The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Just curious, what is TMI? People do share personal details on newsgroups. Anyways for the record I didn't think anything was TMI. But I'm just very open in general. 
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    TMI for me - in this context - is just what it means, too much information.  A blow by blow accounting of a date, a person, should I have done this, why didnt he do that, because he did not do this, I did that -.sheesh.  I may be alone in my opinion that that is TMI, but it is for me.  We are not teenagers.  I get the dating at any age can be confusing but it if it THAT confusing - either drop the guy or take a break from dating.   
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    SL, no one is misunderstanding or twisting your words.  You have been very good at describing your dating & relationship problems.  You come off as seeking advice, but when you get it & if you don't like it you get upset.  I'm not here to hurt your feelings.  I care about you & hope that you will make the best decisions with dating.  You come off like you want a serious relationship.  Correct me if I am wrong.  If you just want to have fun have fun & stop getting so upset when you get disappointed.  You are so confusing.  So much drama.  You also get so vile when people disagree with you.  Yes, we are here to talk about our dating experiences, but it isn't all about you & your drama. 



    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2019
    Well??? Come on, ladies! Don't let me down  LOL

  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2019
    SL, no one is misunderstanding or twisting your words.  
    Yes, constantly! :#
    (Paraphrasing)

    Me: i went out w/ this guy over the wknd but I have no interest in seeing him again.
    You: Why are you going out w/ him if you don't like him!?
    Facepalm

    Me: i enjoyed this wknd's date.
    You: you should stop dating if you're not enjoying yourself.
    Facepalm

    Me: He acts this way bc he has Aspergers
    You: Sounds like he's acting this way bc he's a "narcissist."
    Facepalm

    Me: He got in the shower and never saw my text
    You: If someone responded to me in that way, I'd assume he didn't like me
    Facepalm

    You come off as seeking advice, 
    Not seeking advice! 
    In order for me to seek advice, I'd have to consider you an expert or more skilled/ knowledgeable/successful at this than I am. And I don't. I just see us all here as dating.

    I posted here to share stories about meeting men and dating, w/ other women who were doing likewise.

    If someone else, who is also dating and sharing, wanted to comment, dish, chop it up or ask questions, that's fine. But I never wanted a bunch of heavy handed scolding and moralizing. Plz don't even get me started on the "happily marrieds" who can't seem to stay out of the thread and force their opinions. 

    You come off like you want a serious relationship.  Correct me if I am wrong. 
    Yes, I'd like to be in a relationship but only under very specific circumstances. If I don't find exactly what i'm looking for, I'm fine staying single and dating casually. There are several really nice men who want to be in a relationship w/ me and i'm choosing to pass on them. I'm not pressed about it. Nor am I in a rush.

    If you just want to have fun have fun & stop getting so upset when you get disappointed.  
    Why are you assuming I'm disappointed? Or upset? I'm just saying you and the other one are kind of a buzzkill. OMG like two dingleberries hanging off my butt hair every time I post, "you're doing it wrong you're going it wrong you're doing it wrong." :#

    (I do feel a certain amount of frustration trying to navigate the aspergers situation. But that's just the nature of the beast.)

    You are so confusing.  So much drama.  ...Yes, we are here to talk about our dating experiences, but it isn't all about you & your drama. 
    If you felt that way, you shouldn't have read my posts or responded. You can scroll by stuff, you know? Or block me?

    I have no idea what drama you're referring to. I go over to my guy's house and we watch 90 Day Fiance. I go out to eat or catch a movie w/ the other guy. Where is the drama? 

    If I was calling the cops on them, fighting other women over them, introducing my kids to them, giving them money, etc., then I could def see someone intervening but nothing like that goes on in my life.

    You also get so vile when people disagree with you.   
    I'm just an a-hole. You should already know this. (And IDK why you keep saying "disagree.")

    I'm not here to hurt your feelings.  
    I would certainly hope not. This is supposed to be a fun and supportive environment.

    I care about you & hope that you will make the best decisions with dating.  
    Thank you.

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Re-read your posts.  Drama with ex-bf, drama with anyone you go out with, drama at your workplace with co-workers.  I agree with Myrna that you are using this site as your personal blog.  You don't care for any feedback or advice.  So we are dingle berries now.  Yes, Myrna is happily married, but she found her husband online & kissed a lot of frogs before him.  I am dating online.  I have a date Sunday afternoon with a man from POF.  This should be a fun place to share our dating stories.  it's hard to enjoy it with all your drama and the way you react to any feedback.  You have been so rude.  I have always liked you & wanted the best for you.  I am now seeing another side to you that is ugly.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2019
    Josephine said:
    Just curious, what is TMI? People do share personal details on newsgroups. Anyways for the record I didn't think anything was TMI. But I'm just very open in general. 
    Thanks
    LOL It wasn't!
    The Queen Bee is just mad I'm not taking her "advice."

    OMG if ever there was a place where TMI was thrown around, It's Curl Talk. Sometimes after I read some of these posts (not necessarily on this thread), IDK whether to laugh, cry, shower, bleach my eyes, talk to my priest, call my mother or fall into a hole in the ground. :D How is ANYTHING I've ever said on this thread TMI? Yes, I am longwinded. But i'm not the only one. And WHO CARES?! Bypass my posts if you don't want to read them. :#

  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    edited January 2019
    "If someone else, who is also dating and sharing, wanted to comment, dish, chop it up or ask questions, that's fine. But I never wanted a bunch of heavy handed scolding and moralizing. Plz don't even get me started on the "happily marrieds" who can't seem to stay out of the thread and force their opinions. "

    Oh, I guess that means me. Spiderlashes, you got offended volumes back when I suggested that you sounded rather confused.  What you are describing as "heavy handed scolding" is other people reacting to your posts, and your not liking the comments.  Grow up.  You are on a public forum.  No one has called you stupid or immature or any of those things, you just dont like any kind of  reactions you dont agree with.  I see no qualifications here on this thread that one has to be single and dating; it is an open forum.  If you did not insist on shoving me in a box because, I believe, of my age and marital status,  and any other - probably erroneous - assumptions you have about me, you might stand to learn something from some of the older curlies here such as my self and Lotsawaves.  I was on line 10 years ago; do you think it has changed?

    You dont own this page but you comments have monopolized this thread and you get huffy when people say things you dont like.  It would be  helpful for you to learn to say "I dont agree with you but we can agree to disagree" - or something like that- and move on gracefully.  Your last 2 posts were a defensive tirade. Not helpful. 
     
    It is not just that your posts are long winded.  It is that you dont seem to know what you are doing or what you do want.  You drove 30 miles to meet a guy and wondered why you were doing that.  you had a work out "date" with a guy at his  health club (is that a DATE??) where probably all he wanted there was to check out your butt up close and personal; in any case, a DATE is usually where two people go somewhere, do something, and the guy spends a few shekels on her even if it is just a coffee.  The guy with aspergers - clearly not emotionally available, but there are pages and pages of agita about him. Even you questioned why you were doing these things but if any one else did - well, we were mean, old, married, or the latest - dingleberries. 

      If it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt right.   
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Right on, fellow dingleberry.  LOL
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2019
    Myrna said:
    "If someone else, who is also dating and sharing, wanted to comment, dish, chop it up or ask questions, that's fine. But I never wanted a bunch of heavy handed scolding and moralizing. Plz don't even get me started on the "happily marrieds" who can't seem to stay out of the thread and force their opinions. "

    Oh, I guess that means me. Spiderlashes, you got offended volumes back when I suggested that you sounded rather confused.  What you are describing as "heavy handed scolding" is other people reacting to your posts, and your not liking the comments.  Grow up.  You are on a public forum.  No one has called you stupid or immature or any of those things, you just dont like any kind of  reactions you dont agree with.  I see no qualifications here on this thread that one has to be single and dating; it is an open forum.  If you did not insist on shoving me in a box because, I believe, of my age and marital status,  and any other - probably erroneous - assumptions you have about me, you might stand to learn something from some of the older curlies here such as my self and Lotsawaves.  I was on line 10 years ago; do you think it has changed?

    You dont own this page but you comments have monopolized this thread and you get huffy when people say things you dont like.  It would be  helpful for you to learn to say "I dont agree with you but we can agree to disagree" - or something like that- and move on gracefully.  Your last 2 posts were a defensive tirade. Not helpful. 
     
    It is not just that your posts are long winded.  It is that you dont seem to know what you are doing or what you do want.  You drove 30 miles to meet a guy and wondered why you were doing that.  you had a work out "date" with a guy at his  health club (is that a DATE??) where probably all he wanted there was to check out your butt up close and personal; in any case, a DATE is usually where two people go somewhere, do something, and the guy spends a few shekels on her even if it is just a coffee.  The guy with aspergers - clearly not emotionally available, but there are pages and pages of agita about him. Even you questioned why you were doing these things but if any one else did - well, we were mean, old, married, or the latest - dingleberries. 

      If it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt right.   
    The health club guy is the guy w/ aspergers and we're still dating.

    And I said I hadn't realized the other date would be so long a drive...and I would check next time before agreeing. But I learned how to play darts so It was worth it in the end.

    Why are you so concerned ?? Don't you have grandkids to play w/ or someone's prosthetic penis implant to wank off? Goodbye.



  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    edited January 2019
    I am dating online.  I have a date Sunday afternoon with a man from POF.  This should be a fun place to share our dating stories.  it's hard to enjoy it with all your drama and the way you react to any feedback.  You have been so rude.  I have always liked you & wanted the best for you.  I am now seeing another side to you that is ugly.
    Cool. Enjoy your date. 
    Don't worry about me posting about my dating life anymore on here. I won't post anymore unless the pace significantly picks up and there is more give and take.

    Re-read your posts.  Drama with ex-bf, drama with anyone you go out with, drama at your workplace with co-workers.  I agree with Myrna that you are using this site as your personal blog.  
    But you have all the same stuff! And soooooooooo much worse. (You don't really want me to list it all, do you?) Again, why do you care? Why are you policing the board and telling me what I can post? Two ppl asked me for updates on the dating situations when I had not posted about them for a while! (Including Gretchen.) So deal w/ it. 

  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Spiderlashes you are a nasty llttle girl.  And immature.  You cant take any feedback without becoming insulting.  Those are  the only things that are clear from all your exchanges  here.  
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    SL,   Yes, I have posted some very personal things on here but I have been open to any comments or insights given to me.  I have had problems with my children, dealing with several deaths, ending a long term relationship.  This site has been a godsend for me.  There are posters here who have gotten me thru some very difficult times.  I haven't been rude or name calling becuz I disagreed with their advice.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Your posts are also not filled with TMI, a blow by blow accounting of a date, a man, your own behavior, etc. You may decide he is not right for you, and you have done so without having attitude about yourself.  I guess we older gals just dont get it, huh?
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Myrna said:
    Spiderlashes you are a nasty llttle girl.  And immature.  You cant take any feedback without becoming insulting.  Those are  the only things that are clear from all your exchanges  here.  
     :D 

    SL,   Yes, I have posted some very personal things on here but I have been open to any comments or insights given to me.  I have had problems with my children, dealing with several deaths, ending a long term relationship.  This site has been a godsend for me.  There are posters here who have gotten me thru some very difficult times.  I haven't been rude or name calling becuz I disagreed with their advice.  
    Yes, you blathered on for years and years about your shiggity. Crazy nuts WTF did I just read shiggity. So plz stop w/ the self righteousness and worry about your own stuff.




  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    The more you go on being insulting, denegrating and immature, the more you prove that is what you are. 
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Shiggity?  I have blathered on when my father died in my arms on Father's Day.  When my mother died.  When my 2 best friends died.  When my son in law died.  When a 3 1/2 year relationship I was in and engaged ended and he married another woman a few months later.  I appreciate the support that I have had here.  It hasn't been stupid decisions that I have made.  I'm not being self righteous.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What is " shiggity"? Its not even in the dictionary...
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I know.  I tried looking it up & there is no definition.  Not really a word.  Just another slam SL is using.  After I wrote what I did, I said out loud,  "How dare you".  Such immaturity & she is a single mom.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Sorry that I brought up that you are a single mom, but that has been on my mind with the choices that you are making.  Whether you are introducing your men to them or not, I would hope that you would make mature choices & decisions.  You are not a single teenager any more.  You have a big responsibility.  
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
      She wont want to hear that.  She wants to do what she wants, period. And not be questioned. And she has to be right - no matter what.  Us boring old gals know that we dont always have to be right.
  • spiderlashes5000spiderlashes5000 Posts: 17,898Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    Sorry that I brought up that you are a single mom, but that has been on my mind with the choices that you are making.  Whether you are introducing your men to them or not, I would hope that you would make mature choices & decisions.  You are not a single teenager any more.  You have a big responsibility.  
    Yes, mom <eyeroll>

    Again....this is not even slightly appropriate. 

  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    You have not been appropriate, at all.  Yes, I am a mom & I am a grandmother & I am proud of it.  Eye rolling is such a teenager thing.  I rest my case.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    So anyway, back to the actual thread topic.  I have been talking to a man online who lives 90 minutes away from me.  He has his house on the market & is wanting to move here in the valley where he has 3 sons & grandchildren.  We have had many long phone conversations.  We seem compatible.  He is my age, a widower.  His wife died in an auto accident 4 years ago.  He is fine on his own, but would like to have the right woman in his life.  By his pics he is attractive.  Has a fit body & is health conscious.  He loves to cook & likes his morning coffee strong.  His wife never cooked, so he is excited that I love to cook.  I like my coffee strong also.  He is financially stable.  Owns 2 homes & no baggage that I have seen yet.  He is meeting me Sunday.  Will see how it goes.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Keep us posted.
  • LotsawavesLotsawaves Posts: 9,777Registered Users Curl Virtuoso
    I will.
    From Michael Berg:

    Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
  • Guide 65Guide 65 Posts: 1,984Registered Users, Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    Can I remind everyone here to please keep things civil.  We're all adults - please act like it.
    Formerly known as Janiegirl
    2B/2C, fine hair, low density, mixed porosity, protein loving hair
    Current products:
    Changing up my shampoos because I can't find one I like
    Deva Curl One Condition (original formula)
    Innersense I Create Volume
    Deva Curl Ultra Defining Gel
  • Guide 65Guide 65 Posts: 1,984Registered Users, Moderators Curl Virtuoso
    And since I'm here....I suddenly find myself single again.  I'm not ready to start dating yet, but I will eventually.  Can someone give me the lowdown on the current online dating sites?  Tinder, eharmony, POF?  others?  Are there some that are better than others?  I get the feeling that Tinder is more for hookups and eharmony is for marriage-minded people, but maybe that's just marketing.  Any hints or tips?
    Formerly known as Janiegirl
    2B/2C, fine hair, low density, mixed porosity, protein loving hair
    Current products:
    Changing up my shampoos because I can't find one I like
    Deva Curl One Condition (original formula)
    Innersense I Create Volume
    Deva Curl Ultra Defining Gel
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    You probably are correct in your assumptions but many people are on multiple sites, free, paid, makes no difference.  I think what is important on line is that people focus on their VALUES and less so on "common interests" and having fun.  If you are looking for a life partner, you cannot build a life together on "having fun".  I did not use the apps as they were not around when I was dating on line but there is something about the instant gratification nature of them that creeps me out.  
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Didn't read all these yet..but just wanted to say..if you don't like someone's posts or are offended by what they are sharing nor seem to understand the intent, you know you could just ignore their posts :).

    I do think it's a bit close minded to force your(general you) style on someone else.

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