Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

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  • WumiWumi Posts: 185Registered Users
    I met my boyfriend with straight hair. The next day, I woke up and rinsed my hair out to wear a big curly afro. I don't get any complaints. He has never asked me to flatiron either. He just likes that I keep it long and had a butt-hurt when I cut it.
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  • CurlyUniqueCurlyUnique Posts: 94Registered Users
    I really didn't think much about this until today. I straightened my hair today and I had two guys tell me they thought my hair was pretty (and I don't remember a time either of them have really said anything about my curly hair) and when the first guy said it, it caught me off guard so I stuttered out a thanks and walked away. Then the other guy came up and he said he didn't even recognize me. I replied "oh is it the straight hair" and he said" yeah, it looks really good" and I couldn't help myself I told him "Oh so you don't think it looks good curly?" (I was joking) He turned red and started stuttering. I just laughed as he walked away. It didn't really bother me but it got me thinking. I don't really get comments on my curly hair unless it's from older men (like the age of my grandpa) or girls. Hmmm do a lot of guys really not find curly hair that attractive? Makes you wonder......
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  • AnnieRoseAnnieRose Posts: 87Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    @dummeeule

    this is kinda OT but are you German?
  • jmwjmw Posts: 130Registered Users
    In my experience, men my age don't notice my curly hair at all. It's as if their attention is diverted from it. Even my brothers forget that my hair is curly somehow. The once in a blue moon that I straighten it, I get a lot of comments like, "I never see you with your hair down!", (but, I nearly always wear it down). One time, someone said, "You look so different without your glasses!!" (I don't wear glasses). Understandably, some guys won't notice what is different about me, but it's a bummer that my straight hair registers in their brain someplace as a dramatic improvement or enough to notice me when they never paid any attention to me before.
    However, like was mentioned above, older men and ethnic men fawn over my curly hair.
    Hair Type: 3a/3b
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    OH, oh, here is my take: BOYS (of all ages) may have issues with curly hair. A real man (of any age) knows that it is the person who matters. If (when I was single) any man had made negative comments about my hair, he would have been gone. But, I have worn my hair long and wavy or curly since I got divorced 10 years ago, and in those years, I have not received a single critical comment. I HAVE gotten many compliments.
  • OcienOcien Posts: 23Registered Users
    Who cares what the guys that don't like curly hair think. We love our curls so we don't need anyone else's opinion. Unless their opinion is a compliment.
    I Love my curls, and yours! :love2:

    2c-3a curls
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  • JessiesCurlsJessiesCurls Posts: 36Registered Users
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Tell them to sod off.

    I'm wondering that too, especially if he met you as a curly. If I were you, I'd confront him about it.

    As for why men don't like curly hair, I can't really answer that. All the men I know either like curly hair or they just don't have a preference. My husband likes my curls, he thinks it fun to pull the individual curls and watch them spring back, lol. :)
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  • anonymous_17170anonymous_17170 Posts: 29Registered Users
    Sadly and on behalf of my personal experience, the only thing I can do is agree with the question of: "Why don't men like Curly hair"
    I have had the most hatred and horrific experiences based on my hair being curly, ever since I was a child till this day.
    When I was little most of the girls at my church had that thick straight hair that does nothing else, and all the boys liked those girls obviously, and often mocked my long curly locks.
    As a teenager, things weren't much better, every guy asked me the following questions: " Have you ever worn your hair straight?, "Can you get your hair straight?" "Don't you think you'd look better with your hair STRAIGHT?"
    Recently I was dating a guy who met me with my hair straight by coincidence, but he did know that my hair was curly and often saw it that way... and I had never known someone so hateful and abusive towards curly hair, he just hated it, he often commented that I HAD to keep it straight and that it was so RARE that he was attracted to me because he hated curly hair and usually liked Hispanic girls with straight hair?(whatever that means)
    He always said that guys only like straight hair, and that no guy would ever accept me with my hair curly. Needless to say his eyelashes melted off after I was finished replying and he's no where to be found in my picture. Now was he right about guys not accepting me with curly hair? I have no idea if that is true or not, and I'd like to give men a lot more credit than to think they are stupid enough to like or dislike someone based on their hair texture, but sadly I have yet to meet guys who like my hair curly. If you know any, I'd LOVE to interview them for my blog. Seriously. There She Goes

    And for those out there saying that Ethnic men love their hair? I have no idea what you are talking about because the worst insults I've received on my hair have been from Hispanic guys and or African American guys who have advised me to relax my hair like their mom's do.

    I have gotten tons of compliments from straight haired European girls and also older European men... guess I should go there and stay forever, maybe I'll find a European guy who DOES like curly hair.

    For laughs... please check out this video, I've heard every single one of these comments regarding my hair.:blob7:

    **** straight haired girls say to curly haired girls - YouTube
    http://massielmancebo.wordpress.com/
    Hair Type: 3B with a concoction of random 3a/3c mixed in.:blob3:
    Fine/Normal Texture, Oily/ Normal, Normal Porosity, No hair dyes, no chemicals, all natural.
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    Organix Coconut Shampoo (Sulfate free):glasses2:
    I switch up my normal conditioners all the time.
  • mycurlytressesmycurlytresses Posts: 275Registered Users
    I actually receive more attention and get more compliments from men since I big chopped on 7/24/12 than I did with a relaxer. :-)

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  • ellaquentellaquent Posts: 4Registered Users
    since everyone's sharing, i just wanted to jump in:

    my first serious boyfriend said he liked my hair curly and that i looked like a different person with it straight - in a bad way. he said i looked "too sleek". however, one of the main problems in our relationship was that i am a born & raised NYC girl and he hated Manhattan. i think wearing my hair straight made him feel as if i was somehow being 'better than him', or something stupid like that.

    my second serious boy-thing-pseudo-relationship guy told me that with straight hair he "didn't recognize" me and "thought it was sexier". however, he constantly told me i was sexy regardless of straight or curly. that was also a disastrous "relationship".

    my third, and current person: best-guy-friend-of-five-years-basically-in-a-relationship-now-except-we're-currently-3,000 miles-apart said he thinks i'm beautiful no matter what - and i'm sure even if i shaved my head he would still think so. but on the subject of curly, he said he loves my curls, but when i feel like straightening my hair he was always good with it because as long as i was happy and felt good about myself, he was happy too.

    i think that's the best... because in the end there has to be some level of physical attraction! no one actually finds every single human being (of whatever sexual preference they ascribe to) on this earth to be attractive; at least enough to have sex with/be in a relationship with. people are allowed to have preferences - however, you shouldn't start dating someone and be like "now change this specific physical (and emotional!) aspect of who you are" in regards to ANYTHING (not just hair - weight, clothing style, etc.).

    i love my curls, but i also love wearing my hair straight - and i want whomever i'm with to feel the same way ( third time's the charm :3 )
    3a curls - dyed red - just past shoulder length, trying to grow to my waist!
    NPiB2.jpg
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ElleBelle, that guy was a half-wit moron. As for the rest of these ridiculous male children, they are not just lacking in smarts, they are also racist. Or am the only one who equates curls with ethnicity?
  • anonymous_17170anonymous_17170 Posts: 29Registered Users
    Thanks Myrna.

    And yes I do agree, I think that (SADLY) a lot of people especially in the Hispanic community it seems, somehow attach curls to the African American race only, something that is incredibly ignorant. Unfortunately a lot of guys I've met that are Hispanic have pre-conceived notions about curls and they believe that based on what they've heard from their families being "black" is a bad thing?

    I know this because I was born in the Dominican Republic, my family however is from Northern Spain and I was raised in the U.S. I'm from all over the place and was never raised with any sort of prejudice or complexes about hair, as a matter of fact growing up I didn't know there was really a difference between straight hair or curly or wavy, I just never thought about it to be honest. But after encountering a lot of Hispanic people I realized most views were very different from mine.

    I've noticed that in DR most men if not ALL will NEVER date a girl with curls because that means she must be mixed with African, and in Dominican Republic a lot of people attempt to be as "White" as possible? Whatever that means. So you see women relaxing their hair every weekend at the salon and if you want to find a man, you're not going to with what they call (pajon) or "giant poofy mess" in English. In a lot of Hispanic communities the men's goal is to get a "white" girlfriend, or one that at least sort of looks white, so being curly haired and tan isn't the best thing I guess.

    I am mixed with many races. so I don't think curls only come from Africa since there are women and men from all over the globe with curls and textures. But like you said, I do find it quite racist for guys to make comments like that about curls because the majority of the time I feel it does have some underlying pre-conception or assumption about a specific ethnicity, be it African or any other.:flower:
    http://massielmancebo.wordpress.com/
    Hair Type: 3B with a concoction of random 3a/3c mixed in.:blob3:
    Fine/Normal Texture, Oily/ Normal, Normal Porosity, No hair dyes, no chemicals, all natural.
    Deep Conditioning Treatment: Honey&Coconut Conditioner mixed together for lightening and protein.

    Organix Coconut Shampoo (Sulfate free):glasses2:
    I switch up my normal conditioners all the time.
  • MyrnaMyrna Posts: 2,472Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Hi, ElleBelle:

    We Jewish gals are prone to curly hair as well. So, when I read here that "guys" (that is , guys with emotionally stunted develpment) dont like curls - for whatever rationaization - yes, I do take that as ati-semitic, and I learned long ago that anti-semitism belongs in a discussion about racism.
  • CurlswirlCurlswirl Posts: 526Registered Users
    I think that many males who do not like curls have been brainwashed by the media. Today I was looking in a catalog and I see curling iron produced waves mainly and straight hair and hardly any natural curls.One day I straightened and a male friend said, "did you do something different with your hair, you look cool?"
    In the 1980s, my curls were loved by so many more and I looked "coo"l then because it was in style." But I do agree that there is also a racism connection.
  • ElizabethFaithElizabethFaith Posts: 429Registered Users
    Thanks Myrna.

    And yes I do agree, I think that (SADLY) a lot of people especially in the Hispanic community it seems, somehow attach curls to the African American race only, something that is incredibly ignorant. Unfortunately a lot of guys I've met that are Hispanic have pre-conceived notions about curls and they believe that based on what they've heard from their families being "black" is a bad thing?

    I know this because I was born in the Dominican Republic, my family however is from Northern Spain and I was raised in the U.S. I'm from all over the place and was never raised with any sort of prejudice or complexes about hair, as a matter of fact growing up I didn't know there was really a difference between straight hair or curly or wavy, I just never thought about it to be honest. But after encountering a lot of Hispanic people I realized most views were very different from mine.

    I've noticed that in DR most men if not ALL will NEVER date a girl with curls because that means she must be mixed with African, and in Dominican Republic a lot of people attempt to be as "White" as possible? Whatever that means. So you see women relaxing their hair every weekend at the salon and if you want to find a man, you're not going to with what they call (pajon) or "giant poofy mess" in English. In a lot of Hispanic communities the men's goal is to get a "white" girlfriend, or one that at least sort of looks white, so being curly haired and tan isn't the best thing I guess.

    I am mixed with many races. so I don't think curls only come from Africa since there are women and men from all over the globe with curls and textures. But like you said, I do find it quite racist for guys to make comments like that about curls because the majority of the time I feel it does have some underlying pre-conception or assumption about a specific ethnicity, be it African or any other.:flower:

    I've also noticed this but in the US. There's this Hispanic/African American guy that I know, and I think he's cute but I've noticed that he dates mostly white girls. It's frustrating, really. And disappointing because he's sweet and cute (I know I already said that) and nice and soft-spoken... and all of the girls he goes out with are fast with blonde/brunette straight hair and sometimes ugly (inwardly). It hurts sometimes... :(
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  • anonymous_17170anonymous_17170 Posts: 29Registered Users
    aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

    A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

    As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

    Different strokes for different folks I guess!:-?
    http://massielmancebo.wordpress.com/
    Hair Type: 3B with a concoction of random 3a/3c mixed in.:blob3:
    Fine/Normal Texture, Oily/ Normal, Normal Porosity, No hair dyes, no chemicals, all natural.
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    Organix Coconut Shampoo (Sulfate free):glasses2:
    I switch up my normal conditioners all the time.
  • hairspirationhairspiration Posts: 1Registered Users
    A boy and a girl were talking a stroll. They were chatting when the conversation took a turn:

    Girl: There are so many things I appreciate about myself now that I hated as a child. People used to make fun of my hair when I was little and I used to wish I had straight hair like everyone else.

    Boy: They made fun of your hair? Really?

    Girl: Yeah, they used to call me Marge Simpson and question my race.

    Boy: Well...I think your hair is beautiful.


    That was my husband and me the other night. His simple and sincere compliment has stayed in my mind the past few days. I am 28 years old and those words people called me as a child have stuck with me until this day. I am just beginning to realize after all this time that my hair is not a curse, but a blessing. Someone amazing will love you for you and think you are beautiful just the way you are, don't worry about the others.
  • ChocolateCurlzzChocolateCurlzz Posts: 30Registered Users
    Every time I straighten my hair (usually for special event that doesn't happen very offen), my husband complains- and can't wait for me to shower to get the curls back....
    I asked,"is it because you've only dated straight haired girls?" he said, "yes".

    The bf before my dh was into ethnic women and he openly would say that he liked mixed chicks- therefor he LOVED curls too.
  • dummeeuledummeeule Posts: 11Registered Users
    AnnieRose wrote: »
    @dummeeule

    this is kinda OT but are you German?


    Late reply, sorry.
    But nope, I'm not German. I only lived in Germany a few years ago and speak a little bit.
    I'm never using chemicals on my hair again.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • medusaloxmedusalox Posts: 16Registered Users
    So sad to hear all these stories of men who don't like textured hair. Weird! I've definitely noticed an increase in the attention I receive now that I embrace my wurlies. I think you ladies need to move to my area! ;-) Straightened hair has this processed quality that immediately turns me off (I like natural ladies!) and I don't know how anyone can look past a beautiful curly in favor of boring, flat hair. I guess everyone has their own preferences? :-/
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  • JohariJohari Posts: 673Registered Users
    I think guys secretly like curly hair. More guys approach me when its straightened but much more stare when its curly.
  • fefe912fefe912 Posts: 570Registered Users
    aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

    A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

    As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

    Different strokes for different folks I guess!:-?

    wow @ that guy telling you that you weren't attractive because of that, that's crazy. It's crazy because I live in georgia and hispanic men here are always trying to talk to and date black chicks, I've dated a few and I'm always getting hit on by them whenever I go different places. For instance in the mornings when I go to work there are some hispanic guys that work at this restaurant next to my job they're always smiling and telling me how pretty I am and that they like my hair curly .
  • JohariJohari Posts: 673Registered Users
    fefe912 wrote: »
    aw... I'm sorry, it sounds like your pretty into him. But to be honest with you, you really shouldn't waste your time liking/thinking about someone you know won't accept you for who and what you are, you'll just get hurt in the long run.

    A lot of guys like certain "looks" on girls and most of the time they don't pay much attention to what's in her head, it's more about having arm candy. I don't know if that's the case with this particular guy but that happens to be a common situation.

    As for the whole Hispanic/African guy thing, I've noticed that here in the U.S. as well, I've never lived in D.R. and I grew up amongst mostly white/asian people, later on I encountered more Hispanic and African American people and realized they had all these different prejudices with hair and skin color and what not. It was a big surprise. I was really shocked to have a "Hispanic" guy tell me that he didn't think I was attractive because I was too tan and had curly hair.

    Different strokes for different folks I guess!:-?

    wow @ that guy telling you that you weren't attractive because of that, that's crazy. It's crazy because I live in georgia and hispanic men here are always trying to talk to and date black chicks, I've dated a few and I'm always getting hit on by them whenever I go different places. For instance in the mornings when I go to work there are some hispanic guys that work at this restaurant next to my job they're always smiling and telling me how pretty I am and that they like my hair curly .
    Wow really? All I get is whistle/cat calls from them if I wear it straight but I live in California. Idk maybe I look latina when its like that? A guy that did my make up thought I was black&mexican.

    But its nice to have other cultures/people appreciate curls.
  • DepressedCurlsDepressedCurls Posts: 836Registered Users
    I've never had this problem. My curly hair is a man magnet. But, i do see with other curly women that their confidence changes when they straighten their hair. They're a lot more confident and idk if it's the change or what, but i think that's another factor for some men. Not all, but some may pick up on that.

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  • Y3ssi88Y3ssi88 Posts: 132Registered Users
    Wow I never experience that. My husband hates my hair straight he always yells at me when I straighten my curls out. I always thought men like natural curly hair. I guess not
  • JohariJohari Posts: 673Registered Users
    Y3ssi88 wrote: »
    Wow I never experience that. My husband hates my hair straight he always yells at me when I straighten my curls out. I always thought men like natural curly hair. I guess not
    Well I've never had a boyfriend but most call calls/approaches come from total strangers.My guy friends or guys at my school don't try to talk to me like that which is confusing since guys(well they're usually older than me)outside my school approach me.
  • curlyfriesscurlyfriess Posts: 5Registered Users
    i think its all about what the man likes.
    most guys have only liked me for my hair. i think guys actually like it because its different :)
  • curlyfriesscurlyfriess Posts: 5Registered Users
    i agree it does attract a lot of men
  • bobbybobby Posts: 785Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i think its all about what the man likes.
    most guys have only liked me for my hair. i think guys actually like it because its different :)

    I have always been more likely to compliment on curly hair.
    2B always with potential of white man's fro

    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/members/bobby-albums-my-album.html

    "Curls aren't just for girls"
  • DepressedCurlsDepressedCurls Posts: 836Registered Users
    Besides my boyfriend, who is a huge sucker for big naturally curly hair, majority of my compliments come from men at work. Basically drooling over my hair. The other day at work, i was running late and had second day bed hair curls and i received tons of compliments, a few from ladies but the rest and majority were from men. I don't understand it, because i always hear about how guys don't like it, but not here!

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