Been talking to a guy and just found he's on dontdatehimgirl.com!

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  • HeatherNicoleHeatherNicole Posts: 1,316Registered Users
    Gemini13 wrote: »

    Actually, he did drive me kind of crazy for a while, thankfully I eventually got over it...

    Ain't that the truth.
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  • JosephineJosephine Posts: 14,408Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    Why this guy stayed with her as long as he did is beyond me!


    Because he was part of the crazy, no matter how innocent he looked. Sorry, but it's never just one person...takes two to tango as they say...

    I sooo agree.
  • KrazyblondegurlKrazyblondegurl Posts: 1,008Registered Users
    I'm not sure I'd advise asking him about it...because then you're gonna look crazy too for googling him. Ya know?
  • gekko422gekko422 Posts: 4,869Registered Users
    The last email I got on Match was signed
    First name Last name (for googling purposes)

    I thought that was pretty funny.
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  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,737Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    gemidevi wrote: »
    What happened to "innocent until proven guilty" and second chances?


    around here...

    men are ALWAYS the bad ones!
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  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    I always do a quick Google search on the men I go out with.

    Why wouldn't anybody, in this day and age?
  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    rouquinne wrote: »
    gemidevi wrote: »
    What happened to "innocent until proven guilty" and second chances?


    around here...

    men are ALWAYS the bad ones!


    I disagree. I admitted that I was a part of my ex's craziness, and someone else did too. I did some crap I NEVER would have done if I hadn't been hanging around him for so long, but I still have to own what I did. I don't think one person is ever to blame in a split...it's usually both people's fault, even if it is sometimes skewed more to one side or the other.

    I still contend that nice guys don't usually leave a trail of revenge-seekers. Maybe one crazy ex could be in their past, but two or more is a trend.
  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,737Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    i made that statement from personal experience that i posted about right here several years ago and everyone told me i was nuts to believe the guy, that i was to take the word of the woman who sent me an email claiming to be his live-in girlfriend.

    every single last person said that the woman was the credible person and i should cut the guy loose.

    EVERY ONE.
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  • HeatherNicoleHeatherNicole Posts: 1,316Registered Users
    Wildhair- I will second that.

    Redcat- The same thing with me. I did things that I knew I wouldn't normally do had I not have been with him. I encouraged his actions with my own and vice versa.

    However, we've talked a couple times since the break up and he's still convinced it was my fault- despite me explaining it takes 2 to make a break a relationship.

    I don't need someone that's too proud to admit they're wrong anyway.
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  • RedCatWavesRedCatWaves Posts: 31,259Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    rouquinne wrote: »
    i made that statement from personal experience that i posted about right here several years ago and everyone told me i was nuts to believe the guy, that i was to take the word of the woman who sent me an email claiming to be his live-in girlfriend.

    every single last person said that the woman was the credible person and i should cut the guy loose.

    EVERY ONE.


    So, now that you've had a couple years to ruminate, how did that advice work out for you? Which one was credible?
  • iris427iris427 Posts: 6,002Registered Users
    rouquinne wrote: »
    i made that statement from personal experience that i posted about right here several years ago and everyone told me i was nuts to believe the guy, that i was to take the word of the woman who sent me an email claiming to be his live-in girlfriend.

    every single last person said that the woman was the credible person and i should cut the guy loose.

    EVERY ONE.

    I know what you mean. I posted once about how my SO has trouble getting along with his sister and they fight a lot and I got a lot of responses about how I probably didn't really know my SO and he is probably an abusive a$$hole.
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  • rouquinnerouquinne Posts: 13,737Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    oh, i knew he was.

    a couple of years later, some mutual friends of M's and mine were visiting Ottawa on business and R told me that this woman had been arrested for uttering death threats against M's ex-wife and children.

    i asked him if her name was Patricia and he just looked at me in amazement. it was the same woman.
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  • afrosheenqueenafrosheenqueen Posts: 5,400Registered Users Curl Connoisseur
    I disagree. I admitted that I was a part of my ex's craziness, and someone else did too. I did some crap I NEVER would have done if I hadn't been hanging around him for so long, but I still have to own what I did. I don't think one person is ever to blame in a split...it's usually both people's fault, even if it is sometimes skewed more to one side or the other.

    I still contend that nice guys don't usually leave a trail of revenge-seekers. Maybe one crazy ex could be in their past, but two or more is a trend.

    I agree with every word.
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  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    I always do a quick Google search on the men I go out with.

    Why wouldn't anybody, in this day and age?

    It's one thing to google someone...and another to start asking them questions about what you found via google.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell
  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    KCL wrote: »
    wild~hair wrote: »
    I always do a quick Google search on the men I go out with.

    Why wouldn't anybody, in this day and age?

    It's one thing to google someone...and another to start asking them questions about what you found via google.


    Good point, It very well could be a googleganger. I couldn't even begin to count the number of hits DH's name came up. There are 3 people in my small town with his name, and no relation right down to the middle initial. And I am apparently an author, a reporter, a 16 year old girl, and the wife of a man who got caught driving drunk taking me to the hospital while in labor.
  • EliciaElicia Posts: 881Registered Users
    wild~hair wrote: »
    I always do a quick Google search on the men I go out with.

    Why wouldn't anybody, in this day and age?
    ha i looked up a guy who asked me out once and found him on the cook county correctional website . I called him back and cancelled :shaking:
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  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    KCL wrote: »
    wild~hair wrote: »
    I always do a quick Google search on the men I go out with.

    Why wouldn't anybody, in this day and age?

    It's one thing to google someone...and another to start asking them questions about what you found via google.

    I would definitely ask questions if I found info that was 'off' about the person. It must be done with some tact, but asking questions about someone's character always requires tact.

    I would have no problem with looking them up, telling them I looked them up, and asking for their side of the story.
  • wild~hairwild~hair Posts: 9,890Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    cympreni wrote: »
    Good point, It very well could be a googleganger. I couldn't even begin to count the number of hits DH's name came up. There are 3 people in my small town with his name, and no relation right down to the middle initial. And I am apparently an author, a reporter, a 16 year old girl, and the wife of a man who got caught driving drunk taking me to the hospital while in labor.

    Well, it requires some common sense of course.

    I wouldn't assume everything I read to be true, but I never do on the web. No one should.
  • SpiceCurlsSpiceCurls Posts: 501Registered Users
    I don't think this is a googleganger. The name I found listed the same two towns he's from/currently living in, made a reference to a hobby of his and used a screen name I'm pretty sure is his.

    I'm not inclined to tell him I Googled him even tactfully.
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  • cymprenicympreni Posts: 9,609Registered Users Curl Neophyte
    SpiceCurls wrote: »
    I don't think this is a googleganger. The name I found listed the same two towns he's from/currently living in, made a reference to a hobby of his and used a screen name I'm pretty sure is his.

    I'm not inclined to tell him I Googled him even tactfully.

    I still wouldn't be sure. There are 3 different people in my home town with the exact first, last and middle initial as my husband. One was in a car accident and died, a few people read about it in the paper, and called to console his family, boy were they surprised when he answered the phone. And also, the other once made the paper for wining a sword, also a hobby of DH. And apparently we have similar telephone numbers too because we keep getting calls meant for him. We think he's remodeling his house, so far mortgage co. and several remodeling places. If I hadn't actually seen the other man, I'd probably think he was living a double life!
  • KCLKCL Posts: 1,663Registered Users
    eh, even if I was absolutely positive it was him, I wouldn't ask him.

    I just happen to be of the mind that researching someone on the internet and then grilling them on questions/issues discovered in your research is a good way not to get any more dates with someone who might actually be a nice guy.

    It would have to be done very tactfully in order for you not to look like a total nutbag and it really isn't worth it unless you found out he was a criminal or child molestor...and in that case, better to just cancel the date.

    Otherwise, take the time to get to know him (and his character) the standard way.
    If there were more people on earth who desired their own happiness more than the unhappiness of others we would have a paradise ~ Bertrand Russell

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