Spin off: Bradley classes & emotional signposts

Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
For those who took Bradley classes, did you find the information about emotional signposts helpful while you were in labor? My instructor talked about waiting for the serious signpost to go to the hospital. I can't remember reading about these anywhere else, so I was just curious about your thoughts.

Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Trying to recall...excitement, seriousness, self-doubt. Yes, I would say they are accurate. Early labor is always exciting...you think "wow, it's really starting. This isn't so bad...kinda cool."

    Then it gets serious..."whoa, that hurts, ow ow ow." and you start looking for the exact perfect position that will be the least painful when the next contraction comes and you panic if you haven't gotten into position yet when it starts.

    When my midwife arrived when I was in labor at my homebirth, she saw how serious and hard-working (and sweaty) I was (I was very close to delivery) and the first thing she said to me was: "Have you started to wonder yet why the hell you planned a homebirth?" It was dead on, because I had just been thinking: "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!? I CAN'T DO THIS! I NEED A F*CKING EPIDURAL!!! WHY DID I WANT A BABY ANYWAY?!?!?" So, yeah, self-doubt is very real. I self-doubted right til the very moment that the head popped out. And then all I could think (and say) was "get the rest of it out...get-it-out, get-it-out, get-it-out..."

    And then it was over, phew...biggest relief ever.

    Definitely wait til things are serious before going to the hospital. I even think that's too soon sometimes, because the serious phase can go on for quite a while. Depending on how close one lives to the hospital, it might be better to wait til the self-doubt phase.
  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    I think it depends on your mental state about being pregnant and having a baby. If you want the kid and you're not in denial, depressed, or have other issues about the pregnancy (and to some extent, your partner), then I think those signposts are valid.

    Also, you would need to have a relatively good understanding of your pain tolerance.


    I read the bradley book, but didn't take a class. I found the information to be valuable.
    hello.world.
  • internetchickinternetchick Posts: 6,191Registered Users
    The emotional sign posts weren't helpful to me personally.
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    As a doula, I did not get to see very many natural births, unfortunately (not surprising, since I was employed by the hospital). But I remember one which I count as natural because even though this woman was induced, she was committed to doing it without painkillers and she did. They checked her and told her she was around 6 centimeters and she would probably have a few more hours left. Not long after that, she got really discouraged, said she couldn't do it anymore and that she wanted an epidural. By the time the nurse came into the room, the woman was pushing.

    So in her case, the signpost was true (although the self-doubt was not helped by her being told she probably had hours left to go). And I think this shows why you should limit cervical exams as well!

    This woman definitely went through those emotional signposts and I found it really interesting.
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I didn't know about these before now but they seem accurate. I think it's better to wait not only until the serious phase, but until you are well into it. My serious phase lasted for a good 20 hours.

    ETA - I think I will take a Bradley class or read the book for next time. These sound pretty interesting. I think though my first emotional state was denial. For some reason I kept thinking I was making a big deal over nothing, that it was just some BH contractions, and I kept trying to go back to sleep because I had to work tomorrow. I was getting really irritated that I couldn't get back to sleep, and I was mad that I'd be a zombie at work. :lol: When I still hadn't had any sleep by like 7 am, I called my work and told them I wasn't sure this was it, but there was no way I could come in. And then I was mad at myself for calling out, because I had been trying to save all my vacation for after the baby was born. :lol:
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Bailey, I think that doubting whether or not it's labor can come before the excitement or along with it...I don't have my workbook right now b/c my mom is borrowing it.

    Iris, we talked alot about limiting vaginal exams for that exact reason. My instructor really emphasized that the emotional signposts were a better sign of progress than dilation, and it sounds like that was really the case for your client. Self-doubt is supposed to correspond with transition, so my instructor emphasized that when you feel that, you probably don't have much longer to go (relative to each person, of course).

    RCW, it's interesting you felt self-doubt until the head came out. Supposedly a lot of people feel more calm and confident in the pushing stage, but I was also told that some people don't.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    RCW, it's interesting you felt self-doubt until the head came out. Supposedly a lot of people feel more calm and confident in the pushing stage, but I was also told that some people don't.


    Well...I had a lot of psychological baggage going into my VBAC homebirth. I had had 3 previous c-secs and been told more than once that I had a "too-small" pelvis (proved them wrong...VBAC baby was 9 pounds and c-sec babies that I was supposedly "too-small" to deliver were all only 8 pounds). It's really no wonder I had a lot more doubt than the average birthing woman.

    I didn't particularly love pushing, probably because I couldn't feel the baby moving down, and I felt blocked, stuck, claustrophobic within my own body, so that didn't help my confidence either. In fact, he wasn't moving down. I kept on pushing though and that's when my husband and I really worked together. He helped me push that baby out. I only felt the baby move down on the very last push, and like a key in a lock, I felt him turn and move all the way down the birth canal to crowning in one push. That was cool.
  • marielle448marielle448 Posts: 1,823Registered Users
    yeah I had the whole "that's it, push it back in and I'll try another day" feelings with both births. In fact, I said exactly that during the birth of #2 to my midwife. She's so calm and matter of fact, that it was a good thing she was about 4 feet away from my legs at that time because I seriously felt like kicking her when she said, "sounds like it's time to push!" in all her cheerful glory.
  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    The self doubt was true for me for both babies. With #2 I said "I don't want to do this" and my husband, well-educated wiseass that he is, said "That means we'd just have to come back and do the whole thing again". I was pushing 10 minutes later.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
    I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

    Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I didn't know about these either, (well I had heard of them in birth class but not by that name) but I don't think I really had them or that they were that helpful for me. I had the attitude that I HAD to do it - the baby was coming no matter what and I definitely did NOT want interventions, so I never had self-doubt, wanting an epidural, or anything like that personally.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Bailey, I think that doubting whether or not it's labor can come before the excitement or along with it...I don't have my workbook right now b/c my mom is borrowing it.

    Iris, we talked alot about limiting vaginal exams for that exact reason. My instructor really emphasized that the emotional signposts were a better sign of progress than dilation, and it sounds like that was really the case for your client. Self-doubt is supposed to correspond with transition, so my instructor emphasized that when you feel that, you probably don't have much longer to go (relative to each person, of course).

    RCW, it's interesting you felt self-doubt until the head came out. Supposedly a lot of people feel more calm and confident in the pushing stage, but I was also told that some people don't.

    That would not have worked with me - I never had self-doubt in transition and I actually did not feel transition as this big THING as birth class led me to believe. I don't think my contractions got that much closer together. From the time my water broke to the time I delivered they were always about 2 mins apart. Every labour is different.

    ETA: I also agree with waiting a while into the "serious stage" before going to the hospital, because I also had a long labour. And at the very beginning, I wasn't sure if it was labour, mostly because I couldn't believe it was starting right on my due date, but pretty soon, I knew, because I had regular contractions, and I hadn't ever had Braxton-Hicks before, and I had lost my mucus plug the day before.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    Bailey, I think that doubting whether or not it's labor can come before the excitement or along with it...I don't have my workbook right now b/c my mom is borrowing it.

    Iris, we talked alot about limiting vaginal exams for that exact reason. My instructor really emphasized that the emotional signposts were a better sign of progress than dilation, and it sounds like that was really the case for your client. Self-doubt is supposed to correspond with transition, so my instructor emphasized that when you feel that, you probably don't have much longer to go (relative to each person, of course).

    RCW, it's interesting you felt self-doubt until the head came out. Supposedly a lot of people feel more calm and confident in the pushing stage, but I was also told that some people don't.

    Pushing was the hardest part for me - labour and moving during labour had tired me out, and I pushed for a looooooong time, so I definitely did not feel calm and confident. I was determined to do it, but it was VERY draining and tough. I actually quite liked labour.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Self-doubt is supposed to correspond with transition, so my instructor emphasized that when you feel that, you probably don't have much longer to go (relative to each person, of course).

    Yeah, that was definitely not true for me. When I started feeling like I absolutely can't take any more, I was only 7cm, and didn't fully dialate for like 8 more hours. But I had a very long labor.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • sarah42sarah42 Posts: 4,034Registered Users
    Amneris wrote: »
    I never had self-doubt in transition and I actually did not feel transition as this big THING as birth class led me to believe. I don't think my contractions got that much closer together.

    Amneris wrote: »
    Pushing was the hardest part for me

    Me too. I never felt transition as a distinct stage where it got more intense--it seemed about the same to me as the earlier stage of labor. It wasn't until I'd been pushing for like 1 1/2 hours that I really started feeling like "I can't do this."

    The emotional signposts concept is very interesting to me, however. This is the first time I've heard about it. Maybe I'll get ahold of the Bradley book and read it in the next few weeks.
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  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    sarah42 wrote: »
    Amneris wrote: »
    I never had self-doubt in transition and I actually did not feel transition as this big THING as birth class led me to believe. I don't think my contractions got that much closer together.

    Amneris wrote: »
    Pushing was the hardest part for me

    Me too. I never felt transition as a distinct stage where it got more intense--it seemed about the same to me as the earlier stage of labor. It wasn't until I'd been pushing for like 1 1/2 hours that I really started feeling like "I can't do this."

    The emotional signposts concept is very interesting to me, however. This is the first time I've heard about it. Maybe I'll get ahold of the Bradley book and read it in the next few weeks.

    It's really interesting to hear everyone's different experiences!

    Just wanted to add that my instructor also said that some people have an easier first stage and find the second stage harder vs. experiencing the self-doubt in transition and then feeling calmer in 2nd stage. It sounds like that was true for several of you ladies.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    sarah42 wrote: »
    Amneris wrote: »
    I never had self-doubt in transition and I actually did not feel transition as this big THING as birth class led me to believe. I don't think my contractions got that much closer together.

    Amneris wrote: »
    Pushing was the hardest part for me

    Me too. I never felt transition as a distinct stage where it got more intense--it seemed about the same to me as the earlier stage of labor. It wasn't until I'd been pushing for like 1 1/2 hours that I really started feeling like "I can't do this."

    The emotional signposts concept is very interesting to me, however. This is the first time I've heard about it. Maybe I'll get ahold of the Bradley book and read it in the next few weeks.

    It's really interesting to hear everyone's different experiences!

    Just wanted to add that my instructor also said that some people have an easier first stage and find the second stage harder vs. experiencing the self-doubt in transition and then feeling calmer in 2nd stage. It sounds like that was true for several of you ladies.

    Hmmmm. I wouldn't say first stage was easier or second stage harder - just that I had way less energy by second stage, but they were BOTH intense and long!
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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