Spinoff: Do you know your SO's passcodes? legally? :)))

dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
Do you and SO know each other's passwords?

DaNa and I know each other's email(s), checking/saving, credit card, and cell phone passcodes. He can check my email and I can check his. We don't log on to each other's accounts unless necessary, but we have the information if needed or desired.

An example of once it was needed - I was out of town and the car rental place couldn't find my information. I called DaNa and he was able to look up my confirmation code in my inbox and read it to me over the phone. Another time, he didn't remember what time his flight was supposed to return, so I checked his email for him and told him. That's much quicker than waiting on customer service to pick up the phone at an airline.

An example of unnecessary times we'll access each other's email accounts - if he knows I sent my friends/family some pictures of Dia and I forgot to forward them to him, he'll go into my account and forward them to himself if I can't do it right away, then send them out to his friends/family before he forgets.

For credit cards and bank cards, I guess it's not as big a deal since everything is in both our names anyway. But, we have different codes for our individual cards and we know that info if we need to use it.

Is it a big deal to have your SO know your passcodes?
People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
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Comments

  • shellibeanshellibean Posts: 4,500Registered Users
    JEESH!! Leave me alone!!! :wink:

    I "legally" know my current boyfriend's passwords to everything but he doesn't know mine.
    A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

    "...you could have a turd on your head and no one would notice."~Subbrock

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  • MizKerriMizKerri Posts: 1,701Registered Users
    No, I have no reason to know his nor does he have to know mine. However, if something were to come up where we needed each other's, we would not have a problem sharing them.
    Location: Southern NH

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  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    We know MOST of each other passcodes. I have so many that I tend to use the same thing so that I can remember them and DH knows what they are.

    I know his email passcode because I needed to check it for him once so he told me what it was.

    For banking we have the same account but our debit cards have different numbers so we have different pin numbers. I don't know what his is and he doesn't know what mine is but it isn't on purpose we just don't need each others numbers. The money comes from the same place so it doesn't matter.

    If he asked me for mine I would give it to him and I'm positive he would tell me his.
  • msrebamsreba Posts: 143Registered Users
    Well ours is a unqiue situation, we have our own mail server, and he is the administrator, so therefore he has to know my passwords cause he sets up the accounts. I know some of his passwords, no big deal for us. I've had to go on to his computer before to look stuff up from him when he wasnt in town.
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    Chakra wrote:
    For banking we have the same account but our debit cards have different numbers so we have different pin numbers. I don't know what his is and he doesn't know what mine is but it isn't on purpose we just don't need each others numbers. The money comes from the same place so it doesn't matter.

    I don't remember DaNa's bank card code because I've only to use it once when we couldn't find a parking space for him to get out and get money and I didn't have my purse with me. He remembers mine by heart, though, because he always loses his wallet in the house and when I need him to run out and get something he ends up just taking my card. If he would listen to me and just put his things in the same spot all the time this wouldn't be a problem! :roll:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • ~915~~915~ Posts: 519Registered Users
    I like to think that I do. We rotate among a number of passwords. If I'm in one of his accounts, I just try until I get the one that he's currently using or I call him on the phone to ask. It works both ways.

    That being said, I don't like it when couples write from a shared e-mail account, like Mr. and Mrs. whoever. Hubby and I use our own personal e-mail accounts and we each use a personal cell phone instead of a family phone. It works for us.

    We also never open mail addressed to the other or enter the other's "personal drawers" in the house. We can if we want to, we just tend not to, if that makes sense. We both have a tendency to be private people.
  • loosecurlsloosecurls Posts: 637Registered Users
    I sure do! There are times he's not around a comp for months on end & I have to access his email. I've also got PIN's and POA!
    Slinky's rule for NC.com:

    I suppose I can't judge you because you married a serviceman and it is wartime. Boo hoo. You must be loney sitting at home with nothing else to do but pick on people. Why don't you go masterbate again?
  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    I hadn't thought of mail before but I open most of the mail addressed to DH if it looks like a bill, a check or something that needs attention. I handle most of the "paperwork" in the house and our social calendar so that works for us.

    If DH receives what looks like a card or fun letter from a friend I tell him to open it so that he can enjoy it.

    I have always taken care of the mail in our house. If he happens to get the mail from the mailbox he will not open my mail. He leaves it in a pile on my desk.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I put that we don't know each other's info, but if needed would share it. He's told me his ATM code before, I have told him mine, but neither one of us really remember the other's. The only number of his that I KNOW is his SSN. If something comes in the mail and it's for him, I don't open it. The only thing I have opened in the past is a CC bill.
    :rambo:
  • mrspoppersmrspoppers Posts: 7,223Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I said that we don't know, but would share if we had to. We have joint bank accounts so it doesn't matter if we know each other's debit card PIN (I've seen him enter it a million times but can't remember it to save my life.); I open his bills because I pay them; we share a certain PIN for everything joint (i.e. eBay, internet access, etc). There is no reason to check each other's email so I don't have his password and he doesn't have mine. We also don't share any passwords that are work-related. And I don't open any mail addressed to him that's not a bill.

    I think people need to have their own space. As long as we're not hiding anything from each other, it's all cool.
    When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?

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  • ChakraChakra Posts: 172Registered Users
    I learned very early on and the hard way that if I didn't open and take care of the mail, it wouldn't get done.

    DH is a very responsible man, a wonderful husband and father and a very good provider but seriously the friggin' mail wouldn't get opened if I didn't do it.
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    mrspoppers wrote:
    I said that we don't know, but would share if we had to. We have joint bank accounts so it doesn't matter if we know each other's debit card PIN (I've seen him enter it a million times but can't remember it to save my life.); I open his bills because I pay them; we share a certain PIN for everything joint (i.e. eBay, internet access, etc). There is no reason to check each other's email so I don't have his password and he doesn't have mine. We also don't share any passwords that are work-related. And I don't open any mail addressed to him that's not a bill.

    I think people need to have their own space. As long as we're not hiding anything from each other, it's all cool.

    Agreed. That's exactly how it works in our house.
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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  • hayseedladyhayseedlady Posts: 646Registered Users
    We both have each other's PIN, passwords, everything. Nothing kept secret in this house, we just respect each other's space.
  • Oregano  (formerly babywavy)Oregano (formerly babywavy) Posts: 5,297Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    That being said, I don't like it when couples write from a shared e-mail account, like Mr. and Mrs. whoever.


    This REALLY annoys me too.

    Ya, we pretty much know eachothers passwords.
    ~ the artist formerly known as babywavy ~

    Please excuse any typos. For the time being, we are blaming it on my computer.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    We share the same code for everything, with the exception of bankcards. I know his and he knows mine, but he can never remember it. :lol:

    We don't have separate email accounts, so no separate passwords.
  • mazeymazey Posts: 709Registered Users
    We both have each other's PIN, passwords, everything. Nothing kept secret in this house, we just respect each other's space.

    Same here, although I am sure I don’t know all of his passwords off-hand. I know his PIN for his bank account, as I get him money out of there some times if I am near his bank, and I know some of his email passwords just because he has me check it for him sometimes if I am the one at the computer. I respect his space and he respects mine, so by no means do I go looking for the info and vice versa. We do keep a master list of passwords socked away since we have about 200 different passwords for different bank accounts, 401K management, health care providers, random online registrations, email accounts, etc., so if I really wanted to access each one I could, and vice versa.
    Madonna getting upset with her daughter for dressing too slutty is like Mr. T getting upset with his son for pitying too many fools.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    That being said, I don't like it when couples write from a shared e-mail account, like Mr. and Mrs. whoever. Hubby and I use our own personal e-mail accounts and we each use a personal cell phone instead of a family phone. It works for us.

    We have three family email accounts, the___s@yahoo, gmail or optonline. Is that what you mean? Dh has no interest in receiving or sending emails, so I'm usually the one opening the emails. I simply forward whatever I think he'd be interested in reading, to his work email address.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    mazey wrote:
    We do keep a master list of passwords socked away since we have about 200 different passwords for different bank accounts, 401K management, health care providers, random online registrations, email accounts, etc., so if I really wanted to access each one I could, and vice versa.

    Very smart thing to do. We must have something like this because sometimes I blank out on certain passwords and dh is of no help when that happens. He'll ask me where his glasses are and they're sitting right in front of him. :lol: Needless to say, I'm in charge of all the passwords around here.
  • ~915~~915~ Posts: 519Registered Users
    medussa wrote:
    That being said, I don't like it when couples write from a shared e-mail account, like Mr. and Mrs. whoever. Hubby and I use our own personal e-mail accounts and we each use a personal cell phone instead of a family phone. It works for us.

    We have three family email accounts, the___s@yahoo, gmail or optonline. Is that what you mean? Dh has no interest in receiving or sending emails, so I'm usually the one opening the emails. I simply forward whatever I think he'd be interested in reading, to his work email address.

    Um, yes I guess that's what I mean. :oops:

    Sometimes, people who are writing to one or the other want privacy. For example, say I have a friend who wants to tell me about her female medical problems. Most likely, I wouldn't tell DH the gory details of such a discussion. I might say that she isn't feeling well or that she has female problems and DH probably wouldn't want to know any more. He has actually explicity requested that he never be aprised of my female friends' sex life. I can't think of another example off the top of my head, but that's the general idea.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    medussa wrote:
    That being said, I don't like it when couples write from a shared e-mail account, like Mr. and Mrs. whoever. Hubby and I use our own personal e-mail accounts and we each use a personal cell phone instead of a family phone. It works for us.

    We have three family email accounts, the___s@yahoo, gmail or optonline. Is that what you mean? Dh has no interest in receiving or sending emails, so I'm usually the one opening the emails. I simply forward whatever I think he'd be interested in reading, to his work email address.

    Um, yes I guess that's what I mean. :oops:

    No worries. 8) If he or I were exchanging private emails like that with other people, I'd probably want separate email accounts too. LOL.
  • dia99dia99 Posts: 1,998Registered Users
    :lol: at Chocolate Curls

    My email address says _____family@___________, but it is only mine. DaNa doesn't use it at all; he has his own account. I named it that so that people who were sending out important things that need to go to both of us would know to send it to that address. So, all of our family reunion stuff goes there, and all emails from church about projects we're working on, or from friends about a party we're invited to, etc. I keep the calendar pretty much, so that's easier. Then, like Medussa, I forward it to him just so he knows - he may or may not read it. :roll:

    Then, all of my friends and family send personal email to me at that account, too, because I only have one private account and that's it. Even though it says "family", it is really just my account named that way to encourage people to send family business info to me instead of DaNa. Is that a little better? :oops:
    People rise to the standard expected of them. GC
  • SaKkehSaKkeh Posts: 986Registered Users
    I'd NEVER give my bf my email password. Its just not necessary and my emails quite frankly are my business and mine only. We are a couple, but inside of that, I'm still an individual. I dont want his password either.
    However, he does know my ATM card PIN, because that is necessary.

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