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Going overboard and taking natural hair to the extreme

TheseRCurlsTheseRCurls Posts: 78Registered Users
Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?
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  • rociobutterflyrociobutterfly Posts: 57Registered Users
    Yeah.....I THINK I know which site that is! Hmmm not feeling all that. I heard they have to spell relaxer and perm wrong because the site automatically changes those words to "creamy crack" or something. And I really don't care for that word nappy. I am all about us embracing our hair and all, but that word just never settled well with me. If anyone ever called my hair nappy, that would be it. So although that site is based upon a well founded premise, IMO they do take some stuff too far. That's why I come here instead!:compress:

  • empressriempressri Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    IMHO it's like that because some people read too much into hair types. when you have a lot of women coming from a place of "good hair bad hair" and curly hair is nice, nappy hair isn't, you sort of can see why they try to break everyone out of stereotypes. and let me be real for a second, naturally curly is a FAB board, but err ah, this board wasn't geared towards the majority of the members that occupy that other site if you catch my drift.
    Lady Hasytal in the Land of Product in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    "Trust is knowing your SO would do the right thing in the face of strange vagina." Nej
    [/B]
  • HeatherNicoleHeatherNicole Posts: 1,316Registered Users
    empressri wrote: »
    IMHO it's like that because some people read too much into hair types. when you have a lot of women coming from a place of "good hair bad hair" and curly hair is nice, nappy hair isn't, you sort of can see why they try to break everyone out of stereotypes. and let me be real for a second, naturally curly is a FAB board, but err ah, this board wasn't geared towards the majority of the members that occupy that other site if you catch my drift.


    and that's real talk.
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  • KitathenaKitathena Posts: 1,666Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Although I think it can be too militant sometimes, I do see the need for that board. It is geared more towards "cnapps" . In a world where straight/"good" hair is glorified , maybe there needs to be a place that is purely for those trying to love hair that is not embraced by society.

    I know nappturality played a big part in me coming to love my own hair. I'd like to be a member, but I don't pay to belong to message boards.
    00f0fe4a-6e80-4412-94d4-a8bc465cb7ae_zps1be28d8c.jpg?t=1377261778
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i think its just different on different hair sites. i know i get frustrated over there because sometimes i do feel like its too militant but at the same time im starting to get frustrated with this hair board because i feel like its not militant enough.
    i love how i have different options. at the end of the day each site was created by someone out there who had a vision and either you respect their vision or dont go to their site.
  • cclark1cclark1 Posts: 346Registered Users
    Girl, we all know which site you're talking about. That site is too militant for me. It's just not my cup of tea. But to each it's one. There is something out there for everyone, thank the Lord. There are several hair sites that just don't do it for me. You have to pick and chose which sites you gel with!
    Dare to be......remarkable!!!
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    They spell p.erm that way because if you spelled it the regular way it turns "perm" and "relaxer" into "chemical fire cream"

    I don't like sites that do such censoring. It's simplistic and indicates they don't trust their readership.
    My blog - /home/leaving?target=http%3A%2F%2Fsuburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com%2F" class="Popup
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    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
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  • TheseRCurlsTheseRCurls Posts: 78Registered Users
    They spell p.erm that way because if you spelled it the regular way it turns "perm" and "relaxer" into "chemical fire cream"

    I don't like sites that do such censoring. It's simplistic and indicates they don't trust their readership.

    I know, and to get my point across I re-worded 4A to four A. I'm with you, I don't agree with nor do I like being censored, especially on a message board. 4A hair is not a bad word. Good grief people, it is JUST hair!
  • empressriempressri Posts: 4,812Registered Users

    I know, and to get my point across I re-worded 4A to four A. I'm with you, I don't agree with nor do I like being censored, especially on a message board. 4A hair is not a bad word. Good grief people, it is JUST hair!


    or is it? :wink:
    Lady Hasytal in the Land of Product in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    "Trust is knowing your SO would do the right thing in the face of strange vagina." Nej
    [/B]
  • TLMMMTLMMM Posts: 457Registered Users
    that is a gemini board for me--
    on the one hand I think its great there is a place for people to be able to come together and embrace their hair texture 4 and beyond. also, once you get off the loc board, they give great advice for taking care of your hair and keeping it moisturized. things I need in particular.
    on the other, sometimes its a bit too much and people take things over board. the terms "chemical fire cream" and "hot blazing tool of torture" crack me up to no end. what I don't get is the whole "everyone needs to be nappy vibe" and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.
    I like the site for what it is. I go and complain on occasion, at the end I think there needs to be a nice blend of the two.
  • mariag002mariag002 Posts: 3,557Registered Users
    chemical fire cream? LMAO!!! :laughing7:
    - Maria

    Big Chop: 9/23/07
    Relaxer free for almost 5 years!

  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    i appreciate the intentions and the motivation that the owner had when creating the site. but it almost seemed cultish to me in that women who were only a month or two into membership over there all of a sudden became preachy, as though they'd been chemical-free their whole lives.

    so many people over there forgot that just a few weeks prior, they were in the same boat and had the same hair concerns and hangups as the people they talk down to. and it was pervasive in numerous threads and difficult to avoid. i stepped out of the majority of hair topics and gravitated toward the nonhair boards and eventually stopped logging on. i lurk every once in a while, but i don't go over there much anymore.

    i appreciate women having a new-found love of their God-given hair texture. but i think that excitement and rediscovery causes some people to forget that they used to relax and straighten, they used to be ashamed of new growth showing, they used to use commercial shampoos and styling products, they used to avoid rain and humidity, they used to devote half a day sitting in a salon, etc. how soon, how soon they forget!

    oh, and the censoring drove me crazy. i thought that was inconsiderate to the members and was borderline juvenile.
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • preciousjewel76preciousjewel76 Posts: 679Registered Users
    rainshower wrote: »
    oh, and the censoring drove me crazy. i thought that was inconsiderate to the members and was borderline juvenile.

    It *is* juvenile, IMO. Relaxers aren't the root of all evil. I think referring to them as chemical fire cream is over-the-top. Am I a horrible person because I had one? I certainly don't think so.

    I also don't go over there much anymore, but I think each hair board has it's positives and negatives. I think, overall, that it's great that women of color have all of these forums to choose from to discuss their hair, no matter how they choose to wear it.
    4A - dense, medium strands - APL/BSL - 3+ years natural!

    :love7:YAY!: GF Triple Nutrition Conditioner, YTCu Color Care Conditioner, Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque, LOTD AV Gel, EVCO, JCN&S, KCCC, buns and updos!
  • TLMMMTLMMM Posts: 457Registered Users
    rainshower wrote: »
    i appreciate the intentions and the motivation that the owner had when creating the site. but it almost seemed cultish to me in that women who were only a month or two into membership over there all of a sudden became preachy, as though they'd been chemical-free their whole lives.

    so many people over there forgot that just a few weeks prior, they were in the same boat and had the same hair concerns and hangups as the people they talk down to. and it was pervasive in numerous threads and difficult to avoid. i stepped out of the majority of hair topics and gravitated toward the nonhair boards and eventually stopped logging on. i lurk every once in a while, but i don't go over there much anymore.

    i appreciate women having a new-found love of their God-given hair texture. but i think that excitement and rediscovery causes some people to forget that they used to relax and straighten, they used to be ashamed of new growth showing, they used to use commercial shampoos and styling products, they used to avoid rain and humidity, they used to devote half a day sitting in a salon, etc. how soon, how soon they forget!

    oh, and the censoring drove me crazy. i thought that was inconsiderate to the members and was borderline juvenile.

    ITA with this entire post. Especially the bolded. I have had more than one adventure with the three month in naturals trying to "convert me" and give me "advice" on going natural. Every last one of those adventures ended with the recommendation that I visit that board. meh.
  • KitathenaKitathena Posts: 1,666Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    They spell p.erm that way because if you spelled it the regular way it turns "perm" and "relaxer" into "chemical fire cream"

    I don't like sites that do such censoring. It's simplistic and indicates they don't trust their readership.

    I know, and to get my point across I re-worded 4A to four A. I'm with you, I don't agree with nor do I like being censored, especially on a message board. 4A hair is not a bad word. Good grief people, it is JUST hair!

    It is JUST hair, but it's not really just HAIR.

    I mean, think about it...this is a hair board and there is a deep thread concerning race...wherein people are treated a certain way because of their skin color and hair type.

    I think boards like that are necessary in order to even out things in real life where natural hair is not truly appreciated. Yes, she censors over there and it's kind of "her way or the highway" but everyone knows that before they start out. And despite it being like that, a lot of people still choose to be active there because of the good vibes.

    I look forward to the day when having a relaxer can just be a style that we choose and not such a big deal. But for me, my way of thinking when I had a relaxer was not a good thing.
    00f0fe4a-6e80-4412-94d4-a8bc465cb7ae_zps1be28d8c.jpg?t=1377261778
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  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    Kitathena wrote: »
    I know, and to get my point across I re-worded 4A to four A. I'm with you, I don't agree with nor do I like being censored, especially on a message board. 4A hair is not a bad word. Good grief people, it is JUST hair!

    It is JUST hair, but it's not really just HAIR.

    I mean, think about it...this is a hair board and there is a deep thread concerning race...wherein people are treated a certain way because of their skin color and hair type.

    I think boards like that are necessary in order to even out things in real life where natural hair is not truly appreciated. Yes, she censors over there and it's kind of "her way or the highway" but everyone knows that before they start out. And despite it being like that, a lot of people still choose to be active there because of the good vibes.

    I look forward to the day when having a relaxer can just be a style that we choose and not such a big deal. But for me, my way of thinking when I had a relaxer was not a good thing.[/quote]

    i totally agree with your post.
    i want to say more but i have a feeling it would fall on deaf ears...
  • nickfishnickfish Posts: 63Registered Users
    Just because I stop perming my hair doesn't mean that I am against all "permies", lol. I mean really, who cares. Why does it have to an all or nothing, your either with us or against us kind of deal. When I first decided to go natural and I came across these websites it sort of freaked me out. But to each his own I guess.
    Last relaxer April 1, 2014

    BC - February 2015
  • TheseRCurlsTheseRCurls Posts: 78Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    Kitathena wrote: »
    I know, and to get my point across I re-worded 4A to four A. I'm with you, I don't agree with nor do I like being censored, especially on a message board. 4A hair is not a bad word. Good grief people, it is JUST hair!

    It is JUST hair, but it's not really just HAIR.

    I mean, think about it...this is a hair board and there is a deep thread concerning race...wherein people are treated a certain way because of their skin color and hair type.

    I think boards like that are necessary in order to even out things in real life where natural hair is not truly appreciated. Yes, she censors over there and it's kind of "her way or the highway" but everyone knows that before they start out. And despite it being like that, a lot of people still choose to be active there because of the good vibes.

    I look forward to the day when having a relaxer can just be a style that we choose and not such a big deal. But for me, my way of thinking when I had a relaxer was not a good thing.

    i totally agree with your post.
    i want to say more but i have a feeling it would fall on deaf ears...[/quote]

    I am fully aware of the implications and misconceptions of having natural hair. After having worn all different types of styles, including shaving my head nearly bald three times over, I guess I'm just over what people think or don't think about my hair. To be quite honest, I really don't care whether society appreciates my hair. If I cared, I'd still be wearing a relaxer. I'd rather society appreciate me, the person.
  • jeamariajeamaria Posts: 1,851Registered Users
    ITA kitathena & subbrock. I would like to hear what more you had to say on the topic subbrock; I'm sure it won't fall on deaf ears.

    Personally, I think the nappturality censorship is pretty hilarious; I like the creativity of "chemical fire cream" in place of relaxer. And I can see the point of changing all hair types into "nappy" even though I don't like the word. They're just trying to put across that despite Andre's letter and number combos we all have "nappy" hair; i.e. that naturally frizzy hair type that's been vilified for the past 500 years or so in America and around the world.

    Once we get beyond that, maybe then we can get to the "it's just hair" stage, though I doubt what took so long to break can be fixed anytime soon.
  • keepitmovin2.0keepitmovin2.0 Posts: 653Registered Users
    I have a hard time ragging on NP because I know it helped me along in my early days as a natural. That site provides an excellent support system, great tips and for those who have have the most villified hair types. I don't agree with everything that goes on with the site, but I can definitely understand where the owner's viewpoint.

    ITA, I think the censorship is kinda silly, however, it sort of serves as a constant reminder of the site's mission statement.
    Currently using:

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  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Posts: 15,402Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.

    :laughing6:

    Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

    Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.
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  • empressriempressri Posts: 4,812Registered Users
    and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.
    :laughing6:

    Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

    Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topic of this sort would make it far on NP.


    like we said, np isn't for everyone. people have to go where something works for them. i don't have a problem with their rules because i can understand why they were put there, but if i did have a problem i just wouldn't visit. there is another site that i barely even lurk on because...it just doesn't do it for me.

    to each her own.

    and if it were only hair...this thread wouldn't be posted, hell hair boards wouldn't be in effect, and the hair industry wouldn't be making the millions of dollars that it is. :wink:
    Lady Hasytal in the Land of Product in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
    "Trust is knowing your SO would do the right thing in the face of strange vagina." Nej
    [/B]
  • RMichelleMRMichelleM Posts: 301Registered Users
    i can' stand that hair board. for one, constantly refering to relaxers as "crack fire" or what have you, and disallowing the use of simple words or processes speak volumes of identity issues. ugh....if they luved themselves they wouldn't feel compeled to incite others to feel guilty about what they choose to do...i could go on for pages LOL
    :blob7:fOtKi:blob7:



    i am officially the Kettle; call me Black. thanks.

    I'm better than people who think they are better than others; even though that's hypocritical in itself, im a better kind of hypocrite than others.:wave:
  • KitathenaKitathena Posts: 1,666Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.
    :laughing6:

    Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

    Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.

    I think that you could have that avatar. I think she just doesn't want any black women with straight hair as avatars.

    Anyway I just wanted to add that I feel more comfortable posting here and have posted all of 2 times on nappturality, however, I do lurk there a lot. There is a lot of helpful information.
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  • keepitmovin2.0keepitmovin2.0 Posts: 653Registered Users
    and yet the most revered/stalked fotki's on the site are of women with the 3b/c pattern. jokes.

    :laughing6:

    Yet I went to Long Hair Care Forum and there was a thread of great Fotkis and a lot of them were 4b's with some serious hair.

    Keepitmoving, I'm not ragging on NP, I know it serves a good purpose. But if I were a member, I would be unable to use the avatar I use here because it has straight hair. Mass censorship just doesn't suit my needs. I am also a very inclusive person, and I feel I get stronger in a place where people have strong opinions and are able to express them freely (and respectfully). I doubt a topice of this sort would make it far on NP.

    I feel you suburban. NP is not for everybody. I think it's about retraining the mental, though. It reminds me of when new church recruits become extremist...I usually find myself thinking "who exactly are you trying to convince, me or yourself?"
    Currently using:

    Poo: CON Sulfate Free poo
    Rinse out: Tresemme Naturals
    Leave-in: CJAOO Daily Cond
    Styler: KCCC sparingly and Ampro Olive Oil Gel where needed
    DT: KBB Lucious Locks Mask + EVOO/Avocado
  • celeste821celeste821 Posts: 348Registered Users
    Ok, so I'm on another website, which shall remain nameless, and I respond to a post by describing my hair type as 4A. How about when I submitted my response, the website automatically changed 4A to nappy. Ok...? On this same website I've noticed that when people talk about relaxers and perms, the words are always spelled weird, like p.erm for instance. Now, I understand that the website wants to keep the discussions about natural hair, but to censor a post that describes a hair types is, in my opinion, going a little overboard. What are your thoughts?

    I actually left two other site for kind of the same reason. I had just found out about natural forums and I did a search and found a really popular one, so very happy I dived in. Well let me tell you my head was all but chopped off because I responded to a post about getting her hair straightened for her husband. I said go get it done by the Dominicans and make him happy for the day then wash it. I think I was ostracized after that. It's like bigotry.
  • celeste821celeste821 Posts: 348Registered Users
    rainshower wrote: »
    oh, and the censoring drove me crazy. i thought that was inconsiderate to the members and was borderline juvenile.


    You aint said nothing but a word my posts got deleted so much I felt targeted. On one of the sites I complained about a popular product that a lot of naturals use and it got deleted. One site was new, a sort of sister site to the more popular one, man my posts got deleted more times than the board was in existence. LOL
  • celeste821celeste821 Posts: 348Registered Users
    subbrock wrote: »
    i want to say more but i have a feeling it would fall on deaf ears...

    I wish you would, I feel that at least over hear a conversation could be had without feeling like your about to get the ax.
  • celeste821celeste821 Posts: 348Registered Users
    It reminds me of when new church recruits become extremist...I usually find myself thinking "who exactly are you trying to convince, me or yourself?"


    I feel ya, thats what I was thinking. Then, their was a thread about this woman feeling down because she was turning 40, (I think), and she was thinking about perming. All the advice she got was don't do it, just get a cut and color. Then I started thinking how is color different? If it's ok to color then why not straighten?; it's all the same. I just found that to be hypocritical and it made me think about my decisions.
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