Its not retarded!...Is it?

FluffykinsFluffykins Registered Users Posts: 54
Phone coversation between me and my best friend a few minutes ago:

Me: Yeah I don't even know why I have a brush. The only time I ever really use it is when I'm being stupid around you guys.
Her: Thats because your retarded. You look 125% better when you brush it.
Me: No I don't! its all frizzy and poufy and stuff..
Her: Yeah, well when you wear your hair curly you look stupid! It looks like you did a bad diy job with a curling iron. And then slept on it. For about three days- no, a week. It just looks retarded and you need to brush it.

So I then I got to lookin in the mirror and realized that it accually did look kinda slept on...even though it wasn't. And then I brushed it and, well, you get the picture. I'm still crying now but she doesn't know it. And this is comming from somebody who always said she liked my curly hair...:sad8:
...2c...3a...3b...BINGO!!!

Hilighing Junkie. Soon to be pink.

My HG will: volumize, moisturize, define curls, create major shine, contatin protine, eleminate any and all frizz, give me root curl, have slight hold with no crunch, make my hair grow faster, and be in mousse form. Is that so much to ask? Oh, and it would be nice if the container did tricks for me...

Comments

  • AngularScienceAngularScience Registered Users Posts: 844 Curl Neophyte
    Oh, that was mean! I'm not sure what gets into us (and by "us", I mean society) about criticising people's appearances.
  • CurlyEyesCurlyEyes Registered Users Posts: 2,983
    This girl is a total *****. Seriously. If I were you, I would never talk to her again.

    I hate the use of retarded, because that is a serious condition. Not nice.:angry7:

    But most of all, no one with any sort of manners or tact should ever be that mean. EVER. There is no excuse. Don't start doubting yourself because she said that. It makes me so mad when people say things like you need to brush it. It's your hair.
    made up of 98.822% silliness!!

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  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Registered Users Posts: 3,135
    I also dislike the use of this insult. So let's rack em up. Insulting your hair for no reason: klassy. Marginalizing the entire community of people with developmental delays: triple klassy.
  • thebaydestrianthebaydestrian Registered Users Posts: 45 Curl Neophyte
    Yeah, looks like your friend was sippin' on some Haterade. Love your curls! She's probably jealous, especially since she's always said she liked your curls.
    3A (my hair is pretty darn short now though)

    I shampoo every 3 days, condition everyday, and co-wash with Suave Naturals Coconut once in every 3 day shampooing cycle. I also use BioInfusions, the Leave-In Conditioner everyday.

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  • AmdaAmda Registered Users Posts: 251
    SLAP HER.
    Ok, so maybe that's not the best idea...but I pretty much ditto everything that CurlyEyes said. Particularly about the disgusting use of the word 'retarded'...not cool. Ever.
    I'm sure that your hair is awesome :)
    Fine and thin 2C in Australia
  • FluffykinsFluffykins Registered Users Posts: 54
    Thanks guys. Looking at it now it sounds like she was in one of her random bad moods and needed something to take it out on, she normaly does't tell you what she doesn't like about you to her face.

    I think the bad iron job thing is because I have more than one hair type, and I guess the slept on thing is because its so humid here you can never prevent all the frizz, but idk.
    ...2c...3a...3b...BINGO!!!

    Hilighing Junkie. Soon to be pink.

    My HG will: volumize, moisturize, define curls, create major shine, contatin protine, eleminate any and all frizz, give me root curl, have slight hold with no crunch, make my hair grow faster, and be in mousse form. Is that so much to ask? Oh, and it would be nice if the container did tricks for me...
  • AmandacurlsAmandacurls Registered Users Posts: 6,252 Curl Neophyte
    Next time she starts talking to you like that just hang up on her. Let her know you will cut her off if she continues to act that way. I wouldn't ever speak to her again actually because she's not a true friend.
  • figiwater9figiwater9 Registered Users Posts: 79
    CurlyEyes wrote: »
    This girl is a total *****. Seriously. If I were you, I would never talk to her again.

    I hate the use of retarded, because that is a serious condition. Not nice.:angry7:

    But most of all, no one with any sort of manners or tact should ever be that mean. EVER. There is no excuse. Don't start doubting yourself because she said that. It makes me so mad when people say things like you need to brush it. It's your hair.


    well, I agree that this girl is a *****!

    but, the use of "Retarded" doesnt bother me. Its not the name of the condition. They can have down syndrome, or be autistic, or something like that. the definition of retarded, basically, is "hinderd". So the use of the word retarded does not insult people who are, by societies terms, "Retarded"
    I'm mostly a 3b-c, with a bit of everything else thrown in.
    I'm 17 years old.
    SL when dry.
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  • MintMint Registered Users Posts: 1,143 Curl Neophyte
    That's terrible! Anyone who says things like that (especially a "friend") is a total loser. I'd be crying too. Don't waste your time pleasing her. I hope she apologizes soon.
    2a/M-C/ii hair. Super long.
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Registered Users Posts: 5,000
    You might want to rethink who you call your friend... your "best" friend, no less.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
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    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
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  • UTgalUTgal Registered Users Posts: 320
    WTF? Oh wow. I'm sorry, that was really rude imo.

    ((hugs))
    2c w/a bit of 3a
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    bioInfusion the Gentle One Shampoo
    Currently loving:
    Deva ArcAngell
    Deva Set it Free

    Curly since 6/17/2008.
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    http://public.fotki.com/UTgal/
    PW: browncurls
  • notegalnotegal Registered Users Posts: 560
    Fluffykins wrote: »
    Phone coversation between me and my best friend a few minutes ago:

    Me: Yeah I don't even know why I have a brush. The only time I ever really use it is when I'm being stupid around you guys.
    Her: Thats because your retarded. You look 125% better when you brush it.
    Me: No I don't! its all frizzy and poufy and stuff..
    Her: Yeah, well when you wear your hair curly you look stupid! It looks like you did a bad diy job with a curling iron. And then slept on it. For about three days- no, a week. It just looks retarded and you need to brush it.

    So I then I got to lookin in the mirror and realized that it accually did look kinda slept on...even though it wasn't. And then I brushed it and, well, you get the picture. I'm still crying now but she doesn't know it. And this is comming from somebody who always said she liked my curly hair...:sad8:

    I have to agree with others and say that was totally mean and uncalled for. Good friends or even best friends don't say things like that. I'm sorry that she said that to you. <sending sympathetic hugs>
    "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for."
    Ernest Hemingway


    CG since June 15th, 2008:dog::love5::elephant:
    3b very thick hair with very kinky (possibly 3c) curls underneath
    Went Deva Care line beginning
    September 23, 2009
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  • Blood_RedBlood_Red Registered Users Posts: 49
    Wow... you call her a friend?
    UK CG since May 2008! :sunny:
    * Original Source conditioner
    Evidently trying not to be a junkie. :cyclops::angel11:

    :blob7: <- I am ALWAYS like this!
  • ArtemidaArtemida Registered Users Posts: 48
    Wow. This is no best friend. If people cannot accept you, for who you are, curls included then they are not worth your time. What she said would make me cry too. She needs to apologize. I'm quite sure she is jealous.
    Type: Very Soft 3b w/ 3a/3c thrown in
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    Natural: Oct 2007

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  • mddermmdderm Registered Users Posts: 61 Curl Neophyte
    That was a little uncalled for. Maybe she didn't realize she hurt your feelings? Its not right for someone to say something mean like that about your hair especially your best friend. If you feel your hair looks like its slept on, try this technique that I always use- it really works well to define my curl and makes it bouncy and gorgeous and I love it. Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7z1auvsAj0 , there are 4 parts. I have 3a/3b hair.
  • Jess2316Jess2316 Registered Users Posts: 617
    Fluffykins wrote: »
    Thanks guys. Looking at it now it sounds like she was in one of her random bad moods and needed something to take it out on, she normaly does't tell you what she doesn't like about you to her face.

    I think the bad iron job thing is because I have more than one hair type, and I guess the slept on thing is because its so humid here you can never prevent all the frizz, but idk.


    Don't make excuses for her! It doesn't matter if she's in a bad mood, she has no right to take it out on you. It's not ok and it's not an excuse and you need to tell her it's unacceptable, call her out on it and let her know you're no pushover. Something like hey you know what? That stuff you said about my hair the other day really hurt my feelings and I know you were in a bad mood or whatever but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on me. I am always willing to talk to you about whatever is bothering you but you cannot treat me that way...or something like that! :)

    You just have to flat out tell her that it's not appreciated, otherwise she'll just think it's ok and do it again and again, it's no way to treat people in general, especially a friend.

    I know it's hard to just say ok one bad experience and this girl is no longer a friend of mine, but I think if you tell her exactly how you feel and how you expect to be treated, and she does it again (or something like it) THEN you know she's not a friend.
    3a fine hair (I think)

    CoN poo and Biolage Conditioning Balm
    I love CK and B&A gel...I like HETT Mousse
  • RawrSallyRawrSally Registered Users Posts: 1,388
    What a jerk! I'm so sorry someone said that to you.
    I don't think I would have let that slide. If a "friend" of mine said that to me, they would hear some choice words. Even if I had slept on it.
    I'm sure she's just jealous, don't listen to her.
  • Shooting StarShooting Star Registered Users Posts: 167
    She's just jealous. I don't know why she would say it's retarded. Mental illness is a serious condition and it has nothing to do with someone's natural hair texture. If I were you, I would tell her off. If she was your true friend, she wouldn't say anything like that to you, period. It's just irrational how she even started to say talk to you like that in the first place. She's just jealous. You don't need jealous people in your life.
    I Love Epic Men...
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  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Registered Users Posts: 3,465
    I'm sorry she was so mean to you. (((hugs)))

    Next time she comes over to visit, try beating her over the head with that brush, and then throw it away. :wink:
  • Curlie LocksCurlie Locks Registered Users Posts: 40
    What a b****!! If I were you I would never talk to her again! She doesn't seem like a very good friend! Then again she could be envious!!!
    3a/b Miii
    Good Elasticity
    Long Hair(Half Way Down back when curly)

    :toothy2:

    I am a dimpled curly haired lunatic! :fish:

  • mrl234mrl234 Registered Users Posts: 548
    Seriously, it's not healthy to have friends that are that disrespectful and mean towards you about anything. It's not like hair is something to break up a friendship over, but that kind of disrespect and disregard for your feelings DEFINITELY is. Tell her that, and say that you really can't have a friend in your life that treats you that way...especially about something like your natural hair type, which shouldn't be causing that violent of a reaction anyway.
    :happy10:
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    Olive oil DTs, honey rinses in the summer :)
  • j-jill. j-jill. Registered Users Posts: 147
    mrl234 wrote: »
    Seriously, it's not healthy to have friends that are that disrespectful and mean towards you about anything. It's not like hair is something to break up a friendship over, but that kind of disrespect and disregard for your feelings DEFINITELY is. Tell her that, and say that you really can't have a friend in your life that treats you that way...especially about something like your natural hair type, which shouldn't be causing that violent of a reaction anyway.
    I have to agree with a lot of people who have similar posts like mrl234's.
    Tell the little bugger off, and if she does it again , you should reconsider if she's what you want to call a "best friend", even "friend".
    Hair Type: 2b/2c (:



  • rockthecurlzrockthecurlz Registered Users Posts: 910
    You said it was coming from someone who use to say she liked your curls? Sounds like someone has turned jealous. Why else would someone that had admitted to liking your hair say something hurtful? To do just that....make you want to not like your curls. Forget about what she said. I don't think she was being honest.
  • PrettyPorcupinePrettyPorcupine Registered Users Posts: 258
    the definition of retarded, basically, is "hinderd". So the use of the word retarded does not insult people who are, by societies terms, "Retarded"

    No, the term "metntally retarded" was the term used to refer to the developmentally disabled, not mentally ill. The other term used was "Mongoloid." Would you be OK with calling someone a Mongoloid?

    It's true that the dictionary definition of "retarded" is "hindered" or "slowed," but we ALL know that that's not its colloquial use. Do you look at your garden and say "That plant could use some fertilizer, its growth looks rather retarded"? No, you don't. Do you say "My hair is not growing as fast as it should, it must be retarded." No. Nobody talks that way.

    Using "retarded" to refer to someone who's stupid, or to insult someone for some other reason, is in fact deeply offensive. There are much better words you can use; English is a rich language filled with many alternative ways to express yourself.
    Modified CG. You'll pry my 'cones from my cold dead fingers! Mixed waves, coarse, below shoulder length, dark brown. I hate my hair :evil: but I'm trying to learn to accept it.

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  • PrettyPorcupinePrettyPorcupine Registered Users Posts: 258
    Insulting your hair for no reason: klassy. Marginalizing the entire community of people with developmental delays: triple klassy.

    Perzactly.
    Modified CG. You'll pry my 'cones from my cold dead fingers! Mixed waves, coarse, below shoulder length, dark brown. I hate my hair :evil: but I'm trying to learn to accept it.

    Gels: LA Looks Wet Look Styling Gel, Garnier Fructis Wet Shine Gel. Condish: Alberto V05 Free Me Fresia, Tresemme' Flawless Curls, LVPNG, Neutrogena Triple Moisture. Shampoo: Tresemme' Flawless Curls. Silicone Serum: Whatever is on sale, but I don't leave home without it.
  • AlannahAngelAlannahAngel Registered Users Posts: 529
    That was so mean of your friend. Maybe she was in a bad mood but true friends don't say that. Everyone's hair is there own business. A brush is an ugly, bad hair day influencing, pointless invention that curly hair ppl like us don't need in our hair routine. She doesn't have control over your hair but you do and you don't have to brush it if you don't want to. Even on my bad hair days if someone says my hair looks terrible I just say to myself 'hey I'm rocking what God gave me if you don't mind' and I just say who cares, mind your own business. And btw she must be retarded if she thinks 125% is even possible, tell her to go back to math class
    ~ BIG *sexy* CURLS ~
    ~~~
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