"I just loved being pregnant"

sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
I think I'm going to scream if I have one more woman say this to me!

I haven't really enjoyed it at all so far. I'm hoping it gets better. I'm dead tired all the time, I have to force myself to eat because almost nothing appeals to me anymore and I can barely drink half of the water I'm supposed to and my kidney function/bladder/urethra are reminding me of it everyday. I have had severe headaches that last several days. Worst part, I went to a Mother's Day brunch last weekend because some couples my husband works with invited us and the women just couldn't tell me enough horror stories about their births or their babies. People just don't get that I'm not that excited about it. I don't think I was cut out to be a mom!!!!!!!!!!!! :sad8:

The only thing making me feel a bit better right now is that my mom isn't really the "mom-type" and she was a great mother. I'm hoping this all gets better and I can fit myself into this role.
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Comments

  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I don't love being pregnant. There are days where I really don't like it. I have to say, the second trimester has generally been easier than the first, so I hope things will improve for you now that you are almost out of your first trimester. And try to remember that pregnancy is only a temporary state. It's ok not to love being pregnant. It's ok not to like being pregnant.

    And I think you will be a great mom. It's not what you were planning (or at least not so soon), but you will manage and you will love your child and you will figure it out. My mom isn't the motherly type either, and she was a great mom too.

    Hang in there! :)
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  • cypressmomcypressmom Posts: 236Registered Users
    I'm sorry you feel this way. I see that you're just finishing your 1st trimester... you might find that it will get better in the next few weeks.

    I felt like you when I was pregnant with my daughter, but my pregnancy with my son was completely different. Don't let people tell you their horror stories. That's mean. Child birth doesn't have to be painful or horrible. When I was pregnant with my sin I practices hypnobirthing and my labor was beautiful. I can honestly say that it wasn't painful. It's all your state of mind.
    CypressMom
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  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I hated being pregnant too. Just brush it off. You'll get many, many more unsolicited, inappropriate comments before you have this baby.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    What's wrong with someone saying they enjoyed pregnancy? Some love it, some don't. I hear so many "I HATE being pregnant" statements that I find it rather refreshing to hear someone who doesn't hate it.
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I think people say they loved being pregnant more in retrospect. I know that when I was actually pregnant, especially in the beginning, I felt like you did. I had bad morning sickness that kicked in later in the first trimester, just when I thought I was safe, and lasted into the third trimester, and I was so exhausted and anxious all the time. Then when I started gaining weight, I had issues with that. I did love some things - feeling the baby move (which you will probably love too), not getting a period (still loving that), having that "glow", and getting positive attention, but there were a lot of other things that I found embarassing and inconvenient.

    But now, when I look back on it or see other pregnant women, I feel a little nostalgic and envious because the bad stuff seems to fade and I remember the good things and the mystery and miracle of carrying a life in me, and I want to do it again (I guess that is how nature ensures we reproduce more than once!) It is also MUCH easier to be pregnant with your first than to parent them - they are completely safe and provided for while you live your life - and pregnant body isses are nothing compared to post-partum ones, so the inconvenience and discomfort seem like nothing after you've had the child and pregnancy suddenly looks way better!

    I hate it though when women try to scare pregnant women with their labour and delivery horror stories. That's unnecessary. I think they do it partly out of jealousy/envy, partly because society doesn't allow adequate opportunities to process those experiences and partly because they think they are helping you, but they're not. I never do that. I always tell people that I loved my labour and delivery, and I really did. It doesn't HAVE to be a horror story. I used peoples' horror stories to learn what not to do (ie. be wary of inductions and epidurals, don't go rushing to the hospital with the first contractions, etc. etc.)

    I think that once things become more real to you and the baby is born, you'll rise to the occassion of motherhood, your instincts will kick in, and you'll do just fine.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    What's wrong with someone saying they enjoyed pregnancy? Some love it, some don't. I hear so many "I HATE being pregnant" statements that I find it rather refreshing to hear someone who doesn't hate it.


    I definitely plan to love it and enjoy it more next time - that's the gift that my son gave to me. I agree, there is a lot of griping about pregnancy (understandably) but it is such a blessing too, and there are so many people who would love to experience it and can't.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • DelmaDelma Posts: 1,121Registered Users
    The 1st trimester sucked but once that was over, I felt with my 1st son and again with this one that I just don't really feel all that different being pregnant than I do normally.

    But don't let other people make you feel bad everyone's experience is different.
  • KaiaKaia Posts: 8,815Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    sariroo wrote: »
    I haven't really enjoyed it at all so far. I'm hoping it gets better.

    I just wanted to add that it did get better for me. I was also very tired my first trimester. I would come home and go to sleep, get up for an hour or two, and sleep again until morning. My house looked like crap, and I didn't have the energy to do even a little cleaning. Around 16 weeks is when I started actually feeling good again.
    *Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

    Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    i HATED being pregnant. back then i hated it, in retrospect i hated it, and if i ever get pregnant again i'll probably hate it.

    im glad to see more women say they hated it because while i was pregnant everyone said how much they loved being pregnant.

    the only thing i liked about being pregnant was the end result-my baby.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I agree with the others that you might start to enjoy it more once the first trimester is over. I was so tired then too and practically lived on Saltine crackers. Honestly, I know I'm not to the very end yet, but for me so far, the first trimester was the worst part. Then, I felt bad almost all the time, but now I just have moments where I'm tired or achy or whatever, but in between I feel pretty good.

    Also, once I could feel the baby move, pregnancy became a lot more fun.
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Some women love being pg; others hate being pg. And then there's a lot in between.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. Your feelings are totally normal, as there's no right or wrong way to feel during pregnancy. There are plenty of women out there that don't take to pregnancy very well, but are phenomenal moms once the baby comes out of the womb.

    Hang in there and whip out the blinders and earplugs. icon14.gif
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I just think it can be hard when all anyone says to you is that they loved it, instead of being empathetic that you're in your first trimester of an unexpected pregnancy and things are stressful right now. You don't feel well, you're dealing with a huge life change, and then you feel bad because you don't love pregnancy like everyone else apparently did.

    I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy, especially since I am feeling pretty good these days, and I'm sure I'll look back on it with nostalgia like Amneris said. I definitely appreciate that a lot of women would give anything to be in my shoes. But there are still days where it is hard, physically and emotionally, and I don't enjoy it. That's nothing to feel bad about.
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  • geekygeeky Posts: 4,995Registered Users
    I really enjoyed my first pregnancy, but my second one kicked my ass. Not the first trimester so much but the third was really rough on my body. So after that experience I can see how some women hate it. State of mind and situation is one component but how you feel physically is a huge part of it too. After my first one I really did not understand where the pregnancy h8rs were coming from, but now I understand.
    To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
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  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I think I just feel so bad about it because I would like it to be better and it is not. Everyone assures me that I will start feeling better soon and I really hope that is true. Like Bailey said about her pregnancy, my house is a mess, I have no energy to do anything except go to work on the days I'm scheduled and since I basically have to come home, go to bed and get up and go back to work early the next morning, I spend my days off catching up on much needed sleep instead of cleaning and cooking and stuff. I actually cried to my husband the other day that I'm homesick (for my parent's home - I haven't felt like that since I left there seven years ago!).

    I think the weather is not helping at all. We have had so many rainy days when it should be warm and sunny. Makes it kind of depressing. I decided that I am finally going to sit down today and start making a quilt I have been gathering fabric swatches for for about a year. I'm just going to modify it and make a baby quilt. That may help my spirits and get me a little more into baby mode.

    I just wanted to vent. Thank you guys for listening and giving your opinions and advice. Normally, I would just call my mom and cry to her but then she would just worry about me needlessly. I know things are going to be okay, today is just kind of a "down" day.
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  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    You're tired because your body is busy growing a baby! That's a huge job and the most major and important thing your body has ever done up to now. Take the fatigue as a sign that you need to rest as much as you can and don't feel guilty about it! Cooking and cleaning the house are just not as important right now - and probably won't be for a while after baby is born, too. If it really bothers you, get your husband/family/friends to help (more), or see if it is in the budget to hire someone. But don't worry about it yourself. Also, you might become one of those women who nest later in pregancy and go nuts cleaning (I've heard they exist.... :wink: )
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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  • webjockeywebjockey Posts: 2,786Registered Users
    sariroo wrote: »
    I think I just feel so bad about it because I would like it to be better and it is not. Everyone assures me that I will start feeling better soon and I really hope that is true. Like Bailey said about her pregnancy, my house is a mess, I have no energy to do anything except go to work on the days I'm scheduled and since I basically have to come home, go to bed and get up and go back to work early the next morning, I spend my days off catching up on much needed sleep instead of cleaning and cooking and stuff. I actually cried to my husband the other day that I'm homesick (for my parent's home - I haven't felt like that since I left there seven years ago!).

    I think the weather is not helping at all. We have had so many rainy days when it should be warm and sunny. Makes it kind of depressing. I decided that I am finally going to sit down today and start making a quilt I have been gathering fabric swatches for for about a year. I'm just going to modify it and make a baby quilt. That may help my spirits and get me a little more into baby mode.

    I just wanted to vent. Thank you guys for listening and giving your opinions and advice. Normally, I would just call my mom and cry to her but then she would just worry about me needlessly. I know things are going to be okay, today is just kind of a "down" day.

    First trimester also sucked major goose eggs for me. This time around, not so much. Bad weather makes it even worse. I swear it has to do with the atmospheric pressure, or humidity or something that makes my allready achy pelvis even achier.

    One thing I learned from the first time around is to take advantange of the kindness of others, because it's fleeting once the baby becomes the star of the show. Time to cash in those offers for foot rubs, meals and more ! :evil1:
    hello.world.
  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    The first trimester of my first pregnancy also kicked my ass. I never have really liked being pregnant, but I did find that whatever comes up in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters were much more manageable than that first trimester fatigue. If nothing else, that should start to diminish in a few weeks and you will at least feel like you can accomplish something without the overwhelming urge to sleep. Hang in there.
  • briccagrlbriccagrl Posts: 540Registered Users
    I know exactly how you feel. I am about 9 weeks pregnant with my first and I am miserable. I have absolutely no energy and my house is a disaster (which is stressful for me because I usually keep the house pretty clean). Same as you eating is very difficult for me..I have not had morning sickness but I am definately having a hard time eating..very few things appeal to my appetite. I was so upset tonite when I got home from work and realized pretty much all my flowers outside have died because I dont even have the energy to take 5 minutes to water my flowers.

    That being said I am hoping that it does get better like everyone says. Hang in there....your not alone.
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  • cosmicflycosmicfly Posts: 1,814Registered Users
    I had a hard time eating during the first trimester if my first pregnancy as well- I found that I could easily eat very cold fruit, especially melon and frozen berries. Maybe try something light like that. Also, I'm normally not a soda drinker and I know it's bad stuff but I found myself craving soda during all 3 first trimesters, and if I drank a little (again, very cold), I found I'd be able to eat. I actually think some of the nausea I experienced the first time around was because I was very hungry but didn't eat because food had so little appeal.
  • Brown_Eyed_GirlBrown_Eyed_Girl Posts: 1,353Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    In my childbirth classes, they said that starting the day with some protein can help nausea. Looking back, I did go through a stage where I ate an egg on toast every morning for breakfast (after getting up slowly with Saltines :)).

    Also, ginger can be very calming for the stomach. You can find ginger capsules or ginger tea at the health food store. Peppermint tea can be soothing also.
  • rainshowerrainshower Posts: 4,420Registered Users
    sariroo wrote: »
    I think I'm going to scream if I have one more woman say this to me!

    I haven't really enjoyed it at all so far. I'm hoping it gets better. I'm dead tired all the time, I have to force myself to eat because almost nothing appeals to me anymore and I can barely drink half of the water I'm supposed to and my kidney function/bladder/urethra are reminding me of it everyday. I have had severe headaches that last several days. Worst part, I went to a Mother's Day brunch last weekend because some couples my husband works with invited us and the women just couldn't tell me enough horror stories about their births or their babies. People just don't get that I'm not that excited about it. I don't think I was cut out to be a mom!!!!!!!!!!!! :sad8:

    The only thing making me feel a bit better right now is that my mom isn't really the "mom-type" and she was a great mother. I'm hoping this all gets better and I can fit myself into this role.

    if you are in your first trimester, you may find that all of the things that are making you miserable now, will subside in the second trimester.

    and even if they don't, it's ok that you don't like being pregnant. some women's bodies and chemistries are more sensitive than than others so that the nausea, tenderness, food and smell aversions, fatigue, frequent urination, etc., make their entire pregnancy not a happy experience.

    if this is the case for you, try to do as many things as you can that are fun for you to take your mind off of your physical symptoms. and if it's anxiety and worries about becoming a mother that trouble you, talk them out with your loved ones. i have a What to Expect When ..." book for each of my babies, and i used the month-by-month journal in the back of the books to document everything i was feeling, from the moment we found out to after delivery. when i reread some of those things, not everything i was feeling was bliss. sometimes writing down your feelings can be a great outlet for your emotion when you don't have anyone you can confide in.

    i do hope your symptoms become lessened. :love1:
    "Dogs stink too, but I like dog stink." ~ rileyb
  • SpiderSpider Posts: 3,381Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I apologize, I missed your "announcement" thread, but Congratulations Sariroo! :wink:
    Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
  • WileE-DeadWileE-Dead Banned Posts: 24,963Banned Users Curl Neophyte
    Oh, yeah, sure...it was great after the first trimester & before the last month... lol
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    Ever since the sports thread wars I have sensed a special connection between [edit] & Wile. Like the connection oil has to water. I almost can't speak of it. Wait....my eyes are misting. ~asq
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  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    I had a lot of food aversions in my first trimester as well. It was really hard to get myself to eat sometimes. But I promise, that goes away. Now all I do is eat...and eat...and eat some more.
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  • geminigemini Posts: 3,325Registered Users
    I thought it was a neat experience, but I wouldn't say I "loved" being pregnant.

    I certainly don't miss the unsolicited comments people like foisting on pregnant women. :)
  • deezee02deezee02 Posts: 1,509Registered Users
    I loved being pregnant, yeah I complained a lot a time, but over all it was a GREAT experience for me. Now, on the flip side, I really did not love being a new mom after Steven was born.
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  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    Although I'm one of those women, I really hated the fact that nothing tasted good to me. I'm a total foodie, so that was really tough for me. :lol:
  • Scuba GalScuba Gal Posts: 383Registered Users
    geeky wrote: »
    I really enjoyed my first pregnancy, but my second one kicked my ass. Not the first trimester so much but the third was really rough on my body. So after that experience I can see how some women hate it. State of mind and situation is one component but how you feel physically is a huge part of it too. After my first one I really did not understand where the pregnancy h8rs were coming from, but now I understand.


    I am kind of in this camp... I wouldn't say I am hating this last trimester but it is definately kicking my ass. I had the easiest pregnancy with Maggie- honestly if I hadn't peed on a stick and then been handed a baby 9mo later, I would have hardly known i was pregnant. I was up and around even almost a week late and it barely phased my body at all.

    This time- I don't know if it is being a little older, chasing after a toddler at the same time, or I am just carrying totally different and different hormones because it is a boy- but I am totally over it now. I am tried, super emotional, my back hurts all day long, I can't sleep, I pee every 2 hours, all night long, I have a million stretch marks (I had zero with Maggie).... the list is never ending- not to mention I am HUGE- with my first I was still getting the comments that 'no way could I be due yesterday'- now- you are still 3wks away!?!? Like I have 3 in there or something..

    anyway. Rant over. 30 days and counting.......
  • marielle448marielle448 Posts: 1,823Registered Users
    medussa wrote: »
    Although I'm one of those women, I really hated the fact that nothing tasted good to me. I'm a total foodie, so that was really tough for me. :lol:

    Isn't that the truth! I've learned not to bother getting too adventurous in the kitchen when pregnant because my sense of taste and smell are so off. Not to mention that the cravings are so disappointing because the minute I take a bite it wasn't what I thought it would taste like.

    I've enjoyed being pregnant past the first trimester. Even this time which had me with morning sickness much longer than the usual 1-2 weeks with the boy pregnancies. That first trimester though is just a bunch of barely getting by, feeling exhausted and not wanting to do anything when I wasn't tired.

    With #1 I spent the whole pregnancy wondering what I would be like as a parent and how my day to day reality would change. With #2 I spent the pregnancy worrying how I would possibly be able to love him as much as I loved his older brother. This time around I'm not worrying as much and just enjoying the pregnancy for the current moment.
  • sariroosariroo Posts: 1,958Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    UPDATE! Things are looking up! I'm not so tired anymore...I was actually able to get out of bed before 8:00 for the past few mornings when I wasn't working. I also have been eating more...nothing used to look good and now everything looks good! I even ate lunch twice at work yesterday. I need to slow down because I will really start packing on the pounds soon.

    I kind of had a weird breakthrough the other day. I had a checkup and throughout the whole thing I couldn't stop crying. I was finally able to tell the doctor and my husband in very certain terms that I have been depressed. It really made my husband stand up and notice. The doctor wanted to start me on antidepressants but I refused. I can function without them at this point. And since that day, I have started to feel better about things. I guess it really is going to get better!
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