So, my daughter wants to meet me. (with wedding pics 5/7/11



  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Oh, don't worry yourself, it not a bad cry. :)

    Two Virgos eh? Well, yeah, I can see that. I'm a Libra, and she's a Pisces, and I admit I did look up how that would work. Thank you "Secret Language of Birthdays" book.

    I have really enjoyed reading the perspective of the adoptees and adoptive Moms here. I like reading perspectives from all sides of the triad. I hope that understanding the others' POV will help me in getting through all of this.

    Ah, yes I have that book as well ;)

    I see you as a strong and determined and intelligent woman, you will definitely get through this!
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Registered Users Posts: 17,502 Curl Neophyte
    Don't have time for a big post now, but I wanted to let everyone know that it went great! I'm so happy and relieved. There is a pic in my fotki if you want to check. Album name 7/6.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • CynaminbearCynaminbear Registered Users Posts: 4,476 Curl Connoisseur
    I can't wait to hear everything you have to share.
    That's a great picture, and from the smiles on your faces it looks like you're both very happy.
    There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
  • CarrollCarroll Registered Users Posts: 224
    Beeeauttttiful photo of you glad things went well!!!!!!!!!!!:) Can't WAIT to hear the story.
    Say what you mean and mean what you say.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    That is so awesome! I am so glad it went well for you!

    And you two are absolutely beautiful! She looks so much like you!
  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Registered Users Posts: 3,135
    This is great news! You do both look happy, and I can REALLY see the resemblance! The eyes are different, but look at the nose/mouth/chin area. Looking fab, both of you!
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Registered Users Posts: 3,093
    Oh WOW! *sniff, sniff* you two are so beautiful!
    ETA: same gorgeous smile.
  • SigiSigi Registered Users Posts: 2,379
    What a special day, I'm glad it went well! Nice pic too!
  • SuburbanbushbabeSuburbanbushbabe Registered Users Posts: 15,402 Curl Neophyte
    She's very beautiful; that's a lovely photo. Gotta be a watershed moment, I can't even imagine. I'm glad it went well.
    My blog -
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    Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
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  • AngularScienceAngularScience Registered Users Posts: 844 Curl Neophyte
    I've been reading this thread since it was first posted, and that picture of you two really makes me cry. What a wonderful moment.
  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Registered Users Posts: 2,701
    She is so beautiful & you both look very happy. I'm glad it went well.
    AKA lotsawaves
    AKA new2curls
  • internetchickinternetchick Registered Users Posts: 6,191
    Beautiful photo! You two look so sweet together. I am so happy for you RCC.
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    What a great picture. I'm really happy it went well. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Registered Users Posts: 17,502 Curl Neophyte
    Thanks so much ladies. It has really meant a lot to me to have you all to talk to and to lean on.

    My parents and I got there early, so we were sitting outside waiting for them. Mt dad saw her Dad and then I got to see everyone. I started walking towards her, wondering what to do. A handshake seemed a bit weird for a first meeting with your own child. I wanted to hug her, but worried she might be put off. I hugged her anyway, and she returned it without reserve. I got to meet her parents, which was nice too.

    We all got to tell our sides of the story, and I really found it interesting to see everyone view on how the adoption went through. My daughter and I talked and we compared our similar features. Our hands are exactly the same length, and we both have big feet. She thought this was really neat as she has always had people comment on her long fingers and toes. She was happy to see where they came from. It was so surreal having out hands touch like that, they way two people do when comparing hand size. It just felt like so much more...

    We talked about her young life, and about how she felt about growing up as an adoptee. She wondered if I thought about her, and was curious about her circumstances as to how she came about. I think she was worried that I was sexually assaulted and that I gave her up because of that. She also relayed a story about a report she did about adoption. A teacher had alsed her if she ever thought about the possibility that I died giving birth to her. She said that it freaked her out, and her mother told the sotry about how she had come home crying. She talked about the tall jokes she got in early school years, but she laughs about those now.

    I told her about why I gave her up, and how I always wondered about her. It was neat to see that while I always womdered about her on her birthdays, she was wondering about me. It was such a touching moment. The poor server had to come back three times before we were ready because we all kept forgetting to read the menu. We both have a great love of mushrooms, which tickled me.

    It was so werid and really fascinating to see so many of my mannerisms in someone else. I guess that must be something that regular parents get to see, but it really hit me. I would see some of her expressions and movememnts, and it was like seeing a younger me.

    I also liked talking with her parents, and felt something of a bond with her mother. I am glad that her Mom left the evening feeling comfortable and that I wasn't some crazy psycho. We all kept hugging each other so much, it was crazy! I kept thanking her for raising my daughter, and she kept thanking me for having her, lol.

    We had to rein in my Dad a bit as his eager welcome to the family seemed almost overwhelming. I didn't want to scare her off. But, all seemed to take it in stride.

    The funny part was that she was a bit bummed that I had not given her any siblings - she is an only child and wanted siblings.

    We talked abut so much. We were there over three hours, and I could easily have stayed three more. We both seemed reluctant to part. We took a couple of pictures outside. While there, a college friend of hers happened to go by and she called out to him. He came over and she introduced me to him. Essentially, it was "****, I'd like you to meet my biological mother." It was funny and sweet and cute and endearing all at once. It was so wild to be introduced so soon. We have all of each others contact info and we'll be keeping in touch, although we made no concrete pland of when to meet again, although I'm sure we will.

    I have her permission to let her birth father know. I haven't spoken to him in about 5 years, and he is in Atlanta now. I need to contact him soon.

    We even had a cute hair story. I spent lots of attention on my hair today. I was so worried about it since the dew point is up. I must have put enough [buylink=]KCCC[/buylink] in to tame a lion. I had seen pics of her, all with straight hair. So, lo and behold, she shows up looking 2b-ish. I was surprised, but happy to see that some of my curly genes got passed on. She was saying how worried she was about her hair becuase her flat iron had died that morning. We had a good laugh about how we both we fussing so much over our hair.

    I also find it interesting to see how much my hair dye resembles her natural color. That was weird.

    I am sooooo happy that we got to meet. It really helped clear up years of "what happened."
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Registered Users Posts: 3,135
    Awww RCC I admit I teared up. But don't worry it wasn't a bad cry :D

    What a wonderful story. I'm so glad you didn't die giving birth, lol.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    That was amazing and I am sitting here crying good tears for you! I am so glad it worked out so well for you!

    You must feel elated. It's great you got along and even had a bond with her adoptive mother. I also thought it was funny you both were so worried about your hair!

    Glad it was a good time all round! :compress:
  • j'adorej'adore Registered Users Posts: 1,966 Curl Neophyte
    My goodness. Such a sweet story. I'm glad things went so well.

    "Don't play me...I'm over 30, and I don't smoke weed"

  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Registered Users Posts: 17,502 Curl Neophyte
    Lol, poor girl, it really freaked her out.

    Her Mom was bragging about her daugher, which she should. She had said that she does well meeting people and that people tend to like her right away, which seems true, she is friendly and seems geniune. What was nice though, was when the Mom said, "I can see that she must have gotten this from you." That was really sweet, and I had to attribute a good deal of it to her upbringing.

    It was interesing when she talked about how my choice and her being an adoptee has put her in the pro-life camp, and I talked about how my experience put me in the pro-choice camp. Nothing got even close to heated, and we could each see why we had our views. I could totally see why an adoptee would take an anti-abortion POV. Her Dad and I have the same views in that regard, and he said that the two of them often debated it, but he said it in such a way to make me think that although they may get heated, they aren't holding it against each other.

    It was so sweet that she didn't want to ask about her birth father because she was worried about hurting my feelings in case her whole conception and birth had a bad history.

    Really, I just wanted to keep hugging her. I kept having this goofy grin all evening.
    Kiva! Microfinance works.

    Med/Coarse, porous curly.
  • SunshineGrrlSunshineGrrl Registered Users Posts: 3,823 Curl Neophyte
    Awww...I cried, too! This is such a good story! I'm so glad that everything worked out great and she really did end up with some curls. Did you convince her to keep it curly? If anybody can do it, you can!

    It's amazing how mannerisms can come down through genetics. I always considered them a learned trait, not inherent. Interesting.

    I'm so happy that things went well for you and that it was a good experience! Hooray!

  • KeeweeKeewee Registered Users Posts: 1,376 Curl Neophyte
    RCC!!!! I am so happy things went well for you and you were able to meet your daughter and see for yourself how beautiful and happy she turned out..And you could put your mind at ease knowing how well her life is turning out. Its such an amazing story...

    By the way you both look beautiful.....
    3A some 3b Total Product Junkie
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Registered Users Posts: 5,398
    Wonderful picture and even more beautiful and powerful story. I am so happy for you :) What an incredible gift you gave each other!
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • CurliLocksCurliLocks Registered Users Posts: 10,573 Curl Connoisseur
    Wow, I can also see all the similarities! :D She is beautiful, just like you. I'm so happy that everything went so well. What a great story. :) I'm glad you were able to see similarities in traits as well; as parents we do get to see that, so I'm glad you had the chance too. I hope you do get the chance to know each other better and be part of each others' lives, the whole family. What a blessing for all of you.
    SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring" :D
    3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
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  • 2poodles2poodles Registered Users Posts: 2,485 Curl Connoisseur
    I'm so happy for you, RCC! And for your whole extended family! I'm such a sucker for happy endings, although this is more like a happy middle, isn't it? What a blessing for both of you that she was raised by good people. I sure hope you're printing out and saving copies of your posts here - it's such a beautiful, beautiful story....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]2Poodles :flower: Southeast PA
    fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
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  • LilahLilah Registered Users Posts: 916
    This story was so touching-- I'm glad it worked out so well for you. The picture is beautiful:)
  • medussamedussa Registered Users Posts: 12,993
    Amazing story, RCC. There is so much that lies ahead for you both. I am truly happy for you.
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Registered Users Posts: 3,093
    RCC, what a wonderful evening! I'm so glad it went well, bless you for you strength and your courage. Thank you for sharing this close, personal experience with us.
  • VanedaVaneda Registered Users Posts: 402
    This really is such a wonderful story and I am so glad the meeting went well.
    2/b-2/c - I shampoo daily with non-sulfate shampoos - right now am *loving* L'Oreal Everpure shampoo and conditioner
    For styling: homemade flax seed gel, Curl Keeper, and/or KCCC
    Current favorite product: *KCCC*!!

  • KaiaKaia Registered Users Posts: 8,815 Curl Connoisseur
    What a beautiful story! I am so happy for you, and now I want to hug you. :) She's a beautiful girl and she does look a lot like you. What an amazing experience!
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,060 Administrator
    Thank you so much for sharing that wonderful story with us. I am glad that everything went well. She does look like you!
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Posts: 10,904 Curl Connoisseur
    Oh RCC, what a wonderful story! So glad it went well :toothy7:
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn

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