For the love of God, please help me!!!

mzimelmzimel Registered Users Posts: 9
Okay, so, I grew my hair out for almost 2 years, and - not knowing at the time how bad this was - washed it almost every day. Finally, about 6 or 7months ago, I couldn't take the big, frizzy fro I had and I cut almost all of it off. I also stopped washing it every day (mostly doing the CO-wash I had heard of here) and have been trying to grow it out ever since.

However, it seems to be growing so slowly and - even worse - as frizzy as ever! In fact, I find myself wearing a hat almost every day either to hide away my hair or to kinda flatten it down later - which probably isn't good for it!

I didn't use to have dry hair when I was younger, though. I had long, kinda wavy hair, and, after shaving my head for a few years (from about 6 years ago to 3 years ago when I started growing it again), have found it to grow back in with the texture of straw. It's always a big, uncontrollable, dry mess and I don't know what to do!

I have lately been using Tresemme conditioner ("Smooth and Silky for damaged and dry hair") and shampoo it around twice a week (although, I recently read that I should stop shampooing altogether - is this true?).

So, what should I do? I've read everything from putting eggs and honey in my hair to trying out specific conditioners and I'm so confused. Also, one side of my hair seems to grow in half as thick as the other - and is twice as bad for frizz!

What do you guys/gals recommend to soften, repair, strengthen, and speed up the growing of: hair? And, really, I'll do the most effective thing you can suggest! It really has surpassed regular "frizzy" and become like straw.

Thanks very much.

(Also, sorry for the LONG, LONG post! I wasn't sure what info you needed to know, so, I tried to give as much as possible.)


  • midgimidgi Registered Users Posts: 2,409 Curl Neophyte
    Are you using a leave-in conditioner or moisturizing your hair at all? Or do you just wash it, condition it and just let it dry?

    Sounds like you could use a good deep treatment too. Try deep conditioning your hair with a good conditioner and add a little honey to it.

    It isn't bad to shampoo your hair, but the sulfates found in that Tresemme shampoo you're currently using may be drying out your hair. Try looking for an alternative.

    Trust me, it sounds like you've had nice long hair before so it's very likely it'll grow back. You just need to keep it moisturized and try protective styles like a braid or bun for now. And there's nothing that'll make your hair grow faster that it wants to.
    I just want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
  • mzimelmzimel Registered Users Posts: 9
    I don't mean to sound dumb, but, could you explain that all to me a bit more? I've heard of leave-in conditioners, and I can take a stab at that one: I suppose I leave them in as opposed to washing them out. I shall have to try that. Do you know any good brands as opposed to Tresemme (which I didn't know contained bad stuff and do very much appreciate the info)?

    However, how does one "deep condition" or "moisturize"? I've always just washed with shampoo, then conditioned and I never knew there was more to it then that.

    Sorry about my dumb questions. It's just that I'm a guy, and, while that isn't an excuse, I have extremely limited knowledge in the universe of hair products/up-keep. I mean, I have enough trouble trying to keep up with "guy-stuff". :p

    I absolutely appreciate the info. Thankyou.
  • guitargirl75guitargirl75 Registered Users Posts: 11
    I use olive oil for a deep condition about once a week or so. (Yep, the olive oil you cook with!) I just put the olive oil on the ends of my dry hair, put on a shower cap for about 30 minutes, then rinse it out and wash, etc. like normal.

    I don't know how you feel about using gel (my DH hates putting anything in his hair), but putting a little bit of gel in your hair while it's still wet might help cut down on the frizz.
  • TwoMoonsTwoMoons Registered Users Posts: 754
    I'm not sure how to get rid of frizziness but my hair has grown fast because I take Prenatal Pills (multivitamins) once everday and I have showing improvement. I also heard the Flinestone Vitamins also work.
    :coffee::bunny::cat::headbang:OTAKU 4 LIFE!!!!

    "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.”

    I <3 Cats!
  • AlcyoneAlcyone Registered Users Posts: 22
    Jumping in with a vitamin suggestion to help speed up the hair growth - biotin seems to really be making my hair grow like wildfire. You can get it in various strengths, but I've heard complaints that it doesn't seem to help in the smaller doses, so I recommend 5000mcg (5mg).

    As for the frizz, I absolutely agree with everyone's advice: deep treatments and frequent conditioning. I've just recently started to get my hair back in good shape and moisture has definitely been the key.

    Good luck!
  • mzimelmzimel Registered Users Posts: 9
    Thanks very much, all.

    One last question though: Do you guys knows of any really good conditioners and (especially) leave-in conditioners that do not contain the harmful sulfates, -cones, etc?

  • AlcyoneAlcyone Registered Users Posts: 22
    The Jessicurl conditioners are great for intense moisture and even though they're not specifically made for leave in, I know a lot of people use them for that, even the deep treatment. You can get Jessicurl either at Curlmart or at her website (

    I also like John Masters Citrus & Neroli and Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose. The Aubrey has a bit of a cloying floral and sunscreen smell that some people find objectionable, but it fades quickly once it's in your hair. It's great for extremely dry hair and priced better than the others, but I thought I'd better mention the scent, especially since you're a guy. They sell the John Masters at Curlmart and you can get the Aubrey at The Vitamin Shoppe or natural food stores.

    I've also heard great things about Shea Moisture, Oyin Honey & Hemp and Curl Junkie Hibiscus & Banana but I haven't used any of those personally (yet!).

    Hope that helps!
  • ibraidhairibraidhair Registered Users Posts: 343
    Try not shampooing the length. Massage a small amount of shampoo into your scalp, but don't take it below your ears. That way the shampoo won't dry out the ends. I can't do the no-poo thing, but this is a great alternative that many long-haired people use.
  • multicultcurlymulticultcurly Registered Users Posts: 5,136 Curl Connoisseur
    I know you're a guy but the book Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey is a good starting point. Until your hair regains moisture, don't use shampoos containing sodium lauryl or laureth sulfate, which are most drugstore brands. Scrub your scalp with a Suave Naturals conditioner as you would with shampoo.

    There are conditioners specifically meant to leave in, but some of us, myself included, use rinse-out conditioner as a leave-in. You could use the Suave Naturals brand but you will probably have to add a little olive oil to make it more moisturizing.

    I don't know what your budget is but online you can order Elucense or [buylink=]Jessicurl Too Shea[/buylink]. These are both good for dry hair and they don't have strong feminine scents. The salon, Regis, may still sell their own brand of an olive oil conditioner. Even Paul Mitchell's The Conditioner or Artec's moisturizing conditioner are worth a try.

    When you get out of the shower, don't rub your hair with a towel. Leave some conditioner in. Soon you will be able to tell when you have enough. Your hair will lay right and not feel dry (not enough) or limp (too much). Put a little gel in. Dove, L'oreal and Garnier have decent, inexpensive ones.

    Next, take a towel or paper towels and gently squeeze excess water out of your hair. Your hair may form into waves/curls. If not, use your fingers to form curls. After this, hands off until it's dry. Otherwise, you'll have major frizz.

    I know this is long, but you seem to need the advice.:wink:
    3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
    HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
    Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
  • ElithiaElithia Registered Users Posts: 297
    A cheaper conditioner option - that works for me - is Vo5 moisture milks. I'm pretty sure there are no nasty -cones in them. My dad (a 2b/3a) uses them too. ;)
    Proudly CG since 8/10/06 - the story of my hair!
    Type: 3a/b, very thick
    Length: almost BSL wet
    Products: Suave coconut conditioner, coconut oil, Totally Twisted gel

    Don't forget to be awesome!
  • pigreyhoundpigreyhound Registered Users Posts: 764
    You may want to go to the Jessicurl website and read some of the advice she gives there for curls and washing/conditioning. She also has a great video on how to control the curls so they don't frizz. I know it is a lot of fussing and maybe more than you want to do, but I imagine any improvement to your routine will help your hair.
    The Curly Girl book has some good recipes in it for Deep conditioning treatments, and if you look on the forum for recipes in CurlTalk, you might find some that will work for you. I especially like the avocado/coconut milk Jessicurl recipe.
    Sounds to me like if you use a more gentle shampoo and conditioner, or maybe go conditioner only which is what many of us do here, AND put a bit of a good gel (Bioterra is a good one, I think.) when your hair is really wet, that should help your hair. I know many women on the site use Suave coconut conditioner and swear by it.
    Growing out my curls. White hair, fine to medium texture but a lot of it. Low to medium porosity. Botticelli curls -- 2c/3a mix. My hair loves protein.
    CG since '08.

    Cleanser: (Summer) Beautiful Curls Nurturing shampoo or Kathymack's soap bars
    Co-wash: TJ Nourish
    Protein: CJ Repair Me
    Styling products: (Summer) BB Styling Mudd
    Gel: (Summer) BRHG, Upper Management gel.
  • mysteryflavoredmysteryflavored Registered Users Posts: 1,271 Curl Novice
    mzimel wrote: »
    It really has surpassed regular "frizzy" and become like straw.

    Straw, huh?

    Try something protein-free. The TREsemme stuff you're using has silk protein at the very least (can't find an ingredients list, but it's marketed as being formulated with silk). Straw-like hair is a huge symptom of protein sensitivity.

    So, to add on to what everyone else says:

    1. No shampoo. Scrub your scalp with your fingers and a light conditioner (Suave Naturals work well -- avoid ones with silk or milk protein).
    2. Moisturize with a protein-free conditioner. If you can stand something flowery, I recommend Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose conditioner, available at Whole Foods or health food places (like Vitamin Shoppe).
    3. Leave some conditioner in. The AOHR scent may be too much, so you can probably leave in some Suave.

    As for supplements, I've heard good things about biotin, MSM, and a bunch of others. Scan the Growing Out board for more tips.
    Location: North NJ or NYC
  • mzimelmzimel Registered Users Posts: 9
    Sorry about the long absence, guys. Regardless, you guys are the best. Thank you all so much! I'm currently trying most of your advice and will post my findings for those in the future who may benefit from such knowledge.

    Thanks guys and gals!

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