first attempt at talking to my mother about the CG routine - FAIL.

:'(

Okay so, I tried really, really hard! I told her about the website and about the book and how all of you people follow it and it makes your hair look great, but she seems to think that your guys' hair must be thin, and that no one has hair like me.

My hair is very thick and has what my mom calls the "duck feather" effect.. it basically repels water, and dries REALLY quick. She told me because my hair is thick and has the "duck feather" effect, no one else has hair like mine.

She won't listen! My grandmother, a hair dresser, sent me the whole Mop C curl line (sulfate free shampoo, cone free products) and I told my mom that it fit in with a modified CG routine, and she told me that everything that you people were saying on here was bullcrap, and I will only be able to have it work when my hair thins out as I get older.

AH SHE FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH SOME TIMES!
I'm mostly a 3b-c, with a bit of everything else thrown in.
I'm 17 years old.
SL when dry.
I'm kind of CG (occasional sulphate)

Wash: Miss Jessie's Creme de la Curl Cleansing Creme, Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner, Occasional LowPoo grabbed from a drugstore or Biotera Moisturizing Shampoo (for BAD buildup)
Condition: Kenra, AOHR, Queen Helene's Cholesterol, Biolage Conditioning Balm, Generic KPak
ALWAYS Biotera Styling Gel
Haven't found a leave-in I like yet

Comments

  • sransomxdazzlessransomxdazzles Posts: 22Registered Users
    Well thats not true, my hair is very thick, one day I pulled a strand out of my moms head and my head to compare, and I was like whoa mom, look how much thicker my hair is than yours. The point is, I just started curlgirl two days ago and my thick hair has reacted very well to it.
  • wavycurly40+wavycurly40+ Posts: 2,017Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Is your mother going to forbid you from doing this, then? Or is she just going to give you a really hard time about it?

    Maybe you can work out a compromise where you try it for one month? Just to see?

    I mean, there are MUCH worse things you could be doing to earn your mother's disapproval....

    Wurly and proud!
    Modified CG since 2008.
  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users Curl Novice
    Just dont tell her! I dont know how old you are but as far as Im concerned its none of my mothers business what I do with my hair.
  • sransomxdazzlessransomxdazzles Posts: 22Registered Users
    Same with me I didnt even tell my mom what I was doing, she bought me the stuff I needed without any questions.
  • figiwater9figiwater9 Posts: 79Registered Users
    She has forbidden me, and won't buy me the products I need, even though I can get VO5 for MUCH less than the hair-destroying garnier, pantene, and tresemme brands she's been buying.

    She's such a hypocrite. She let me dye my blonde hair black a couple of summers ago, and she said "If the worse thing you do in your life is mess up your hair, I'll be happy." And yet she says she won't let me try this because it'll mess up my hair! WTH?
    I'm mostly a 3b-c, with a bit of everything else thrown in.
    I'm 17 years old.
    SL when dry.
    I'm kind of CG (occasional sulphate)

    Wash: Miss Jessie's Creme de la Curl Cleansing Creme, Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner, Occasional LowPoo grabbed from a drugstore or Biotera Moisturizing Shampoo (for BAD buildup)
    Condition: Kenra, AOHR, Queen Helene's Cholesterol, Biolage Conditioning Balm, Generic KPak
    ALWAYS Biotera Styling Gel
    Haven't found a leave-in I like yet
  • sransomxdazzlessransomxdazzles Posts: 22Registered Users
    Well thats really bad, but cant you get it in a sneaky way, the suave and vo5 conditioners are very cheap.
  • curlyjenn10curlyjenn10 Posts: 2,034Registered Users
    Don't tell her about it. Wait until you've finished whatever conditioner you have now (hopefully soon!) and then when it's time to buy a new bottle say you want to try Suave. Or Vo5. Or just use the Mop-C you got. If it was a gift, it would be rude not to use it, right?

    I've been lucky in that my mom hasn't really had control over my hair since elementary school. Once I was old enough to decide what cut and what products I wanted to use, it was ok. I'm the only curly in my immediate family, so that may have been part of it. They all know about CG, but I don't think she cares.

    I take that back. My dad cares because whenever I'm home, my products are strewn all over their bathroom, lol. I have a good-sized collection. And I'll sneak products into the shopping cart if I'm with them at the store. My mom's the only one who cares about that.

    The point is some people just don't get it. I'm sure if she sat down and took the time to read the book or look around this website, she might start to understand. If it's important for you to have her understanding and permission, I'd confront her about it. Tell her how it makes you feel when she says things like that; how much it means to you, that you want to be taken seriously. Ask for a trial period. It's not expensive (or at least, it doesn't have to be). You can get a Suave conditioner and a Herbal Essences gel for a total of under $10. Good luck!
    CG since 6/15/08!
    Medium-Fine/Normal Porosity

    http://collegecurly.blogspot.com/
  • Swedish Fish AddictSwedish Fish Addict Posts: 8Registered Users
    OP - if you're mature enough to compose a post like that, you're mature enough to make your own choices about your hair, IMHO.
    3a CG rookie
    aiming for BSL length - Grow hair Grow!:blob7:
    Currently using Suave Coconut co., TJ Nourish co, CK, Biotera cc + gel
  • Stephanie198907Stephanie198907 Posts: 2,607Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I honestly did not see a reason to have a discussion w/ my mom about the curly girl routine. I just started growing my curls out and doing the cg routine and she gives me slack about it but thats it. There really is nothing she can do about it, it is my hair. I have not used shampoo in months and my hair is just fine. A box of baking soda is about 49cents, go out and buy some and just start using it to wash your hair w/o your mom knowing. While your at it, smuggle in some cheap moisturizing conditioners like suave and V05 ($1) and co-wash. When your hair starts to look and feel amazing and your mom takes notice, break the news, "Mom, I haven't used shampoo in weeks and I've been co-washing behind your back!".
    Last Relaxer: Nov. 07
    BC: May. 2010 (30 months)
    Hair Type: thick 4b/4a
    Current length: back at APL
    Goal length: hip :color:
    Staples: natural growth aides
  • cjohnson2010cjohnson2010 Posts: 58Registered Users
    I agree Stephanie.
  • DEL2CDEL2C Posts: 6,418Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    figiwater9 wrote: »
    :'(

    Okay so, I tried really, really hard! I told her about the website and about the book and how all of you people follow it and it makes your hair look great, but she seems to think that your guys' hair must be thin, and that no one has hair like me.

    My hair is very thick and has what my mom calls the "duck feather" effect.. it basically repels water, and dries REALLY quick. She told me because my hair is thick and has the "duck feather" effect, no one else has hair like mine.

    She won't listen! My grandmother, a hair dresser, sent me the whole Mop C curl line (sulfate free shampoo, cone free products) and I told my mom that it fit in with a modified CG routine, and she told me that everything that you people were saying on here was bullcrap, and I will only be able to have it work when my hair thins out as I get older.

    AH SHE FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH SOME TIMES!
    My hair is soooooooooo thick and if it wasn't for the CG routine it would be completely out of control. Don't talk to anyone about it if they don't support you. Just do it! You're not committing a crime don't try to convert non-believers just do your thing and watch how happy your hair will be!
    Discovered CG 2007

    2C Fia BSL/Thick/Med-Coarse/Low(crown)-Normal Porosity Protein and Oil Sensitive

    Link-Spritz & Condish Washing:glasses7:

    I'm aCurlJunkieJunky :love4:

    My hair LOVES Coconut DESPISES Soap Bars :tongue6:


    CJRehab or H&B Fix, Deva NO POO, EO Rose & Cham POO & Condish, CJ CurlFix, CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB, SS FHG, KCCC, BRHG, AG Mousse Gel, ACV Rinses,Shikakai Conditioning Hair Rinse.
  • cjohnson2010cjohnson2010 Posts: 58Registered Users
    DEL2C wrote: »
    figiwater9 wrote: »
    :'(

    Okay so, I tried really, really hard! I told her about the website and about the book and how all of you people follow it and it makes your hair look great, but she seems to think that your guys' hair must be thin, and that no one has hair like me.

    My hair is very thick and has what my mom calls the "duck feather" effect.. it basically repels water, and dries REALLY quick. She told me because my hair is thick and has the "duck feather" effect, no one else has hair like mine.

    She won't listen! My grandmother, a hair dresser, sent me the whole Mop C curl line (sulfate free shampoo, cone free products) and I told my mom that it fit in with a modified CG routine, and she told me that everything that you people were saying on here was bullcrap, and I will only be able to have it work when my hair thins out as I get older.

    AH SHE FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH SOME TIMES!
    My hair is soooooooooo thick and if it wasn't for the CG routine it would be completely out of control. Don't talk to anyone about it if they don't support you. Just do it! You're not committing a crime don't try to convert non-believers just do your thing and watch how happy your hair will be!

    So true.
  • curlywurly271curlywurly271 Posts: 286Registered Users
    Have you shown her the before and after CG thread?? I'm sure if she actually saw for herself how great it can make peoples' hair look she'd reconsider. Also maybe you should agree with her to try it for a few weeks.

    And by the way I can totally relate to you - my mum is exactly the same. I havn't told her about this website or the book or anything but I did tell her I've stopped using shampoo. I've been CG for over 8 months now and I still get grief from her every single day. Oh well I'm starting uni in 3 weeks so I'll finally be able to get away from her!!!
    UK curly :occasion8:


    event.png
  • rymorg2rymorg2 Posts: 2,571Registered Users
    I'm a stylist....one thing to keep in mind is that the "duck feather" syndrome your mom is talking about is caused by the buildup from the cones. I think if you went CG or even modified you would find that it was better. But I don't have any advice on how to convince her of it, sorry.
    Cosmetology Educator with sensitivities, eczema and Seborrheic Dermatitis.
    Low poo: looking
    COWash: Eden, cheapo condish, CJDF
    RO: varies
    Protein: CJCF or CJRM
    DT: CJHBDF, CJCR, DBPC
    LI: varies, usually KCKT
    Stylers: KCCC, CRNCM, UFDCM, Curls gel, ecostyler

    Lady Karaan, High Priestess of Hayr Tretements in the Order of Curly Crusaders
    Fotki updated 10/12/10 Password: wavy
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Frizzia Frizzia Posts: 43Registered Users
    I told my mom she freaked! So I offered to buy the shampoo and condish when it ran out. I told her she was right that it was unhygenic, but I bougt vo5, no cones. I didnt shampoo my hair but while she did I dumped out a little bit at a time(to look like I was).My hair's doing better and she attributing to me using shampoo......
    2c with a bit of 3a curls
    Loving: Paul Mitchell Mousse + LA looks curl gel
  • TrixieTrixie Posts: 260Registered Users
    Wow, when I told my mom she was super interested in it. I even bought her some Suave Coconut and now she cowashes sometimes too! In any case, you should just do what you want, it's your hair. Its like your mom telling you what kind of lotion or toothpaste to use. Sorry she's being so grumpy to you about it.
    Somewhere between a 2b/c and a 3a

    Current product favorites
    Cleansers: Giovanni TTTT shampoo, Deva No-Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Conditioner
    Conditioners: Tigi Moisture Maniac, Yes to Cucumbers, GVP Conditioning Balm, AOHR
    Stylers/Gels: KCCC, SS CEJ and FHG, AOMM, BRHG, LA Looks Sport Gel, Lustrasilk (winter), Pink Boots (winter)
    Henna glosses!
  • AlliyAlliy Posts: 73Registered Users
    I never even breached the subject with my parents. When I was young, my mother brushing my hair was simply torture, so ever since I was old enough to care for my hair on my own my parents have had minimal or no input. They have no idea what I do to my hair, and they don't show and interest in it other than to tell me when it does or doesn't look good. My two aunts and two grandmothers are the only ones who really take interest in helping me, and they remember what my hair used to be like so they're very open to ideas of any sort like that. I would say, get your grandmother who sent you the Mop C line in on this, and show her the site. She may be able to help convince your mom!
    2Cish hair
    Currently loving my Herbal Essences None of Your Frizziness :love7:
  • onethousandcurlsonethousandcurls Posts: 1,118Registered Users
    I can't believe your mom cares enough to go to the trouble of forbidding you!

    You know, you can get to Target or wherever with some friends, get what you need, put it in some unmarked container, and use it. Or have a friend give it to you at school.

    I told my mom about CG and she just looked at my like, why are you even telling me? No interest. My mom does what Alliy's mom does: compliments or comments on the state of my hair, not how I got it that way.
    3b/c, CG 9/18/08
    Last process: 04/05/08 Big Chop: 08/08/09
    Currently: Herbal Essences Hello Hydration, Herbal Essences Set Me Up gel (summer only), Boots Curl Creme (winter only)
  • RyanneRyanne Posts: 686Registered Users
    Just do it behind her back, you're not doing anything wrong. It's a strange thing to forbid.
    My mother didn't really care, sometimes she asks about it, but that's it.
  • MelecrystalMelecrystal Posts: 63Registered Users
    figiwater9 wrote: »
    :'(

    Okay so, I tried really, really hard! I told her about the website and about the book and how all of you people follow it and it makes your hair look great, but she seems to think that your guys' hair must be thin, and that no one has hair like me.

    My hair is very thick and has what my mom calls the "duck feather" effect.. it basically repels water, and dries REALLY quick. She told me because my hair is thick and has the "duck feather" effect, no one else has hair like mine.

    She won't listen! My grandmother, a hair dresser, sent me the whole Mop C curl line (sulfate free shampoo, cone free products) and I told my mom that it fit in with a modified CG routine, and she told me that everything that you people were saying on here was bullcrap, and I will only be able to have it work when my hair thins out as I get older.

    AH SHE FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH SOME TIMES!
    This is funny! My daughter is deaf and I say that in heaven, before she was born, everytime the angels called out "hair" (meaning get in line for hair) she thought they were saying "here" and went. As a result, she went through the hair line 7-8 times! It is almost impossible to find her scalp. Believe me, I know! I have to attach her cochlear device every morning and have to move enough hair out of the way for the magnet to make contact. It is VERY difficult to do.

    So.....tell your mother that there is at least one other out there maybe worse than you. I have been doing the no-shampoo deal for only about 4 weeks now and her hair has make an amazing turn around. I did a wonderful job before with easy, soft shampoos only rarely, lots of moisturizers, only wide tooth gentle combing, etc. but the new routines on her have made her hair even better. I am curly/wavy. My daughter is multi racial adopted and has extremely thick soft tight ringlets in a soft wheat brown color. Ask your mother for a trial period.

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file