What would you do in this situation?

nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
Yesterday, my sis-in-law and her family came over for Mother's Day to swim and cookout. She has three children (ages 9, 6, and 4).

A few months ago, the older ones cleaned out their stuffed animal collection and gave a bunch of them to my daughter. She plays with some of them, but she's not especially attached to them or anything.

I noticed the middle daughter sneakily handing her older sister one of the stuffies she'd given to Danae. I say sneakily because this child has not one problem normally asking for things. She's very bold and not shy at all if she wants something. Now, Danae didn't really play with this toy, but it bothered me because I don't think it's right to 1.) give something to someone and take it back (though I know it's not unusual for kids to do this sometimes) and 2.) take something from someone's home without asking for it first.

I asked my hubby and he said, "Well, maybe she just got confused and thought she left it here." I don't think that's the case, because, again, she's a pretty vocal kid most of the time and would have just said, "Auntie, I found this in Danae's room." She was being "sneaky" in that kid way where they think they're a super-spy but it's completely obvious what they're doing.

I guess I should have said something at the time, but they were all leaving and I didn't want to cause a ruckus after the fun time we'd had. Do you think I should address this with her mom? My sis-in-law and I are fairly close, but she gets a little defensive about her kids (especially her middle one), which, again, I realize is pretty normal. However, I would 1.) want another mom to tell me if my kid did this so I could address it with her and 2.) not want my niece to think it's acceptable to take things from my home without permission.

So what would you guys do? Am I being irrational?
"Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Since your daughter didn't like the toy anyway, I wouldn't bother saying anything. Some things in life just aren't worth making a fuss about. A 6 year old who wants her stuffy back is one of those non-fuss-worthy things.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    ITA with RCW. If your daughter didn't care too much in the first place, then I wouldn't say anything. Esp. if your SIL gets defensive when you talk about her kids and all of that. I would jsut let it go.
    :rambo:
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    I guess so...I realize this is probably my own weird issue anyway. I have a thing about boundaries...LOL. However, I still say that if my kid did it, I'd want to know.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • KrazyblondegurlKrazyblondegurl Posts: 1,008Registered Users
    Don't make an issue of it.

    She's six, she saw her old stuffed animal, and decided she wanted it back.
  • subbrocksubbrock Posts: 8,212Registered Users
    the next time your SIL passes down toys from her children just say no thank you. when she asks why tell her because her kid keps swiping the toys back. but nicer. :)

    that way you get to inform her of whats going on without looking like youre informing her of whats going on.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    Don't make an issue of it.

    She's six, she saw her old stuffed animal, and decided she wanted it back.

    I don't have a problem with her wanting it back...I have a problem with her not asking first.

    Anyway, I'll let it go for now. As long as it's not a pattern, I guess it's not that big a deal. I'll just make sure to teach my kid that it's not nice and let others teach their kids whatever.
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    subbrock wrote: »
    the next time your SIL passes down toys from her children just say no thank you. when she asks why tell her because her kid keps swiping the toys back. but nicer. :)

    that way you get to inform her of whats going on without looking like youre informing her of whats going on.

    :toothy7:subbrock, you crack me up!
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie
  • CGNYCCGNYC Posts: 4,938Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Maybe no one asked her if she wanted to give it up?

    At the time, I might have asked if she'd changed her mind and said something about it being ok, but it's always right to ask before taking things. After the fact, for a toy your child isn't even interested in and won't miss, I'd just let it go.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Maybe no one asked her if she wanted to give it up?


    That's what I was thinking too. Lots of mom ditch toys when kids are at school, or tell them they have to get rid of stuff, even if they don't want to. I would have just given it back to her at the time if I had seen her.

    We've been through this with my nephew...a few times he wanted his toy back when he saw it at our house, so I just gave it to him. It wasn't worth an unhappy kid, and, frankly, my kid understood his cousin missing the toy and happily gave it up.
  • nynaeve77nynaeve77 Posts: 7,135Registered Users Curl Novice
    CGNYC wrote: »
    Maybe no one asked her if she wanted to give it up?

    Actually, it was her idea. She and her sister really adore my daughter and they wanted to give her some toys.

    Anyway, it's not the end of the universe. It's not like my kid doesn't have any toys now!
    "Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas


    My fotki: http://public.fotki.com/nynaeve77/
    Password: orphanannie

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