CurlTalk

Okay, why are you still single?

I am. I need to get it together.

How about you?

Let's celebrate!?
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Comments

  • StarrwithoutniteStarrwithoutnite Posts: 1,732Registered Users
    Im still single because I havent met a guy who melts my heart. Im open but not LOOKING.
    "Someday love will find you...break those chains that bind you!!"


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  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    I am single because whenever I think about going out and trying to meet someone, the idea of my pajamas, my couch, and a glass of wine sounds SO much better.

    In my defense, I'm not antisocial - I just work 80 hour weeks!
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • iaraiara Posts: 1,199Registered Users
    Im still single because I havent met a guy who melts my heart. Im open but not LOOKING.

    Same for me. And add I needed a break. I was a serial dater before and I almost forgot who I was. Right now I am enjoying wooing myself.
    You cannot invite someone to your house in the Hamptons and when she arrives, not let her stay. Tacky. Very Tacky. ~ East Village hipster.

    People in Ward Three disdain three things: cleavage, hunting and dumb people who are richer than they are. ~ David Brooks

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  • leenieleenie Posts: 194Registered Users
    Im still single because I havent met a guy who melts my heart. Im open but not LOOKING.

    Me too! And right now I am trying to concentrate on me and bettering myself.
    "Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it" ~ Bill Cosby
  • RawrSallyRawrSally Posts: 1,388Registered Users
    I've yet to meet someone who I think is worth the effort to pursue. I want that guy who sends my heart into wild palpitations just by standing next to me.

    And since my most recent break up, I'm scared of getting too close to anyone. So relationships are out of the question until I get over that. And I honestly don't have the time to date.

    There are a lot of factors. And I'm cool with being single, I'm actually much happier now than when I was dating someone.
  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    I forgot (well, not really, but you know what I mean). I'm also single because I found that guy who makes you a little short of breath even when you think about him. The one who makes your heart race when you first catch sight of him after even a few hours apart. The one who makes you feel like the two of you will be united against the world, and that together you can make all your dreams come true. It ended for silly reasons and now he's marrying someone else. So I'm still single because it's taken me a year to even kiss someone else without wanting to cry.
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • nadinanadina Posts: 640Registered Users
    i'm getting over someone ultra slowly. no one has done a good job of replacing him. bleh.

    and i work with 100% women and our social networks are pretty limited to each other. that ain't helpin!!!

    oh, and men i have met in bars are not dateable.

    diagnosis complete. :)
  • texascurlytexascurly Posts: 1,967Registered Users
    I'm looking for a good quality man who makes me swoon. I won't settle for less. There are worse things than being alone...being with the wrong man is one of them. I'm just working on myself until he finds me!
  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,175Registered Users
    Not looking and no one awesome has run into me yet.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 39,059 Administrator
    I am trying my best to be that happily single 30 something, but it is difficult doing so when all of your friends are getting married THIS YEAR or are dating really nice guys! Geez! I do have a few single friends remaining, but it still stings everytime a female friend gloats about having found the ONE.

    I meet cool dudes and try to get to know them, but I am so paranoid sometimes. Either I can't help obsessing on thoughts of whether the guy is a killer, or a cheat. I think some of my circumstances and my fear of committing to a guy keeps me single.

    What are my female friends doing differently?

    I can see myself single forever not by choice. I had an aunt that was single and childless all of her life. She seemed happy hanging out with her sister all of the time. The problem with me adopting that way of life is, I don't have a sister.

    I really do need to get it together.
  • j'adorej'adore Posts: 1,966Registered Users
    Cause I'm too hot for my own good?

    Cause I'm crazy?

    Cause no man can handle *all this*?

    Your guess is as good as mine. LOL

    Seriously, I guess I am an ass-backwards commitment phobe and control freak on a very, very deep level.
    "Don't play me...I'm over 30, and I don't smoke weed"
    -Prince

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  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users
    Honestly, I don't know. I divorced at 32-ish, now very nearly 39. I've certainly done my share of dating in the intervening years. I can honestly say I'm ready for a relationship, ready for children [as ready as one can get].

    I'm also very happy just as I am. When I think about being alone indefinitely, I can totally see an upside to it and I'm ok with it possibly happening. I'm not looking for anyone to "complete me," and I don't think there is "The One" out there for anybody.

    I find it best not to think about it too much. I can't and won't live my life waiting for something to come along to make me whole. I'm already whole.
  • IvanitaIvanita Posts: 13Registered Users
    let's see...i found the love of my life and then he decided he wasn't ready for commitment...that ended 2 yrs ago and i'm still looking for somebody that makes me swoon like he did...well not looking at all...i'm waiting for them to find me.

    oh and i still love my ex...i'm a mess...can someone send me a glass of jack and coke :sad8:
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  • CurlyCanadianCurlyCanadian Posts: 10,776Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    Huh! Good question :lol:

    I really like "me" and my life! In fact I love both!!!

    I'm definitely open to something coming along, but not looking at all. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish for myself, before adding to the mix...if that makes sense!
    I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
    Audrey Hepburn
  • BiancaBianca Posts: 2,492Registered Users
    newcurly wrote: »
    I am single because whenever I think about going out and trying to meet someone, the idea of my pajamas, my couch, and a glass of wine sounds SO much better.


    Word.


    I met a guy the other day and I actually keep thinking "Please don't call. Please don't call."

    Because I'm not sure I'm even into him and I don't want to be bothered to find out.


    I would like to be in a relationship. They're good when it's the right person, but when it's the wrong person, they're oh so very very bad.
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  • newcurlynewcurly Posts: 1,310Registered Users
    Bianca wrote: »
    newcurly wrote: »
    I am single because whenever I think about going out and trying to meet someone, the idea of my pajamas, my couch, and a glass of wine sounds SO much better.


    Word.


    I met a guy the other day and I actually keep thinking "Please don't call. Please don't call."

    Because I'm not sure I'm even into him and I don't want to be bothered to find out.


    I would like to be in a relationship. They're good when it's the right person, but when it's the wrong person, they're oh so very very bad.

    Wow. Must be a NY thing. I'm seriously WAY over NY guys.
    "Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
  • AngularScienceAngularScience Posts: 844Registered Users
    Many reasons. My ex ran me through the gutter, and now the girl who was pretty screwed up to begin with is a jaded, cynical being.

    And yet I still want him back.bad-girl-0009.gif Or at least, the old him.

    I'm also a bit of a control freak, too.

    Also, there's no one out there right now for me. And I'm tired of being the one that always pushes relationships forward. Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. I want someone who's willing to chase me.
  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users
    I'm single because I'm attracting just weird people and *******es. I need to take some time for a thorough self-assessment so I can understand what I'm doing wrong before I go forward. :sad8:
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  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,498Registered Users Curl Dabbler
    i still haven't figured it out and i'm going to be 48 in 2 months. never mind all my friends getting married, i don't even have any friends any more and most of the people i know my age have children about to graduate university and start families of their own.

    i'm doomed...
    My blog:

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    Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
  • PartyHairPartyHair Posts: 7,713Registered Users
    I think the whole "control freak" business is a major reason why women are staying single longer. Every woman I know who is single and 30- or 40-something calls herself a control freak.

    I completely understand how that can happen - I was single 'til I was 30, then single again from 34-38. But sometimes you have to let go of that need to control everything and everyone around you.

    (I don't mean that to be condescending or anything, and I apologize if it comes off that way. It's just something that I've observed in most of my many single 30- and 40-something girlfriends.)
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  • redcelticcurlsredcelticcurls Posts: 17,502Registered Users
    I'm holding out for Mr. Darcy... or maybe Captain Wentworth...

    Well, you know what I mean. Why settle? I want someone who respects me, loves me, is sexually attracted to me, and will care enough to help if I am in need. I'd do the same for him and would be attracted to him in the same ways.

    I think that guys just have it too easy nowadays with too many women willing to settle for less just for the sake of having a man that a man will not have a woman who wants a little more out of life.
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  • ninja dogninja dog Posts: 23,780Registered Users
    Oh, Rouquinne, don't say that about yourself.....you're not doomed.....so many men are just morons (see post about dating after 40). Your friends who act smug or drop you once they get married are limited people; women who need men to feel like they're important or valuable. Forget them: you can do better.

    My experience is that it's really hard to find someone who has all the pieces of the puzzle together. (I know I don't!) I've been married once before, and am probably trying it again, although I'm scared as hell to change my life as it is now. That's partly why I'm going forward.....because although the temptation to say, "No, I'm fine, I do love you, you're wonderful, but I just can't do it," exists, I think that's the wrong attitude to have toward life, at least for me.

    So, in answer to the question, why am I still single, I guess my answer is: because up until now, I've just been too scared.

    And, of course, the guys I dated in between "the ones" were dopes (I'm being really diplomatic by using that word).
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    I'm very ambitious and career oriented, having placed those goals ahead of relationships for a very long time. I am also very independent and deeply ambivalent about marriage and children. I'm coming around on marriage (sort of) but still not at all sure about kids.

    Also, I'm a commitment phobe who refuses to settle. For the most part, I like the life I've created and can make it reasonably rich and fulfilling with out a steady, intimate relationship.

    Still, would really like to meet someone worthwhile that I want to be with long term. I definitely want a serious relationship within the next several years, ideally within the next year. But can't seem to find a way for it to happen. Not really trying much either.

    Bottomline - waiting for a miracle :)
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

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  • cyndicyndi Posts: 3,341Registered Users
    If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be single anymore.
    I think that I deceive genius.:happy10:
  • love yourself firstlove yourself first Posts: 5,398Registered Users
    cyndi wrote: »
    If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be single anymore.

    well, we can eliminate *commitment phobe* from your list of potential reasons ;)
    "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
    "I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)

    (taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)
  • ZinniaZinnia Posts: 7,339Registered Users
    ninja dog wrote: »

    So, in answer to the question, why am I still single, I guess my answer is: because up until now, I've just been too scared.

    And, of course, the guys I dated in between "the ones" were dopes (I'm being really diplomatic by using that word).

    Aren't you engaged? (If I have you confused with a different poster, I apologize.) Are engaged people considered single? I realize for tax purposes, you are 'single' but if a person is in a relationship and/or engaged to be married, is that person considered 'single'?
    Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
  • SunshineGrrlSunshineGrrl Posts: 3,823Registered Users
    Because nobody asked me to marry them.

    And uh, it's seriously not a NY thing. It's a UT thing, too.

    Guys are threatened by a female who is strong and self-sufficient here.

    And they're all freaking knuckleheads. Okay, not all. My brothers are awesome (sometimes), my dad is great (hey, he raised me...must be good, right?), and my friends husbands are terrific. Too bad that pretty much takes up all the good men in Utah.

    And one more thing. Men here (I'm totally generalizing, but most of the men I've met) freak out when I say I never want kids. It's just not done in Utah to get married and not have kids. Probably another reason I'm single.

  • younggrasshopperyounggrasshopper Posts: 422Registered Users
    I am single because in order for me to incorporate a man into my life, it would have to be an upgrade. Right now, that would be pretty hard to do.

    There is an interested party and I have been really dragging my feet. He asked, "Who is my competition?" and I told him, "My solitude."
    He said he knew how to compete with men but not with that. Yeah...that is the tricky thing. I am happy and I am not sure you can make me happier. When I find someone who can, I will welcome him with open arms.
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  • g-stringrannyg-stringranny Posts: 2,701Registered Users
    Josephine wrote: »
    Not looking and no one awesome has run into me yet.

    That is so me!
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  • fig jamfig jam Posts: 2,555Registered Users
    I was married for 17 years and have now been single for quite a while. I don't see any advantage in getting married again and haven't met anyone yet who could change my mind about that.

    I don't feel anything missing from my life by being single and I am happy with current state of affairs.

    I enjoy my solitude and freedom!
    "Tell me, are you incapable of restraining yourself, or do you take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all?"

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