Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

1679111216

Comments

  • JohariJohari Posts: 673Registered Users
    Ya I rarely compliment a girl even if she has alsome curls...if I'm jealous I can't really give it with a smile I give more of a dirty look so it kind of looks like I'm lying.
  • rmc2rmc2 Posts: 349Registered Users
    I am black and I have 4a hair. You cannot imagine the negative comments i get or remarks like "oh, you don't relax your hair?". And most of the time, it is from other black women. I get a majority of compliment about my hair from white ladies more so than black ladies. Even my own husband once tok me he was ashamed of me with my new natural hair. He immediately apologized but the remark came from his mouth and was a reflection of how he felt about kinky hair. Oh well! I don't care because I love myself and my hair, and I know I look good. O)
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352864402.026349.jpg
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    This is really sad. I remember when many African American women wore 'fros, and it was a statement at many levels. I have also read about, and heard about, hair as an "issue"; at the beauty school near where I live, one woman told me she could not remember a time when her hair was not ironed. Its as if we can never be good enough as women.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    rmc2 wrote: »
    I am black and I have 4a hair. You cannot imagine the negative comments i get or remarks like "oh, you don't relax your hair?". And most of the time, it is from other black women. I get a majority of compliment about my hair from white ladies more so than black ladies. Even my own husband once tok me he was ashamed of me with my new natural hair. He immediately apologized but the remark came from his mouth and was a reflection of how he felt about kinky hair. Oh well! I don't care because I love myself and my hair, and I know I look good. O)
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352864402.026349.jpg

    You shouldn't care what others think. I stopped caring long ago myself what others think. You know what's funny is that on a few ocassions I have complimented African-American women on their curly and in some cases kinky hair. The look on their faces is priceless. And I mean that in a good way. I guess hearing it from a white male is not something they would anticipated but I guess the "who" part is immaterial. Your hair is gorgeous and don't let anyone tell you different.:)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    rmc2 wrote: »
    I am black and I have 4a hair. You cannot imagine the negative comments i get or remarks like "oh, you don't relax your hair?". And most of the time, it is from other black women. I get a majority of compliment about my hair from white ladies more so than black ladies. Even my own husband once tok me he was ashamed of me with my new natural hair. He immediately apologized but the remark came from his mouth and was a reflection of how he felt about kinky hair. Oh well! I don't care because I love myself and my hair, and I know I look good. O)
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352864402.026349.jpg

    That must have been painful coming from your husband but I'm glad you know you look good :iconbiggrin: Not that it's necessary, but I wouldn't be surprised if he comes around and starts liking or loving your magnificent 4a curls (Your hair is just gorgeous). (And sorry, but chemically straightened curly or coily hair? :pukeleft: ... Looks and feels all kinds of wrong to me. Did it for years and what a mistake.)
  • Knotty_MaddyKnotty_Maddy Posts: 518Registered Users
    rmc2 wrote: »
    I am black and I have 4a hair. You cannot imagine the negative comments i get or remarks like "oh, you don't relax your hair?". And most of the time, it is from other black women. I get a majority of compliment about my hair from white ladies more so than black ladies. Even my own husband once tok me he was ashamed of me with my new natural hair. He immediately apologized but the remark came from his mouth and was a reflection of how he felt about kinky hair. Oh well! I don't care because I love myself and my hair, and I know I look good. O)
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352864402.026349.jpg

    I'm a Native Indian chick and I love your hair! lol! It's *gorgeous* - I cannot understand why anyone of any race would not be proud to sport their hair as it is. Such beautiful, beautiful curls - I am envious ;)

    Besides, being the race I am, I am supposed to have straight black hair, apparently - everyone tells me this ;p who cares? I have brown curly hair, and I am proud of it! I love my curls and I am so grateful my hair is not straight! Stereotypes - who needs 'em! :cyclops:
    Finer, mixed with coarser strands, low-porosity, wavy curly whirly hair...3A, 2C hair. Medium thickness, medium elasticity.
    S-shaped hair with corkscrew ends. My hair is even more confused than me ;p
    My hair officially hates protein ;) Once a month is enough!
    Currently a fan of TiGi products, (rock on, TiGi Curlesque styling creme!) but that will soon change - I am a self-avowed product junkie! Yay! :D
    BIG fan of supersoaker method - thanks Rudeechick!
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ImageUploadedByCurlTalk1352864402.026349.jpg[/QUOTE]

    That must have been painful coming from your husband but I'm glad you know you look good :iconbiggrin: Not that it's necessary, but I wouldn't be surprised if he comes around and starts liking or loving your magnificent 4a curls (Your hair is just gorgeous). (And sorry, but chemically straightened curly or coily hair? :pukeleft: ... Looks and feels all kinds of wrong to me. Did it for years and what a mistake.)[/QUOTE]

    Your chemically straightened is my version of cropped high and tight. Though I do cut mine every three months, I have my stylist leave it longer. I kind of like it when it grows into a 'fro-mullett combo.:) On another note, I don't think I could picture you in anything other than your gorgeous head of curls.:)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • LISA LISALISA LISA Posts: 566Registered Users
    My DF absolutely ADORES curly hair. For him - the bigger, the better. He told me he had a raging adolesent crush on Bernadette Peters & has been madly attracted to curly hair since.
    Bernadette-Peters-new1.jpg
    He always askes me to wear my hair down and make it big. He also always points out women he sees on TV with Afros - "Ohhhh look at HER hair! That's curly!"

    I wish mine had more volume for his sake = but my plan is to grow it to my @$$. :dontknow:
    Big Chop from hip - 5/2014
    Enjoying the journey to APL or BSL!
    image.php?type=sigpic&userid=75884&dateline=1412004981
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Besides my boyfriend, who is a huge sucker for big naturally curly hair, majority of my compliments come from men at work. Basically drooling over my hair. The other day at work, i was running late and had second day bed hair curls and i received tons of compliments, a few from ladies but the rest and majority were from men. I don't understand it, because i always hear about how guys don't like it, but not here!

    Sent from my SPH-D710 using CurlTalk App

    Any chance I get I compliment ladies with curls.:)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    bobby wrote: »
    Your chemically straightened is my version of cropped high and tight. Though I do cut mine every three months, I have my stylist leave it longer. I kind of like it when it grows into a 'fro-mullett combo.:)

    Wow, every three months? Well that's should keep your hair looking healthy! Only cut mine every 6 mth.s to a year lol.
    On another note, I don't think I could picture you in anything other than your gorgeous head of curls.:)

    Thanks. It was so long ago I barely recall how it looked. But once in a while I stumble upon an old picture of myself and it all comes rushing back at me again like a nightmare haha.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Korkscrew wrote: »
    bobby wrote: »
    Your chemically straightened is my version of cropped high and tight. Though I do cut mine every three months, I have my stylist leave it longer. I kind of like it when it grows into a 'fro-mullett combo.:)

    Wow, every three months? Well that's should keep your hair looking healthy! Only cut mine every 6 mth.s to a year lol.
    On another note, I don't think I could picture you in anything other than your gorgeous head of curls.:)

    Thanks. It was so long ago I barely recall how it looked. But once in a while I stumble upon an old picture of myself and it all comes rushing back at me again like a nightmare haha.

    My stylist was somewhat surprised lately when I asked her to leave it longer after cutting it. Three months is about right for me. Perfect balance between letting the curls do their thing and have it look healthy. The only way I'll go short and cropped again is if I'm 55 and balding. In which case I'd ask to borrow some of your hair. ;)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LOL thanks for the hair crush mentality Bobby :D I can honestly say I have a serious hair crush on curly hair in general! Keep up all your great curly maintenance.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Korkscrew wrote: »
    LOL thanks for the hair crush mentality Bobby :D I can honestly say I have a serious hair crush on curly hair in general! Keep up all your great curly maintenance.

    Compliments like this make me feel good about my decision to grow my longer seven years ago. I should have kept it going when I did it at 14. I didn't know how good I had it. Better late than never. And yes, you too made the right decision going from straightening it to letting those lovely locks flow.:)
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • GroYoFroGroYoFro Posts: 237Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ^^ wise words from the gentlemen above me. Let your curls shine for all that they are worth!!
    "Life is too short to keep your hair short"

    Click here to visit - GRO YO FRO!
  • CurlyCarmenCurlyCurlyCarmenCurly Posts: 118Registered Users
    I wish more men complimented my curls ..
    r56gVvd.jpg

    3123985.png

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    BSL stretched (longest it's ever been and growing rapidly!), past shoulder curly. Hair goal is hip length.

    3a-b/f-m/ii. Soft and silky texture and prone to tangles. Can't get second day hair, even if I kissed the feet of fairy's :neutral:

    Follow me on Instagram! Weightlossandcurls.


    Pictures (clicky)
  • ShubhoRShubhoR Posts: 107Registered Users
    My boyfriend isn't a "hair person" , meaning he doesn't really care how I (or any other girl for that matter :-| ) wear my hair. So I don't get much compliments on my hair. But he is always a patient listener when I need to rant about my hair woes and yays. Lol

    Sent from android curltalk app.
    HAIR TYPE -2a-b, black, mostly medium
    CO WASH, RO-HE HH and ENLEVEN and GARNIER RANGE
    CLARIFY- I use sulphate shampoos silicone free(diluted), vinegar rinses
    DC-pure coconut oil, olive oil, sometimes a SMT
    LI-aloe vera gel + castor oil
    I'm currently at BSL, aiming for waist length.I'm a very impatient person, wish me luck :D
    I love my flat iron, but I love my waves even more. :-D
  • forevercurly96forevercurly96 Posts: 44Registered Users
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.
  • ShubhoRShubhoR Posts: 107Registered Users
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    Lol :D I am so tempted to show your comment to him. He isn't around right now. I'll be sure to pass on the message. :D

    The reason I don't get compliments is because I'm still partly in that experimenting phase. whenever I go out and my hair freaks out ,i put it up. I hardly ever let my hair down in front of him

    Sent from android curltalk app.
    HAIR TYPE -2a-b, black, mostly medium
    CO WASH, RO-HE HH and ENLEVEN and GARNIER RANGE
    CLARIFY- I use sulphate shampoos silicone free(diluted), vinegar rinses
    DC-pure coconut oil, olive oil, sometimes a SMT
    LI-aloe vera gel + castor oil
    I'm currently at BSL, aiming for waist length.I'm a very impatient person, wish me luck :D
    I love my flat iron, but I love my waves even more. :-D
  • generositytgenerosityt Posts: 245Registered Users
    My husband looooves curly hair. His first wife too had wavy/curly hair, so curly haired ladies are pretty much his type :) He told me he had a crush on Carrie Bradshaw and used to watch Sex and the City just for her but then she started wearing her hair more like wavy/straight in the series and he wasn't interested anymore (I watched random episodes so I'm not sure exactly how the transition happened).
    One time a homeless guy walking by, told me he loved my hair and that I was wearing it really well, I told him his comment just made my day and he said "I'm glad I did, I didn't make anybody's day in a long time"! :( so basically, within a few seconds, he made my day and broke my heart :(
    A Mediterranean 3b lady
    In love with my curls, love love love
    CG since Nov/07


    Co-Wash: VO5, Tresemme naturals, Fructis naturals
    Cond: Nature's Gate conditioners
    Stylers: Lotions made at home with coconut oil, honey, AVG, vegetable glycerin, OO, and EO.
    Gel: LA Looks sports gel for high humidity days.


    Hair goal: Waist length healthy curls
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    no no no, Generosity, what is really profound here is that despite his homelessness, he was able to give you a gift - a really valuable one. That is a lesson for all of us - no matter how little we may have we can always give the gift of generosity of spirit.
  • generositytgenerosityt Posts: 245Registered Users
    That's exactly what broke my heart, despite everything he was going through, hr still had a high spirit and was able to spread happiness around him
    A Mediterranean 3b lady
    In love with my curls, love love love
    CG since Nov/07


    Co-Wash: VO5, Tresemme naturals, Fructis naturals
    Cond: Nature's Gate conditioners
    Stylers: Lotions made at home with coconut oil, honey, AVG, vegetable glycerin, OO, and EO.
    Gel: LA Looks sports gel for high humidity days.


    Hair goal: Waist length healthy curls
  • CurlyCarmenCurlyCurlyCarmenCurly Posts: 118Registered Users
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    That's a bit unfair. Not being attracted to curly hair doesn't make you ignorant, it's a preference. A boy doesn't have to like curly hair to deserve you. If they treat you badly because of it, yeah, but everybody has preferences and people aren't obliged to like what you have. It hurts, but it's life.
    r56gVvd.jpg

    3123985.png

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    BSL stretched (longest it's ever been and growing rapidly!), past shoulder curly. Hair goal is hip length.

    3a-b/f-m/ii. Soft and silky texture and prone to tangles. Can't get second day hair, even if I kissed the feet of fairy's :neutral:

    Follow me on Instagram! Weightlossandcurls.


    Pictures (clicky)
  • ShubhoRShubhoR Posts: 107Registered Users
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    That's a bit unfair. Not being attracted to curly hair doesn't make you ignorant, it's a preference. A boy doesn't have to like curly hair to deserve you. If they treat you badly because of it, yeah, but everybody has preferences and people aren't obliged to like what you have. It hurts, but it's life.
    Yes exactly. He compliments me a lot but hardly my hair coz it is really not his thing. But he knows how important my hair is to me and he respects that. A lot. Thats all that matters.
    In fact thats all I expect from everyone. We love our curly hair and we need people to respect that. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and they shouldn't be condemned for that .


    Sent from android curltalk app.
    HAIR TYPE -2a-b, black, mostly medium
    CO WASH, RO-HE HH and ENLEVEN and GARNIER RANGE
    CLARIFY- I use sulphate shampoos silicone free(diluted), vinegar rinses
    DC-pure coconut oil, olive oil, sometimes a SMT
    LI-aloe vera gel + castor oil
    I'm currently at BSL, aiming for waist length.I'm a very impatient person, wish me luck :D
    I love my flat iron, but I love my waves even more. :-D
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Indeed, Generosity, but isnt that beautiful?
  • CurlyCarmenCurlyCurlyCarmenCurly Posts: 118Registered Users
    ShubhoR wrote: »
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    That's a bit unfair. Not being attracted to curly hair doesn't make you ignorant, it's a preference. A boy doesn't have to like curly hair to deserve you. If they treat you badly because of it, yeah, but everybody has preferences and people aren't obliged to like what you have. It hurts, but it's life.
    Yes exactly. He compliments me a lot but hardly my hair coz it is really not his thing. But he knows how important my hair is to me and he respects that. A lot. Thats all that matters.
    In fact thats all I expect from everyone. We love our curly hair and we need people to respect that. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and they shouldn't be condemned for that .


    Sent from android curltalk app.

    And this.

    Sure, it'd be great if our SOs adored our hair and wanted to roll in it every night, but everybody has their preferences. I have a 'type', but I've still dated those without those qualities and cared about them a lot. As long as he doesn't put you down and respects you and your hair, it's fine.
    r56gVvd.jpg

    3123985.png

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    BSL stretched (longest it's ever been and growing rapidly!), past shoulder curly. Hair goal is hip length.

    3a-b/f-m/ii. Soft and silky texture and prone to tangles. Can't get second day hair, even if I kissed the feet of fairy's :neutral:

    Follow me on Instagram! Weightlossandcurls.


    Pictures (clicky)
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    That's a bit unfair. Not being attracted to curly hair doesn't make you ignorant, it's a preference. A boy doesn't have to like curly hair to deserve you. If they treat you badly because of it, yeah, but everybody has preferences and people aren't obliged to like what you have. It hurts, but it's life.

    LOL You took the words right out of my mouth.
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Korkscrew wrote: »
    I think the boys your around are really ignorant and you shouldn't stand for that. Date someone who appreciates your curly hair which I'm assuming is a big part of you. If they don't like your curly hair they don't deserve you.

    That's a bit unfair. Not being attracted to curly hair doesn't make you ignorant, it's a preference. A boy doesn't have to like curly hair to deserve you. If they treat you badly because of it, yeah, but everybody has preferences and people aren't obliged to like what you have. It hurts, but it's life.

    LOL You took the words right out of my mouth.

    I second that, Korkscrew. Preferences are one thing. I tend to have "curl crush" but oddly enough my wife has straight hair. When you love a person, even if their hair is opposite your preference, you find that is way too trivial.
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    @Korkscrew: I get your point but I think we still have to look at how we get these "preference'; did your Barbie doll have curly hair? how about did she have anything other than an anorexic body? do you see any TV anchors with curly hair? Preferences are shaped by cultural conditioning. And often, cultural conditioning is shaped by white, patriarchial culture. Not to make a sociology lesson of all this, but I am sure you get my point.
  • CurlyCarmenCurlyCurlyCarmenCurly Posts: 118Registered Users
    Myrna wrote: »
    @Korkscrew: I get your point but I think we still have to look at how we get these "preference'; did your Barbie doll have curly hair? how about did she have anything other than an anorexic body? do you see any TV anchors with curly hair? Preferences are shaped by cultural conditioning. And often, cultural conditioning is shaped by white, patriarchial culture. Not to make a sociology lesson of all this, but I am sure you get my point.

    Like it or not, men are capable of thinking for themselves. Liking something other than curly hair and a curvy body doesn't make you conditioned. There are a multitude of reasons why people may have a preference.

    People are free to like what they like without being subjected to psychoanalysis, usually aimed at how bad 'European' culture is. Yawn.

    Edit: that's not to say that cultural conditioning doesn't have it's place, but lets not try and blame society for everything. Let people own what they like. I love curly hair and it's got nothing to do with society. Likewise, if my man likes straight hair, I'm not going to start going on in his ear about cultural conditioning, as if he's to stupid to have his own preference. Nobody questions me and expects me to justify my hair preferences, so why should we expect other to justify theirs?

    Also, the Cindy doll has curly hair.
    r56gVvd.jpg

    3123985.png

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    BSL stretched (longest it's ever been and growing rapidly!), past shoulder curly. Hair goal is hip length.

    3a-b/f-m/ii. Soft and silky texture and prone to tangles. Can't get second day hair, even if I kissed the feet of fairy's :neutral:

    Follow me on Instagram! Weightlossandcurls.


    Pictures (clicky)
  • KorkscrewKorkscrew Posts: 1,834Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Myrna wrote: »
    @Korkscrew: I get your point but I think we still have to look at how we get these "preference'; did your Barbie doll have curly hair? how about did she have anything other than an anorexic body? do you see any TV anchors with curly hair? Preferences are shaped by cultural conditioning. And often, cultural conditioning is shaped by white, patriarchial culture. Not to make a sociology lesson of all this, but I am sure you get my point.

    Myrna, I think you raise good reminders about cultural conditioning that are totally valid and shouldn't be easily overlooked. At the same time, I think there's a sort of false dichotomy that gets set up in this particular situation: either someone likes curls and is therefore "politically correct" or someone isn't fond of curls and is therefore "politically incorrect". In my own life, I just can't justify harboring such a paranoid assumption in every case where someone expresses a preference that happens to also fit mainstream American or Caucasian thinking. As CurlyCarmen pointed out, it's not always about Evil White Man. Not every road leads back to Barbie and her ludicrous bodily dimensions and platinum hair.

    Aesthetic preferences are not exclusively the result of dominant social norms and to treat each case thus is fallacious (post hoc ergo propter hoc - social pressure may not be the cause of a boyfriend or husband's preference for hair type). CurlyCarmen makes a good point: this kind of assumption can lead to unnecessary social derision. Happy Holidays to you and everyone else, btw :D

    (Edited to correct the butchering of CurlyCarmenCurly's name.)

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file