help! my mom wont stop :(

Readi2Bcurlie

she insists on combing and brushing my daughters hair. I havent gotten to the store to get her products yet and it's pissing me off. I've told her many times that it's not good for curly hair and she's not hearing me and shes going and asking other people. she's all "i asked them and their baby has long hair and it's brushed" she doesnt get it, that Im talking about the texture of her hair and that the brush also breaks my babys hair off. she says my cousin had pretty hair, but her hair was really frizzy because of the brush she just wont listen! and now shes tellin me she doesnt care what i say she's still going to do it. AHH! what to do?

I've showed her pics of different fotki's and now it's "different strokes for different folks" ugh

Riot Crrl

Glib answer: show her this.

Serious answer: I'm disturbed that she feels she can veto your decisions about your daughter's care in this way. It might be an issue more serious than breakage.

nynaeve77

She's your baby...bottom line. You need to be very firm (not nasty or rude, but serious) and let her know that this is the way you want things done. There is no excuse for her to disregard your wishes, and she needs to understand that she can't just "do it anyway". YOU'RE the mother!

ETA: I agree, Riot Crrl...the issue is deeper than just hair. Not to sound pissy, but grandma needs to be put in her place.

funkedisco

This may seem like a stupid question but...does your mother think brushed out frizzed hair looks good?

Readi2Bcurlie

I know and she just doesn't seem to understand that "my baby my way" she threatened to not do her hair anymore, but I dont think she believes when I say "please dont" id rather no one in her hair but me at this point, she thinks Im just listening to people online and that all of you have this GREAT hair and Im tying to tell her the pix of the people I showed her have the same texture of hair as me and my daughter and their's are only taken care of. I don't know if she thinks frizzy hair is cute (lol) but I think she just thinks brushing the hair will make it grow because she's asking people who's children have long frizzy hair, all she see's is that they have long hair and not that the texture could look better if only they stopped brushing it. I've showed her plenty of pix, she finally said she wont brush it anymore, but she said that last time. she gets on my nerves

FrizzBgone

Riot Crrl wrote: »

Glib answer: show her this.

Serious answer: I'm disturbed that she feels she can veto your decisions about your daughter's care in this way. It might be an issue more serious than breakage.

OMG I never say that before ... Hats off to RCC ... talk about a picture being worth a thousand words!

susancnw

Maybe sometime when neither of you is angry? Tell her that you are trying to be patient with her, but you are trying something different with her hair and you have to keep starting over again anytime she takes a brush to your baby's hair. See if you can get it to leave it for 60 days and see what a difference that can make. And if she doesn't let up - tell her that you don't to hurt her feelings but she has GOT to stop brushing your daughter's hair. Oh yeah. How old is your little one? Teach her to say, No brush gramma.

SoaringSiren

I wonder if she ever had problems with her mother insisting on raising you a certain way when you were a baby. If she has, I bet she didn't appreciate it just like you don't appreciate what she's doing to your daughter now.

She's your little girl, your words should be final.

curlycherry28

I have had the same problem with my mother and my sons aunts with combing and brushing my one year olds hair. Luckily my mother finally got it and his aunts would never because they know I would kill them. They tell me its disgusting and I say look how beautiful his locks look and they are shiny and moisturized. You need to have a serious talk with your mother and tell her you appreciate her help but you feel very strongly on how you care for your little ones hair. Afterall your daughter can't voice her opinions for herself yet so it is up to you. Our parents are set in their ways, but hopefully she will back off once she sees that is really irritates you. Good luck nannas can be impossible.
http://public.fotki.com/curlycherry28