I messed up big time

I messed up big time. My daughter is almost 10 and has been begging to have her hair relaxed and cut short. We have relaxed it one other time and it turned out fine. Well this time I feel like the lady that did it over processed her hair. She was doing a curly perm at the same time. Big mistake, she shouldn't have been doing two patron's hair at the same time. Now my daughter has a tremendous amount of breakage. I mean to the point of big patches. We only wash once a week but it is summer and we have went swimming which means more washing. I also deep condition at least once a week. Someone please tell me she isn't going to lose all her hair. Please! I can't imagine her wearing a wig at 10. It has been 5 weeks and I can see new growth. Could the breakage have peaked by now or can I expect more? We use Tigi Oatmeal & Honey shampoo and conditioner. For deep conditioning I use Biolage conditioning balm left in overnight. We also use Carols Daughter Lisa's Hair Elixer.
I have learned a valuable lesson and that is to teach my daughter to love her curly hair.
I have learned a valuable lesson and that is to teach my daughter to love her curly hair.
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Second, what type of hair does your daughter have? I have 4a/4b hair (I'm currently transitioning from relaxed to natural) and I have lots of experience with relaxers. I have horror stories for days.
Third, exactly what type of damage does she have? Is she suffering from chemical burns, excessive shedding, breakage, or all three?
I'm no hair stylist, but I do consider myself a bit of an expert in relaxers gone wrong (unfortunately), so maybe I'll be able to help ya out if you provide some more info.
I have not witnessed any sores on her scalp so I don't believe she had chemical burns. While she was having it done, I asked her several times if it felt like it was burning. I never noticed any redness or anything like that.
I believe she has breakage as well as shedding. She has kept telling me that her hair felt weird. When I looked at it and felt it then I understand what she was trying to tell me. It felt like her brothers hair after his has been buzzed off. That is when I noticed all the breakage. I knew it had been shedding but never really realized how bad.
Her hair has just changed over that last couple of years. I know it frustrates her because it has gotten harder to take care of. We have tried all sorts of products and even tried using the Curly Girl method. Nothing has helped. She isn't patient enough for braids and always opts for a plain old ponytail. She can't wear her hair down cause it just looks like she has a terrible haircut especially cause the underneath part isn't as curly. I have never found a hairdresser that is any help either.
In fact, the hairdresser I took her to has done another little girl's hair for years and they never had any problems with her.
Thanks for any help you can give!
Stephanie
someone on this forum recommended aphogee treatment. you get it at sallys or on a website. it is a pain, you need to blow dry the product on until very hard, then rinse. it worked !!!!! i was to the point of shaving my head,and this let me keep my hair. i still get monthly cuts of an inch or so,because i am trying to get rid of this relaxed hair, but this treatment saved my hair. after 1 time the difference was amazing. they also have a spray on keriton treatment that i use daily. they are not expensive so it is worth a try. good luck.
CG routine takes time to see results. I myself do a modified routine. I would suggest using a non-sulfate shampoo or washing with a Suave conditioner (has no silicones). Easy DTs for a 10 year old would be to leave almond or olive oil along with conditioner in overnight and rinse out in the morning. And you can use a protien conditioner like Aubrey Organic's GPB once a week. (Be careful though because it's easy to overdo protein. Reduce use if the hair becomes hard once it dries.) Your child's hair will let you know how often you need to wet it, shampoo it.
The damage you described sounds severe so it might take 6 months to a year before her hair returns to normal. For now, find a decent leave-in conditioner (or rinse out one to be left in), trust your instincts before a hairstylist's and stay away from the chemicals until her hair returns to normal.
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
It just drives me nuts that I can't find a hairdresser that will do her hair.
As for the Aphogee, I am sorta scared to try that. Is there another really good protein conditioner that I could deep condition with? Something Sally's might sell?
Thanks for all your help.
Stephanie
BTW, here is a pic of my sweetie with her cute curls! It is a little fuzzy in this pic but she had been playing hard!
The older I get, the less patience I have with cleverness. Thomas Sowell.
Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. Benjamin Franklin.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain.
You can always leave coconut milk on for 20 mins -- while she is in the bath tub -- as a cheap DT.
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
I know it is hard for her to look at me day in and day out as I have board straight hair. Not by choice as I have paid my fair share of money to get those beautiful curls she has! LOL We always want what is on the other side of the fence!
We have started our CG routine again and conditioning like crazy.
Stephanie
BC - February 2015
BC - February 2015
I am totally sympathetic and really understand what you are going through.
My daughter is 5,
in Febuary I noticed her hair was breaking and in really bad condition, I think this was due to using the wrong products and heat on her hair, I have recently taken her for a haircut and now its even worse as they layered it really short on top :sad8: (please read my previous posts for info)
Anyway 2 days ago I started the CG routine on her hair and I'm hoping it will improve her hair (I will let you know!)
I would definatly recommend that you try not to tie it up I know its really hard as they have to have it out of their face for school ect, try headbands,
if you can just to co-wash and be really gentle with it when its wet as this is when it is most vunarable to breakage,
I have a bottle of Nexxus emergancy that I haven't dared to use on her hair!, I have used some on my own hair with really good results, if you want me to send you it I will :toothy7:
http://public.fotki.com/angel6901/
Password; curlygirl
Loving KBB and Kinky Curly!! :love7::
I know it seems tough now but before you know it, her hair will be back to how it once was.
Hang in there!
Stylist: Annah at Phia Salon in Columbus, OH
Shampoo: I rarely use but when I do it is Abba True Shine
Conditioner: ABBA Creme Masque
Leave in: A dime size of ABBA Creme Masque
Style product fall/winter: Two squirts of Jesse Curl Confidient Coils and one two finger scoop of pink boots
Style product spring/summer: KCCC and CK
http://public.fotki.com/curlygurney/
password: easy123