Ladies who didn't change their last names...

If you married (or didn't) but have a child with someone with a different last name, did you hyphenate your child's (children's) name? I say we are going to and my husband thinks the kid should just carry his name. I told him I'm not going to fight about it but my child is going to carry my name too, end of story. Just wondering what others did.

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I still don't have everything carried over in both names.
Hubby was intense about me not hyphenating my name, so, after 14 yrs, I still have stuff in both...
As for the little one.....First name is a family name on both sides, middle is one side & last is another side.... I don't know why men tend to get hung up on this.....
I have one diploma in my maiden name..one will be in both......my social is in both & so is my DL..:dunno:
btw..have you made choices on what you will do depending on the sex & will you find out the sex?
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Anyway...it works fine for us. We use husband's name socially, like when we need to be named as a family for something, but that's it.
One thing my BIL does to make sure the kids have his name is he's the one who fills out the birth certificate and SSN paperwork. I wouldn't put it past my sister to do whatever she wants to do.
Our son due in august will probably only have his father's name ,I'm not too excited about that but I promised .
But it could cause some confusion here in the US, since people usually put the mother's name first here if they use both.
I definitely wanted the baby to have my last name somewhere too. Can you put your last name as a middle name? E.g. Firstname Yourlastname Hislastname. Or you can put your last name, then his, with no hyphen and your child can choose whether to use both names or not. E.g. Firstname Middlename Yourlastname Hislastname.
Personally, I think hyphenated names complicate things.
I think he's kind of bummed because although his last name is very common, he's the last in his line, in his family at least. He does seem to be coming around to my point of view.
I do think that hyphenating is too complicated, but I also like the Spanish way of doing things, but
if I used it his last name would just become the middle name. 4 names might be a bit too much for me.
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first middle hispaternal mypaternal
(i use both my maternal and paternal, which, as iris mentioned, is typical in latin culture)
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DS's First Name is one we both liked - Evan
DS's Middle Name is a family name from SO's family
DS's Last Name is the same as mine..as per SO's recommendation. Because DS and I look so different, SO thought it would make my life easier (travelling, medical etc etc) if DS and I had the same last name.
If I could do it all over again, I would have added SO's last name as DS's second middle name (fortunately, SO's last name can also be a first or middle name).
What was really odd and some thing I didn't think about was that when I had Elli, they wanted to put my last name on the crib, and I had to ask them not to, because it's MY EX'S LAST NAME!!!
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This is what we did, except with my maiden name, since I chained my last name to DH's when we got married.
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I thought about using my last name as her middle name but in the end, I thought that might make things even more complicated for her if she eventually decides to get married.
Eventually, I will probably just add his last name after mine (we've only been married ten years) and keep all my names and if she's old enough, we can ask her if she wants to put my last name in there somewhere.
Our daughter has my last name as her middle name. the only reason she doesn't have a hyphenated last name is because my husband's last name is 12 characters long.
If I have a girl I will push for his last name to be first and then mine....
There were two options when we got married. I keep my last name or we both change to a totally different last name (we would have used my husband's middle name as it can be a last name too). He almost agreed to this but then decided he didn't want to change his name. So hence, I also kept mine.
I don't really want to get into why it is so important for the kid to have my name too but there are family issues and issues with my husband's last name and his father that lie very deep and are too personal for a message board. Thank you to everyone who gave their input. At least it lets me know what is being done with other children.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Hahaha!!! :laughing7:
On another note, I had no idea how common it was to add mom's and dad's last names to a child's name. I guess it works out with one last name being prominent socially and on paperwork, and the other name just hangs out on the birth certificate???
i heard of a couple doing this. they actually created the new name when they got married. i'm sure their kids will have their new name. different but interesting.
do you think if the woman never changes her name and all the kids and the hubby have the same last name it's like mom isn't part of the team?
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I am a bit slow...did you two create a new last name to be the new family name? how can you have the same last name if you both took each other's last name? Wouldn't you have just switched names?
Does your name read like this?
Firstname OriginalLastName HusbandsLastName CreatedFamilyLastName
For me culturally they are both his names and I intend for him to use both when he signs his name.