The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    Residual wrote: »
    I haven't read through this thread, but what do you all think about an 18 year old using a dating site? Weird?

    Any comments?
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  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Residual wrote: »
    Residual wrote: »
    I haven't read through this thread, but what do you all think about an 18 year old using a dating site? Weird?

    Any comments?

    Yeah, kinda weird because I always think that at that age, it's usually pretty easy to meet people [even though it might seem otherwise when one is that age].

    It's only after schooling that I think of these sites as being of any practical use, once you're working FT and your social circle typically ges smaller.

    I don't mean to leave out people who don't go to college. If one isn't in college and is graduated from HS, I suppose that could make meeting people difficult. Also if anyone of any age who is new in town, really shy or what-have-you — the sites can be of help I s'pose.

    I'm speaking for others, though. I pretty much loathe all aspects of online dating. I could never get it to work for me — it was all awkward and chore-like, from start to finish.
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Residual wrote: »
    Residual wrote: »
    I haven't read through this thread, but what do you all think about an 18 year old using a dating site? Weird?

    Any comments?

    I'd be prepared for a bunch of responses from men a generation older than you trying to find a young plaything.
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  • tikigodstikigods Posts: 165Registered Users
    I have no problem with online dating. Actually, if people are completely honest in the application process, it could link together two totally compatible people. The problem is the honesty. In some cases I just don't think people are honest with themselves. It's pretty easy for me to convince myself that I'm a decent guy but the fact remains I have my little annoying mannerisms. These are things a person would have to find out by knowing me because I'm probably just oblivious to them. It would be tough to invest a lot of online "getting to know you" time to figure out you can't stand me because I like to push the toothpaste from the bottom up or like the toilet paper to go over the top and not from the bottom.
    "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."- Kurt Cobain

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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    tikigods wrote: »
    It would be tough to invest a lot of online "getting to know you" time to figure out you can't stand me because I like to push the toothpaste from the bottom up or like the toilet paper to go over the top and not from the bottom.

    I dunno, I think those would be good things in your profile because the alternatives are too annoying! ;-)
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  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Residual wrote: »
    Residual wrote: »
    I haven't read through this thread, but what do you all think about an 18 year old using a dating site? Weird?

    Any comments?

    No right or wrong but I personally would not be in favor of it. I think at 18, like wildhair said, you should be out and about, mingling and meeting people and getting introduced to friends of friends, going to parties and striking up convo at the library, doing things at church, etc. You don't have a full time job or kids to hinder your social life, so you should be out there more, really developing your personality and lifestyle.

    Besides, at 18, you probably don't know what it is exactly that you are looking for or what your "dealbreakers" are. That comes from years of dating and trial/error. Also a lot of people get sucked into long distance relationships with people they meet online...and that just is not something you need to be doing at 18.

    I say, just jump start your social life a little (weekly meeting w/ friends at Starbucks, commit to going out one night a week, join your school's gym, start participating in an extra curricular activity, etc.) and you will meet guys.

    Wait til you are 30 or 40 for the online thing.

  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Posts: 4,151Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Sooooo....I met a guy the weekend before last after he contacted me on PoF. Didn't really think much of it because I get at least 5 messages a week. Less now because I don't log on much. Anyway he drove 60+ miles JUST to treat me to dinner and a movie, and we had a great time. He actually commutes to work in the area, so he's used to driving distances. Anyway, days prior, we talked on the phone for hours. He was inquisitive and generally interested in just getting to know me, and actually LISTENED, as he would pick on me by mentioning a few of my eccentricities in later conversations. ;)

    Anyway, three days after our first date, I get a delivery. I didn't know at first because I was in the shower. Someone else accepted the delivery, and I walked out to a dozen multicolored roses and note saying:

    I just wanted to show you that I had a great time on Sunday evening. These roses are colorful, elegant and vibrant, just like yourself. I hope you like them and they make you smile just as you made me smile. Have a good evening!

    Totally surprised me because NO ONE has ever done that....just because. Seemed very throwback to the gentlemen of my father's heyday. And shows that he payed attention because there's a story behind the rose with me.

    Anyway, we ended up hanging this past weekend and he spoiled me just as much as he believed I spoiled him. Had a great time listening to live music, dancing a lil, eating, and just enjoying eachother's company and conversation. Very much a gentleman and just a good person. It's interesting because it was an unexpected attraction. He's a country boy who literally lives behind a mountain and valley, likes to go atv-ing, etc. But even with that, we have WAY more in common than most guys I've met my age(he's 9 years older). Seems to be at a good place in his life career-wise, and seems to be emotionally balanced. But of course, the first few weeks are always pleasant. Time will only tell if anything can develop from this further. But he wants to see me again soon. Feels nice. :)
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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    That is SO awesome!!!!!!
  • ResRes Posts: 2,911Registered Users
    So, I understand what some of you are saying about getting out more and socializing. I socialize at school, but it is all women so I don't meet guys.

    I guess it is something I really need to put effort into.
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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)


    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!



    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.







    Nice :icon_smile:
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,737Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i honestly have gotten more rude, crude and downright stupid messages from men older than me than the Sweet Young Things.

    i wish i knew why...
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  • NetGNetG Posts: 8,116Registered Users
    Residual wrote: »
    So, I understand what some of you are saying about getting out more and socializing. I socialize at school, but it is all women so I don't meet guys.

    I guess it is something I really need to put effort into.

    Before I say this, I want you to know I'm NOT picking on you. I'm reflecting back upon what I was like at 18, and what my friends were like as well. What I'm saying applies to MANY people your age, and is in no way intended to be an insult, so please understand what I'm saying is from personal experience and observation, and no form of judgment against you.

    I think first you need to put effort into yourself and your own happiness. Dating can be fun, but you seem to put a LOT of weight into the idea of a relationship, which takes the whole fun out of it, especially at 18, when you haven't figured out who you are yet, much less figure out who you would want to date. If you were male, would you want to date yourself? I'm guessing no because you sound as if you want someone else to come along and help you define yourself as his girlfriend so you don't have to figure out how to define yourself as a person. Those feelings make TOTAL sense, but I think you need to readjust what you want in dating, into just wanting to date/meet people/have fun, as you're still figuring yourself out.

    It's incredibly common for someone at 18 to face emotional issues from the drastic changes heading off to college create. Part of the time in college is working on yourself and figuring out what all this emotional upheaval means. Please, please, work on figuring yourself out without trying to put the burden of figuring it out for you on a guy. You will be much happier, and much less likely to end up with an abusive guy. That's the biggest danger to me - sure, you can get in a relationship and be hurt. Happens to nearly everyone. But when you so desperately feel you NEED someone is when you leave yourself a prime target for someone to take advantage of you and mistreat you, and leave much longer lasting damage. I think that need will show online and make you appear to be an easy target. Sure, 18 seems young for online dating to me, and yes I assume 18 will mean there will be some creeps who are older and trying to take advantage of your age. But mainly it's the (very common, very understandable at 18 ) emotional upheaval you're currently going through which makes me say I think online dating would be a really bad idea for you.
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  • SariaSaria Posts: 15,963Registered Users
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)


    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!

    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.


    Nice :icon_smile:

    Fess up, what your message really said was "go to hell, you old geezer!", wasn't it? :p

    Men really are something else sometimes, thinking they can just get a young attractive woman just because they want her, even when they're too damn old.
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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    Saria wrote: »
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)


    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!

    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.


    Nice :icon_smile:

    Fess up, what your message really said was "go to hell, you old geezer!", wasn't it? :p

    Men really are something else sometimes, thinking they can just get a young attractive woman just because they want her, even when they're too damn old.

    Haha.

    Seriously, wasn't my not responding his multitudes of messages a simple enough "NO" for him!??!?!?!?

    Then again, I have a former friend (there's a few reasons why she's a former friend) who was my age and CONSTANTLY picking-up older man she met online! THere's one 55-60-year-old that lives in another country who constantly comes here for business and she'll stay in his hotel room and go to fancy dinners with him, and then he goes back home...(and probably to his wife.)

    So, I guess there's other young women like that out there!
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)


    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!



    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.







    Nice :icon_smile:


    You are way too nice.
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    eccentric_kurlz that's a great story! keep us posted. i'm a firm believer in "you never know" and "when it's your time, it's your time"....stay positive and open ;-)

    canitbechristine that is crazy!! some people you can't please!! i had a much older guy 2000 miles away and not at all what i was looking for e-mail me repeatedly. i put him on my block list. you should add mr 60 y/o stalker to your blocked list which prevents him from contacting you.

    this time around i decided i wouldn't respond to messages if i felt they were messages guys probably sent to 20 girls just to see if anyone responded. i've gotten good at being able to tell those now. there's no reference to anything in my profile just some generic (usually lame) sound bites. i also don't feel the need to respond to guys that don't live in my city or are much, much older or don't want kids (all things that are pretty clear in my basic profile selections if they read it). for those guys that send a nice and personalized message but i'm not interested (or the the age thing). i simply respond back "thanks for your e-mail. i believe we're looking for different things. good luck in your search"...after that even if they respond back or wink or look at my profile everyday i feel no need to respond.

    good luck. it's work but i'm still positive. did y'all see the article that was on cnn in the lifestyle section (a frisky article i believe) about the girl that was online (i'm assuming off and on) for 7 years and was about to cancel her membership but forgot the month she met "the one"?? the one she is now married to as of last may. it was a really good story about the benefits of just hanging in there and not getting discouraged.

    found the article
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  • tikigodstikigods Posts: 165Registered Users
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)

    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!

    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.


    Nice :icon_smile:

    What would have been mean is if you said something like, "Sixty, huh? Are you in good health? Can you fax me copies of your bank records? kthxbi"
    "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."- Kurt Cobain

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  • eccentric_kurlzeccentric_kurlz Posts: 4,151Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    That is SO awesome!!!!!!

    It is. A very pleasant surprise thus far. :)
    luvmylocs wrote:
    eccentric_kurlz that's a great story! keep us posted. i'm a firm believer in "you never know" and "when it's your time, it's your time"....stay positive and open :wink:

    I'll definitely keep you all posted. He's a sweetie pie, and it's pretty cool that he goes the distance. I'm SOOO used to having to be THAT person that it's weird being the one that's getting spoiled to a degree. Anyway, I generally go by a no expectation approach, but I'm going to enjoy getting to know him and continue in being open. Never know what could happen.
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  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    luvmylocks...that story is adorable!
  • luvmylocsluvmylocs Posts: 7,578Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    luvmylocks...that story is adorable!


    yes i thought it was pretty cool!! goes to show...when it's your time, it's your time ;-)

    the oprah site had an article that i linked to some kind of way about how to find the love of your life and the main take away for me was to follow your intuition. this lady was having and otherwise craptastic day but she made up her mind to let it go and it popped into her head to go have breakfast at a place she doesn't normally go. well she was seated at a table near a guy who started talking to her, then asked if he could sit with her, then asked her out....many times and ultimately proposed. she had no idea why she felt such a strong urge to go to that place but she followed her intuition...interesting. kind of like "the secret" meets "millionaire matchmaker", lol!
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  • kat180kat180 Posts: 6,280Registered Users Curl Novice
    tikigods wrote: »
    Reminds me of a message I got...

    So, this SIXTY YEAR OLD MAN sends me EIGHT MESSAGES in a row.

    Then a ninth, asking why I wasn't responding to his messages.

    (He is thirty-five years older than I am. He is five years older than my mom.)

    Me: Sorry, I think our age difference is too steep and I'm just not interested. Thanks, though, and good luck!

    Him:
    I'm surprised that someone who claims to be so sweet would make a nasty, gratuitous comment like that. A simple no would have been fine. That comment was very nasty for no reason.
    But I feel better as I never want to be with a mean person and that was, needlessly, mean
    I bet I still see your post for a long time.


    Nice :icon_smile:

    What would have been mean is if you said something like, "Sixty, huh? Are you in good health? Can you fax me copies of your bank records? kthxbi"

    LOL this made me laugh! :) :notworthy:
  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users Curl Neophyte


    "Only in America could a man so ugly make a career out of dating."
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  • chanmeleonchanmeleon Posts: 29Registered Users
    Very interesting thread! I have had three relationships come out of online dating. Two failed (miserably!) but the last one has lasted over a year. We live together with our three cats and I feel so lucky. :love5:

    I liked luvmylocks' story. Something similar happened before I met my boyfriend. He asked me out and I didn't really want to meet him. I had been on a number of bad, BAD dates, including but not limited to one with a very sweaty pizza delivery guy, with a gay guy (really), and with a guy who was beyond obsessed with his cat (as in, I felt like I was competing with the cat). But my best friend convinced me to go; what better did I have to do on a Thursday night? I went, and it was the best date I've ever had. We always joke that we owe my friend a fruit basket for it. :)
  • amy51373amy51373 Posts: 1,205Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    It is so nice to see that I'm not the only one with crazy online dating stories. I seem to attract a large amount of scam artists and have gotten very good at picking out their profiles right away. I've also attracted the ex con, the foot fetish guy, the guy who dated me long enough to get me to help put up his xmas tree and wrap presents and more.
    My friends now call me the one date wonder because I seem to have these great dates and then never hear from the guy again. My best friend even joined one of the sites because he wanted to know if the female's were just as bad as the males (they are).
    I'm cool with being alone and if I'm still single when I'm done with nursing school I'm going to go work for Doctors without Borders so I'm just waiting to see what life throws at me.
    My best story was a guy that in his second email to me said 'the most important question I have to ask is how do you feel about casual sex'.
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  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,737Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    amy51373 wrote: »
    My friends now call me the one date wonder because I seem to have these great dates and then never hear from the guy again.

    this is my experience - exactly!
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  • amy51373amy51373 Posts: 1,205Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I just got the best email ever today though. I about died laughing when I got it. Apparently no one ever told this guy that big girls might be comfortable in their own skin...I've pasted it for everyone's reading pleasure!


    Hello Friend,

    I am sorry for the inconvenience mail to you.

    How are you doing there ? This is XXXX from XXXX.

    I have read your profile in the site, It is very interesting and realism, its very much impressed me. Friend if you have a little time to visit my profile it would pleasure to me. And a sort note from you would be nice.

    As we are a mature person and seriously searching our soul mate for our 2nd half. We are both thirsty for few drop love, peace and happiness . Is not it ?

    I like so much full figured (BBW) person as their kind and big hearted personality. Yes, most of people does not like fat people and fun with them. But I have pitty on them and I wise to seriously make long terms relationship with big girl. So figured is do not problem for me.

    I do not believe this personal match % system here.I believe complete trust,understanding, commitment, honesty and faith and believe in each other makes a true ever lasting relation and it is great chemistry in conjugal life . I believe in monogamous relationship. Hello, I have never been married persona and 43yrs. old, Business man, Height 5'8", Weight 58kg.

    I have feel to seen your picture in the site that you are a sober personality,family oriented,pleasant looking . I am feeling loneliness and need a woman in my life and who will take care me.I am need a woman not only for sex, need as a friend as my guardian and as one part of my soul.It does not matter for me that we come from different countries, different religion,different color/type, Height and speak different languages. Need only peaceful and happiness life. Built a new home, new life, new family. Where two souls live together with happy life and love each other, take care of each other until to death. We XXX are believe wife is half part of husband soul.And we respect the woman as there are motherhood nature. Our mythology said Women are the supreme power in the Earth.

    I have not any intention to annoy or play game with any body and i do not like to play game with me also.

    If you would like to acquaintance with me as a XXX Person then you can mail me MORE ABOUT YOU. I am waiting for your reply.

    T H A N K Y O U
    Take care

    XXXX
    XXXXX

    ;-))
    mostly 3a/fine/high porosity/low density
    Cleanse: Bosley shampoo and conditioner
    Stylers: Boots Curl Cream, Uncle Funky's Daughter, Curl Keeper
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    amy51373 wrote: »
    I just got the best email ever today though. I about died laughing when I got it. Apparently no one ever told this guy that big girls might be comfortable in their own skin...I've pasted it for everyone's reading pleasure!


    Hello Friend,

    I am sorry for the inconvenience mail to you.

    How are you doing there ? This is XXXX from XXXX.

    I have read your profile in the site, It is very interesting and realism, its very much impressed me. Friend if you have a little time to visit my profile it would pleasure to me. And a sort note from you would be nice.

    As we are a mature person and seriously searching our soul mate for our 2nd half. We are both thirsty for few drop love, peace and happiness . Is not it ?

    I like so much full figured (BBW) person as their kind and big hearted personality. Yes, most of people does not like fat people and fun with them. But I have pitty on them and I wise to seriously make long terms relationship with big girl. So figured is do not problem for me.

    I do not believe this personal match % system here.I believe complete trust,understanding, commitment, honesty and faith and believe in each other makes a true ever lasting relation and it is great chemistry in conjugal life . I believe in monogamous relationship. Hello, I have never been married persona and 43yrs. old, Business man, Height 5'8", Weight 58kg.

    I have feel to seen your picture in the site that you are a sober personality,family oriented,pleasant looking . I am feeling loneliness and need a woman in my life and who will take care me.I am need a woman not only for sex, need as a friend as my guardian and as one part of my soul.It does not matter for me that we come from different countries, different religion,different color/type, Height and speak different languages. Need only peaceful and happiness life. Built a new home, new life, new family. Where two souls live together with happy life and love each other, take care of each other until to death. We XXX are believe wife is half part of husband soul.And we respect the woman as there are motherhood nature. Our mythology said Women are the supreme power in the Earth.

    I have not any intention to annoy or play game with any body and i do not like to play game with me also.

    If you would like to acquaintance with me as a XXX Person then you can mail me MORE ABOUT YOU. I am waiting for your reply.

    T H A N K Y O U
    Take care

    XXXX
    XXXXX

    ;-))

    :lol:

    But I've read this somewhere before.
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    HG's: CJ Daily Fix, Bobeam Cheris Hibiscus shampoo bar, KC Spiral Spritz, Knot Today, CJ Rehab, KBB LL Hair Mask, Cassia, KCCC, oil blend of Avocado, Camellia, Jojoba, & Meadowfoam oils

    SL APL BSL MBL
  • CanItBeChristineCanItBeChristine Posts: 6,343Registered Users
    I have no idea what he's even saying.



    how are you my name is Peter i am 25 and from staten island you are very pretty and i am a aries too i love your profile same here its hard to meet girls bc the last relationship i was in was back 06 to 07 i was ingaged but she cheated on me but will love to get together and talk and get to know each other my spam is THE AGE OF PETER bc i have better on their ok ttyl bye

  • texascurlytexascurly Posts: 1,967Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I got an email yesterday that read:

    The closer I get to you the louder you are


    That's it! His profile was really weird too. He thinks he was a philosopher in his previous life. :laughing9:

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