I need input from parents of kids with ADHD or similar struggles

I got this email today from my son's teacher.
Hi Leticia,
I just wanted to check in with you regarding Jared. Lately he has had some difficult days. He has not turned in math or reading homework for several weeks straight. He has hit and shoved other classmates numerous times. His actions are rarely made out of anger. When Jared is overly physical with other students, it is usually caused by sudden impulses. I am reluctant to send him to the principal because I know that it is his inability to control himself that leads to these incidents. However, a couple of students have really been hurt by his actions. I sent one behavior slip home to be signed, but Jared has lost it. I have let him know that I would send you a note regarding behavior. When we sat at conference time, we tentatively set up a plan where you would pick him up after school on Wednesdays if he turned in his homework regularly. I introduced the plan to Jared, but it was not effective in motivating him to do homework. In doing research on working with kids with ADHD, and based on your recommendations, I have learned that immediate reward systems are most effective. I have tried some, but they have not impacted Jared’s behavior. I really like Jared. He is smart, funny, and very curious. I want to give you a picture of what I am seeing so that you are aware of his struggles at school. It is the time of year when teachers make decisions about which class to place the students in next year. I have requested that Jared be placed in a straight 4th grade class (no split or multi-age) that is highly structured. I am hopeful that he will be more successful in a smaller environment.
Thanks,
****
I am not sure what to do. I have avoided medication for him up to this point, but I am concerned that his struggles in school will continue to get worse. I am going to set up another appointment with his doctor, and see if there is something else that she can suggest that we do.
Hi Leticia,
I just wanted to check in with you regarding Jared. Lately he has had some difficult days. He has not turned in math or reading homework for several weeks straight. He has hit and shoved other classmates numerous times. His actions are rarely made out of anger. When Jared is overly physical with other students, it is usually caused by sudden impulses. I am reluctant to send him to the principal because I know that it is his inability to control himself that leads to these incidents. However, a couple of students have really been hurt by his actions. I sent one behavior slip home to be signed, but Jared has lost it. I have let him know that I would send you a note regarding behavior. When we sat at conference time, we tentatively set up a plan where you would pick him up after school on Wednesdays if he turned in his homework regularly. I introduced the plan to Jared, but it was not effective in motivating him to do homework. In doing research on working with kids with ADHD, and based on your recommendations, I have learned that immediate reward systems are most effective. I have tried some, but they have not impacted Jared’s behavior. I really like Jared. He is smart, funny, and very curious. I want to give you a picture of what I am seeing so that you are aware of his struggles at school. It is the time of year when teachers make decisions about which class to place the students in next year. I have requested that Jared be placed in a straight 4th grade class (no split or multi-age) that is highly structured. I am hopeful that he will be more successful in a smaller environment.
Thanks,
****
I am not sure what to do. I have avoided medication for him up to this point, but I am concerned that his struggles in school will continue to get worse. I am going to set up another appointment with his doctor, and see if there is something else that she can suggest that we do.
0
Comments
I will check back, I'm pretty sure I'm not in labor yet, but if I don't get right back to this, that might be why.
fotki pw: sunday
My son is in the 3rd grade and every student has a daily planner. I have to sign off on it everyday. I also correspond with his teacher in the planner.
My only personal experience with ADHD was our foster daughter took Adderal (sp?). The difference was very noticeable when she forgot to take it, and there was no way she could go without even on weekends.
My brother was hyperactive when he was young, and while I'm not an expert, I think he could have been diagnosed with ADHD. My mom tried the Feingold diet for him and the change was very noticeable. Especially if he had a trigger food like tomatoes, he was impossible to deal with. A friend of mine put her son on the Feingold diet as a preteen. It helped tremendously, but the damage for him had already been done regarding behavior becoming habit.
My former roommate had a son diagnosed with ADHD, as well as having asthma. She found a doctor that did nutritional testing, had him evaluated and they gave her a detailed list of supplements for him to take. The first 3 weeks he got worse, then suddenly he was a new child. He was evaluated annually and adjustments would be made to the different things he'd have to take.
Doesn't hurt to investigate food & other allergies first just to eliminate any doubt.
I agree with Marielle and Cyn. There's absolutely no harm in eliminating certain foods to see if there's a difference in behavior.
You're a wonderful mom, L. Drugs are a big deal and I think it's very wise of you to explore other alternatives beforehand.
He doesn't have an IEP. I will ask about that.
I just had to mention that my teachers demanded I be put on meds as a child for ADHD. I was violent towards others (mostly provoked) and didn't do homework etc. It was really bad for awhile. Until my parents had be tested at a school at NIH and found that ADHD wasn't the problem at all, I had vision issues and it made everything worse for me. The school refused to help and still demanded the medication. After a year or so of the meds my parents were so pissed (because I had become a vegetable) that they chucked the pills in the trash and never made me take them again. It changed my life.
It's seems your sons school is being a lot more compassionate about the situation I would suggest to take some of the advice offered here and explore all routes so your son can have a solution that really helps.
Nine times out of ten, if there is a problem at school, there is also a problem at home. It is just so frustrating for teachers to see such potential in ADHD students and know that their condition is controlling them.
IC - your son should have an IEP! You can even ask for a one on one aide to work with your son. The constant supervision and encouragement might make a huge difference.
fotki pw: sunday
Agreed, it's just that meds seem to be the prevalent answer from an overburdened school system when I've seen that if the parent is searching for answers a host of other options come up including diet modification, behavioral therapy, etc.
eta: To clarify, I don't think the teachers mean harm to children by recommending meds just that it seems to be the first tangible (sometimes only) change they can recommend. Not many teachers are familiar with or sold on diet modification (ie. fiengold, GFCF, etc.) or with more alternative therapies. That's definitely where a parent who has reached the end of the list of mainstream suggestions suddenly goes on what seems like a neverending search of ideas to try and help their child without some of the developmental and physiological risks of meds.
Thank you all for your input.
That's great news!!! I didn't realize that in your state, an IEP requires the child to be put in special Ed classes. In my state, the goal is to have the child in a regular ed class with some supports, if needed.
I'm glad your son is going to get some assistance. Please keep us updated.
Just to clarify- when I said to discuss a medication trial, I meant to get more information about the possibilities from the doctor before making a decision about meds. I think if you're willing to try diet modification first, it's worth trying. Like with the meds, I've seen diet modifications make a big difference for some kids and not much difference for others. It's really a trial and error until you find what works for your child. The other thing to keep in mind (and you probably have as you're obviously a great mom who is right on top of this) is that a diet change or medication can make it easier for your child to change his behavior, but they won't automatically get rid of learned behavior patterns. That's where the 504 plan, the behavior consultant, environmental modifications, etc come in. He'll still need support to be as successful as possible.
I hope I'm making sense, I had a baby yesterday