Q-tip hair styles. Curly hair that is longer and well cared for looks beautiful on women of all ages.
  • jeepcurlygurljeepcurlygurl Posts: 20,507Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Virtuoso
    I've never felt frumpy with curly hair, whether it was short or long. Even now, when it's curly and grey to boot, I don't feel frumpy!

    oreo - I hope I don't sound like a pervy old lady but with that figure I doubt anyone would call you frumpy. I'm not sure they would even notice your hair! : )
    --I'm located in Western PA.   --I found NC in late 2004, CG since February 2005, joined the forums in May 2005, started going grey in late 2005.   --My hair is 3B with some 3A, currently at mid back length when dry,  texture-medium/fine, porosity-top is low, middle is medium, ends are porous, elasticity-normal.   --My long time favorite products are Suave & VO5 conditioners, LA Looks Sport Gel, coconut oil, honey, vinegar.   
    --My CG and grey hair progress -  
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/going-gray/179328-jeepys-grey-hair-progress.html   
    --My article at NaturallyCurly about going grey - https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/seniors/how-i-went-completely-gray-and-loved-it
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