Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

1356716

Comments

  • notegalnotegal Posts: 560Registered Users
    mdderm wrote: »
    Update: I confronted my boyfriend. I told him how immature hes being when he says those things and that it annoys me. He apologized and has stopped saying all those annoying things but now he doesn't say ANYTHING about my hair. He doesn't say it looks good or bad. I don't know if thats still bad or not...now he dislikes it but now I won't know about it...

    Maybe it's just not what he's used to...we are all bombarded by the straight haired girls on tv and magazines. It may just take some getting used to.
    "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for."
    Ernest Hemingway


    CG since June 15th, 2008:dog::love5::elephant:
    3b very thick hair with very kinky (possibly 3c) curls underneath
    Went Deva Care line beginning
    September 23, 2009
    Update: 10/12/2009 I can't stop playing with my curls!! So soft, shiny and manageable!!!! IN LOVE WITH DEVA Products!!!!!! YIPPPIE!!!!:wav:




  • hadtochangemynamehadtochangemyname Posts: 628Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I must be in the minority here, as I wouldn't waste my time on someone so superficial. If my boyfriend didn't love ME for ME, rather than how I looked, well he would no longer be my boyfriend.

    My stepmom lost her hair when she went thru chemo. You think my dad loved her less? You think that curls or no curls were important to them?

    Honestly, why make excuses for superficiality? Who cares what he is "used to seeing". ugh, that sort of thing makes me vomit. How will a guy who has a "problem" with how his girlfriend wears her hair deal with stretch marks from pregnancy, weight gain due to illness, scars from surgery or an accident...? Probably by leaving you for someone who is superficially perfect.

    Good luck with that.
    [FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]
    [/FONT]
  • Nappy_curly_crownNappy_curly_crown Posts: 4,162Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i've never had a man that i'm dating tell me he doesn't lik my hair. I dunno but usually that's the very thing that draws them to me...because its so different from how most "mainstream" black women wear thier hair.
    Wanna talk products? Come Join us here!
    http://www.facebook.com/PlatinumPJ

    Extremely thick, kinky curls/coils that have a mind of thier own!!!!
    _____________________________
    I like my men and my hair....KINKY!!!!
    _____________________________
    Wanna save $10 off your next purchase at vitacost.com? Use my referal code (click the link)!


    12459237.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter
  • s.s.blackorchids.s.blackorchid Posts: 12Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
    I must be in the minority here, as I wouldn't waste my time on someone so superficial. If my boyfriend didn't love ME for ME, rather than how I looked, well he would no longer be my boyfriend.

    My stepmom lost her hair when she went thru chemo. You think my dad loved her less? You think that curls or no curls were important to them?

    Honestly, why make excuses for superficiality? Who cares what he is "used to seeing". ugh, that sort of thing makes me vomit. How will a guy who has a "problem" with how his girlfriend wears her hair deal with stretch marks from pregnancy, weight gain due to illness, scars from surgery or an accident...? Probably by leaving you for someone who is superficially perfect.

    Good luck with that.

    I agree. And if he loves straight hair so much, he can go find a straight haired girl. That'll leave you to find a guy who loves you for who you are. There are many men out there who don't let tv dictate what they like.
  • flufflesfluffles Posts: 45Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    The few times i've let a hairdresser straighten my hair my boyfriend (who i live with) has hated it - he says it 'doesn't look like me'. He says my curly hair is 'sexy' and really doesn't like the super well-groomed look, he prefers girls who look like fun, not like mannequins!

    I love my boyfriend :iconbiggrin:

    There must be more like him out there...
    Started trying low-poo in early August 08:
    MOP C-system shampoo and conditioner
    CO washing most days, poo about once a week
    Boots curl creme and Umberto Giannini Curl Friends Scrunching Jelly after washing
  • soulcurlysoulcurly Posts: 61Registered Users
    oh wow. i've been wearing my hair only curly now for the past two months. i used to wear it straight 95% of the time and curly just once in a while.

    wearing it natural, i get at LEAST 5 compliments a day. and my boyfriend LOVES my curls. says it looks MUCH better like this.

    i'm so surprised that your BF would say this. i get approached wherever i go. not just girls but guys stop me to look at my hair and tell me how gorgeous it is.

    sounds like your BF has no idea what he's talking about. no offense! haha
    3B*CGsince 7/08
    ABSOLUTELY LOVING!:
    -Giovanni 50:50
    -CK
    -Giovanni Direct Leave-in
    -KCCC and FOTE
    -Jane Carter Nourish and Shine
    -Cowash-Giovanni Triple Tea Treat-
    -DT-Giovanni Smooth as Silk
    http://public.fotki.com/soulcurly/
    pw: mulatto
    "Aside from women, music makes the world go round..."
  • Ryfrie21Ryfrie21 Posts: 40Registered Users
    I've also dated a bunch of guys who think "straight hair is so much hotter". My boyfriend now says my hair is beautiful no matter how i wear it. he loves my curls because i can jump in the lake at his cabin or do whatever and i just shake my curls out when i'm done and its so low maintenance. ;) always a plus to boys!
  • mmhairmmhair Posts: 16Registered Users
    All my guy friends walk up to me and ruffle my hair with their hands....? I prefer to think positive about it; I believe they do it because they like my hair.

    I've only had one guy tell me that I should straighten my hair. He tells me every other day. But you know you what? I've noticed that his taste in girls is quite cliche.

    My hair seems to attract guys that aren't afraid of a spontaneous and wild woman. While some may disagree, I think that curly hair definitely projects a wild and independent image, or at least that's what it seems to project to guys.

    An insecure man is going to be very afraid of a woman that appears to be strong and independent.
  • MistressM.MistressM. Banned Posts: 254Banned Users
    They don't like short hair, either. :thumbdown: It's strange.. when I cut my almost bra-strap length hair to just below my chin, I got compliments mostly from women wheras most men I know don't like it. What is it with men and freakin long hair, I ask you??

    Didn't mean to detract from the original topic. In my experience, men don't seem to care much either way about curls. I've had a few guys tease me about it in high school, but I find that men care much more about the woman's overall appearance.
  • mddermmdderm Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    mixed_mama wrote: »
    oh wow. i've been wearing my hair only curly now for the past two months. i used to wear it straight 95% of the time and curly just once in a while.

    wearing it natural, i get at LEAST 5 compliments a day. and my boyfriend LOVES my curls. says it looks MUCH better like this.

    i'm so surprised that your BF would say this. i get approached wherever i go. not just girls but guys stop me to look at my hair and tell me how gorgeous it is.

    sounds like your BF has no idea what he's talking about. no offense! haha

    Woah! where do you live? I'm moving there for sure! Haha
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    MistressM. wrote: »
    They don't like short hair, either. :thumbdown: It's strange.. when I cut my almost bra-strap length hair to just below my chin, I got compliments mostly from women wheras most men I know don't like it. What is it with men and freakin long hair, I ask you??

    Didn't mean to detract from the original topic. In my experience, men don't seem to care much either way about curls. I've had a few guys tease me about it in high school, but I find that men care much more about the woman's overall appearance.

    Funny, recently my husband ran across a picture that was taken of us a few years ago. My hair was a bit past BSL, and it didn't have any layers in it, so, well, there was a lot of hair, lol. When we were getting ready to go to bed that night he asked me if I thought I would ever grow my hair that long again. I was like "oh no!" (it's just past shoulder length right now). I told him that I go through phases, I'll wear my hair long for a few years, get sick of it, then cut it short and wear it that way for a while, till I get sick of that.

    He was like... well, I really like your hair much better this length, I don't think you should grow it again! I always knew he didn't like super-long hair... this confirmed my suspicions that he preferred shorter vs long cuts. Anyway, I assured him that, should I grow my hair again, this time it will be cut in layers... so there won't be quite as much hair as there was before! :lol:
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Posts: 5,000Registered Users
    And FWIW, I've never had a guy tell me he wanted me to straighten my hair, or that he preferred straight hair. I never straighten, so I'm not sure how or why the topic would come up- unless the hypothetical guy just felt like being an insensitive jerk.
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • cayseecaysee Posts: 89Registered Users
    When I met my husband I was straightening my hair and it was pretty short. We dated almost 2 years before he knew it was curly. I figured he would surely dump me for some straight haired girl. He didn't; he actually liked my curly hair curly and still does. If I straighten it he just looks at me and says yes I see it is straight I will like it better tomorrow when it is curly again.
  • akilamoniqueakilamonique Posts: 302Registered Users
    My husband was actually the one that suggested that I try my hair natural. He says "That's what a black woman's hair looks like, so why should you do anything different". This always makes me chuckle because I assumed that he liked my hair better straight because he is half white and dated mostly white women before me, I figured since that is what he's used to that he would like it better. Boy was I wrong.

    He likes to play in it(when it's soft that is!)
    ACV Rinse 2-3 times a week
    Nature's Gate Biotin Conditioner
    Curly Kinks: Satin Root, Coil Jam
    Castor oil on scalp
  • TeriETeriE Posts: 4Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Hi fellow curlies,
    It's Teri Evans, a writer with NaturallyCurly.com, and I'm working on a story that could include you. I'd like to interview women whose boyfriends (past or present) give them a hard time about their curly hair -- maybe they criticize your curls or tell you to straighten them.
    If you've experienced this in your relationships-- and you'd like to be considered for inclusion in the article, please contact me. My e-mail: [email protected]curly.com

    More details:
    If the problem was in a previous relationship, explain how you handled the hurtful comments and also how you approach relationships differently now. Be sure to include your phone number (so I can reach you), your age and city/state.
    To be considered, please e-mail me by Friday, or sooner if possible. This article will not only highlight the problem, it will also focus on empowering solutions. I look forward to your stories.
    All my best,
    Teri Evans
  • susancnwsusancnw Posts: 1,374Registered Users Curl Novice
    fluffles wrote: »
    The few times i've let a hairdresser straighten my hair my boyfriend (who i live with) has hated it - he says it 'doesn't look like me'. He says my curly hair is 'sexy' and really doesn't like the super well-groomed look, he prefers girls who look like fun, not like mannequins!

    I love my boyfriend :iconbiggrin:

    There must be more like him out there...

    I married one of them....DH doesn't like me with straight hair...actually, none of my family does. My youngest sorta does as she can then brush my hair, but I don't look like me so....
    My son wears combat boots (and a parachute). So does my son-in-law.
    The older I get, the less patience I have with cleverness. Thomas Sowell.
    Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. Benjamin Franklin.
    Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain.

    s-event.png

  • N.D. AubeN.D. Aube Posts: 87Registered Users
    I could definately be with a guy who doesn't like my hair. So what? My current boyfriend doesnt like my hair straight while I do, he likes it curly. I dont like his current haircut, but so what. it makes him happy so I accept it. I don't need any guy's approval anyway, including my boyfriend's on my hair. he is entitled his own opinion and just because he thinks my hair is lame doesnt mean I should go cry a river and dump him.
    comic-p.jpg
    Type; 3c-4a
    Prods: TBA
    My hair HATES Vo5 & Suave with a passion, b/c of the dmdm hydantoin. Protein sensitive.
  • nuttybutternuttybutter Posts: 64Registered Users
    LoloDSM wrote: »
    My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy. Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow. :tongue5:

    Omg you made me laff so much! Go you!

    In our car, I got mum a warning sign that says "Ex Husband in Boot"
    3a/b hair...?


    Yeah, I hate Bee's, OK?
    :wink:

    They're like...flying DEATH MONKEYS

    Fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nuttybutter/

    pw: thedoctor


    Strange women lying in ponds distrubuting swords is no basis for a system of government!
  • nuttybutternuttybutter Posts: 64Registered Users
    MistressM. wrote: »
    They don't like short hair, either. :thumbdown: It's strange.. when I cut my almost bra-strap length hair to just below my chin, I got compliments mostly from women wheras most men I know don't like it. What is it with men and freakin long hair, I ask you??

    Didn't mean to detract from the original topic. In my experience, men don't seem to care much either way about curls. I've had a few guys tease me about it in high school, but I find that men care much more about the woman's overall appearance.


    not true! I recently got my hair cut short (look in my fotki for pics) and my mate jack said I had "sex hair". ...I love jack lol
    3a/b hair...?


    Yeah, I hate Bee's, OK?
    :wink:

    They're like...flying DEATH MONKEYS

    Fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nuttybutter/

    pw: thedoctor


    Strange women lying in ponds distrubuting swords is no basis for a system of government!
  • lironliron Posts: 22Registered Users
    In my experience guys love long curly hair. I think short curly hair they might not enjoy so much. I think long hair in general is more desired. That stated, I anyone I was dating had the audacity to tell me I should change for them, I say "you know where the door is."
  • jenbuggy85jenbuggy85 Posts: 232Registered Users
    :toothy7:ever watch that millionair match maker show? where they pic girls and interview them? well, one of them had beautiful curly hair! and the match maker told her that when she comes to the date the next night she needed to have her hair straight!! im sorry... but we are WAAAAAAAAAAYYYY hotter than straight headed ppl!! when my husband and i go out, i blow my hair out with a dryer right before its almost dry.. and make it as BIG as i can. flaunt it girl!!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Biotera Styling gel (firm hold)
    Biotera Curl creme
    Sauve Naturals coconut conditioner as Co-wash and leave in.


    After all this I get about 3 or 4 days of good "wearable" hair.

    PROUD MOMMY AND ARMY WIFE!:toothy7:
  • curlygirl81curlygirl81 Posts: 127Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    If some guy doesn't like your curls, dump him! I was taught not to like my curls - my mom hated them and I was always harassed at school about them (a lot of you probably know exactly what I mean, especially if you grew up in the '70's) but then I met my husband and he realized how I felt and how I had been mind-f**ked for all those years, and he started a campaign to teach me, on a day to day basis, how truly beautiful my naturally curly hair is. He still tells me, almost everyday, how much he LOVES my hair and how beautiful it is, how he feels sorry for all those poor girls with nothing but straight hair. He puts his fingers in my hair and they get stuck and he loves that and kisses my head. And now, because of him, I love my hair and am genuinely proud of it. God bless him!!
  • curlygirl81curlygirl81 Posts: 127Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    N.D. Aube wrote: »
    I could definately be with a guy who doesn't like my hair. So what? My current boyfriend doesnt like my hair straight while I do, he likes it curly. I dont like his current haircut, but so what. it makes him happy so I accept it. I don't need any guy's approval anyway, including my boyfriend's on my hair. he is entitled his own opinion and just because he thinks my hair is lame doesnt mean I should go cry a river and dump him.

    It's not about what your BF likes or doesn't like - it's about whether or not he's so bad-mannered as to express his opinion to you. Yes, it IS necessary to keep ones opinions to oneself if they are going to hurt another person. There are always going to be things you don't like about someone, or they don't like about you. But your hair isn't about HIM, it's about you. So he should have the maturity to keep his mouth shut.
  • yukissyukiss Posts: 5Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    i'm a 20 year old guy, and like I posted in another thread...the girl in this video is SO gorgeous to me...and the curls are a huge part of it....a lil exotic. Now i'm not married, and I'm still single...but curly hair isn't considered a "liability" for me. I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls :)
    My 2 cents.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7uc9Q7GE8

    If done right, curls are very sexy.

    Guys view curly hair as more independent? Interesting.

    I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I pretty much agree with everyone else. If he doesn't like you for you, then it's time to go. I would suggest talking to him first before you just up and leave.

    The whole independent thing caught my eye because I have heard this quite a few times. I guess it plays into that whole control thing. Some guys want to control their women. There are still some men who won't have anything to do with a woman, not just because of the way she looks, but because she might just be a little better than him. Men are all about their egos. If they see a woman who is doing her own thing, they get intimidated. Some men want a woman that is easy to control sort of speak. I guess if a man sees a woman with curly hair, or doing a style that is against what is popular at the moment, they take her as independent.

    There's nothing wrong with being independent, though. It just means you are able to think for yourself. If I were you, I would talk to your boyfriend about how damaging straightening your hair can be. Ask him if he wants you to end up with broken off unhealthy hair because he wants you to have straight hair. That should change his mind.

    I'm glad that I have a boyfriend who loves my 4a hair. I just took some straight weave out of my head and he begged me not to put it back on, lol.

    very well said
  • funnybunny668funnybunny668 Posts: 16Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    My husband says as long as I'm happy, he's happy, Bless him! LOL
  • krisakrisa Posts: 7Registered Users
    My experience with men is they either love it or hate - not much in-between :wink: I recall one shallow guy, I didn't bother getting to know, didn't like it because he couldn't run his fingers straight through it like silk in the way he always imagined he could from watching Pantene commercials - lol! My husband loves my hair but he wishes it was more get up and go! (so do I).
    3a on top/3b underneath
    Fine, but very thick, dry, medium-long, brown with highlights
    Experimenting with CG & products for the second time

  • curlycue82curlycue82 Posts: 92Registered Users
    It has been my experience that when I embraced my curls, and truly loved them, and was actually confident with my hair - EVERYONE stopped making comments, friends, boyfriends, and yup - family.

    It was like my shield of confidence stopped them from even saying anything. And those that dared? I didn't give them the time of day - when someone tried I just ignored it and if necessary avoided that person for a while.

    As soon as my curls became my signature/trademark look and straightening became something I wanted to do for FUN, people accepted it. In fact, now when I straighten my hair (the last time was three years ago...) people say "Oh, I loved your curls! Why did you straighten it? It looks nice, but curls are just you!"

    You have to make it yours, and anyone who has a problem with that has a problem with you, which is their problem - not yours, or your hair's.

    Love your curls!

    My husband absolutely loves my hair, he thinks it is sexy and he can touch it and run his hands in it, he has learned how to work with my curls too - LOL!

    :)
  • tarahhhhtarahhhh Posts: 125Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    The thing is, men that are confident in their role in a relationship can LOVE curly hair. I really believe that some (read: outdated) men like straight hair because they feel that they can control it, curly haired women seem more natural or wild (neither of which are bad things) and are then harder to control. In this day and age women shouldn't need to be controlled in any aspect of their life. I embrace my curls whole heartedly even though the majority people I see either straighten their hair or have naturally straight hair. I don't think a hair style should be attributed to a personality trait, since that is like saying "all blonds are dumb", but we as humans just LOVE to generalize and categorize. Back to my original point, men who don't feel the need to have control in their relationships or are okay with not having the typical steamy make out session where a man grabs the woman's head and runs his hand through the silky locks then there should never be a problem. My boyfriend loves my curly hair, I wore it straight once for fun and he thought it was nice, but preferred my curly hair. I wear contacts too, but he likes me better with my glasses. I think everyone should strive to be with someone who accepts them perfectly as they are.
    Though, you can't have someone love you if you don't really love yourself, so maybe that should be the first step ...
    Tarah - with an "H" :hello2:
    Always trying something new.

    I'm a curly college student, and LOVING it.
    "They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes - Make it worth watching."
  • marie.lmarie.l Posts: 702Registered Users
    happy international curly day!

    check out naturally curly's celebratory video:
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/TenYears

    marie
  • CurlyCurrllCurlyCurrll Posts: 1Registered Users
    I dont understand that either... And I think it is annoying, if they tell you they dont like your curly hair... I mean I was straightening my hair for a whole while, cause I thought guys really hate curly hair. The result was not different and i was just destroying my hair and was spending 20 minutes in the morning to straighten it. Honestly i dont care anymore, I mean if someone cant stand my curly hair.... THey kinda need to deal with it. I mean I like my curly hair. Deal. =)

Leave a Comment

BoldItalicStrikethroughOrdered listUnordered list
Emoji
Image
Align leftAlign centerAlign rightToggle HTML viewToggle full pageToggle lights
Drop image/file