So, my daughter wants to meet me. (with wedding pics 5/7/11

I've brought it up before, but just to fill in for those who don't know -
I had a child in high school when I was 17 and put her up for adoption. She is now 21.
So, now to current events in that regard.
Her father (adoptive, not birth) called my Dad and said that she want to meet me. My Dad called me and we talked, and now my daughter has my phone number.
I'm nervous and excited and God knows what all else. I'd love to meet her and see how her life is, but I don't want to butt in or to try and take on a mother role. She already has a mother.
I had a child in high school when I was 17 and put her up for adoption. She is now 21.
So, now to current events in that regard.
Her father (adoptive, not birth) called my Dad and said that she want to meet me. My Dad called me and we talked, and now my daughter has my phone number.
I'm nervous and excited and God knows what all else. I'd love to meet her and see how her life is, but I don't want to butt in or to try and take on a mother role. She already has a mother.
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(((hugs)))
Let her lead...
Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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Thanks!
Yes, I do intend to let her lead on this.
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
I feel that I can deal if she just wants to meet once. I'm sure she must have questions. The harder part, to me, is deciding what type of contact afterwards. I just would feel weird trying to jump into her life after so long. Heck, I guess I just to make it to that first meeting and she how it goes.
All I know so far is that she wants me and my parents to meet with her and her parents at a restaurant local to her. That is fine, and she should at least feel safer having her parents with her.
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
As you said, she already has a mother-figure, but everyone can use another role model or someone to confide in.
I absolutely agree with this post.
Also, I want to say that it sounds really exciting for you to meet her and I hope it is an enjoyable experience for both of you. Thanks for sharing news of it with us.
(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
I can't really relate as I've always known my birth mom. I don't even know how to describe my relationship to her. It's a unique blend of family and friendship. Although lately it's been leading itself more to family, as I have cut off contact with my adopted family. It's a slow process but it feels right for both to us.
I hope you too can find just the right spot with her as well.
we have a semi-open adoption, and his folks asked me a few years ago whether i'd be open to the idea of meeting him, so they'd know what to tell him if he ever asked. i hope we get the chance someday. i'd be just as nervous as you are right now!
i agree with the advice to let her lead. you guys will be just fine.
(i have tears in my eyes right now).
m
modified cg
I had been hoping to meet her, but really didn't expect to hear from her so soon. I guess I just thought that if she didn't try at 18, she'd wait until a lot older.
I am glad that her parents will be there, and also mine. I think it'll help with awkward moments, and she'll have support with her.
Interestingly my father and her father had a working relationship together before my Dad retired. Her father ended up working with a handful of my relatives, so it's sort of odd. Her father is now seeing mannerisms in his daughter that he attributes to family members of mine that he knows. Well, that's what happens when growing up in a not-so-large town in West Virginia. Six degrees of separation indeed. Of course, this is all related by what my dad just told me as he just got off of the phone with her dad.
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
fine, med porosity, normal elasticity
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I think you're brave.
Good luck & I hope everything goes well......it is truly a life changing experience!!!!!!!:)
ITA.
...It's a siggie. :shock:
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
you are no way the age that the math adds up to!
seriously you are way way younger loooking than your age!
i thought you were my age (or younger and i am 25!)
rock on with your hot self!
3B just past BSL in back (when curly)
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I agree with the others that think its a great idea to have everyone there. It should keep the awkward moments to a minimum, especially with the Dads knowing each other already. Plus, you two can always go for a walk if you want some alone time together!
Audrey Hepburn
P/Wmarissa
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No. I prefer being the Aunt to being Mom.
It has been great to see suck support here. Thanks ladies!
Med/Coarse, porous curly.
I don't know the situation, but I can say with confidence, your daughter isn't looking for a replacement mom, aunt, or even extended family. She's searching her roots to define herself in this very pivotol part of her life. Mom and Dad will always be Mom and Dad, but seeing your eyes, your hair, your body type, your mannerisms, etc... that familiarity is very powerful. It's comforting to know you weren't hatched out of an egg.
You gave her an incredible gift. Two, in fact. Life, and a fighting chance to thrive.
Good luck and good thoughts being sent your way for the reunion!
YES EXACTLY!!! Thanks Meryn.....you put into words exactly how I felt/feel.