Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

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  • lovely_eirenelovely_eirene Posts: 48Registered Users
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Tell them to sod off.

    Rofl, this. Personally, if a guy wasn't accepting of a part of me, whether it be something on my head or in my heart, then he probably wouldn't be the one for me, and I wouldn't waste time with him.

    But don't take any notice of what they say. As long as you love your hair, that's all that matters. Your current bf sounds like he's just playing with you, but hearing stuff like that constantly can wear away at you :S
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  • BellaPetiteBellaPetite Posts: 9Registered Users
    Honestly. All of my family members like women with curly hair. Probably because their hair is curly themselves so they can't judge. However. I must say that men outside my family has criticized me for my curly hair. But my family adores and embraces it! I don't get those 2nd looks when my hair is curly and that's just fine. But when I had a sew in I was getting double takes and winks from random men. And that frustrated me! After 3 weeks in the sew in I took it out because it was no longer a representation of who I am. Honesty though, I don't want a man that doesn't want to date me bcuz of my hair. I'd rather be single than be criticized constantly for my curls!
  • EdenRoseEdenRose Posts: 181Registered Users
    liron wrote: »
    In my experience guys love long curly hair. I think short curly hair they might not enjoy so much. I think long hair in general is more desired. That stated, I anyone I was dating had the audacity to tell me I should change for them, I say "you know where the door is."

    Well i know for me before i BC'd my bf was very worried I'd have a fro(i mean i do but he thought more tight small curls idk) But when i finally did do it. I have more wavy curly hair.3b/3cish so my hair looks curly to him i guess guys are weird) but i showed him some of my curly hair role models and those with my curl type and he's actually excited to see it a longer. But he did give me a whole if you had a super huge nappy fro idk if i'd be that attracted to your hair. I think most guys have a stereotype of curly girls like wild curls and such and unruly and. I think as he sees it's soft manageable cute tinsy bit wild curls they adjust.

    It's a mindset?
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  • JujubeJujube Posts: 6Registered Users
    I was straightening my hair when I met my husband and have only started going CG in the past year. He always told me he liked it after I straightened it, but I assumed that was because it wasn't a giant poof and I had chosen to "do" something with it. When I went curly, he acknowledged (and continues to) every time my hair looked better and better as I tried out techniques and products, but it was only when I asked him directly that he told me he PREFERS my hair straight.

    That being said, he has NEVER asked me to straighten it, NEVER casually mentioned it, NEVER even talks about my hair except to tell me that it looks like I'm having a good hair day. As long as he continues to love me and find me attractive, I don't care.

    I actually prefer his hair longer, and have told him so, but continue to cut it short like HE likes, so I feel we're even. Good luck!
  • finallylikemyhairfinallylikemyhair Posts: 219Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My husband actually prefers my curly hair. I would date a man who had such a negative opinion of my hair. Most guys I've dated have always complimented and loved my curly hair

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  • alaskantsunamialaskantsunami Posts: 421Registered Users
    Artemida wrote: »
    everytime I wore my hair curly his eyes would light up

    This makes me "awww."

    I had a boyfriend who told me he didn't curly hair except on me. Looking back I'm pretty sure he lied so he wouldn't hurt my feelings, but he was pretty convincing at the time.
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  • MidisurfMidisurf Posts: 88Registered Users
    My girlfriend has super naturally straight naturally blonde hair, I love it when she styles it curly (she can make it curly/wavy without heat). I love it straight too though.
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  • SpiralingSpiraling Posts: 7Registered Users
    Well personally the guys I've met seem to really like my hair! They think it's super cute (well, my curls are much more dollie like than crazy tiny twists, but that has a very exotic and beautiful appeal all it's own), although I have to admit before I got bangs (which i straighten) people seemed to think i'd look much better with straight hair (I do not- my hair is much too thin to pull that off!), but in general I haven't met a guy who specifically disliked curly hair.
  • HipsterSoulHipsterSoul Posts: 1,017Registered Users
    There are men who like curly hair. I've always found it odd for people to have preferences in how people look. Sure you find certain features attractive but it being a deal breaker is extreme.

    If a man doesn't like you for your curly hair, he isn't worth the trouble.
  • DedachanDedachan Posts: 1,644Registered Users
    There are men who like curly hair. I've always found it odd for people to have preferences in how people look. Sure you find certain features attractive but it being a deal breaker is extreme.

    If a man doesn't like you for your curly hair, he isn't worth the trouble.

    Yeah, I don't think people's preferences are so fixed. For instance, I don't think a guy would dismiss an attractive woman because she is not blonde (well, maybe if he is Hugh Hefner). Most of us are willing to date people who are very different looking but attractive each in their own way. I am always baffled by people who ask me what my ideal man should look like. As if I had a clue.

    Then someone makes a dumb survey and force people to tick a box and everyone is saying how curly women or readheads or whatever are this or that. Whatever...
  • wurlacurlswurlacurls Posts: 413Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    liron wrote: »
    In my experience guys love long curly hair. I think short curly hair they might not enjoy so much. I think long hair in general is more desired. That stated, I anyone I was dating had the audacity to tell me I should change for them, I say "you know where the door is."

    Yup, this. I have found as long as its long, men like my hair curly. Most times I was told they prefer it curly. Come to think of it my husband was the only man I dated that really liked it straight. And even him, he liked it straight because it was softer to the touch, he loved it curly as long as it didnt feel hard. And his biggest thing was he liked me changing it up. So if it was straight everyday for months he couldnt wait to see the curls. And after months of curly he couldnt wait for me to straighten.

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  • proudcurlygirlyproudcurlygirly Posts: 478Registered Users
    There are men who like curly hair. I've always found it odd for people to have preferences in how people look. Sure you find certain features attractive but it being a deal breaker is extreme.

    If a man doesn't like you for your curly hair, he isn't worth the trouble.[/QUOTE]

    :thumright: Absolutely true. It's their loss and a more worthy and deserving guy's gain. My husband recently saw pictures of me with straight hair from the past and said "you look better curly because with straight hair you look like everyone else, but with your curls you stand out." I gave him a big fat smacker on the lips, bless him!
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  • naturalzombiegirlnaturalzombiegirl Posts: 11Registered Users
    tulipan wrote: »
    Tell your boyfirend that you don't like his curls in some places and you can borrow him flat iron to straigh this;)

    ROTFL!!!!!

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  • harmonydharmonyd Posts: 8Registered Users
    I used to be a security guard for 8 hours in an office building and then for 8 hours at a truckyard. I was in the middle of traffic flow at both locations and a lot of people knew me. I wore my hair curly almost all the time. One day I wore it straight. It was the strangest thing. Of the men who responded at the office building, ninety percent preferred it straight. But of the men who responded at the truckyard, ninety percent preferred it curly! White collar vs. blue collar? I could not have predicted that.

    Overall, however, I haven't had any complaints about my curls :) I truly believe that men respond much much more to how you FEEL about yourself and the comfort and confidence you project rather than any one thing about you.
  • curlyhoneybcurlyhoneyb Posts: 267Registered Users
    Why don't some men like curly hair?

    Because they have internalized a preference for a certain ideal of beauty. Let's be honest...straight hair is often portrayed as being glamorous and sophisticated, as well as more professional. Curly hair is rarely viewed in a positive light by the media, which tends to influence what people find attractive.

    I've been with men who didn't like my hair. Needless to say, I had to cut them loose. I wanted to be with somebody who could accept me without expecting some kind of unattainable false image. To the OP, your hair isn't the problem...it is the type of men that you pick.

    My husband has worked in a white-collar environment for 16 years. When we first started dating, he told me that he preferred straight hair. I told him that if he didn't like my curls, he needed to be with a straight-haired girl. Obviously that isn't what he wanted because he married me. :lol:

    Don't worry...there will be plenty of guys who love your curly hair. Curly hair is gorgeous. It is sexy. It is powerful.
  • lovelovelovelovelovelove Posts: 257Registered Users
    I haven't had guys tell me they don't like my hair curly- no one even knows how I look straight as I have never straightened it lol! A part from a comment here and there on my wild lion mane, I usually only get compliments. I go to a very multicultural art school. This helps a LOT because there are much more naturals here than at an average school.

    Funny because just friday my guy friend was staring at my hair and said "You have big hair." I said "yeah I know" and then he says "it's really cool..." then he turns to my straight haired friend and says "unlike yours"! Of course it was mean of him to say that to my friend, but it just goes to show that curls are getting more and more love.
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  • kelciecurlykelciecurly Posts: 16Registered Users
    The second a guy (any guy--friends, hot guys, a guy I was in class with etc) tell me that they like my hair better straight I automatically put them in a boring box. I get they might have been socialized that way, but curly is part of ME. If you don't understand how my personality relates to my curly hair, then you clearly aren't worth my time.

    Sidenote: How weird is it that I associate my personality with my hair?

    It's like anyone who doesn't accept me for me, hair included, can't be worth my time. :)

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  • LaBeauteBoucleLaBeauteBoucle Posts: 92Registered Users
    The second a guy (any guy--friends, hot guys, a guy I was in class with etc) tell me that they like my hair better straight I automatically put them in a boring box. I get they might have been socialized that way, but curly is part of ME. If you don't understand how my personality relates to my curly hair, then you clearly aren't worth my time.

    Sidenote: How weird is it that I associate my personality with my hair?

    It's like anyone who doesn't accept me for me, hair included, can't be worth my time. :)

    Lol it's not weird at all! I feel the same way. Big hair = big personality in my book and ppl who knew me with both straight and curly always tell me how the curls fit me better. Sometimes I do think my hair has wwaayyy more personality than I do, but maybe that's cuz it has a mind of its own?

    Anyway I used (key word) to talk to this one guy not too long ago who met me with curly hair and had the nerve to ask me if I would straighten it so he could "run his fingers through my hair." I was like wha??? :confused3: It was only the beginning of our first date!
    So, um, no. I had to set him straight (sry for the pun). I was like "Curls are me. I could careless where you wanna put your dirty ass hands and even if I did straighten it I wouldn't let you touch it so you could ruin my blowout." Needless to say I had to bounce him real quick.

    Man do I miss my old dude though. He :love2:ed my natural hair. Could not get enough of it and he was foiine! Stupid long distance relationships :sad8: Aw well, gotta KIM.

    The point is some guys are chauvinistic jerks and others are caring sweethearts. Trust, they will reveal themselves as either or without much work from you.
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  • KurlyPrincessKurlyPrincess Posts: 1,847Registered Users
    It's not weird that you associate your personality with your hair... I do that all the time! Or...maybe we are both weird. :laughing8:
    ______

    I don't think all guys dislike curly hair... I have a friend that had straight hair and her boyfriend really liked curly hair so she was always trying to straighten it. Which it was just a crunchy mess. haha My dad also really loves curly hair
    <3 Our love is like the wind; I can't see it. But I can feel it. <3
  • theliothelio Posts: 5,374Registered Users
    I do the same thing. Straight hair to be is boring, conservative, rigid, rule follower. So not me. I even have people tell me my hair fits my personality. It does its own thing, may seem a little crazy, but always a method to its madness.

    Even when i wear my hair straight i act different. I dont know why, i act more contraint.

    When i let my curly hair fly loose, you need me on a leash!!

    If anyone tells me they perfer my hair straight, pretty much says they dont like me. SO MOVE ON!!!
  • OnduleeOndulee Posts: 1,270Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy

    If all a person can see are terrible flaws in the person they're with, what kind of idiot does that make them, for choosing to be there?
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  • CurlyQ82CurlyQ82 Posts: 51Registered Users
    I never had a guy tell me outright that he hated my curls, but whenever I would once in a while straighten/blow out, i would get "oh i like your hair straight!" It would become a big deal and while they would dance around it, they basically were saying they didn't like my curls. My current b/f actually says he loves my curls better and hates when i straighten it! He is the first one to tell me he prefers the curls. Needless to say, that is one of the reasons I love him--he likes me for me! :wav:
  • fetusfetus Posts: 100Registered Users
    It seems like a lot of younger males (25 and under) are a lot less likely to appreciate curly hair. When I started wearing my hair curly a few years ago, a few male friends at the time always said things like, "when are you going to straighten your hair again?" and, "it just looks so much better straight."
    I've gotten nothing but compliments from older men, though, and luckily my SO really likes my hair curly.
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  • swansinaprilswansinapril Posts: 117Registered Users
    I agree that younger men do not appreciate curls.

    Unfortunately, that's the age group of guys I have to be involved with right now. I'm 24 and all the boyfriend's I've had have never really commented on my hair at all. I'm a pessimist so I take that to mean they don't like it (if they did love it, surely they WOULD say something.) I could tell my ex loved to run his hand through a girl's hair. He tried to do it on me and would get his hand stuck and give up. I would never go on a date with curly hair, simply because I never see girls my age showing off their curls, plain and simple. It's just not what I see to be in style. :(

    I have never, ever had a guy my age say something nice about my hair. Whenever I straighten, though, I would get lots of comments. It seems like my generation is all about silky smooth pin-straight hair, or silky smooth WAVES ("never curls!!" seems to be the consensus.) Although girls my age create WAVES and say that they are CURLS!! Don't you hate that? I want to correct them and be like, "That's wavy hair, not curly hair." It's like true curly hair doesnt even enter the realm of possibility for them as a style, so if I were to say that they'd be like "Oh... well, yeah.... but honey, we don't actually wear curls. Waves are as curly as we go, so we call them curls." (This is just how my mind interprets it lol!)
    Either way, the silkyness always seems to be what's most desired, and I have absolutely NONE of that.



    This is all just my opinion, of course. And this is what makes it so hard for me to accept my hair. :(
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  • irociroc Posts: 7,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think guys like hair to look soft and inviting, so if you over gel/product your hair and are always saying 'don't touch it' or freaking out that the wind may mess it up - I could see that being a turn off.

    In my experience most guys have liked my curly hair. Generally when I would go through stages of straight or curly I would get lots of comments either way. Some preferred straight, some curly. Out of the guys I've dated, only one liked it better straight.


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  • Robin-in-FLRobin-in-FL Posts: 1,731Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I will never forget what the leg waxing lady said to me one time - I was about 30, she was a Spanish (as in from Spain) lady, and her comment was:
    "you don't need a bikini wax, you need a Cuban man!"

    I didn't trade in for a different man but this makes sense to me. it's not true that "guys don't like curls", I think the majority of guys don't really notice hair all that much, not as much as we do; and if someone does, and has a strong preference for straight hair, then that guy is not for me. Same thing if they like big boobs or hips, that's not me and not likely ever to be, you gotta enjoy the slender body and appreciate that I keep it in shape, not be somebody who is always going to be disappointed that I don't put on fat in certain places. I think guys getting used to fake boobs on skinny women probably affects me more than guys liking straight hair, actually.

    Also, I do think most people have preferences, that's not wierd.
    And do I get chatted up by guys standing behind me, LOL, so curly hair must look attractive to a lot of 'em.
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  • MojoDojoMojoDojo Posts: 702Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Every guy my age (I'm 24) that I know prefers my hair curly over straight. My husband, and my ex, both said that was something they really loved about me (even if I won't let them touch it, my husband still "boings" my hair every once in a while - with sound effects, haha). So I think it's preference from guy to guy, not a specific age group.

    Unfortunately, society does teach us that smooth, straight or wavy hair is preferable. Too bad, because there's nothing more eye-catching than a gorgeous head full of thick springy curls, imho.
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  • CurlyQ82CurlyQ82 Posts: 51Registered Users
    I agree that younger men do not appreciate curls.

    Unfortunately, that's the age group of guys I have to be involved with right now. I'm 24 and all the boyfriend's I've had have never really commented on my hair at all. I'm a pessimist so I take that to mean they don't like it (if they did love it, surely they WOULD say something.) I could tell my ex loved to run his hand through a girl's hair. He tried to do it on me and would get his hand stuck and give up. I would never go on a date with curly hair, simply because I never see girls my age showing off their curls, plain and simple. It's just not what I see to be in style. :(

    I have never, ever had a guy my age say something nice about my hair. Whenever I straighten, though, I would get lots of comments. It seems like my generation is all about silky smooth pin-straight hair, or silky smooth WAVES ("never curls!!" seems to be the consensus.) Although girls my age create WAVES and say that they are CURLS!! Don't you hate that? I want to correct them and be like, "That's wavy hair, not curly hair." It's like true curly hair doesnt even enter the realm of possibility for them as a style, so if I were to say that they'd be like "Oh... well, yeah.... but honey, we don't actually wear curls. Waves are as curly as we go, so we call them curls." (This is just how my mind interprets it lol!)
    Either way, the silkyness always seems to be what's most desired, and I have absolutely NONE of that.



    This is all just my opinion, of course. And this is what makes it so hard for me to accept my hair. :(

    Swans it's true of this generation...I'm a little older than you (29) but Ive always noticed every girl even with a little bit of wave owned a straightening iron and wouldnt dare to go out on the town with curly hair...it always bothered me...even now when curly hair is supposed to be more "in", what celebs are calling curly are strategic, curl iron induced waves that are always "silky and perfect". It's frustrating but we aren't hollywood celebs with stylists and even if we were, why should we have to get rid of our curls or flatten em out if we don't want? I rock my hair curly more often as ive gotten a bit older and care a bit less about what other people say. And in the guy/date department, you have to find someone who loves you for you, and that's curls and all!:happy7:
  • BlackAngelPlayahBlackAngelPlayah Posts: 1,419Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    mdderm wrote: »
    This is a topic that I find very frustrating because I have no idea as to why this is. The boyfriends that I've had just hated my hair curly. My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. My ex hated how curly hair looks and actually made it completely clear when I wore it curly to university once. It seems like whatever guy I meet doesn't like curly hair. I probably know like 2 who actually like curly hair out of like 50 guys I know. It really annoys me because I don't think it looks bad. If you tell me the only reason guys like straight hair is because they can put their fingers in it is just being gay. You can put fingers in curly hair just be more gentle! When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...:laughing7:

    Date guys you met wearing your hair curly. That way you know they love your curly hair. :)

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  • CurlyUniqueCurlyUnique Posts: 94Registered Users
    I haven't personally noticed if guys like straight hair better then curly but I do notice in my circle of friends the guys seem to go for the shiny straight haired girls (even if they obviously straighten their hair to the max). I can't seem to understand why though, I find long straight hair kind of limp and lifeless, but that's just me I guess. Anyway like I said I've never had a guy say he doesn't like my hair curly, mainly cause I've only had two guys in my whole life compliment me on my hair, both being when I had my straight pixie haircut (which was surprising cause I heard guys didn't like short hair, which the one guy wasn't a fan of the short hair but he said my hair looked extremely shiny and soft and the short hair worked on me). Now that my hair has grown and I'm wearing it natural I haven't gotten a comment on my hair, unless it's from girls who say they love my natural curly hair. I've noticed s few guys staring at my hair but they never say anything. I think some guys could just be intimidated by a girl with curly hair, maybe thinking she's out of their league. Just like a girl who they find extremely pretty, a girl who is a knock-out may not know it cause guys never come up and talk to her cause they are to nervous to, so she may end up thinking she isn't pretty, I've seen it happen. I'm probably wrong but that's just what i take from it, of course some guys just really don't like curly hair, which is their loss. I actually relate this topic to height or any other physical hang up, i've noticed all my friends would never date a guy that was shorter then them, which I have to take in to consideration the tallest of my friends is like 5'5 so I can see where they're coming from but I think of it this way if you want a guy to accept how you look and not judge you cause you may not have the look they like then why judge a guy on how he looks. I'm 5'8 and if the right guy would come around (when I'm out of my teens and old enough to date a guy) and he would be shorter then me it wouldn't matter. Just like it shouldn't matter to a guy if a girl has curly or straight hair, it's the person inside that matters (bleck I sound like hallmark card). But we are all human and we all judge and have hang ups that some of us just can't get over. Sorry I'll shut up now, I'm rambling.
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