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Seriously- Why don't men like Curly hair?

mddermmdderm Curl NeophytePosts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
in Hall of Shame
This is a topic that I find very frustrating because I have no idea as to why this is. The boyfriends that I've had just hated my hair curly. My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. My ex hated how curly hair looks and actually made it completely clear when I wore it curly to university once. It seems like whatever guy I meet doesn't like curly hair. I probably know like 2 who actually like curly hair out of like 50 guys I know. It really annoys me because I don't think it looks bad. If you tell me the only reason guys like straight hair is because they can put their fingers through it, is just being unreasonable. You can put fingers in curly hair just be more gentle. When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...:laughing7:
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Comments

  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Posts: 3,135Registered Users
    Uh... well, first, I don't think "gayness" has anything to do with it. In fact, some of the biggest fans of curly hair on women that I know are gay men.
  • curlylauracurlylaura Curl Neophyte Posts: 8,352Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Tell them to sod off.
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • 30isthenewblack30isthenewblack Curl Neophyte Posts: 49Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    mdderm wrote: »
    This is a topic that I find very frustrating because I have no idea as to why this is. The boyfriends that I've had just hated my hair curly. My current boyfriend always jokes and says "ahh my hands are stuck" whenever he puts his hands in my hair. My ex hated how curly hair looks and actually made it completely clear when I wore it curly to university once. It seems like whatever guy I meet doesn't like curly hair. I probably know like 2 who actually like curly hair out of like 50 guys I know. It really annoys me because I don't think it looks bad. If you tell me the only reason guys like straight hair is because they can put their fingers in it is just gay. You can put fingers in curly hair just be more gentle! When I straighten my hair my boyfriend is like "yes! I love straight, I don't like curly..." Funny thing is he met me as a curly and has the nerve to say something about it? I am angered...:laughing7:

    I think it's all about personal preferences. Some men like blondes and others prefer brunettes. I've always dated men who liked exotic looking women with curly hair. I would be angered as well if my boyfriend said that to me especially when he met you when you had curly hair. He should accept you & love you as you are.

    I could never be with someone who said they didn't like curly hair. I know women who have curly hair & their husbands prefer straight hair & I honestly don't know how they married them knowing that. It's one thing to be young & single & be able to maintain straight hair but it's another to be married, holding a full time job & looking after children & finding enough time to put lipstick on in the morning.

    30
  • 30isthenewblack30isthenewblack Curl Neophyte Posts: 49Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    tulipan wrote: »
    Tell your boyfirend that you don't like his curls in some places and you can borrow him flat iron to straighten this;)

    Hilarious .... I think your English is just fine :wink:
  • cymprenicympreni Curl Neophyte Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I haven't actually ran across a lot of men who hate curly hair. Personally for me, it would be a dealbreaker, so maybe that's why. To me, someone telling me I need to start straightening is no different then someone saying I need plastic surgery. Someone asking me once to straighten, I say a big no, and forget it, but if it keeps coming up, or they were to say they don't like my curls, then I'm gone. Curly hair is part of who I am, physically and psychologically. So it's like saying there's a big a part of me that they don't like. And I am who I am, love me for it, or move on.
  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Curl Connoisseur Posts: 10,904Registered Users, Curl Ambassador Curl Connoisseur
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Thats what I'm wondering? How can you date someone that is so outspoken about something he doesn't like about you? I could see if you smoked, or drank too much, but your hair?

    When I met my ex, he had a goatee. LOVED it on him, but then he shaved it off one day. I told him I preferred the goatee, but I would never bring it up more than once or harp on it.

    I think its one thing to compliment your straight hair (obviously what he likes more) but he shouldn't complain about your curls...thats just rude!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • michikobmichikob Posts: 118Registered Users
    I thought that more people are starting to wear their hair curly...well wavy at least. My friend used to straighten it every single day, then when she just left it in waves people said how they loved it! Maybe waves are more accepted then curls and kinks...but don't worry we'll be next!!!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    ^That was when I didn't have a relaxer for about a year and some months.
    current relaxer
    Natural: 4b
    =D
  • mddermmdderm Curl Neophyte Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Riot Crrl wrote: »
    Uh... well, first, I don't think "gayness" has anything to do with it. In fact, some of the biggest fans of curly hair on women that I know are gay men.

    haha...I didn't mean it literally!
  • mddermmdderm Curl Neophyte Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Tell them to sod off.

    You have a point. One of the first times I ever talked to him he asked me if I ever straighten my hair. However this to me didn't seem like him dissing my hair - it was a question. The 2 years I've been with him its only now that its starting to bug me since I wear it curly a lot more now. I have realized its really important for someone to like me for me - hair and all and maybe its time for a change of relationship. How much are you supposed to compromise in a realtionship? Sigh...break ups are complicated...
  • AdriaCroftAdriaCroft Curl Neophyte Posts: 264Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Im quite lucky my hair was curly when I met my husband, and he loved it. But i straightened it for my wedding day, god knows why because I regret it.

    I then straightened my hair almost continously from 2003 to may 2008 now I have embraced my curls and I can't imagine going back to straight hair, my husband says that he prefers my curls that they make me look more friendly! lol

    To celebrate 5 years of being married we are having a blessing ceremony while on our cruise and my husband wants me to wear my hair curly.

    So I would say make sure that you get a man that loves you for you because you are going to be saying hello first thing in the morning for a good many years.
    Curl Type 3A and with a mind of its own.

    Shampoo once a week with Organic Aloe Vera Herbal Shampoo.

    Currently on the look out for a new DT and Styling Cream, though Curl Junkie is looking quite good.
  • lioneselionese Curl Neophyte Posts: 140Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree with lexygirl. My husband and I have been married 23 yrs. He always says he loves my curly hair. Says I look like a lioness(that's where I got my username). If a man loves you, he'll love your beautiful "mane" too! If he doesn't, time to move on.
  • LatinaCurlsLatinaCurls Curl Neophyte Posts: 11Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh, the irony. When I met my husband, I'd had my hair chemically straightened. My hair was one of the things he'd noticed about me, b/c it was long and thick, he thought it was really pretty. I got tired of the straight hair, though, and started styling it curly every once in a while. He told me he PREFERED my curls.

    I also have a hard time understanding why he met you as a curly, but gives you a hard time about your curls. My guess is that he really likes YOU, and you probably shouldn't break off the relationship for it. BUT I would definitely talk to him. Ask him why he started dating you if your curls bothered him so much. Explain that your curls are a part of who you are, and when he complains about them, it makes you feel really bad. If after having a sincere talk with him, he still harrasses you, then I would take it as a sign that he doesn't care how he makes you feel. Only then would I start thinking about whether or not it was a relationship for me.
  • jillipoojillipoo Curl Neophyte Posts: 3,795Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    curlylaura wrote: »
    Why are you going out with men that don't like a physical aspect of you? How long into the relationship do they let you know that they don't like your hair?

    Tell them to sod off.

    Well said. If a guy wants you, he needs to want all of you -- not just selected parts. Trust me -- you will find a guy who adores you and your curly hair. Dump any guy who doesn't so you can keep the pathway open for the good guys!

    Jeez. It's right up there with jerks with wear "No fat chicks" T-shirts. So damn ignorant.
    3a and strictly CG since August 2007. Porous and on the fine side. No to magnesium sulfate and glycerin. Yes to protein! Favorites:
    CO-WASHES: Suave Coconut
    CONDITIONERS and LEAVE-INS: Mop Top Daily Conditioner, KBB Nectar, Aubrey GPB or Island Naturals, Robert Craig, Any Jessicurl
    CURL ENHANCERS/CREMES/MOUSSES: KCCC, JoiWhip
    GELS: Fuzzy Duck, B5 Design, MGA Scultping, BRHG


    Fotki password: chuckle
    Blog: http://jillipoo.blogspot.com/
    Twitter: nopoojillipoo
  • toothfairytoothfairy Posts: 242Registered Users
    I've met plenty of men who like curls. my fiance prefers my hair curly rather than straight..

    curls are sexier, imo.
  • AG.AG. Curl Neophyte Posts: 1,519Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Why don't men like Curly hair?


    Because most men are being told what they're supposed to like (by pop society and the media)?


    .
    Northern Colombia.
  • jillipoojillipoo Curl Neophyte Posts: 3,795Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    ag_613 wrote: »
    Why don't men like Curly hair?
    Because most men are being told what they're supposed to like (by pop society and the media)?

    YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!
    3a and strictly CG since August 2007. Porous and on the fine side. No to magnesium sulfate and glycerin. Yes to protein! Favorites:
    CO-WASHES: Suave Coconut
    CONDITIONERS and LEAVE-INS: Mop Top Daily Conditioner, KBB Nectar, Aubrey GPB or Island Naturals, Robert Craig, Any Jessicurl
    CURL ENHANCERS/CREMES/MOUSSES: KCCC, JoiWhip
    GELS: Fuzzy Duck, B5 Design, MGA Scultping, BRHG


    Fotki password: chuckle
    Blog: http://jillipoo.blogspot.com/
    Twitter: nopoojillipoo
  • mddermmdderm Curl Neophyte Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Thanks so much guys, I guess I was just frustrated but now I really feel a lottt better. I will talk to my boyfriend...
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Posts: 3,778Registered Users
    Sounds like you've already made a decision about what to do, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth.

    DH couldn't care less how I wear my hair. If I'm happy with it and don't spend hours in the bathroom (like I did with flat-ironed hair), he doesn't care. I think that's how it should be. It's your time to fight nature. He should love you regardless of what you do with your hair, and if he's got a problem with it, you're better off without him.

    My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy. Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow. :tongue5:
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • jillipoojillipoo Curl Neophyte Posts: 3,795Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LoloDSM wrote: »
    Sounds like you've already made a decision about what to do, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth.

    DH couldn't care less how I wear my hair. If I'm happy with it and don't spend hours in the bathroom (like I did with flat-ironed hair), he doesn't care. I think that's how it should be. It's your time to fight nature. He should love you regardless of what you do with your hair, and if he's got a problem with it, you're better off without him.

    My ex-husband (the one with the small willie - I always work that in whenever he is mentioned) HATED my curly hair. He also hated my clothes, my hair color, my friends, and pretty much everything about me. My point (other than bringing up the small willie) is that it isn't worth changing yourself to make someone else happy. Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow. :tongue5:

    :sign5:
    3a and strictly CG since August 2007. Porous and on the fine side. No to magnesium sulfate and glycerin. Yes to protein! Favorites:
    CO-WASHES: Suave Coconut
    CONDITIONERS and LEAVE-INS: Mop Top Daily Conditioner, KBB Nectar, Aubrey GPB or Island Naturals, Robert Craig, Any Jessicurl
    CURL ENHANCERS/CREMES/MOUSSES: KCCC, JoiWhip
    GELS: Fuzzy Duck, B5 Design, MGA Scultping, BRHG


    Fotki password: chuckle
    Blog: http://jillipoo.blogspot.com/
    Twitter: nopoojillipoo
  • thebaydestrianthebaydestrian Curl Neophyte Posts: 45Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    i'm a 20 year old guy, and like I posted in another thread...the girl in this video is SO gorgeous to me...and the curls are a huge part of it....a lil exotic. Now i'm not married, and I'm still single...but curly hair isn't considered a "liability" for me. I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls :)
    My 2 cents.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7uc9Q7GE8

    If done right, curls are very sexy.
    3A (my hair is pretty darn short now though)

    I shampoo every 3 days, condition everyday, and co-wash with Suave Naturals Coconut once in every 3 day shampooing cycle. I also use BioInfusions, the Leave-In Conditioner everyday.

    Also, I am a guy :blob7:.
  • 30isthenewblack30isthenewblack Curl Neophyte Posts: 49Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LoloDSM wrote: »
    Be true to yourself (and your hair!), and the men will follow. :tongue5:

    I love that quote :toothy7:
  • VerityVerity Curl Neophyte Posts: 616Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I honestly don't care what men think. That's one nice thing about getting older and being married--I don't have to worry about being attractive to anyone except my dh!
  • Shooting StarShooting Star Posts: 167Registered Users
    thebaydestrian wrote: »
    i'm a 20 year old guy, and like I posted in another thread...the girl in this video is SO gorgeous to me...and the curls are a huge part of it....a lil exotic. Now i'm not married, and I'm still single...but curly hair isn't considered a "liability" for me. I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls :)
    My 2 cents.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE7uc9Q7GE8

    If done right, curls are very sexy.

    Guys view curly hair as more independent? Interesting.

    I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I pretty much agree with everyone else. If he doesn't like you for you, then it's time to go. I would suggest talking to him first before you just up and leave.

    The whole independent thing caught my eye because I have heard this quite a few times. I guess it plays into that whole control thing. Some guys want to control their women. There are still some men who won't have anything to do with a woman, not just because of the way she looks, but because she might just be a little better than him. Men are all about their egos. If they see a woman who is doing her own thing, they get intimidated. Some men want a woman that is easy to control sort of speak. I guess if a man sees a woman with curly hair, or doing a style that is against what is popular at the moment, they take her as independent.

    There's nothing wrong with being independent, though. It just means you are able to think for yourself. If I were you, I would talk to your boyfriend about how damaging straightening your hair can be. Ask him if he wants you to end up with broken off unhealthy hair because he wants you to have straight hair. That should change his mind.

    I'm glad that I have a boyfriend who loves my 4a hair. I just took some straight weave out of my head and he begged me not to put it back on, lol.
    I Love Epic Men...
    RacerX.jpg
  • lioneselionese Curl Neophyte Posts: 140Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I find your comment interesting too, baydestrian. I think it proves opposites attract. At least as far as looks go. My husband's hair has always been very fine, straight and thin. Now that he's older, he has very little of it. He's always been envious of my thick, curly hair. He loves it. Of course I love his baby hair!
  • thebaydestrianthebaydestrian Curl Neophyte Posts: 45Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    At least for me, I don't really fall for the independent "BS"...i think it's a stereotype that's been around, and some guys unfortunately fall for it's false facade. For example, if I had straight hair, I'd probably be more attacted to a girl with curls. It's just like how I am with everything else in life..."I want what I can't have." :wink: haha.
    lionese wrote: »
    I find your comment interesting too, baydestrian. I think it proves opposites attract. At least as far as looks go. My husband's hair has always been very fine, straight and thin. Now that he's older, he has very little of it. He's always been envious of my thick, curly hair. He loves it. Of course I love his baby hair!
    3A (my hair is pretty darn short now though)

    I shampoo every 3 days, condition everyday, and co-wash with Suave Naturals Coconut once in every 3 day shampooing cycle. I also use BioInfusions, the Leave-In Conditioner everyday.

    Also, I am a guy :blob7:.
  • mozekemozeke Posts: 480Registered Users
    [QUOTE=I do understand what you are saying though; some guys prefer straight hair because curly hair can tend to exude a sense of independence...which is sometimes intimidating for some dudes. But i don't think it's as bad as you think as a lot of guys like some curls :)
    My 2 cents.

    Wow, I've never heard anything like that before. I had no idea wearing your hair curly sent so many messages. I just never paid it that much attention. It was straight b/c you wanted it straight, curly cuz you wanted it curly, etc.
    Last relaxer: 12/10/07
    BC date: 5/2/08
    It's your hair...do what you wanna do
  • mddermmdderm Curl Neophyte Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    You know what guys, as weird as it sounds this isn't the first time I"ve heard that curly haired women come off as being independent! Maybe its the fact that curly hair is so wild and untamed that it reflects on the person and that isn't good for men who want to control their women? Really strange how something as your hair can translate into someone being "uncontrollable".
  • mddermmdderm Curl Neophyte Posts: 61Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    LoloDSM I'm glad small willie guy is now your EX husband :)
  • figiwater9figiwater9 Posts: 79Registered Users
    I am the only naturally curly girl I know. Its actually really funny, ,y one friend has long beautiful blonde straight hair and she always tells me i need to straighten it. One time she got tired of having to blow it out every morning or straighten it so she just started putting products in it to make it wavy. She walked into school and people asked if she was okay or if she slept in late this morning. I just laughed at her. I'm like see your hair is a part of who you are. When you change it people think something is wrong, so stop getting at me to straighten mine!
    I'm mostly a 3b-c, with a bit of everything else thrown in.
    I'm 17 years old.
    SL when dry.
    I'm kind of CG (occasional sulphate)

    Wash: Miss Jessie's Creme de la Curl Cleansing Creme, Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner, Occasional LowPoo grabbed from a drugstore or Biotera Moisturizing Shampoo (for BAD buildup)
    Condition: Kenra, AOHR, Queen Helene's Cholesterol, Biolage Conditioning Balm, Generic KPak
    ALWAYS Biotera Styling Gel
    Haven't found a leave-in I like yet

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