"You need to lose the Tia/Tamara hair"

Yup, I was given a long speech over the weekend by a 30 year old man on why I need to straighten my hair.
Apparently my curly hair is the following:

Unsophisticated
Unprofessional
Makes me look too young
Unkempt
Like it could end up in someone else's food because it's too big
Needs to be cut to my ears if I'm going to wear it curly

He said that he is just being honest and basically stating what the world thinks when they look at my hair! I just told him I'm not relaxing my hair for anyone. Next time I see him at church, I'm wearing it big and out with no gel. And will stand right next to him and run my fingers through it while he's eating his donuts. Chump
Curlies add me on myspace!

www.myspace.com/agilruth
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Comments

  • GoddessCurlsGoddessCurls Registered Users Posts: 1,537
    I don't believe he said that! What nerve! I am sure I would have said a heck of a lot worse than you did. You were right to keep your cool...I couldn't have. Did you ask for his opinion? That it just crazy, I would never offer unsolicited negative advice on someone's appearance.
    ________________________
    http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

    Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Registered Users Posts: 3,135
    WHAT.

    I admit I wasn't the biggest fan of their show, but it was the writing. I thought their hair was amazing.

    Classic projection of issues onto another person in my opinion.

    UnKEMPT? You are a member of a hair forum where we do nothing but talk about how to KEMP it. Pfft.
  • shellynotshellynot Registered Users Posts: 1,140
    Men. :angry7:
    2c/3a
    curl blog
    curl album


    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)

  • LadyNoaLadyNoa Registered Users Posts: 320
    this man has a lot of nerve!!! my god.. if i were you i indeed would go to church wearing my hair as fluffed and poofed as possibly can and sit right next to him, look at him, shake my hair and smile like you were saying "how about this for unkempt and Unsophisticated"
    Hairtype: 3A/3B
    Co-Wash: Enliven (Raspberry)
    Conditioning: Nubian Heritage Conditioner, Enliven , KCKT
    Leave In: Shea Butter Leave In, Mixed Chicks, (trying) GDLI
    Styling: L'Oreal Invisi FX gel, Blended Cutie Down and Out Styles,Jessicurl RR & CCSS, CK, (trying) Pink Boots & KY(waiting for CK to arrive)
    Currently: Experimenting.
  • CurlyinColoradoCurlyinColorado Registered Users Posts: 3,093
    Chump is right, pay him no mind. He's prob just trying to get your attention and has no idea how to go about it.

    Besides, where does he get off talking like at church?!? He needs to go back to Sunday School.
    2b/3a.
  • NottyNotty Registered Users Posts: 1,456
    Absolutely unbelievable how cruel some people can be. "He said that he is just being honest and basically stating what the world thinks when they look at my hair!" Did he say that at Church - he mustn't have been listening to the part about "Do onto others as you would have done unto you".

    Of course he probably thinks he's the 'hair expert' for the whole world. Guess he hasn't heard of diversity - that if we all had straight hair how boring life would be! Frizz it up and flaunt it!
    :toothy7:between Botticelli & Corkscrew curly-very thick, coarse hair
    http://public.fotki.com/notty6



    When I get to be 'Queen of the World', I will absolish WIND!!!:queen:
  • myCeliamyCelia Registered Users Posts: 195
    What a nincompoop! Pay him no mind. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!
    What's working: MOP-C Hydrating Shampoo roots only EOD, Elucence Moisture Balancing conditioner or Biolage Conditioning Balm; style with Innersense Quiet Calm Curl Control, and the AMAZING KCCC!
    http://public.fotki.com/myCelia111/
    2'ish, fine/medium ii, non-porous hair.
  • hopetocurlhopetocurl Registered Users Posts: 1,280
    myCelia wrote: »
    What a nincompoop! Pay him no mind. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!


    :laughing3: I haven't heard the word nincompoop in the LONG time...but it's perfect to describe this guy. Nincompoop!!
    Currently, using JC HCC, Too Shea, CK and CCSS, RR or LOOB or MOP-C.
    CK is the one!!

    as of 6/17/10 - I have to add Joico!

    Pics at: http://public.fotki.com/hopetocurl/
    pw:wheredacurls

    We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names and each is a different color. But they all have to learn how to live in the same box. ~Anonymous

    Life is full of oxymorons....and morons too. ~hopetocurl
  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Registered Users Posts: 1,294
    Aw, that totally sucks! What a jerk! Why do people feel like they have the right to say things like that to you?! Grrr! I will ask you when I want your advice!

    If I didn't get so flustered when people say things like that to me, I would have said something like, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't understand a word you said. I don't speak neanderthal," and then walked away.

    But I usually just scrunch my face and say nothing.

    :(

    He'll get what's coming to him! Maybe all of his hair will fall out and then he'll for damn sure appreciate hair of all types!
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • AlcyoneAlcyone Registered Users Posts: 22
    :disgust: That is just beyond rude.
  • msgibletmsgiblet Registered Users Posts: 5,825
    I just looked at your fotki. Your hair is gorgeous! He's not only a nincompoop; he's a blind nincompoop!
    http://public.fotki.com/msgiblet/ - pw: gibber -- Pics Added 7/10/11
    Fine, Thick, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity

    Countess Balashi of Divi Beach in the Order of the Curly Crusaders :occasion5:

    If I'm Going To Have A Bad Hair Day, It Might As Well Be In Aruba!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MissDMissD Registered Users Posts: 83
    Tia and Tamara have gorgeous hair when they wear it curly! You have very pretty hair, don't pay any attention to him.
  • SunderellaSunderella Registered Users Posts: 89
    First of all, you have to die for curls and they are beautifully kept! Second, I would have a serious chat with this dude, who does he think he is, in CHURCH no less!!!! He is an ugly hidious person, yes and I mean on the inside!

    All I can say is my parents always taught me when people put others down like this, they are truly so miserable within thier life that they like to try and drag others down with them.

    Smile, look at all the friends and support you have, he is going to be a VERY lonely human being!
    2c/3a Fine Blonde/Silver
  • Gemini13Gemini13 Registered Users Posts: 5,000
    What a freakin' jerk! And is he some kind of mind reader or something, how does he know what "the world" thinks? Some people are so full of themselves. They're usually full of something else too...
    Brooklyn, NY

    Hair: 3A/B, Underlayer of 2B
    HG products:
    Winter- Giovanni Tea Tree (co-wash) & 50/50 (condish); Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Leave-In; Curls Milkshake & Quenched Curls; Re:coil; BRHG
    Summer: DevaCurl No Poo & OneC; CK; Re:coil; BRHG; Honey!!!

    fotki pw= crrrls
  • LoloDSMLoloDSM Registered Users Posts: 3,778
    What a rude and offensive man. Your hair is gorgeous and he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.
    Loose botticelli curls and waves
    No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
  • brdudeonbrdudeon Registered Users Posts: 66
    This person said all of that to you at CHURCH? I think I'd remind him that you are wearing your hair in the way that GOD intended since HE is the one who gave it to you.
    Lots of medium to fine, extremely porous and color damaged hair.
    Suave Tropical Coconut for co-wash
    Bed Head Tigi Moisture Maniac
    FX Curl Booster Fixative Gel
    Gel

    CG since November 2007
    Slowly growing out the color damaged hair. I'm halfway there!!:p
  • NottyNotty Registered Users Posts: 1,456
    brdudeon wrote: »
    This person said all of that to you at CHURCH? I think I'd remind him that you are wearing your hair in the way that GOD intended since HE is the one who gave it to you.
    Wow - That says it all! Way to go brdudeon!
    :toothy7:between Botticelli & Corkscrew curly-very thick, coarse hair
    http://public.fotki.com/notty6



    When I get to be 'Queen of the World', I will absolish WIND!!!:queen:
  • USCRNUSCRN Registered Users Posts: 15
    Your hair looks great! If he thinks that is "unkempt" then he might have a heart attack if he saw how crazy I can get my hair!
    I like the reply about God making you that way!:wink:
    2b wavy hair
    Haven't found a routine yet- seems to change every (other) day!
  • BotticelliBabeBotticelliBabe Registered Users Posts: 1,574 Curl Neophyte
    Woohoo Deon! You hit the nail on the head!! Great to finally see you here, BTW! :wink:

    And kindred, I don't have anything new to say that anyone else hasn't already said, but I just wanted to tell you that he's a pompous creep who has absolutely no right telling ANYONE else how to wear their hair, much less telling you that he knows what the ENTIRE WORLD is thinking when they look at you.

    As a member of the entire world, I'm offended that he's telling people what I think.

    You're beautiful, baby! *MUAH!*
    BB

    35ncsigpic-vi.jpg
    http://www.BotticelliBotanicals.etsy.com
    BSL/Mid Back, thick 3a/b

    Botticelli Botanicals Meringue
    Botticelli Botanicals Smoothie
    Botticelli Botanicals Styling Mudd w/ double avocado oil and double agave
    Botticelli Botanicals Lime in the Coconut Butter
  • msjananimsjanani Registered Users Posts: 624
    Let me at him!! :evil1:
    3A low/medium porosity, medium texture

    Current products:
    Stylers: HE Tousle Me Softly, Condition 3-in-1 Mousse
    Conditioners: Terax Crema, Mill Creek Botanicals Henna Conditioner
    Cleanser: DevaCurl NoPoo

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/theevolutionofcurl/
  • shellynotshellynot Registered Users Posts: 1,140
    mowry2.jpg

    apparently he didn't know he was giving you a compliment!!!!
    2c/3a
    curl blog
    curl album


    "Your head is like a crown on you.
    It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
    Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
    I am captured by your flowing curls."
    Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)

  • Rubber BiscuitRubber Biscuit Registered Users Posts: 1,294
    shellynot wrote: »
    mowry2.jpg

    apparently he didn't know he was giving you a compliment!!!!

    holy gorgeous curls! :blob7:
    - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    - Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.
  • nieceypoonieceypoo Registered Users Posts: 104
    What an ASS.:thumbdown: I can't believe you didn't slap him upside his head...it would have taken a whole lotta self control on my part if that was said to me. And how does he know what the whole world thinks, the fool...that is just so laughable and pathetic that he would even think of saying something as stupid and ignorant as that. To think he said it at church, of all places. What a hypocrite.:thumbdown:

    BTW, I love your hair...it's beautiful.:wink:
    I LOVE my curls...finally! :toothy4:
    3b

    Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner
    VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Conditioner
    Boots Curl Creme - Pink
    Herbal Essences Set Me Up Gel
    Herbal Essences Set Me Up Spray Gel
    L'Oreal Pro Nutri Gloss Conditioner for curly hair
    Shampoo Bars
  • shorty63136shorty63136 Registered Users Posts: 3
    Oh, NO he didn't! The NERVE on that guy! And in church no less!

    There's nothing unkempt or unprofessional about curly hair. Straightening is a personal preference (unless you have straight hair, I guess) and has a tendency to damage curly hair!

    Here, let me get my little bag of pebbles here so he can KICK ROCKS!
  • CandycaneCandycane Registered Users Posts: 291
    may b u should do the hair flip too...that would drive him nuts. i think i would have have to laugh if some guy were to tell me that-wouldnt b able to take him seriously.
    BTW-your hair looks amazing
  • l.deonl.deon Registered Users Posts: 235 Curl Neophyte
    Please, Sometimes church folk are the worst folk! LOL. Just smile and tell him that you'll pray for him. God gave you those curls and his work is nothing less than utter perfection.
    3B Mod CG
    Medium texture/ Normal to low porosity / High density

    Current Routine:

    Shampoo- GTTT, GVP Paul Mitchell Tea tree Shampoo or ACV/ Baking soda (once a week)
    Co wash- Trader Joes Nourish Spa
    Leave in- Shea Moisture Shea Butter leave- in, Elucence
    Gel- BRHG

    Holy grail combo Feb 2013: ISO Bouncy Creme with BRHG on top! :blob3:
  • lapushkalapushka Registered Users Posts: 601
    Chump is right, pay him no mind. He's prob just trying to get your attention and has no idea how to go about it.

    I agree.

    If you let anything he said influence you, by either straightening your hair or by fluffing it up even more, he'll get just what he's after: a reaction to what he said to you. I think he wants to see his words have an effect on you, whatever that effect is. If you would just go about your business like always and do nothing to change yourself because of his silly little opinion... then you'd show him that his opinion really doesn't matter. That's the best way to go about this IMMHO. Ignore the guy completely, that'll hurt.
  • sunshowersunshower Registered Users Posts: 229
    i bet he was bald. :wink:

    jerk... ignore him, your hair is gorgeous.
    --Tiffany--
    *Reformed PJ*
    3c/4a - coarse and super thick, APL when curly, somewhere around WL when stretched
    http://public.fotki.com/hokukoroku/ - i never update. shame on me :(

    Last Relaxer - January 30, 1999
    BC - March 21, 2000

    Currently using: AO HSR & GPB conditioners, Vatika Oil, SheaMoisture, homemade African Black Soap shampoo & hair lotion.
  • Riot CrrlRiot Crrl Registered Users Posts: 3,135
    Oh no! I am afraid that Tia and Tamara's curls are going to fall off the screen and into my food!

    Sheesh. :P

    Technically, straight hair is more likely to shed, well, straight out. Curly hair is more likely to cling to its fallen homies until we next detangle it. So I call that the shedding argument is completely bogus, and that's only considering natural straight vs. curly hair. Relaxed or flatironed hair just breaks and sheds more.
  • KitaraKitara Registered Users Posts: 1,224
    Seriously? People actually say things like that? Sheesh! I love love love looooove curly hair. Well, hate mine, but love everyone elses. :love5:
    Riot Crrl wrote: »
    do nothing but talk about how to KEMP it. Pfft.
    hehehehehe

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