CurlTalk

Unusual obituary

EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
Do you know anyone who deserves this?

EDIT: The link I originally posted is dead, so I'll post the text of the obit here.
Dolores Aguilar

1929 - Aug. 7, 2008Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.
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Comments

  • texascurlytexascurly Posts: 1,967Registered Users
    Wow!! I'd love to know that story...
  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users
    Wow. But then we don't know what she did to her family, so maybe she did deserve that.
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Yikes, that's harsh!
    ehLB.jpg
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Wow. But then we don't know what she did to her family, so maybe she did deserve that.

    Oh, I'm sure she did deserve it. Her name, Dolores, seems very appropriate.
  • CurlyOver40!CurlyOver40! Posts: 758Registered Users
    She must have been some piece of work!
    The comments in the guest book speaks volumes too!

    Very sad.

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  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Wow. But then we don't know what she did to her family, so maybe she did deserve that.

    Oh, I'm sure she did deserve it. Her name, Dolores, seems very appropriate.
    What do you mean, Eilonwy?
    Yeah, the guest book is quite interesting...
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  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    Is that for real? I can't imagine someone writing something like that. Regardless of how much someone dislikes their mother (I can't say I like my mother, but I would NEVER write something like that), I just can't imagine someone writing that.

    Maybe counseling would help this person, maybe the mother was abusive? An alcoholic?

    Sad really :sad8:
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    What do you mean, Eilonwy?

    "Dolores" means "sorrows." The root can also mean "pain." It's a reference to the Virgin Mary as Our Lady of Sorrows, but it sounds like this woman lived up to her name in a less-holy sense.
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    Good things come to those who wait. Congratulations to the family and all the best for the future.Ota Benga (NY, NY)

    :shock:

    In some ways this is amusing but ultimately I think its tragic that anyone's life (then death) elicits this type of response.
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  • MaybeWavyMaybeWavy Posts: 374Registered Users
    Wow.
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  • EliciaElicia Posts: 881Registered Users
    holy crap that is bad ! how sad . it is hard to believe that there was not a least a tiny bit of good in that person. I mean you could not think of one thing ? jeez . i don't see how a family can try to heal when they could not even let go of the anger for a second to bul l**** though an obituary . "Deloris died no service will be held" The end would have been classier
  • YomYom Posts: 1,146Registered Users
    I really am at a loss for words..
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  • YolyCYolyC Posts: 3,758Registered Users
    Good things come to those who wait. Congratulations to the family and all the best for the future.Ota Benga (NY, NY)
    :shock:

    In some ways this is amusing but ultimately I think its tragic that anyone's life (then death) elicits this type of response.

    I was just coming to paste the same quote. I can't imagine how bad this person must have treated people to get this kind of send off. :sad8:
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  • PigletPiglet Posts: 1,451Registered Users
    If I was in that position, I don't think I would have written an obituary at all.
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  • MichelleBFTMichelleBFT Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    I can think of a person or two who deserve this kind of thing. I'm impressed whoever wrote it had the balls to have it published.

    A lot of horrible people become saints in the eyes of the living after they've died, and I find that far worse than admitting when someone just sucked at life. If someone was an a55, it's better to call a spade a spade.
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  • misspammisspam Posts: 5,318Registered Users
    Eilonwy wrote: »
    Do you know anyone who deserves this?

    Yes, unfortunately I do.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Koukla72Koukla72 Posts: 1,680Registered Users
    Edited due to a cyberstalker. Sorry, guys. :(
  • EliciaElicia Posts: 881Registered Users
    YolyC wrote: »
    Good things come to those who wait. Congratulations to the family and all the best for the future.Ota Benga (NY, NY)
    :shock:

    In some ways this is amusing but ultimately I think its tragic that anyone's life (then death) elicits this type of response.

    I was just coming to paste the same quote. I can't imagine how bad this person must have treated people to get this kind of send off. :sad8:


    see i don't believe she could have been all bad there had to be someone somewhere that she made a positive impact (however brief) on . How is it possible to walk through life without leaving at least one positive print .
    i think that obituary is more telling about the people in her life than her life .
  • PigletPiglet Posts: 1,451Registered Users
    I don't know whether this woman truly deserved the obituary or not, because obviously I didn't know her. I do believe there are people who are worthy of such obituaries. In fact I know one myself.
    Yes, my tail is naturally curly.
    No, it was NOT me who cried 'wee wee wee wee wee' all the way home.
  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    I can't believe the paper published it, if it's real....
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  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users
    I can think of a couple of people who deserve that kind of obit.

    I have to agree that it's more honest than the false positive eulogies for people.
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  • WiregirlWiregirl Posts: 1,695Registered Users
    I love it, just wish I had the balls to write this for my father when died.:occasion9:
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    Is it me? I didn't find it to be that bad...more sad for the her and the family. From the reactions, I thought it was going to be really really mean and unflattering.

    I wonder if she was just too tired (if I counted correctly, she had 9 children) and if it was part of her generation that she couldn't show her emotions.
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  • The New BlackThe New Black Posts: 16,738Registered Users
    Windflower...it was really mean and unflattering...I thought
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users
    Wow, sad. But yeah, I do think some people deserve that. If writing this publicly helps the family heal, then it's worth it. I didn't think it was mean. And to those saying you can't believe that someone went through life doing nothing positive, the obit does say they may think back on the few good times as well.
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  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    I could honestly see myself writing something similar about my mother. Not as an obit to publish, but as something personal to get my feelings out.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I could honestly see myself writing something similar about my mother. Not as an obit to publish, but as something personal to get my feelings out.


    This is exactly what I was thinking and how I feel.
  • EilonwyEilonwy Posts: 12,389Registered Users
    Elicia wrote: »
    see i don't believe she could have been all bad there had to be someone somewhere that she made a positive impact (however brief) on . How is it possible to walk through life without leaving at least one positive print .
    i think that obituary is more telling about the people in her life than her life .

    It's pretty common for people who are abused to focus on the few nice or neutral things that their abusers do. This allows the abused people to be in denial about their situation. I think it's healthy that whoever wrote this isn't stuck in that trap.

    I think that what it tells about the person who wrote this is that he or she is breathing a huge sigh of relief, and is hoping to see some changes in the family.
  • midgimidgi Posts: 2,409Registered Users
    My mom would write a similar obituary for her dad. I'd call him my "grandfather" but I've never met him and as far as I'm concerned he doesn't exist. The stories she told me about her childhood make it real easy for me to write such a disturbed man off.
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I don't think that that should have been written and it doesn't speak well for the writer/s, regardless of what went on. If they couldn't manage to say anything nice, then they shouldn't have said anything at all (no obituary, or else just give her name, date of passing, names of children and grandchildren and say "no funeral will be held and no flowers please." That would have made the same point without dragging your family's name through the mud.)

    I don't doubt that this person hurt a lot of people, but for their own healing, it might be good to try and find the speck of good in her that had to have been there. Also, regardless of what happened, she is their mother/grandmother, and in my opinion, you should always honour your parents and grandparents - they were given to you and you have no others. Yes, I know that there are parents who abuse and neglect their children, and I don't mean that you should pretend that they are great parents or great people, but you also don't have to stoop to their level.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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