Spinoff: Depression might be contagious

SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
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Comments

  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    They had to do a study to figure this out? I remember my mother telling me when I was a kid that "attitudes and moods are catching". I believe it. If one person in a house is a crankypants, everyone gets cranky.

    Depression is so "in style" these days. Everyone compares their sadness and their pharmaceuticals. It's not surprising to me that depression is so epidemic in a land where we have so much.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Misery loves company.
    :rambo:
  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    rcw, i agree with you. it saddens me to think it's "in fashion" but when someone might actually have an episode, they're a freak.
    2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

    letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
  • 'moptop''moptop' Posts: 438Registered Users
    I think many things are contagious. It is why parents warn/forbid kids against befriending the neighborhood problem child, bad kids, loose girls...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "My favorite president is President Obama." ---six year old quoted by the Washington Post during a president Bush YMCA visit
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    Yeah, no big surprise there. I live with someone who I'm not sure is depressed, but definitely has periods of extreme sadness and moodiness where he doesn't know why.

    It's really hard to be patient and maintain a somewhat positive demeanor when another person is miserable. It's not like they can just "cheer up" or "get over it" immediately, so you end up riding it out with them for however long it takes.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    So many of you agree with the headline, but the article backs dramatically away from that claim if you read the whole thing.

    There is mention of a genetic predisposition being in place for actual clinical depression to develop in these situations. And they don't address causality at all: do depressed people make other people depressed, or are depressed people drawn to each other to begin with?

    Further, the college roommates they mention didn't develop clinical depression from being paired with a depressed roommate. They just mimicked some behaviors and felt a little blue.



    At any rate, on a personal level, this was not at all true of me and my ex-husband. He was actually my anti-depressant and kept me sane for many years! Then our marriage ended and I had to find the regular kind of anti-depressant.

    I also have a friend who is bi-polar and her husband is emotionally quite healthy.

    I have befriended people and dated men whom I later learned were suffering from depression. I've done this enough times to start sitting up and taking notice. I've realized that I am drawn to these types of people without even realizing it.

    It has become a conscious effort on my part to seek out those with more upbeat attitudes. And it goes against my very nature to do so. It is what I very purposefully did when I met my ex-husband. My not truly being drawn to him is why we later divorced.

    These days, I don't necessarily find my depressive friends bringing me down, because my own depression is being treated successfully. My attitude these days tends to be that of the mentally healthy: frustration and confusion as to why anyone would wallow like that. Even though I did it myself for years, I have to really reach within myself to empathize.



    I have to say, I find cavalier attitudes toward depression extremely disturbing, like saying it's "in style" as RCW does. Comments like that only serve to minimize someone's suffering.

    It's a serious disease which almost killed me and and hurt many of the people I love, directly and indirectly. :cry:

    If you've never suffered so, a) consider yourself lucky and b) please keep your judgments to yourself. They're not helping and they very likely are hurting. The last thing a depressed person needs is to have their feelings dismissed summarily. It's an act of cruelty to do so, whether you realize it or not. Take it from someone who knows firsthand.

    I realize some of the comments may have been directed at those who are believed to be feigning depression to get attention. But as none of us is omniscient, as far as I'm aware, I think it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt. :?
  • automaticflowersautomaticflowers Posts: 3,465Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    If you've never suffered so, a) consider yourself lucky and b) please keep your judgments to yourself. They're not helping and they very likely are hurting. The last thing a depressed person needs is to have their feelings dismissed summarily. It's an act of cruelty to do so, whether you realize it or not. Take it from someone who knows firsthand.

    I realize some of the comments may have been directed at those who are believed to be feigning depression to get attention. But as none of us is omniscient, as far as I'm aware, I think it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt. :?

    Okay, I admit I didn't read the article and responded instead to the title of the thread. Caught. :confused3:

    Anyway, I hope my post wasn't taken as disrespectful of those who do suffer from depression. The reason I said I don't know if he's depressed is because he won't seek an opinion from a professional. Not because I think he's just trying to get attention.

    I can't imagine what it's like to actually experience depression, but it is painful to watch someone you love be affected by it. You want to help, but you really can't.

    To address the article's idea, I don't think his moods have a permanent effect on my own disposition. And I can't say if I'm naturally drawn to this type, because we've been together pretty solidly since high school.
  • younggrasshopperyounggrasshopper Posts: 422Registered Users
    Thoughts regarding depression being "in fashion":

    I am a happy person. I am quite bubbly and joke about not only seeing the glass as half full but generally hallucinating that it is all the way full.

    I have found that people think that means I have no depth. People (who I am now good friends with) have openly told me that they weren't sure there was much depth to me because if I had really been through anything hard it life, if I really understood, I would not be the way I am. Now they know differently

    I don't like being thought of as "not deep with little life experience" but I am also not willing to give up the happy part of me.

    The truth of the matter is I have been through a whole heck of a lot in my short years...way more hardship than many people experience (and way less than others). And people are surprised when they find out. I do think it has given me wisdom, insight, compassion, and strength. And at one point, yes, depression (although that was from an auto immune disease and not circumstance). But for some reason because it didn't suck the hope and joy out of me....people don't count it. Should I be depressed to keep up with everyone else?

    No. I refuse to keep up with trends. Excuse me while I stare at my full cup.

    ETA: I just read additional comments and wanted to say that I totally understand depression. I have been medicated. I have an understanding and a respect for it- in both circumstantial and down right chemical/genetic/whatnot cases. I just also see it from the other side of the fence.
    HCC + Kenra Condish + Biotera Gel and Leave In + diffusing = beautiful 3A spirals :)
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    wild~hair wrote: »
    So many of you agree with the headline, but the article backs dramatically away from that claim if you read the whole thing.

    There is mention of a genetic predisposition being in place for actual clinical depression to develop in these situations. And they don't address causality at all: do depressed people make other people depressed, or are depressed people drawn to each other to begin with?

    Further, the college roommates they mention didn't develop clinical depression from being paired with a depressed roommate. They just mimicked some behaviors and felt a little blue.



    At any rate, on a personal level, this was not at all true of me and my ex-husband. He was actually my anti-depressant and kept me sane for many years! Then our marriage ended and I had to find the regular kind of anti-depressant.

    I also have a friend who is bi-polar and her husband is emotionally quite healthy.

    I have befriended people and dated men whom I later learned were suffering from depression. I've done this enough times to start sitting up and taking notice. I've realized that I am drawn to these types of people without even realizing it.

    It has become a conscious effort on my part to seek out those with more upbeat attitudes. And it goes against my very nature to do so. It is what I very purposefully did when I met my ex-husband. My not truly being drawn to him is why we later divorced.

    These days, I don't necessarily find my depressive friends bringing me down, because my own depression is being treated successfully. My attitude these days tends to be that of the mentally healthy: frustration and confusion as to why anyone would wallow like that. Even though I did it myself for years, I have to really reach within myself to empathize.



    I have to say, I find cavalier attitudes toward depression extremely disturbing, like saying it's "in style" as RCW does. Comments like that only serve to minimize someone's suffering.

    It's a serious disease which almost killed me and and hurt many of the people I love, directly and indirectly. :cry:

    If you've never suffered so, a) consider yourself lucky and b) please keep your judgments to yourself. They're not helping and they very likely are hurting. The last thing a depressed person needs is to have their feelings dismissed summarily. It's an act of cruelty to do so, whether you realize it or not. Take it from someone who knows firsthand.

    I realize some of the comments may have been directed at those who are believed to be feigning depression to get attention. But as none of us is omniscient, as far as I'm aware, I think it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt. :?



    I know there are people who are truly clinically depressed. However, I think there are a whole lot more people who are just following the SSRI trend. Sorry, but that's what I've seen, and that's what I think.
  • curlylauracurlylaura Posts: 8,352Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    In the Emo 'oh-woe-is-me' sense? More than likely.

    In the clinical sense? No.

    I suppose in a way, saying you suffer from depression is now a bit like saying you're allergic to something. There are people who are genuinely depressed, just as there are people who are really allergic to things. And then there are people who see it as 'fashionable' to be depressed/allergic etc.
    Fat does not make you fat. It's actually pretty important.
  • MunchyMunchy Posts: 5,206Registered Users Curl Novice
    moptop wrote:
    I think many things are contagious. It is why parents warn/forbid kids against befriending the neighborhood problem child, bad kids, loose girls...

    I love that term - it cracks me up every time! :lol:
  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    curlylaura wrote: »
    In the Emo 'oh-woe-is-me' sense? More than likely.

    In the clinical sense? No.

    I suppose in a way, saying you suffer from depression is now a bit like saying you're allergic to something. There are people who are genuinely depressed, just as there are people who are really allergic to things. And then there are people who see it as 'fashionable' to be depressed/allergic etc.

    ITA.
    2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

    letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
  • SnarlsSnarls Posts: 2,537Registered Users
    I'll tell y'all what's contagious, BAD TEETH, that's what. And I don't mean genetic, I mean they're catching.

    We've got about 9 people in our department, and within a 6-week period, four of us had unexpected root canals.

    Cohinkydink? Oh, please.

    Endodontic conspiracy? Now you've got my attention, but we were all diagnosed and treated by different people.

    We don't have a department candy jar and we're all different ages. I haven't figured out how the bad tooth syndrome travels, but I know it exists.
    formerly Castella
    (my dogs aren't snarly, my hair is)
  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    :tongue5: i did like how the article mentioned depression in the title but then talked about bipolar like it was the same thing...

    wild~hair, i think it's funny how the article does the bait and switch - "well you cant reeeeeeeeeally catch depression.."

    the people that think depression is fashionable are the people that think it's cool to be depressed. (not "hey cool i found a diagnosis!")
    2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

    letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
  • AmnerisAmneris Posts: 15,117Registered Users
    I think that, while there are depressed people who fit wild hair's post who are really and truly mentally ill, the pharmaceutical companies are also trying to sell anti-depressants to people who may not be clinically depressed. There are so many commercials for drugs like Paxil that give the impression to some people that if you're feeling a bit down, blue or out-of-sorts, even if that is totally to be expected (say, right after a breakup or a lay-off) you should go to your doctor and ask for an anti-depressant. As my daddy has said, most doctors would be hesitant to say no or ask too many questions because they don't want it on their conscience if the person really is depressed and commits suicide. So, there definitely are people on those drugs who don't need to be, as well as those who definitely do. But I agree with wild hair about giving people the benefit of the doubt.
    Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali


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    534Pm5.png





  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    wild~hair wrote: »
    So many of you agree with the headline, but the article backs dramatically away from that claim if you read the whole thing.

    There is mention of a genetic predisposition being in place for actual clinical depression to develop in these situations. And they don't address causality at all: do depressed people make other people depressed, or are depressed people drawn to each other to begin with?

    Further, the college roommates they mention didn't develop clinical depression from being paired with a depressed roommate. They just mimicked some behaviors and felt a little blue.



    At any rate, on a personal level, this was not at all true of me and my ex-husband. He was actually my anti-depressant and kept me sane for many years! Then our marriage ended and I had to find the regular kind of anti-depressant.

    I also have a friend who is bi-polar and her husband is emotionally quite healthy.

    I have befriended people and dated men whom I later learned were suffering from depression. I've done this enough times to start sitting up and taking notice. I've realized that I am drawn to these types of people without even realizing it.

    It has become a conscious effort on my part to seek out those with more upbeat attitudes. And it goes against my very nature to do so. It is what I very purposefully did when I met my ex-husband. My not truly being drawn to him is why we later divorced.

    These days, I don't necessarily find my depressive friends bringing me down, because my own depression is being treated successfully. My attitude these days tends to be that of the mentally healthy: frustration and confusion as to why anyone would wallow like that. Even though I did it myself for years, I have to really reach within myself to empathize.



    I have to say, I find cavalier attitudes toward depression extremely disturbing, like saying it's "in style" as RCW does. Comments like that only serve to minimize someone's suffering.

    It's a serious disease which almost killed me and and hurt many of the people I love, directly and indirectly. :cry:

    If you've never suffered so, a) consider yourself lucky and b) please keep your judgments to yourself. They're not helping and they very likely are hurting. The last thing a depressed person needs is to have their feelings dismissed summarily. It's an act of cruelty to do so, whether you realize it or not. Take it from someone who knows firsthand.

    I realize some of the comments may have been directed at those who are believed to be feigning depression to get attention. But as none of us is omniscient, as far as I'm aware, I think it's best to give them the benefit of the doubt. :?

    My comment was more tongue in cheek. I have dealt with depression for years, starting when I was around 19. I still go through some very low times, including suicidal times, and so on. Depression is a very serious illness for some, and some people rarely know the true warning signs.

    I don't neccessarily think that it's "in style" to have some kind of disorder, especially depression. It actually makes me sad to think that people "play" like they have it, when there are people who seriously are ill.
    :rambo:
  • medussamedussa Posts: 12,993Registered Users
    They had to do a study to figure this out? I remember my mother telling me when I was a kid that "attitudes and moods are catching". I believe it. If one person in a house is a crankypants, everyone gets cranky.

    You've posted that your husband suffers from depression and you've also posted that you rarely feel depressed or down. How do you manage to escape "catching" it?
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    medussa wrote: »
    They had to do a study to figure this out? I remember my mother telling me when I was a kid that "attitudes and moods are catching". I believe it. If one person in a house is a crankypants, everyone gets cranky.

    You've posted that your husband suffers from depression and you've also posted that you rarely feel depressed or down. How do you manage to escape "catching" it?


    I'm kinda stubborn. I refuse to get caught in the trap of looking at my glass as half empty. I have SO much good fortune in my life, and I take time to appreciate it daily.
  • CGECGE Posts: 1,911Registered Users
    I'm kinda stubborn. I refuse to get caught in the trap of looking at my glass as half empty. I have SO much good fortune in my life, and I take time to appreciate it daily.

    Kinda stubborn? :wink:


    I definitely notice when I'm depressed or cranky it affects my husband's mood.
    I used to have a signature but it disappeared and I just couldn't be bothered writing another so please feel free to ingore this.
  • M2LRM2LR Posts: 8,630Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    medussa wrote: »
    They had to do a study to figure this out? I remember my mother telling me when I was a kid that "attitudes and moods are catching". I believe it. If one person in a house is a crankypants, everyone gets cranky.

    You've posted that your husband suffers from depression and you've also posted that you rarely feel depressed or down. How do you manage to escape "catching" it?


    I'm kinda stubborn. I refuse to get caught in the trap of looking at my glass as half empty. I have SO much good fortune in my life, and I take time to appreciate it daily.

    For many people who deal with depression, simply refusing to get caught up in it, isn't that easy. Looking at the good fortune just doesn't work. It's like saying, "Why are you depressed? Just get over it." My husband has made those comments, along with comments in regards to my anxiety, "Why are you freaking out? It's not a big deal."

    Hence the reason I have gotten pretty good at hiding both the depression and the anxiety...which isn't neccessarily a good thing either.
    :rambo:
  • younggrasshopperyounggrasshopper Posts: 422Registered Users
    M2LR&Co. wrote: »
    medussa wrote: »

    You've posted that your husband suffers from depression and you've also posted that you rarely feel depressed or down. How do you manage to escape "catching" it?


    I'm kinda stubborn. I refuse to get caught in the trap of looking at my glass as half empty. I have SO much good fortune in my life, and I take time to appreciate it daily.

    For many people who deal with depression, simply refusing to get caught up in it, isn't that easy. Looking at the good fortune just doesn't work. It's like saying, "Why are you depressed? Just get over it." My husband has made those comments, along with comments in regards to my anxiety, "Why are you freaking out? It's not a big deal."

    Hence the reason I have gotten pretty good at hiding both the depression and the anxiety...which isn't neccessarily a good thing either.


    I am going to agree with this. When I was depressed, I tried to "mind over matter" it for so long that I was really really really sick by the time I started taking action. I was young (14) and would make "rules" for myself like "you have to smile at least 5 times today." Seriously. When I finally told my mom I was not doing well, she thought I was making it up because I had been faking it so well. When everything finally spilled out and was boiled down- I. needed. prozac. The truth was that looking at the "up side" wasn't going to fix it, because in my situation nothing was wrong. I was chemically and mentally SICK.
    HCC + Kenra Condish + Biotera Gel and Leave In + diffusing = beautiful 3A spirals :)
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    M2LR&Co. wrote: »
    medussa wrote: »

    You've posted that your husband suffers from depression and you've also posted that you rarely feel depressed or down. How do you manage to escape "catching" it?


    I'm kinda stubborn. I refuse to get caught in the trap of looking at my glass as half empty. I have SO much good fortune in my life, and I take time to appreciate it daily.

    For many people who deal with depression, simply refusing to get caught up in it, isn't that easy. Looking at the good fortune just doesn't work. It's like saying, "Why are you depressed? Just get over it." My husband has made those comments, along with comments in regards to my anxiety, "Why are you freaking out? It's not a big deal."

    Hence the reason I have gotten pretty good at hiding both the depression and the anxiety...which isn't neccessarily a good thing either.



    I do agree that for clinically depressed people, just being stubborn is not going to work. But for the people who seem to be "catching" it...yeah, I think one can be stubborn enough not to be affected by living with someone with depression.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Anyway, I hope my post wasn't taken as disrespectful of those who do suffer from depression. The reason I said I don't know if he's depressed is because he won't seek an opinion from a professional. Not because I think he's just trying to get attention.

    I can't imagine what it's like to actually experience depression, but it is painful to watch someone you love be affected by it. You want to help, but you really can't.

    Not to worry, I wasn't addressing you, I was addressing RCW. :wink:
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    wild~hair wrote: »
    Anyway, I hope my post wasn't taken as disrespectful of those who do suffer from depression. The reason I said I don't know if he's depressed is because he won't seek an opinion from a professional. Not because I think he's just trying to get attention.

    I can't imagine what it's like to actually experience depression, but it is painful to watch someone you love be affected by it. You want to help, but you really can't.

    Not to worry, I wasn't addressing you, I was addressing RCW. :wink:


    Ah...so this is the thread that has you all aflutter with me tonight. Got it...
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Sleigh wrote: »
    :tongue5: i did like how the article mentioned depression in the title but then talked about bipolar like it was the same thing...

    Yeah, haha, I noticed that too. It was a fine piece of journalism.
    Sleigh wrote: »
    the people that think depression is fashionable are the people that think it's cool to be depressed. (not "hey cool i found a diagnosis!")

    Yeah, 'cause suffering depression is sooo much fun. Anyone who's so misguided clearly has no direct experience with it at all. :thumbdown:

    My nephew, who's a little ADHD, kept declaring he was depressed at Easter Sunday dinner. Everyone there knows I have been treated for this and still live with it. We were all :? I'm not sure where he got that. He clearly didn't mean it, he was quite buoyant that day. He can be an odd kid sometimes, but then ... is this maybe an expression he picked up at school or something?
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    M2LR&Co. wrote: »
    My comment was more tongue in cheek.

    I know, I remember your particular situation. I thought your comment was apt and my "dissertation" wasn't aimed at you.
  • SleighSleigh Posts: 1,226Registered Users
    possibly - it's kinda cool to be "depressed". like other posters have said - it gives you more depth. generally thought of as more artistic too.

    see emo, goth, scene...

    and yeah. real depression is messy. and ugly. and destructive. and awful. and you dont look cool when you have it - no matter how "in style" it is because you cant have real conversations. or function. chances are you will be less attractive due to some physical manifestation.
    2c hair. maybe a little porous? my hair likes suave, vo5 and the big tease. going to be trying more lush soon. not sure how i feel about dr bronners.

    letting my hair be natural again after getting it straightened. yeah yeah, im a traitor :pirate:
  • merynmeryn Posts: 1,807Registered Users Curl Novice
    I don't think depression is contagious.. that sort of simplifies the disease to an almost insulting level. I mean, diabetes and cancer aren't contagious, ya know?

    I do however believe that indivduals do gravitate to what is familiar, comforting.. I wonder how many of us had a parent or important caregiver that was depressed, and we end up with SOs/husbands/friends that are depressed? The whole co-dependency thing comes to mind.

    It's not that simple.
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I mean, diabetes and cancer aren't contagious, ya know?


    Well...that's not exactly true either...

    Cervical cancer most certainly is contageous. Type I diabetes is thought to be caused by a virus, and no one knows how that virus gets around, but it's possible it can be caught by susceptible persons.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    Sleigh wrote: »
    possibly - it's kinda cool to be "depressed". like other posters have said - it gives you more depth. generally thought of as more artistic too.

    see emo, goth, scene...

    Yeah, but he's like 7! [Sorry, I should have mentioned his age.]

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